Desperate

(Day 152: Thursday Noon)

After Aziz catches Ben on the treadmill he strides across the weight's room, "Hey." But all he gets from him is a quick glance. "It's time for lunch."

"Yeah," Ben bypasses. "I'll be there. Just let me finish this mile."

"Is this where you went to when you skipped out on your interpreter to use the bathroom?" he irritably responds.

"Give me a break," Ben heavily breathes. "I haven't exercised all week."

"We told the headmistress you disappeared."

Ben pauses the treadmill and faces him, "Why the hell did you do that?"

"We thought you could've gone to try and hurt yourself," he huffs.

He gives him a look, "I don't do that anymore." before he goes to start the treadmill.

Aziz notices the amount of miles on the dashboard, "If you skip another meal, I'm going to have to tell her."

"I said I'd be there," Ben growls, before he turns his head down and whispers, "Ten minutes. I just need ten minutes." Aziz stares at him for a minute, before he heads off. "Hey," he calls after him, and Aziz looks over his shoulder. "Where you going?"

He's quiet for a moment, before he calmly comments, "If we're eating in ten minutes, then I need to do the noon prayer now. Besides, someone has to tell Fairy Godmother you're still alive. Obviously, you won't." Ben doesn't respond, turning back to the dashboard and upping the speed, before Aziz's eyes move down, scanning the floor, as he turns to leave.

"Extra Credit again?" the balding man questions.

"Yes," Ben plainly states.

"Ben," Mr. Conrad begins. "You already have an A-."

"So?"

He examines his stiff posture, "So, why do you need extra credit?"

"I told you," Ben stresses, "I need an A."

"You already have the letter grade," he attempts to reason.

"That's not good enough," Ben shouts, before he lets out a shaky breath and mutters, "I need a real A."

"Ben," his brown eyes look through him, "what happens if you don't get an A?"

"Then," Ben defenses, before his voice lowers, "Then it would have been for nothing."

"You've done a lot better than a lot of other students," the professor lets him know. "I wouldn't say that was for nothing."

Ben opens his mouth before repeating, "I need an A."

"Ben—"

"No," he interrupts the nonchalant voice. This isn't nothing, just some foolish, overly ambition teenage request some adult has to talk him down from. Tears fill his eyes, and deep down he hopes he will understand, "I need an A." If he doesn't he'll never hear the end of it, and he just can't sit around another summer listening to that same criticism over and over again. Again. "Please. I'll do anything."

Mr. Conrad takes a moment, frowning, "As a royal, you should know better than to use the term 'anything' in an agreement."

"What can I say?" Ben sadly grins, before he gulps. "I'm desperate."

The teacher meets his eyes, "You did very well on the chapter that dealt with the psychological consequences of abuse." and he watches as Ben's eyes shift before turning back to his desk. "What you didn't do so well on was the rest of the unit, which dealt with how a person develops if they aren't exposed to society or human interaction." He writes something on a post-it note, but when he goes to hand it to him he pulls it back. Ben uneasily faces him, and he questions, "Are you aware of the feral girl who was found locked in her parents' cabin?"

"Yes," Ben confirms.

"She didn't have a voice," he reminds him. "But you do." Ben looks off, and the teacher continues, "You can tell me what's going on."

Ben frowns, "There's nothing to tell."

Mr. Conrad takes a moment, "Your assignment is to write a report on that girl, what happened and how she is now." before he hands him the small paper. "This is my email and phone number. If you have any questions or concerns, don't hesitate to contact me."

He eyes him in suspicion, "Thanks." and when he turns to leave he hears his voice again.

"Are you taking the advanced course next year?"

"Uh." Ben wets his lips before turning back around, "I don't really know."

The professor nods, "In any case, if this summer you find yourself questioning what to do, I would be happy to help you with the course material."

This was a mistake. Ben didn't get him to understand his situation. He got him to validate the concerns he must have already had. Now, he won't ever lay off. "I understand."

Mr. Conrad smiles, "Have a good day."

"Yeah," Ben's eyes shift, before he nods, "You too."

- Posted: 02/08/2019