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She's a strong woman. She'll be fine. John told himself standing on her doorstep. He was about to break a heart, a bond, a relationship, several hopes and dreams. He felt dreadful. But continuing it knowingly that it is a sham would be more immoral. He steadied himself and braced himself for the worst scenario. He would have to go through it.

But what followed was completely unforeseen.

Mary was a fairly intelligent girl and certainly not an emotional fool. She knew John well. So when she opened the door that day and took a good look at his appearance she knew what was going to happen. There had been tale tell signs for the past few weeks, it was only a matter of time for the matter to come to light.

Mary could have asked Harry or Mike but she was very sensitive and fiercely private about such matters. Though it was hard for her to believe that her John would fall for some other girl yet she tried to figure out who she could be. She had made a mental list of females close to John, mostly from the work place but no one seemed to fit the bill. John was friendly but aloof with them, he had introduced her to them indicating that she was his fiancée.

Then who?

Well, she was about to get her answer now.

They sat in silence for almost hour facing each other but not looking directly. The silence was getting very uncomfortable but they both were buying time. John's pulse rate was on an overdrive and he kept telling himself to just say it and get it over. But guilt choked him every time he tried to open his mouth.

Mary was buying time because she was keeping her emotions in check, she didn't want to create a scene. It wouldn't help. But the suspense was taking a toll on her patience now.

"Who is it John?" She said not looking up.

It startled John. He looked at her questioningly.

"Yes I know. You've changed in the past few weeks. It was detectable. Just don't know who I lost you to. " She said glancing up at the man she loved.

John's face became dark as he bowed his head in resignation. He didn't know he was that obvious. Oh he was alright. To Sherlock, to mike then how could the person closest to him miss? He sighed and looked up.

"You haven't lost me to anyone Mary. Right now there is no one in my life I can assure you that. And there are chances that there never will be." He said finally.

Mary looked away in an attempt to control the tears that threatened to fall from her eyes unbidden and bit her lips.

"But I have recently realized that I am still capable of being attracted to someone else and that is not right." John continued.

"And who is that someone else?"

"It's a he." John said plainly.

"What?" Mary said stunned at the revelation.

"I know how it sounds Mary. I hardly know this person and I'm not sure if I'd ever end up with him. But the truth is I'm very much attracted to him." Understatement of the century.

Mary looked at him as a hint of hope flickered in her wet eyes.

"Maybe…maybe this is just a passing phase…maybe things could go back to being like they were." She said urging.

John swallowed and smiled sadly. If only she knew.

"Mary, have you ever thought why I haven't been able to take the next step?"

Mary looked away as realization struck her. Didn't she know it always? Didn't she just fool herself constantly by saying that John just needed time? John loved her. But he didn't love her enough. She thought it was enough for her but as it seems it wasn't enough for John.

John went in front of her and knelt down. He took her hands in his.

"Mary."

She looked up at him sobbing.

"I want to tell you that you are the most kind, special, caring, deserving, bright woman I've ever had the good fortune of coming into acquaintance with. I on the other hand am a complete and utter idiot, totally screwed up moron who doesn't know what's good for him. But I at least have the right mind to let you find a better life for yourself. Please forgive me Mary."

"It's not easy John. It's not easy." Said Mary shaking her head. Broken.

"I know. But it's certainly not the worst." John said empathically.

"Why did this have to happen?"

"Believe me Mary, I have the same question." But I'm glad this happened.

After sometime when Mary had somewhat collected herself and John found it necessary to let her alone for some time, he went out.

Now for Sherlock.

John said to himself as he walked into the buzzing, crowded streets of London in search of his unknown destination.