A.N: Hey guys!! I was speechless with all the reviews i received for the last chapter. Thank you SOOOO much. I mean i can't find the right words to express how i'm grateful!! So here is one of the more emotional chapter ( for me) so far. I really hope you will enjoy it since it was hard for me to write believe me.
Oh, on another note i wanted to tell you that i'll post my new story tomorrow as i found a beta for it. It is a lot lighter and take place at the end on Frost bite. I hope you'll check it out!!
Well big kudos to you soon. Don't forget to review!!
Hughsies, xoxo
Chapter 12:
I didn't know what to say, I opened my mouth two or three times to speak but closed it again without a word.
What could you say to the evil version of the love of your life? The version you came here to kill, and as it turned out, he was the one saving your life one more time?
My thoughts jumped to Guardian Tanner during his quest to take down Mrs. Karp. What the story don't say is that they both went down during this fight.
At the time I blamed him for being reckless for not understanding that she was not herself anymore but now…I didn't know what to think as I looked at Dimitri standing before my eyes with a ghost of a smile playing on his lips.
"Ah Roza…RAdost'MoyA . Still the same but also so, so different." He said not moving from before me, his eyes fixed on my face. "My memory of you didn't render you justice you know… you are far more beautiful, but…" he took a small step forward, "your eyes… you are so different too." He shook his head "you have lost the rest of hope and peace of mind you had." He said just as matter of fact.
A strigoi was supposed to be driven by bloodlust, pain and destruction more than anything else. They were not supposed to go around saving people!! Especially people who just destroyed at least 70 of its kind.
"Why?" I asked stupidly not even bothering to develop more.
"Why what?" He asked cocking his head on the side but I could clearly see that he had understood my question.
"Why did you save me?" I insisted. "You're….You're a strigoi!" I added.
"Thank you I didn't notice that!" He said sarcastically making me feel stupid.
I was trying to stand, to face him. I felt too subordinate on the floor and I hated that. It was harder than I thought to stand. My head was throbbing and I was feeling so dizzy.
How much blood did I lose already? Plus my back was hurting like hell and I didn't even have a remote idea on the reason why.
Being thrown against a wall is bound to have some consequences you idiot!! I thought trying to help myself up by using the wall behind me as support.
Dimitri sighed and took two more steps forward to help me up, but as soon as his hand touched me, I cringed away from his contact.
He raised his hands in surrender probably seeing the disgusted in my eyes and went back to his initial position.
There was disgust in my eyes but it was not only directed to him. I was disgust of the fact that I was facing that strigoi in particular but even more disgusted by myself knowing that I was longing for this touch, Strigoi or not.
I was finally up supporting myself, my back against the wall.
"Why?" I asked again stubbornly.
"I see some things never change," he said probably thinking about my stubbornness. "Well…" He started thinking on what to say next. "You know sometime you want to change but even when you do your best, and as hard as you try to change, some part of your personality or reactions can never adjust no matter how hard you tried?" He asked.
I nodded thinking on how hard I tried not to love him. It was a useless, time consuming effort as far as I was concerned.
"When you are awaken, sometimes," he shrugged "very rarely in fact, a part of the old you … a part that was so deep and powerful stays inside you and it… it becomes a kind of weakness really." He smiled at me. "Sometime it's the tremendous love of a parent for his child." He said
It made me think of Lucas and Moira Oreza who took some stupid risks to get Christian back and it cost their lives.
"Sometime it's the love of a child for his parents" he continued still scrutinizing my face.
This time I thought of Strigoi Natalie following her dad, Victor, orders.
"And sometime…." He stopped till he was sure that he had my complete attention.
"Sometime it's a love so consuming that you can't erase it. It's what they call 'true love' you know" he said with a snort. "Like I needed that!" He added with defeat.
My jaw dropped.
"But here it is, still inside of me. This love eating me up…" he shook his head with disgust "and I can't do anything about it. You're my Roza and probably always will be."
Dimitri still loved me? Strigoi Dimitri still loved me?? How was I supposed to deal with that? It would have been so much easier to deal with him if I could see only hate toward me, if he was trying to kill me, but he was just there, standing in front of me, talking like he did in the old days!
Andre… I thought it was random but not that much. 'That freaking ghost is really useless!!' that's what he said! I frowned. "You… you sent Andre?" I asked incredulous.
He nodded.
"But you couldn't! Strigoi can't control magic!"
He chuckled. "No we can't but some humans can!" He said mockingly. "I asked one of our… umm … partner, a psychic, to summon Andre and as undead I can see ghosts. I…." he shrugged again as to reduce the importance of what he had done. "I asked him to help me to keep you save, to keep you as far from us as possible. He agreed as I didn't want to have a Mikhail/Sonia situation but…." he groaned "he proved himself as useless dead than when he was a pompous royal."
"But… you wanted to keep me away because -" I started
"Because I knew that, if this day came, only one of us would make it out alive." He said coldly enough to raise goose bumps on my neck. "Or maybe none of us, who knows, and maybe, it's not that bad to come to terms with this whole situation after all."
How could I fight him? There was still a part of Dimitri inside of this evil creature. It was impossible!
"Well I have the option of turning you" he said nonchalantly. "But I know how much you hate the idea of becoming what I am even if honestly, it's not that bad but…. I love you too much to impose you that state."
"Where are you going with that?" I asked dreading to understand only too well where it was heading.
"I'm making you one in a lifetime offer Roza" he said all humor gone. "Join me" he said reaching out for me. "You just have to say one word and we'll be together forever because as much as I love you…" he shook his head. "I won't go down without a fight."
I looked at him for a couple of second taking aback. Only one question could decide me.
"One thing…" I said standing as straight as I could. "If I had any ways at all to reverse the process" I said trying to sound ambiguous. "Would you accept to come back to me?"
He looked deep into my eyes for a minute through narrowed eyes and shook his head. "No" he said sincerely. "I've got too much fun!! Being the sheriff is sooooo lame!! The outlaw has a lot more fun!" He added sincerely.
I sighed in defeat. My Dimitri was dead, I was sure of it now. I was coming first with my Dimitri…Always. Maybe some of the love he had for me did remain but it was soiled, sick and twisted now.
I felt like the stake at my belt was growing bigger and bigger like saying 'take me out and stake him damn it!! DO IT!!'
"So Roza… are you joining me?" He asked with a sardonic smile as he already knew my answer.
"It's join or fight right?" I asked trying to sound far more detached as I felt my heart breaking more and more that the seconds kept going. I will be trying to kill the love of my life in less than five minutes, I almost couldn't breath anymore.
"Well I could make a long speech but you've got the general idea." he said bowing his head slightly
I brought my hand to my belt. "So it's fight Dimitri because," I took the stake into my hand "I rather die than become Strigoi and the real Dimitri would have known that."
He laughed. "You're so brave! Stupid… but brave Roza. Like always." He smiled and took a defensive position. "That's why I love you; I wouldn't want you any other way!"
I tried to jump on him but he dodged me and I felt a sharp pain just under the right side of my jaw line. I brought my hand to it instantly and felt it was wet. He cut me with his nails, as sharp as a knife.
That's gonna leave an ugly scar I thought stupidly since, with an already pretty serious injury at my temple and the injury under my jaw I wouldn't stand one round against someone as lethal as him and I knew it.
I tried to attack him again, with all the despair I had, but this time, he had his hand around my neck before I even got a chance to blink and he kept my hand holding the stake locked tightly on my side.
"You're going to die Roza, but…." He looked almost pained by the fact "I know it's only a small consolation, but I will never forget you and a part of me will always be yours as small as that part could be. Ya bUdu vsegdA lyubIt' tebyA"
I closed my eyes and let some tears run quietly down my cheeks. I was about to die to the hands of the man I loved more than anything, the same man I would have given my life for. It was so ironic… almost epic!
In this instant, the little wooden door keeping us away from the main part of the warehouse, literally burst into flames letting the sun in. Dimitri was surprise enough to let go of my hand, and it was when, with the little strength I had left, that I drove the stake into his chest, straight to the heart.
I felt a sharp pain into my chest as if I was staking myself. He let go of my neck and I felt on my knees gasping for air.
I saw his body fall on the floor lifeless when…
"No!!!" I heard someone shout. Lissa? I thought as I was sure I was loosing my mind now.
But the suddenly bright light was blinding me and all I could make out were black shapes hurrying in the room.
The throbbing pain in my head was increasing and I started to feel colder and colder.
I could see one of the 'shape' run and kneeling beside Dimitri's body. And another came to stand in front of me.
"What are you doing? Come here!!" Shouted the voice that I was pretty sure was Lissa now.
What the hell is she doing here? I thought annoyed.
"Adrian!" She shouted with urgency. "We don't have much time left. Come on!"
Adrian? I was still kneeling down looking at the floor now.
"But... She'll get over it… Over him. She was strong enough to stake him" said Adrian and I made out he was the shape standing before me. "She'll get better. I… I can make her happy. We're not even sure it's going to work anyway!" He added the voice shivering.
"We have to try, we owe her that much!! And you have to move… NOW!" Lissa shouted. "Maybe it won't work but if you don't try she will never forgive you, do you understand? She'll hate you and I swear to god I'll make sure she knows it all."
I heard him growl and get away from in front of me.
The buzzing sound in my ears was getting louder and louder as the pain in my head was increasing to a point that it felt like my brain was about to explode. I also noticed that the blood was continuing to slowly drip from my injuries as I had my eyes on the little blood puddle forming.
How much blood does a human have? I thought now feeling the floor under my hands.
"She's hurt! Oreza take care of her" I heard someone yell but I couldn't recognize the voices anymore it was like I had cotton plugs in my ears.
I was numb now too; no more pain….Anywhere… Thank god! I just wanted to sleep for a while.
Someone kneeled beside me and tried to remove hair from my face.
"It's pretty bad! We need help now." Said the person that I imagine was Christian.
"Let me die" I whispered to him between two sobs as I just realized I was crying. "I don't want to live anymore I'm tired. Please, please let me die." I said breathless now feeling the cement floor against my cheek.
I gained redemption… I'm going to see my Dimitri again I thought closing my eyes.
"Never!" That's the last think I heard before everything went black.