Chapter 46 Mess

Bella POV

I couldn't stop crying I was a sobbing mess curled up on Sam and Emily's couch. even though both of them had no reason to be nice to me. I ruined Sam's relationship with his brothers and Emily I was nothing more than a bitch to her up until a week ago. I took in a deep breath trying to sooth my aching chest. The pain drifted away from a moment before coming back in full force.

I took in a deep breath, anything to pull myself together long enough to turn the connection between me and Paul back on. Before I could think twice about it, I was hit with all emotions like a wrecking ball. I pulled my legs tight to my chest soaking up his pain and anxiety framing tears to sleep my eyes as this burning pain racked my body. We both needed to do better than this.

But all I could do was cry, "Bella honey please stop." I look up to see Quil was giving me this worried look, some day for him to join the pack, I wonder if he knew that Embry is his brother. The thought of it only made me cry more. Paul would always make a joke saying him and Sam, and Jake weren't the only brothers in the pack anymore. Of course, that only made me cry more as Emily soothing voice tried to calm me down again. "Sweetie calm down you're going to make yourself sick like that."

I felt her place a gentle hand on the small of my back that force a jolt of electricity to go down my spine as my body seemed to be put at ease. Her warm and soothing presence almost made me feel better. But the thought of seeing Pauls look or pain and hatred that burn in his eyes 3 days ago was enough to tear the sons out of my throat. If I lost him there would be no point in going on. "Don't think like that, just take in a few deep breaths. I'm sure that the guys are coming back with him as we speak."

I nodded my head grateful that I had made up with her, she was really a good person and I needed to see that. I took in a deep breath and steady my nerves before uncurling my legs from my chest. I didn't feel like I would fall apart, but just in case I wrapped my arms around my chest just in case. I took in a few more deep breath before giving Emily this weak smile. Her wide gray eyes seem to focus on my face.

"Thank you, sorry again for being such a bitch to you and Kim, you have been kind to me even when you didn't need to." Emily nodded her head giving me a gentle smile before taking a breath in and smiling.

"Paul is a hothead and at times stubborn, but he loves you and this pack so I know the guys will be able to convince him to come back. So there is nothing for you to worry about." She sounds so sure of herself, sounded so strong that I couldn't help but nod along as she spoke.

"Anyway, why don't you help me start cooking so the boys have something to eat when they bring Paul back." I nodded my head slowly and made my way off of the couch, my feet shuffling lifeless against the hardwood floors as I made my way into the biggest room of the house. The large wooden black table shin in the fluorescent lights.

I took in a deep breath centering myself, he will come back I just have to believe that. After reassuring myself I went about the kitchen, while Emily fluttered around boiling noodles for the pasta. I stirred the sauce as I cut of tomatoes and peppers. I could hear what sounded like someone shuffling behind me that I knew had to be Quil. The guys thought that it would be a bad idea to take Quil for a number of reasons. The fist one begin that he isn't really friends with him anyway.

I sighed and turned around walking toward the fridge trying to ignore the cautious and wary gazes that he kept giving me. Instead, I looked in the freezer, the ice cold air hitting my skin but it felt good. It woke me up from my 24-hour crying daze. I'm sure that I soon I would have to call my dad.

I haven't talked to him in 2 days, Sam told me that he was fine and he saw him at the station workings hard. But he was livid that I hadn't come home, I had spent the past 2 days sleeping in Paul room waiting for him to come back and most recently crying my eyes out.

My throat was killing me and my voice was scratchy and horse from all the time that I spent sobbing. "Emily do you want to cook this chicken breast to we could make chicken parm. I know how to make it."

I looked up to see that Emily had a startled look on her face as she slowly nodded her head. I knew that my voice was horse but this was the first time I said more than a few words in a while. I shrugged it off and grabbed the chicken going to work defrosting it.

It had been hours since the guys left, the chicken parm and pasta were all made, sitting in the warm-up oven to keep it from going cold. We even had time to run to the store and grabbed some bread to go with it, and they still were back.

I was sitting mutely at the kitchen table with Emily, who was chatting about going baby shopping. I snapped my head up at that sentence. "I'm sorry what? Spill."

I knew that I wasn't much of a girly girl but this was something that I loved, I looked at Emily she gave me a surprised grin before tossing a glance over her shoulder. Like she was making sure that there is no one behind her. "I didn't think that you were paying attention but what I'm about to tell you stays between us."

I nodded my head Quil had left early to run a quick patrol since the guys were still gone. I smirked wide as she gave me this bashful grin. "Yeah, a couple of days ago I took a pregnancy test after I was late and it was confirmed. Sam and I are going to have a kid, you're going to be an aunt." I laugh and smiled wide at her as I felt this little tingle of joy fill my otherwise cold heart.

Emily's eyes light up with the prospect of being a mother, that is if we made it past this vampire shit. "Omg, have you guys told anyone else yet?" She grinned wide at me as she leaned in closer to whisper, just in case there were any prying ears.

"We told his parents of crouse but no one else in the pack knows. He wants to keep it a secret for all little bit, till the pack is back to normal and not snapping at each other."

I grinned at her and I got up and pulled her into a big hug "Congrats, I can't believe you told me." Emily shrugged it off before pulling me into a tiger hug. "I was bursting with joy when I found out. I know that if anyone would be happy for me it would be you.I know that it isn't your thing but can we got shopping in Seattle tomorrow. I know the guys won't let me go alone." I grinned wide at her nodding my head excited. "Of course regular shopping isn't my thing but I adore babies."

I grinned wide as she held me with her gray haze, her entire face lightening up with joy. That was when I felt it this tugging sensation in my heart. "What is that delicious smell." I snapped my head up to see that Sam was leaning against the wall this sly grin on his face as he looks at me and Emily get along.I could tell by the way that his dark eyes lit up that he was saying about time.

I smiled at him and as I got light headed did this mean that they changed his mind. "Well?" I looked up at Sam who pointed over his shoulder towards the exit. "Go see for yourself." I felt this wide grin formed on my face as I slammed the door opened to see Paul standing there bashfully as Jared jabbed him in his side. It felt like the breath in my body was stolen right out of my lungs as I ran at high speed into his arms.

Wrapping my arms firmly around the back of his neck as I tugged him firmly against me, at first he was frozen but soon his arms were wrapped around me tightly. "I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have stood by you, at least tried to understand what was going on in your head. I'm so sorry about everything that happened in Phoenix. I'm so sorry I wasn't there for you like you were for me….I'm..."

I started to cry as I hid my face in the crook of his neck. He let you a light sign that hit the back of my neck. Forcing a shiver to leave my lips as hi breath warmed my skin, but he started his finger through my hair pulling me a little closer to him. "It's fine I should have exploded like that, just don't ever turn our connection off ever again."

His voice softened as it filled with pain and his sadness was crippling as it hit me, was this how he had been feeling for the past 3 days how could I do that to him. I sucked in a large breath and hugged him closer to me. "I'm sorry I won't do it again." He let out a light chuckle before nodding his head slightly pulling out of the hug so that he could meet my gaze. His hazel eyes seemed to light up with joy as he too in a large breath of my scent."You really have been crying for a day that's not good for you Bella."

I frowned at him before slamming my lips against his, it was hard for a moment but his lips softened against mine as I melted into him. Into the kids, sucking the button of his lips every time he thought that he was getting away from me. Each time he would deepen the kiss as both our mind turn to mush.

"Do the two of you mind?" I knew that she was kidding by, the light joking tone but I could also feel this edge to Leah's voice like she was tired of watching us. Paul pulled back with a low growl and looked over to Leah who was growing at him like he just crossed some line.

I shook my head and jump out of hi grasp, settling for interlacing our fingers together. I belonged to his side and that was where I was planning on staying. I took in a deep breath clearing my head from the memories and feels from the past couple of days were looking towards Leah. Trying to give her my best welcoming smile though I doubt that it was good because she frowned at me before shifting to walk away from the house. Now there had to be something that I was missing.

"Come on it's time to eat, Bella helped cooked." I heard Emily's warm voice she yelled at the top of her lung so that the other shifters would pay attention "On that note, I'm leaving." I looked at Leah who was forwarding in the afternoon sun. The warmth that the sun felt nice but the humidity that went along with it was horrible.

"Come on Leah you have to suffer with me through Bella's cooking." I heard Paul joking tone so I took no offense but Leah shook her head no. "Just because I have to fight for her doesn't mean that I have to deal and see her on a daily basis. I'm going to run patrol come find me if Sam calls a meeting."

With that she shifted before running off, her wolf was gorgeous, I had to admit, gray with white and gold streaks on her face and behind her ears. She is so cute and so small compared to the others. I sighed and walker towards the house trying to pull Paul along with me. But he stood there like a stone statue.

"What is it." I liked up to see the worry in his eyes. He remind me of a wounded animals that I would find when we took hikes in the woods. "Nothing is just a small space and a lot of people in it." I frowned at him as I gently tugged on his arm. "Since when are you claustrophobic." He sighs and moved closer to me. "It's not the small space it's all the people, I got use to being in the woods alone, rather quickly so this many people. I'm a little worried I might phase."

I laughed and kissed his cheek gently "I got you, baby, I'm not leaving your side ever again, so don't worry about it okay?" I looked at him giving him a gentle once-over, his arms seemed thick and his legs more toned. Is it possible that he gain more muscle in these past 2 days? But Paul simply smirked at me like he knew that I checking him out before nodding his head and dragging me along with him.

The pack seemed to stare him down as he sat down at the table, but Paul didn't seem phased he started to talk to Jared for a few minutes were looking up to Emily. "Sorry about insulting your imprint, just thought that Leah had the right to feel the way she wanted. But I should have taken your feelings into account."

I heard Jake snap as he heard the tenderness in Paul's voice as he brought up Leah, but Paul didn't even turn to look at him. Almost as if he didn't care what Jake thought about him anymore. Emily looked at him too stunned to speak, but after a few minutes of silence, she gave him a sweet smile before nodding her head. I watched her hand plate out before moving the food onto the table. The guys dug in, I just nibbled here and there, I was too transfixed on Paul to eat.

The way that his jaw locked and unlocked as he chomped down on his good, or the way that he was staring intently down at his plate like he was lost in thought. The way that his hazel eyes seem to grow dark as something unpleasant or puzzling pope up in his mind. I just took in every detail staring at him wide eyes as he looked up at me his sly grin on his face.

"Are you watching me eat?" I felt this bright pink blush take over my pale skin as he laughed at me, kissing my temple gently as love flooded his eyes. "It's fine baby I'm not going anywhere." I nodded my head but there was a part of me that didn't believe him, all it took was a vampire or a big blow up fight like that. I don't think that I could take him walking out on me for a second time. "Where Leah?"

I looked up at the sound of Seth's gentle voice, I could see his eyes scanning the room like she would magically appear since he mentions her. He is so cute and so small he couldn't have been more than 14 maybe 15. The poor kid is way too young to lose a parent, well any age is way too young to lose a parent. His eyes drifted to me as I gave him my best calm down smile I could.

But his eyes seemed to shift to Paul for a burning in his gaze like he was ashamed that he didn't say anything in Paul defense when the pack bad mouthed him. "She said that she was going to run patrol, she didn't want to have to...uh sit here and look at you I'm sorry Emily that was just how she put it."

A silence fell over the table as Seth nodded to himself, shifting in his chair like I thought this was his fault. "Well it doesn't matter we have pack exercise to run, it's a good thing that she in the forest. If you guys are done, then run into the forest and phase and tell her that we are starting in 10." Jared nodded his head and before throwing me a sly grin. "I'll tell her I have to talk to Kimmy anyway."

He walked over to Paul clapping him on the back before running off to go talk to Kimmy, I took in a deep breath and Sam shifted his demanding glare to me. "You should head home Bella. This would make 3 days that you didn't go home. I can only keep your dad off of the rez for so long. He is beyond angry."

I nodded my head before turning to look at Paul, I didn't want to leave his side. But he simply gives me a light push and a gentle smile. "I'm not saying that I have to be the one to go but can we send a wolf with her just in case any more vampires are running around Forks."

Paul voice as so gentle and submissive it wasn't like anything that I had heard before, there is still his pride and anger in his voice but it didn't translate to his tone. It was like Paul wasn't even trying to push his buttons anymore. He wasn't the Paul we had all gotten used to.

"Yeah, that's fine..." Before Sam would say another word, Kimmy came running in the house. She scanned her golden eyes over each of us for a moment before they finally landed on me. "I can take her back and watch her back in the forest. I could use the break, that is if it is alright with you."

I looked up to see Sam frowning like he rather not let her look out for me, but as her eyes turned back to their topaz blue something in him seemed to have shifted."That fine everyone ready." Paul shifted to stand, giving Kimmy a look that I couldn't quite describe or understand.

It was mix between don't be rude and don't say anything stupid. But by the way that she scrunched up her nose and frowned she wasn't planning on listening to Paul. Sam saw the change too but he decided not to say anything. I watch each of them file out of the room till there was no one left but me, Emily and Kimmy. Kimmy gave Emily a gentle and inviting smile before turning her harsh blue gaze to me. "You ready to go."

I sighed and nod my head, I figured that she would be angry with me for not being on Paul side. But what did she expect me to do, if he was the kind of man that could easily have his mind swayed he wouldn't have left in the first place. I slowly rose from the table, briskly walking out of the house and jumping into the truck all in one swift motion.

The road was slick from the rain yesterday night,the sound of horns, beeping and honking as they passed by. I must have known them or something, maybe they were friends on their way to Seattle or Port Ange. Either way I honked back and shifted to look out of the drivers side window. Catching glimpses of gold fur as Kimmy weaved in and out of the trees.I don't know why she would volunteer to look after me if she hated me. But at the moment my eyes were drawn to the cop cruiser that was pulling up in the black paved driveway. FML

I know that he was going to be mad but by the way that his body shook ever so slightly I knew that he was past the point of anger. He was the physical manifestation of anger at this point and I don't think that I was ready for the screaming match we were about to get into.I took in a steady breath as I pulled the truck, my knuckles turning white about the amount of force I was using it hold onto the steering wheel.

My heart is hammering in my chest, threatening to jump out of my chest the moment that I wasn't looking. His hulking mass seemed to disappear into the shadows as he swung the door open. Not making a sound, not even looking at me even though I know he saw me pulling up to the house.

I took in a deep breath, clearing all my jumbled thoughts from my mind as I slowly got out of the car. I could see the golden light peeking out pass the drawn curtains. He was probably sitting in his recliner with a sneer on his face. I'm sure there was this cold beer in his tight grasp as he waited for me to walk in. Each step I took was smaller and slower than the one before it. Vampires I could deal with, new shifters that tried to kill me I could deal with. But my father in a fit of rage after being MIA for three days.

That was far scarier and harder to handle than any supernatural creature could ever be. I took in a deep breath as I noticed that I was standing numbly on the porch my hand curled around the knob. But I didn't have the strength to open the door, but after a few minutes of debating, I walked in the kitchen. Though I knew that he wasn't in there it was the best way to put this fight off.

As I walked in my dad was frowning at me, pulling a long draw from his beer as he looked me over coldly. His gaze sending scare shivers down my fine ass hoe eyes drifted from my head down to my feet. But he placed his beer on the end table and leaned forward as if he was getting ready to do something drastic.

"Daddy I..." I don't get a past that point, he held up a firm and rigid hand as his dark brown eyes seemed to turn a deep tar black. His eyes drifting from my face to my neck like he was looking for something. Maybe marks, or hickies, did he think that I was had a three-day sex vacation. I looked up at him as he rubbed his thumb against his temple.

"I don't even know where to being Bella, you don't tell me that you're leaving for La Push, you didn't tell me that you weren't coming home. Not even a phone call for the 3 days that you were missing. Did Paul put you up to this?" I snored but in a way, the reason I didn't come back was that of Paul but this wasn't his fault.

"There were some problems with his family he disappeared for a few days I stayed to help them look." He snarled gently as he shot up from his chair. "You couldn't take the time to call or text telling me that. Or hey I don't know call the police, which just so happens to be me." He took in a deep breath exhaling heavily as he rubbed his hand gingerly over his face then his hair.

He was a total dissolved mess, he must have gotten no sleep those three days that I went missing. Probably worrying himself sick and that was on me but he didn't need to take this out on anyone but me. "Sam told me that you were fine but he didn't mention Paul was missing. Did they find him?"

His voice didn't give way with concern like you might think, if anything he sounded angry that lied about more the one thing today. But I nodded my head mutely letting my gaze shift to the ground as he began to speak. "Good, at least I don't have to feel guilty about yelling at you. I can't believe that you would be so unreasonable, so stupid, Isabella, after everything that you have been through, that we have been through. I'm tired of these lies, of these Uley boys telling you to lie to me."

I stomped my foot on the ground angrily, enough he wasn't going to blame other people for my choice. He can think whatever he wants about me but Sam and his family don't force me not to call him so I wouldn't let him sit here and act like they did. "They didn't tell me to lie, they told me to go home or at least call you. I was the one that chose not to because I knew that you would blow it all out of portion."

He scoffed angrily as he brushed past me like I was nothing, making his way into the kitchen as if we were getting another bear. "Well, that makes it even worse you have people telling you that what you were doing was wrong and you kept going about it like there was nothing that needs to be changed. I can't even look at you I'm so disappointed."

It felt like my heart was about to leap out of my chest as adrenaline course through my veins causing my hand to shake. He couldn't even look at me let alone be in the same room as me and that broke my heart he was the only family I had left.

"Daddy?" I watched him turned around this will angry glowing in his eyes as he glared at me. "I'm going down to La Push to have talked with Paul's parents. From this moment onward your relationship with him is down. A 17-year-old girl shouldn't be out all hours of the night and a 17-year-old boy should not be able to disappear for 3 days and no one notice. Go to your room."

Those were the magic words, anger burned in my chest as tears blurred my vision who was he to tell me that I couldn't be near Paul. He had no idea what he was doing. "Fuck that no, you can't do this I love him and he loves me. I'm sorry if you don't get that but you have no say in who I do and don't date."

Charlie seems to snarl at me as he picked his keeps up, but as I looked closer at them I noticed that they were my keys. "Well now looks like the only way you are getting to La Push is by walking but you're not allowed to leave this house. Try me if you want, I'll drive down there and arrest that boy for something."

He couldn't be serious there was no way that he was going to fabricate a charge to keep Paul away from me. "Since you've been dating that boy your temper is worse off. Never mind that he makes you happy, and alive since your mother's death, he has also made you unhappy and giving you this "I'm better than you" attitude, which is getting on my nerves and I'm done with it."

"Go to your room and stay there, if I find out that you left. I'm arresting that boy and I sending you to boarding school." Before I could say a word he stormed out the house taking my keys with him. I waited till the car drove off before I fell to the ground and started to Paul, I couldn't lose Paul.