Hawthorne

(Day 130: Wednesday Morning)

When Chad walks up to him Ben turns from his locker, and he notices his giant grin, "You seem happy."

"Yes. I am," Chad nods, before he holds out a small, lidded cup. "Here."

Ben unsurely takes it, "What is this?"

"That?" He hurriedly answers, "It's a cup. You pee in it."

He gives him a look, "And why would I do that?"

"Okay. Look," Chad says as he places a hand on his shoulder. "I'm getting scouted, but obviously I can't pass a drug test. So, you're going to take it for me."

Ben's eyebrows furrow, "Scouted? But you're only a sophomore, and you're in a cast."

"I know," he excites. "Isn't it great?" He claps his hands together, "So, now, all I have to do is turn the test back in to Coach. By the end of the day. When can I get it back from you?"

Ben shakes his head, "You know, Chad. You may think I will do whatever you ask. But you're wrong, and you can't just make up my mind for me all the time just because I can't make split-second-decisions like you."

"But you're going to do it?" he raises his eyebrows.

Ben sighs, "Even if I wanted to, you know I take stuff too."

"No. Look," Chad cuts the air with his hand. "They're not going to be looking for that over-the-counter crap you take. They're going to be looking for steroids, opioids, that kind of shit." He grins, "So, come on. Help me out. I know you want to."

He gives him a stern look, "Just to be clear, your smile didn't influence me at all."

Chad makes a fist before moving his arm up and down, "Yes."

Ben sighs, "I can't believe I'm doing this for you." before he places it inside his three-ring-binder and maneuvers the stack of books out of his locker. "You know, holding that cup and my junk at the same time is going to be a pain in the ass."

"Well," Chad makes a face, as he glances at the blue sling, "I would offer to help, but—"

"I can do it myself," Ben firmly interrupts. "Even if I have to put the cup on the seat or something stupid like that."

He narrows his eyes, "You know you're supposed to pee with the seat up, right?"

Ben swiftly turns towards him, slamming his locker shut with his shoulder, "Do you want me to do this for you or not?"

"Duh."

"Then stop criticizing my methods," he declares, and after a minute he takes a deep breath and wets his lips, "You said you needed it back this afternoon?"

"Yes," Chad confirms.

Ben nods, "Okay. I have Anatomy and Physiology before lunch. How about you catch me before class?"

It takes a moment for him to ask, "Isn't that where the science classrooms are?"

"Well, it is a science class," he points out. "Don't you have Chemistry with Doug and Evie that hour, anyway? It should be an easy meet up."

"Yes," Chad frowns. "It should be."

Ben gives him a look, "What's wrong?"

Chad tries to smile, "Nothing. I was just thinking, who was your teacher again?"

He smiles, "Mr. Hawthorne. Pretty nice guy. I had him last year for Biology too."

"Wait," Chad interrupts. "He has Biology too?"

"And Botany and Life Science and Engineering," Ben lists the classes he recalls from the board. "I think you'll like him. He always manages to keep the class interesting, and sometimes he even gives out treats."

"Yeah," Chad slowly states. "He gives snacks to the tourney team too."

"Really?"

Chad nods, "You always left before he did… but he did." before he meets Ben's eyes. "He does, says it's to keep up our carbs or energy or whatever."

"That would have to be before the game," Ben counters.

"Yeah." Chad looks off, "You would think a Biology teacher would know that." before he faces him again. "Which I probably won't be taking next year, actually."

Ben gives a look, "But your plan was to take Biology next year so that you can take Anatomy and Physiology your senior year."

"Well, yeah. I know." He frowns, "But I feel like taking something else now."

"Like what?"

"Astronomy," Chad immediately says. "You know, I hear that stars sing. Is that true?"

"Yeah," Ben narrows his eyes. "But you're bad at math. Isn't Astronomy just another physics class, except with more math?"

It takes a second for him to grin, "Looks like I have some work to do this summer, then." before he pats Ben's shoulder. "See you before Chem."

"Yeah," Ben unsurely responds, before he hears the bell and watches Chad walk away.

"It's in the yellow binder," Ben says, before Chad takes it from the top of his stack.

"Awesome. Thank you," he comments.

When Chad begins to step away Ben furrows his eyebrows, "Hey. We're not done talking." and then he faces him again.

After a moment of silence Chad prompts, "So, we're talking?"

Ben wets his lips, "Look. Um." before he sighs. "Are you okay?"

He shakes his head, "Yeah. Why wouldn't I be?"

"Well," Ben uneasily begins. "It just, I noticed that you haven't really been on social media, and with how outgoing you normally are… Honestly, it's had me a little worried."

Chad shakes his head, "I just… I realized some things are private, that I don't have to share every little thing that's going on in my life." He makes an unsure expression, "Is that wrong somehow?"

"No. Of course, not." Ben sighs, "It's just… It's not like you."

"People change," he frowns.

Ben nods, "You're right. They do." before he hesitates. "But just to be sure… I know what Mal did. Does this have anything to do with that?"

Chad looks off before bearing his teeth at him, nearly yelling, "Not everything is about your stupid girlfriend."

Ben pauses, "Then what is it about?"

"Nothing," he enunciates. "I just figured I could keep some things to myself." He looks him over, "I thought that maybe you'd be happy about that." before he shakes his head and takes a step back. "I have to go."

"Wait," Ben calls after him, but Chad doesn't listen this time.

After Ben sighs he hears a voice from behind him, "Good morning, Ben."

Ben turns around and smiles at the black haired teacher, "Good morning."

"Your friend seemed in a hurry," he comments.

"Oh. Yeah," Ben glances back. "Class is starting soon."

He nods, "Yes. It is." before he starts to frown. "Shame, though. I was hoping to see how he's doing. It's not every day a sport loses its star player."

"I think he's fine." Ben's eyes shift in thought, "Just a little… off, I guess."

"Hmm," the brown eyed teacher nods. "But a broken ankle will do that."

"It's not broken," Ben corrects. "It's just…"

"Fractured?"

Ben makes a face, "Maybe… It's cracked."

"Does that mean he will be playing again this year?"

Ben takes a moment, "He's being… scouted."

"So, yes, then?" he inquires.

Ben lifts a shoulder, "I don't know."

The teacher nods, "Well. In any case, could you talk to him for me? Tell him I wish him well and back on the field?"

He nods, "Yeah. Okay."

The man smiles, "Great." before he takes some papers out of the red folder. "Oh. And here." He places them on top of his stack. "The notes and homework assignment."

Ben smiles back, "Thank you."

He meets his eyes, "You are very welcome."

As Ben and Chad walk down the hallway to lunch Ben remembers, "Oh. And Mr. Hawthorne wanted me to tell you that he hopes you get better soon and back onto the field."

Chad huffs, "Of course, he would."

Ben stops, "What's that supposed to mean?"

He turns towards him, "Really? You don't see it?"

"See what?"

"He's not a good guy," Chad stresses.

Ben takes a moment, "How?"

"He just is," Chad widens his eyes. "You've got to believe me."

"Chad," he sighs. "Mr. Hawthorne rewards students for good work, he checks on how we're doing, and even you've said how much he's been supporting the tourney team."

"Exactly," Chad nearly yells. "He's not our coach, you get that? He doesn't have the right to get all up in our business, compliment us and ask if we're hurt, or give out snacks. Hell. He doesn't even have the right to talk to us." Chad furrows his brows, "He's a fucking science teacher. He should stay in his room, where he belongs."

It takes a minute for Ben to respond, "Teachers are people too, Chad. He has a life outside of the classroom, and if he likes tourney, he likes tourney." He notices Chad look off in frustration, "And isn't it a good thing that the players have that extra support?" Chad shakes his head. "Seriously. What do you have against him?"

Chad faces him, "What I have against him? He's not our coach. And he ain't no fucking nurse either, so he should stop pretending to be."

Ben takes a deep breath, "Look. In my opinion more teachers should care about keeping their students interested in what they're learning and make sure they succeed in all areas of life, but if you really think he's overstepping his bounds as a science teacher… Well, then, maybe you should report him."

Chad is quiet for a moment, "No." before he lets out a breath. "It's nothing. I was just being stupid. Forget about it."

Ben unsurely comments, "Okay." and with that Chad turns around and continues to walk down the hallway.

When Ben sits down at the table the five people stare at him. "What?"

"You're sitting with us," Jay points out.

Ben lifts a shoulder, "Chad didn't want to sit with me."

"Really?" Mal raises her eyebrows.

Ben looks about the table, "Is it just me or is he acting weird?"

"Chad?" Doug examines. "Doesn't he always act weird? I mean, you complain about how back-and-forth he is all the time."

"Well, yeah," Ben begins. "But…"

After Ben makes a stumped noise Carlos comments, "He said he's trying to cut down on the morphine. Maybe it's that." Ben gives him a look. "What? You didn't know?"

"Oh. I know," he stares him down. "What I don't know is why you are telling a king, a law maker, about Chad's crime."

"Oh," Carlos slowly realizes. "Well… I just thought you would know."

"Morphine is a hard drug to quit," Mal notes. "He's probably just… not handling it well."

Ben nods, "Maybe." before he meets her green eyes. "How about you? How are you doing?"

Mal glances at Jay, "I'm getting help." before she faces him again. "But… I kind of need a reason to."

"Am I not enough?" Ben wonders.

She takes a moment, "Do I even have you?"

Ben wets his lips before touching the crest on her ring, "You will always have me."

-Posted: 12/20/2018

- Tzei Thank you for the comments. They were very reassuring, and I liked how you mentioned the roof scene. I liked that scene too. Oh, and your comment on Belle, I'm happy that even if you don't currently like her that her actions can still be understood. I hate making characters do things without a reason, and I'm glad to know it got across. As far as me giving up, don't worry. I'm not. Things have just been hectic this week, because I got two interviews for a job within to days (which completely messed up my sleep and general schedule) and because I've been trying to write the chapters one day and then edit them the next, it may seem like I gave up but I haven't. I just got busy... Assuming that my background check clears and I pass orientation, I don't know how many chapters I'll be able to finish within a week; however, my goal of completing this fic by the end of the month was impossible in the first place, so I will happily keep that goal. If I don't finish it by then, then I'll finish it in January. And I will. I have to write or else I can't think about anything else and I go crazy... Seriously. I've been getting less intrusive thoughts by writing this fic. I have a theory now that if I write a memory (or a part or version of it) that I will no longer have a safety need to remember it and therefore remember it less often... Still needs further testing.

- So, at this point in the fic I feel the need to say that not everyone who is religious is a mean person, ignorant of it or not. I know I only have two main characters who have been announced as religious and that both of them are diving deep into their beliefs right now with very little lean-way, so I really thought I should mention that I don't at all think all religious people are like that. Audrey just doesn't have many real problems of her own to deal with, so she can thank God for her perfect life. And because Chad feels like God is punishing him, he's just not very willing to be flexible with ideas right now. These things will change... eventually.