A/N: Oh, look, an update!

Chapter 20

Rose stood on a roof terrace, observing the garden party below her. It could have been one of Pete's Vitex parties, had it not been for the three or four purplish people on the dance floor. Every once in a while a few snatches of music or laughter wafted up to her, but compared to the parties she had become used to during the last few years it was rather quiet here. It seemed as if everyone was waiting for something.

A few years ago, she'd been here with the Doctor, shortly after Krop Tor. He'd promised her a ball, and fireworks that were famous throughout the entire quadrant. Of course they had never made it to the ball, because they had stumbled into an alien plot to take over the government, but she'd immediately fallen in love with the dress the TARDIS had laid out for her, the same dress she was wearing now.

She was dreaming, she knew it, but was it the right kind of dream?

Their last encounter between universes had been more than five months ago. At the time the Doctor had been almost mad with desperation, but she had been certain that she had brought him to his senses, and – even more importantly – that she had made clear that she didn't want him to take risks with his life or, worse, the universe just to get her back. But then the TARDIS had screamed to her across the Void, and she had known that the Doctor was in fatal danger.

When she had merged with Bad Wolf she had not really been able to determine her surroundings. All she had been able to perceive was the presence of both the TARDIS and the Doctor, a dark entity he was fighting, and the fact that there were cracks in the fabric of the universe. How she knew that, she couldn't tell, but they were there. And while she was certain that the Doctor didn't have anything to do with their existence, she felt that they were dangerous, and so she had started closing them as soon as they had gotten rid of that entity, whatever it had been.

When she finally had had to leave, the Doctor had seemed more or less fine, but she didn't know for sure. What if he was injured, mentally or physically? What if that fight had somehow damaged the bond between them? She sighed. The 'what ifs' were driving her crazy, had done so for weeks now.

But since the Bad Wolf Event, as Jake had nicknamed it, there had been no sign of the Doctor. She had been certain that he would try to contact her as soon as possible, but until now nothing had happened. She had tried to explain the silence with the TARDIS being too exhausted to bridge the Void, but that hadn't stopped her from becoming more and more worried.

Her thoughts were interrupted by the feeling of a presence behind her. Someone had invaded her personal space. Being absolutely certain who it was, she stayed exactly where she was, and a relieved smile blossomed on her face. It was the right kind of dream, after all.

The Doctor's arms closed around her from behind, and he rested his chin on her head.

"I thought I'd lost you," he said, an undertone in his voice she couldn't quite place.

She leant against him and her smile deepened. Fairly certain what he was referring to, she replied, "You haven't."

He took a step back and despite the warm night she felt suddenly cold without his embrace. Then he turned her around so she was facing him, and fixed her with his eyes.

"Do you have any idea how dangerous that was?" he asked, barely suppressed anger vibrating in his voice. "It could have killed you."

"Pot meet kettle, kettle meet pot," Rose said drily. "Don't tell me whatever you did couldn't have killed you."

"I knew what I was doing."

"Yeah, right. And because you knew what you were doing the TARDIS had to pull Bad Wolf across the Void to save you." Rose knew she was getting louder, but she didn't care. All the uncertainty and worry of the last couple of weeks suddenly took over, and rational thought left the vicinity rather quickly.

"At least I knew what was going on," he declared, still sounding furious. "You didn't even know what was happening!"

"Apart from the fact that the TARDIS was screaming for help, no, I had no idea what was happening, and I still don't know what exactly almost killed you."

"Right. And because you didn't know what was happening you decided to do something really stupid and merge with the TARDIS. Again. In case you hadn't noticed, that almost got you killed the first time."

Rose winced as if he had hit her. He hadn't called her stupid since the day he had taken her to meet her father. She took a step back, away from him, without even realising that she was moving, and leant against the balustrade behind her.

The Doctor seemed to notice that something was wrong and reached for her. "Rose…"

She crossed her arms and took a deep breath. "No, Doctor. It doesn't work like that. You don't throw yourself into danger to get me back – and don't tell me that wasn't the reason you ended up in that situation in the first place – and then deny me the right to help you, in fact calling me stupid for doing what I still think was right."

The Doctor averted his eyes for a long moment, then looked at her again. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean it. I just… I can't lose you."

She gave him a sad smile. "Doctor, don't you see? I don't want to lose you either." She closed the distance between them and cupped his cheek. "I just did what felt right. I knew the TARDIS wouldn't have called me if there had been any other way. And so I came."

"Rose, it could have killed you," the Doctor repeated, but he sounded calmer than before. "What we're doing here is possible because we're both asleep, but when you crossed the Void, both of us were awake. And even if you survived it, you could have ended up in a coma or with severe brain damage. Until now I didn't even know if you were alive – and still you."

"Doctor, don't you think that doing nothing while I knew you were in danger and probably could do something about it might have killed me as well?" Then she gave him a cheeky grin. "Besides, someone once told me that I'm jeopardy friendly."

His lips twitched with barely suppressed humour. "That you are. And since I doubt that I can make you promise to never do something like this again, will you at least promise me that you'll be careful?"

She raised her eyebrows. "I'll be careful, but only if you promise me the same. Because I know you, Doctor, and I'm fairly certain you wouldn't have been in whatever trouble you managed to find if you hadn't seen a chance to get me back."

"Fine," he grumbled. "I'll be careful."

Rose shoved her hands under his jacket and pulled him nearer. "I love you," she said.

Slowly his arms came back around her. "I love you."

He rested his chin on her head once more, and for some time they just stood there, on a roof terrace that only existed in their minds, listening to the music of the ball the Doctor had once promised her, content to hold each other.

"How is it that you always find me?" Rose asked eventually. "I mean, both of us should be dreaming at the moment, so why can't I find you?"

"Two reasons, really. One, I'm the telepath; and two, I'm the one in the same universe as the TARDIS, and she is the one guiding us here."

Rose frowned. "But you said I was telepathic – and I wouldn't have been able to cross the Void when the TARDIS called me if I wasn't."

"True, but your telepathy is still developing, and very weak compared to mine." He paused, suddenly becoming extremely serious. "At this point we have no idea how strong you might become one day. That doesn't mean, however, that you should run around with an unprotected mind. You need defences."

"Defences?"

"For starters, a shield to protect your mind from other telepaths. Even if most telepathic species abhor entering minds without permission, there are others that would violate yours just for the fun of it – or to gain information."

"And how do I get a shield?"

"I'm going to explain to you what you have to do, and you have to practice regularly, Rose, that's important." He looked her in the eyes. "It would be easier if I could show you, but we'd need physical contact for that." The disappointment was evident in his voice, even if he tried to hide it.

"Which we don't have, because we are not in the same universe," Rose said, knowing where his disappointment came from. He had once told her that he had been able to feel his people in his head, like a background hum, but since the Time War that was gone. The bond that was developing between them would help to ease the emptiness in his mind, but it wasn't strong enough yet, and that would change only if she ever found a way home.

"Right." He looked around and pointed to the left, where a small bench stood in front of the balustrade. "Take a seat."

Rose suspected that his lesson about building telepathic shields would take some time, and she looked at the bench in displeasure. The small piece of garden decoration was wrought iron, apparently hadn't been painted in ages, so the colour was already flaking off, and it looked extremely uncomfortable.

"Not exactly what I would describe as 'comfy'," she said. "Can't we do that elsewhere, or, I dunno, change it, like you did the last time, when you brought us to that planet with the blue grass?"

"'Course we can. Or rather you." He grinned at her. "Consider this the first part of your lesson."

He took her hands in his. "I'll tell you what to do in the beginning, but you should always follow your instincts. It's a bit different for everyone. Changing something's easier if it's not a living thing, and if you have memories to work with. And as you might have noticed, it doesn't work with food at all."

She grinned at him. "How could I forget that dinner I never got? Even if it is a bit Harry Potter, don't you think?"

He grinned back. "Yes, a bit. Now close your eyes and imagine how you want it to be."

Rose closed her eyes and concentrated on the bench, thinking about the one in Pete's garden she frequently occupied to watch the stars at night. It was made of mahogany, and she always brought a few cushions and a blanket to make it more comfortable. Thus equipped, the bench was almost perfect; all it was lacking was the Doctor, holding her in his arms and telling her stories about the stars above them.

She could feel the Doctor's hands holding hers, slightly cool to the touch, but reassuring nonetheless.

"Open your mind, Rose," the Doctor murmured into her ear. "Imagine how the seat will feel under your fingers, when you touch the surface. Imagine the scratches it got from daily use. Imagine how the colour changes during the day, depending on how the sun shines on it…"

His breath ghosted over her skin, and a shiver ran down her spine, but she held her concentration. She let his words wash over her, shutting everything else out. In her mind she slowly created a perfect image of the piece of furniture.

"…imagine it standing here, in front of the balustrade, illuminated by the lights of the party below us…"

His voice had an almost hypnotic effect on her, caressing her mind as his thumbs caressed her hands.

If someone asked her, she couldn't have said how much time had passed until she was certain that the picture in her mind was accurate, but the Doctor seemed to be able to pinpoint the exact moment.

"And now push," he said.

Even if he didn't explain what he meant, instinctually she knew. She took the picture in her mind and shoved it into reality.

The Doctor let go of her hands. "Take a look. That what you imagined?"

She opened her eyes, turned around and looked at the bench, smiling, albeit a bit exhausted.

"Just as I imagined. Well, almost."

He raised an eyebrow. "Wrong colour?"

She laughed. "No. It looks perfect, like it ought to be. I just always imaged the two of us sitting there, gazing at the stars."

He smiled. "Even if the star gazing will have to wait until you know at least the basics about mental shields, that doesn't mean we can't make use of the bench."

He took her hand and led her to the seat, sat down and pulled her into his arms.

"Better?"

"Perfect." She snuggled into him. "So, how do those mental shields work?"

The Doctor enfolded her in his arms and entwined his fingers with hers. "Imagine a fortress. Most of them have not just one, but multiple lines of defence, a moat, an outer wall, sometimes an inner wall, and as a last resort a keep. You can make do with the keep alone, but it helps to have the other defences as well, even if their only purpose is to buy you time until someone comes to your rescue.

"The same principle applies to mental shields. The more you have, the longer it takes an assaulter to get through them, and that gives you time to figure out a strategy to fight them. That is, if you know what you're doing and are able to keep up all your different shields at the same time. However, you need lots of training to do that. Therefore you start with one shield, and add others later."

"And how do I do that?"

The Doctor slightly adjusted his position on the seat, still holding Rose in his arms. "All in all, it's not so different from what you did with the bench…"

~o~o~o~

About an hour later the Doctor finally fell silent, having given Rose what he called a 'basic overview' about mental shields, which made her head spin nonetheless.

After a long pause, during which she tried to sort through the information he had given her, she said, "I miss you."

Knowing that he would blame himself for that, she continued quickly, "It's not your fault. It's just… hard sometimes. I know we will find a way, Doctor, even if it takes us another couple of years, but -"

"Another couple of years?" he croaked and sat up, almost toppling Rose off the bench in the process. "Rose, what year is it in Pete's world?"

"2016. Why do you ask?"

He stared at her, horrified, and muttered something under his breath that could only be a curse. "The universes are drifting faster apart. When we ended up in Pete's World for the first time the universes were aligned, but when Pete pulled me over during the battle of Canary Wharf more than three years had passed for him, and less than six months for your Mum. Canary Wharf is less than a year ago for me and Donna, but your universe is more than eight years ahead, and if this continues..."

He got up and made two long steps away from the bench, unable to sit still any longer.

Rose followed him. "What do you mean?"

"A few years don't matter, but if the deviation becomes too large… Have you ever seen how navy ships refuel at sea?"

She shook her head, confused by what seemed a sudden change of topic.

"Crossing from one universe into the other is a similar concept. To refuel, two vessels adopt identical course and speed, then make a connection. But both ships have to compensate for wind and swell constantly, because otherwise the distance between them or the deviation of speed becomes too large, which might not only disrupt the connection, but one of them might sink the other." Or both, he didn't say but she understood anyway.

"The universes will collapse if the discrepancy is too large," she stated. It wasn't a question.

"As soon as I open the portal," he confirmed her thoughts. "Not that I have any idea how to do that at the moment, or when the divergence reaches its critical point." He paused and looked away for a moment, then continued, "It wouldn't matter if there were other Time Lords around to help. They would simply compensate for the deviation. But without them…" His voice trailed off, but the desperation in his eyes told her all she needed to know. He thought it was impossible.

Well, she had removed the word from her dictionary years ago.

Once again she buried her arms under his jacket and looked up at him. "We'll think of something, yeah?"

"Rose…"

"No, Doctor." She took a step back and poked his chest with her finger. "No giving up. We're both too stubborn for that. Besides, it would prove my mum right, and we're not gonna give her that."

He laughed, albeit a bit forced, and pulled her back into his arms. "Yeah, can't have Jackie being right about something, can we?" Then he became serious again. "You know, I've got no idea what I did to deserve you."

"That's because –"

Rose never finished her sentence, because suddenly something exploded over their heads. She turned in surprise. The entire western sky was sparkling with fireworks in thousands of colours.

"It's beautiful!"

"It is. And it's more than just simple fireworks. Just watch."

Rose leant against the Doctor and looked at the sky, and eventually she began to make out patterns. What before had seemed like random spirals and circles in the sky turned out to be figures and images, telling stories of times long gone, of war and peace, of danger and friendship, and of love, always of love.

She only noticed that she was crying when the Doctor turned her around and gently wiped her tears away.

"Shhh. Don't cry, love."

"I…"

"Shhh," he repeated, then tilted her chin up and kissed her gently.

The feeling of his lips on hers finally brought Rose back to her senses. She brought her arms around his neck and kissed him back.

Despite all that had happened, and despite their chances of a reunion being at an all-time low, they took their time, savouring the kiss. Then they began to divest each other of their clothes, slowly, as if they had all the time in the world, until both wore nothing more than the reflection of the fireworks on their skin. For the rest of the night the Doctor and Rose Tyler made love to each other, until they finally fell asleep in each other's arms, somewhere between universes, under a sky still glowing in every colour imaginable.

Two weeks later Rose Tyler's life went to hell.