Wrong

(Day 127: Sunday Noon)

"Well, look who it is," Mal comments at the cafeteria table, as Chad wobbles into the room. "Looks like Charming's back."

Doug turns and notices the open toed cast, "You really did a number on him."

"Why?" Mal furrows her brows. "Because of that strappy boot? That's not my fault."

"No," Carlos mumbles. "He's been complaining about ankle pain for a while."

"Why's he coming over here?" Jay questions.

"Better question," Mal comments. "If he's here and not with Ben, then where's Ben?"

"Oh, no," Doug realizes, before he stands from his seat. "I'll go find him."

After he leaves Mal returns her attention to Chad, before he says, "Hey."

"What you want?" she irritably responds.

Chad doesn't speak, merely glancing over them all and then observing her. "Hey, pretty boy," Jay cuts in. "She asked a question."

He hesitates, "I'm just wondering if I should thank you or not."

Mal shakes her head, "What for?"

"You know," Chad nods down. "For poisoning me. If I wasn't sent to the hospital, then my ankle could have got worse. Thanks to you I get to keep playing."

Mal narrows her eyes, "I don't know what you're talking about."

Chad glances down, "It doesn't matter. It's just…" before he meets her eyes again. "I know it was you, and even though you made a lot of bad stuff happen to me." He pauses, "I would like to thank you."

"Then why not just say it and get it over with?" she counters.

Chad's quiet for a moment, "I just did." before he shakes his head and sighs. "Never mind. I'm just being stupid."

After he leaves Mal turns back around, "I paralyze him to get him out of the game, and that somehow makes it so that he can play that game longer?" She rolls her eyes, "I swear, some people just have all the luck in the world."

"Hey. Ben," Doug comments, as he walks into the dorm and notices him at the table with a textbook. "How are you doing?"

"Fine," Ben mumbles.

"I didn't see you at lunch," he walks forward. "You had me worried."

"Afraid I was going to jump again?" he mumbles.

"Yes, actually," Doug furrows his brows and takes a seat across from him. "You can't just disappear after what you did."

"Disappear," Ben repeats. "Dis means not, and…"

"I just mean," Doug explains, "that I would like to know where you are."

Ben frowns, "I'm always here. I always do homework. It's not that hard to work out."

"Yeah. I know, but—" He faces him, "I'm still scared about what you could do." before he adjusts his glasses. "I mean, first you say you could kill yourself if you wanted to, and then you actually tried to?"

"I was going through stuff," Ben excuses.

"So, you're not still thinking about doing it?" he questions.

He gives him a look, "I told my mother I would be there for her. I'm keeping that."

Doug notices his expression change, "What is it?"

Ben wets his lips, "Nothing." before he faces him. "It's just… my doctor said that if I don't eat meat, then— that." He shakes his head, "Just that I have to."

"Because you will die if you don't," Doug frowns.

Ben shuts his eyes and grips onto his pencil, "I don't know what to do." before he opens them again. "I want to keep the— the… the promise I told my mother, but…" He looks up at him, "I don't think I can do it."

"Why don't you want to eat meat?" he softly questions.

It takes a minute for Ben to say, "It's a… a reminder."

"A reminder of what?"

Ben's eyes shift, "Of everything I'm not." before he meets his eyes again. "Of what I am." He looks down at the textbook, whispering, "I can't even look at it without feeling so…"

"Without feeling like what?" Doug asks, before Ben faces him and he can see the tears in his eyes.

"I don't know." He breathes, "I just feels so wrong. And I don't know why." Ben gulps, "Why is this happening to me?"

"Not to bring up the eating thing," Doug slowly answers, "but stress could have triggered it." He thinks, "You feel like you have no control over your own life, but there's two things you can control. You can control what you eat… and when you die." Ben's breathing increases, before he places a hand to his face and the tears begin to stream down. Doug places a hand on his shoulder, "It's okay. We're going to get you through this."

"You're a lot more irritable than usual," Carlos notices. "Are you off your drugs or something?"

Chad rolls his eyes, "No. I'm not off my drugs."

"Then, what is up with you?" he questions.

"That's none of your damn business," he bypasses.

"Is it what Mal did?"

Chad shakes his head, "She helped me. Why would I be upset about that?"

"Because, she paralyzed you," Carlos slowly points out.

"Yeah," Chad furrows his brows. "For, like, three hours."

"So, you're not upset?"

Chad turns to him, "Don't you think if I was upset, I would press charges?"

Carlos shrugs, "I don't know."

"I'm not upset with Mal," he frowns.

"And you're not going through withdrawals?"

"I mean," Chad sighs, "I'm trying to cut down, but I literally just took some so I could focus on homework."

"So, you're just generally irritable?" Carlos questions, and Chad merely shrugs. "You know, if it is just that, then orgasms are a good way to reduce stress."

Chad looks off, "We're not doing that."

"Why not?" he frowns.

"Because," Chad faces him. "I told you. I have a test. I need to study."

"And you can't take a five minute break to destress?" Carlos disbelieves.

"Okay." Chad's voice raises, "You want to know why I'm really not doing it? I'm not doing it, because it's wrong."

"Okay. Yeah." He slowly states, "It's illegal, but that's never stopped you before."

"That's not what I mean," Chad asserts, and then Carlos silences. "It's wrong, because God says it's wrong. We're not doing it again. Ever."

Carlos furrows his eyebrows, "You're going to let some dead guy tell you what to do? Sexuality is biological. Jesus didn't know that."

"God knows everything," Chad yells. "Now, if you don't like it, then get the hell out. Otherwise, stay and just fucking help me with this."

Carlos is quiet for a moment, "Okay. I'll stay." before he slides Chad's notes over. "Which section did you want to review?"

"Saturated vs unsaturated hydrocarbons," Chad lets out a breath.

Carlos nods as he finds the chapter notes, "Okay." and he looks over the vocab. "Can you tell me the difference between alkanes, alkenes, and alkynes?"