Hey guys!! .

Thank you so much for the sweet reviews you gave me on the site and on youtube and… everywhere else support means a lot to me. You have no idea how much some of your kind words meant to I still have problems with PM and things I did set up a special email address you can use if you needed/wanted to PM me something. It's:

Well here is chapter 2 as promised.

Don't forget to review… It will get you cookie points!!

Hugsies

Chapter 2:

"Adrian…" I said with a stiff nod facing him completely. I knew that his money helped me to set my mission in motion, but it didn't excuse him to come and invade my mind. "I thought you were letting me go." I said crossing my arms on my chest keeping my distance. "You said you will be waiting for me." I added not being able to stop the guilt of my lies to resurface. "This…" I showed the whole room with a movement of my hand. "This in not waiting Adrian… This is invading." I added seriously.

"Invading?" Adrian asked with a little humorless laugh. "Isn't that a bit exaggerated?"

I glared at him.

"Well ok…" He said raising his hands as if he surrendered. "I know this is a little bit of an invasion, but I had no choice little Dhampire… I was worrying sick about you! I was almost going insane!" He added.

I was about to retort to butt out, but I could see he was absolutely sincere and even if my life didn't have much value to myself anymore it was good to know that someone cared whatever his reason was.

"Well… Thanks but I'm fine." I said trying to sound sincere.

"Oh no Rosie…" I widened my eyes with surprise to that nickname 'Rosie'…That was a first! But I didn't say anything, it wasn't worth it. "You're not fine…You are so far from fine that I don't think you're even in the same area code."

This last remark did manage to steal a little smile out of me.

"I'm really worried that the Rosie I care for will never come back." He said shockingly letting all his defense, smugness and sarcasm behind.

I opened my mouth to say something, but what could I say huh? THAT was unexpected.

"I didn't want to interrupt like this" he said honestly looking down "but… but I intended to keep an eye on you from time to time you know…" He shrugged "a couple of minutes hidden in your dreams just to make sure you were managing, but…" He looked up at me suspiciously. "You didn't dream! At all!!" He added with disbelief like it was still hard for him to believe it even if he saw it by himself. "How… How did you manage that?" He asked.

I shrugged and looked away. "I don't know what you're talking about." I said dismissively, as I secretly thanked the strong sleeping pills I managed to get in Missoula.

Since I left the academy I was just scared to sleep and dream… Dream of Dimitri or Lissa and see my will vanish. So after more than 48 hours without sleep I lost all sense of moral and broke into a pharmacy to stole some sleeping pills. They were doing a great job since I had dreamless nights and woke up pretty rested in the morning.

I wanted to make the stock last and I didn't want to cause a dependency… well I didn't care about addiction really I just didn't want to create a resistance because those tablets were my safety net for now, so I thought I was exhausted enough tonight to sleep without taking a tablet…What a mistake! A mistake that won't repeat itself, I told myself.

"Aww Rosie…" Adrian said finally bringing my attention back to him "you don't have an addictive personality… don't turn into me….It ain't worth it. Nothing is worth destroying yourself."

"It's none of your business!" I said not bothering denying it. Adrian had the annoying ability to read me and it was getting on my nerves.

"Maybe it's not but you are important to me." He said grudgingly. "More important than you can even imagine… More important than I would like you to be." He added confused. "You promised to come back to me little Dhampire….To give me a chance to love you, to make you happy." He added seriously "and I intend for you to respect your promise" he added in a threatening tone, which was totally useless. I had nothing left to lose and we both knew it.

"I didn't Promise anything" I muttered like a spoiled child.

He sighed in rendition. "Well I can see you're still breathing" he added standing up. "I'll get out now. I don't know if I'll ever be able to be in your head again." He said as he figured out I would not give him the opportunity to do so. "So… Well I miss you, miss you bad. Please…don't let us…don't let me down and come back." He said with such an expression on his face that it tightened my chest.

"Thanks for everything" I just said. But as he started to fade away I spoke again. "How is she doing?" I asked cursing myself for doing so as he fully reappeared before me.

"Who?" He asked innocently.

I rolled my eyes as he surely knew who I was talking about. "Who? Lissa of course!"

"Glad you remember her." He said sarcastically, but I could see in his eyes that he almost instantaneously regretted his reaction. "Sorry… that was uncalled for."

I shrugged. Was it? I wasn't sure. I DID abandon the only other person that meant the world to me to hunt the evil version of the love of my life. I abandoned her as she begged me not to go…. I didn't deserve compassion.

"You really want to know?" He asked as he was quickly assessing if he should tell me the truth or lie to spare me.

"I want the truth." I said trying to sound strong. Much stronger than I really felt. "I'd rather hear the hard truth then a sweet lie." I said standing straight. I was guardian Belikov's student… I had to make him proud… I had to make Dimitri proud to have chosen me over everything else.

A little light lit in Adrian's eyes like there was still some hope for the old Rose to come back eventually. "She…" Adrian walked to me and wrapped his right hand over my wrist. "She's a mess…" He said sadly. "Luckily Christian is here and I'm here too like … " he pouted slightly trying to find the correct words, "Like the undesired big brother, but you were her safety net, her shadow, her… well a part of her for so long that… that she's lost." He said nicely.

There was no reproach in his voice and that surprised me. "She knows it's selfish and that you need to deal with your demons and your grief the only way you know how but she loves you so much she… she's just scared she won't see you ever again to tell you how much you mean to her… how much she loves you."

I closed my eyes as a single tear fell down my cheek. I felt his thumb brush it away very softly, so softly that it felt like a feather.

"Don't cry little dhampire." He said trying to cheer me up a little. "If I could be sure that you would try your hardest to come back I would say it's a good thing for the two of you to be separated from each other for some time. She counts on you too much, it's never good."

I opened my eyes and looked at him without a word.

"You will try your hardest to come back right Rose?" He asked worriedly after reading something in my eyes.

I didn't, couldn't and wouldn't answer that question.

"And Christian…" He said changing the subject knowing that making me sullen was not the solution. "He is a bit mad because you left."

"Yeah… because I caused pain to Lissa." I said shamefully.

"No!" He chuckled, "He's mad because you didn't ask him to come with you!"

"What?!" I asked surprised. "He would never have left Lissa and I wouldn't risk his life like that."

"Oh I know!" Said Adrian, smiling "Christian knows it too! He wouldn't have come anyway...You know leaving Lissa with the big bad wolf…" He said pointing to himself. "But I guess you just hurt his ego as you made such a great team against the Strigoi…you were the 'badasses'"

I shook my head. "That does sound like Christian." I said with a tiny smile. "And what about the school? Any good gossip except me dropping out?"

I could see discomfort and embarrassment shift in Adrian's expression and that surprised me more than anything else that had happened tonight. Adrian was royalty… Big royalty!! Embarrassment was not part of the existing feelings in his world. "What? What's happening?" I asked digging my nails into his arm.

"Well…" he swallowed loudly. "Lissa and Christian are pretty busy defending your and Belikov honors anyways… They all know Rosie… They know everything."

"You Told!!" I shouted furious… no not furious… it was way beyond that! I could not find a word for all the anger I felt. "He did so many good things as a guardian!! He was almost a god for these people! A GOD!!" I was shouting so loud that it sounded like a shriek. "And now he will be remembered as the teacher who took advantage of his student! How…How could you?! "

"Would you shut the hell up!" He shouted back louder and angrier than I had ever heard before. Such a reaction coming from his usual smug calm personality shut me up straight away… not an easy thing to do as you know.

"I didn't say anything!" He said still shouting. "Like I wanted everyone to know!!" He added still angry. "Well let me tell you something, no I didn't!! Now whatever you decide to do I will always be number two!! The one YOU chose, because your first choice died!!" He said his voice full of despair. "Of course I'm not stupid! I would have known that myself but… But I don't care because….Because I would still have a part of you, whatever small that part might be. But now I know that everybody will talk about it…will make fun of me. And you know what annoys me the most? I still want you as much as I did before… No matter what they think! No matter what they say!"

"I'm…I'm sorry" I said sheepishly.

"I…" he exhaled heavily. "You were not discreet you know…. I noticed it as soon as I met you two and well when you left to find him it was easy to figure out what could be more important to you than Lissa… Your mission… As the rumors of you and Belikov being more than friends grew well...Some people tried to make it sound vile and reproachful, but Alberta snapped one day during lunch saying that what you guys shared was true love, which of course confirmed every rumor."

Alberta… I thought shaking my head.

"But don't worry most of them don't judge you two." He said sincerely. "Nah!" He rolled his eyes, "Most of them think you two are…EPIC." He said shaking his head. "How can I fight an Epic huh?" He asked rhetorically. "Some of them are pretending they always knew as Stan Alto." He rolled his eyes again. "Some others finally put the pieces of the puzzle together, finally understanding some of the many, many hints you threw their way without even knowing it."

"Does…Does she knows?" I asked with apprehension.

"Your mom?" He asked as I nodded. "Yeah… yeah she does." He winced. "And boy she cursed in every language she knows! That Woman is terrifying!" He said sincerely impressed.

I grimaced. I was a failure in her eyes and I was fine with that, but I couldn't bare the idea that she was judging Dimitri too. She didn't know anything… Nobody did! It was so pure, so beautiful so strong that we never stood a chance.

"She's mad sure, disappointed certainly. Clearly surprised as most of them were, but… but she is mainly scared, even if she would rather die than admit it."

"Scared?" I asked surprised.

"It's really hard to face a Strigoi you once knew Rosie and it's even harder to face it when he actually meant something to you." He said seriously

I looked at him frozen as I knew where he was going.

"Your mom has to stay at the Academy as she is temporarily Lissa guardian until you decide to come back, but she is worrying sick, worrying sick that you won't make it back. She is sure that you're not ready to face the one you love…or once loved." He said as I could feel his panic too. "She thinks that if you face him one day you will not make it back. And she prays… as I do that you won't find him."

"I have to do it… I owe it to him!! I can do it! I'm strong enough….So strong! That's why he loved me" I said trying to convince both him and I.

"You are not ready little dhampire and probably never will be. How could you ever face the one who you say is your true love?" He asked more worried than actually questioning. "I'm going to let you go now and I'm sorry about what I'm about to do Rose. I have to do it because I can't lose you… I just can't."

"I. Don't. Understand" I said like a robot.

"I'm sorry… you need to see it by yourself. I…I care for you, too much for my peace of mind" he said fading away.

He was not here anymore I knew that, but I was still in the room.

Why didn't I jump back in my own dream? I wondered.

I turned around, but there was nothing to be seen. I walked to the glass door, and as I was ready to open it I heard a voice behind me….A voice that pinned me to the spot, the most significant sound in my world…His voice.

"Roza… Oh Roza! I missed you so much" he whispered less than a foot behind me.

"Dimitri…" I said in a whisper

"Yes Roza it's me…. Turn around… Look at me my love." He said with a longing tone.

I turned around expecting to see his beautiful brown eyes full of love, but all I saw was red blood eyes. The eyes of Evil in the face of my Angel…My Dimitri was a Strigoi.