A.N: Hey Guys!! Thank you so much for the reviews!! I'm so pleased that I succeeded to convey the right emotions writing this chapter as it was very emotional for me to write too ( as this one was)

I just wanted you to know that I DID write the last chapter of this story and they are now with my fantastic beta. So well this story will count 23 chapters ( and maybe an epilogue…not sure yet.)

Anyways I'm also thinking about writing a story based on the Twilight series but it will be a total AR/AU and I posted a poll on my profile. Come check it out ( or if you don't want to vote just tell me if you rather Bella/Japer, Bella/Emmett or Either XD)

Anyways, I hope you'll enjoy this chapter.

Don't forget to review and tell me what you think!!

I love you guys!!

Take care

Steffy

Chapter 19:

I started to wake up slowly, my face still buried in Dimitri's neck. It was so strange that I felt safe and 'home,' even if he was lifeless.

I kept my eyes closed and my face in his neck. I kissed it softly, but of course it didn't trigger anything. And the little pain I felt gave away the fact that I hoped for this kiss to bring him back to me.

It was pretty freaking ironic, as now, that he had a beating heart and pulse he was more lifeless than he was as a strigoi.

I crooked my head to looked by the window as the sun started to rise. It was the beginning of the night in our world…this messed up world!

As I increasingly became aware of my surroundings, I felt a presence in the room. I closed my eyes and opened my sense wider. It was Lissa. She was sat across the room in the shadows watching Dimitri and I with a lot of different feelings. She felt heartbroken for me, but she also felt guilty and useless for not bringing him back just the way it was supposed to be.

I couldn't let her feel bad for that and how could I be angry with my best friend? She always did her best not to hide anything and even if I felt they were wrong to hide Dimitri's condition from me, I knew they did it with my interests at heart.

I slowly turned around not ready to break contact with Dimitri just yet. I smiled tentatively to Lissa.

"They sent you first huh?" I asked trying to sound as calm as possible. "Wow! Your boyfriend ain't that smart just now." I added with a sad chuckle.

I could feel a strong feeling of relief through our bond. She had been expected the worst. "Yeah… The big brave men sent the best friend, or former best friend I don't know." She said worriedly standing up. "They knew that I would be the only one you wouldn't try to harm physically."

I shook my head and stood up very softly even if it was silly to do so.

"You are my best friend and I thank you," I said opening my arms wide.

Lissa let out a sob and came crashing into my arms. "I'm sorry I failed! I'm so sorry I've let you down," she said sobbing on my neck.

I rubbed her back soothingly. "You didn't fail Liss. I swear you didn't."

"How… How… You are just saying that to make me feel better," she said sobbing.

"No I'm not!" I said realizing that I meant it. "My Dimitri is still in here somewhere and I know he will make his way back to me." I said and I knew deep down in my heart that I truly believed that. "You were powerful enough to do it. He was strong enough to survive the process and all the requirements were reunited. I mean what were the odds?"

Lissa shrugged, but I could feel that my speech was successfully convincing the both of us.

"We've got to keep faith. It's just too early to give up. I'm not giving up! You've got to believe with me." I said with a steady voice. I can't give up. I added to myself.

At this instant, my stomach growled loudly. Lissa broke our embrace and dried her tears with the palm of her hand.

"When did you eat last?" She asked with concerned.

"Ummm…breakfast?" I said sheepishly.

Lissa sighed and rolled her eyes. "Come on Rose, let's go and get you something to eat."

I turned around to look at Dimitri, as I was reluctant to leave him alone.

Lissa gently brought her hand to my arm. "He needs you to be strong Rose. Strong and healthy." She said nicely. "He'll need to have his Rose when he wakes up." She added taking my hand to pull me to the door.

I nodded, as I knew she was right. Plus, I needed a shower and I needed to have a word with her about the guardian issues, as I will remove my name from the list of potential guardians who would be assigned the week after graduation.

"And I need to inform the brave men that I'm still alive," she said trying to joke and I smiled really appreciating the effort.

"Come to my room," I said wrapping an arm around her waist. "I want to tell you something," I added nicely.

She nodded with a resigned look on her face, like she knew what I was going to say. But it was impossible…right?

We made it to the room and I told her to make herself at home as I needed to take a shower, but in fact, I needed the precious minutes to prepare my speech to her. I didn't want to hurt her more than I already did but it was mostly all the secrets that caused all those problems and I was sure that honesty was the best bet and should have been truthful since day one.

When I came back she had some coffee ready for me with a plate with a couple of donuts.

"I found that in your fridge… I think it's still good," she added grimacing with uncertainty.

"Yeah it's good," I said taking the plate and cup from her hand, kissing her cheek.

I sat on the sofa and patted the spot beside me.

She sat beside me and pointed to the black dressing bag.

"Did you check out the dress yet?" She asked with a smile.

"No, not yet." I said honestly. "Thank you for the present, but I got slightly…sidetracked to be honest." I said biting into a donut, as I didn't know what to add.

She nodded, blushing lightly. "I'm glad actually, so you'll have the surprise when you'll wear it for the graduation ball." She added with only mild excitation like if she was feeling something was coming her way.

I took a deep breath. "Yeah, speaking about graduation I--"

"You don't intend to be my guardian," she said simply locking eyes with me.

My mouth popped open with surprise. I never expected her to figure that out by herself and being so calm…so resigned about it. I just nodded.

She exhaled loudly and closed her eyes as she closed the door between our bond. I'm pretty sure she was trying to protect me.

It was my job…at least it used to be, I thought sadly.

"And who do you intend to guard?" She asked still trying to sound calm.

"Huh? Guard?" I asked really confused. "No one!" I added cocking my eyebrows with surprise.

"Oh," She looked down and even if I couldn't 'feel' her I could read the emotion on her face and it was a mix of confusion, surprise and relief. "I thought that you just didn't want to guard me anymore because…because you were too resentful."

"Excuse me?!" I asked so shocked and even a bit angry that she could even think something like that.

"Well...I…I just thought since everything that happened you know that you would rather part from me." She added this time not able to conceal the sadness in her voice.

"No Liss-" I sighed and hugged her tight. "No I would never do that. The only reason I wanted to be and still want to be a guardian it's you… Only you my Lissa." I said sincerely kissing her forehead. "You're my best friend, my sister!" I added breaking our embrace to look into her eyes, to show her I wasn't lying.

"You still want…me?" She asked like a child

"Of course silly, but I just need time." I said concentrating on my coffee again. "I need to spend some time on my own to think, to reassess everything." I took a sip. "That's why I'll still graduate and go to the big butt licking Queen party since I want her to like me a bit to give me a guardian spot beside you in the future," I said sticking my tongue out.

It made her laugh a bit and that made me feel good.

"No, I just need some time away you know, in the world." I shrugged slightly. "I'll contact you of course and I'll visit but…" I took a deep breath. "I am resentful you are right, but you are not concerned. I'm resentful of this society, tired of these rules and I'm just exhausted." I said shaking my head. "How am I supposed to be a good guardian under these circumstances huh?"

Lissa nodded and I could see she understood even if it was hard on her.

"I know you'll be safe here and you have two kick ass guardians who truly care about you." I said business like. "But just so you know…the only thing that this society did right was bringing you into my life." I said with emotion.

This time it was Lissa who hugged me. "We're going to be all right. Take all the time you need. Travel the world as long as you'll be safe. I'll wait for you. You're my Rose, you are my guardian," she said sure of herself.

"Yeah I am and thank you for understanding me." I said feeling a strong sensation of relief filling my body, as it was one of the chats I dreaded the most.

We talked a bit more. She promised not to say anything, as I only intended to tell Kirova after the ball. The names remained in the provisional list of designation a week after graduation, I would just ask her to get me out before the council meeting.

She was tired and I managed to send her back to her quarters.

"Oh, if you see Adrian tomorrow…" I said opening the door. "Tell him that I'll talk to him later and that we're ok." I added as I decided to let him off the hook. He still did some big things for Dimitri and I.

He had just been a drunken fool… I couldn't really blame him for that.

Lissa nodded hugged me once more and left.

I went to bed, but as soon as I closed my eyes I could only see Dimitri lifeless face.

I shook my head trying to get rid of this image. If anyone could pull out of it, it was him! He was a god! My god! And I'll help him, I thought over and over again 'til I drifted into sleep again, all these emotions did drain all the energy out of me.

As soon as I woke up, I dressed quickly, grabbed a cup of coffee and drank it while walking to the clinic.

I arrived just as the doctor and the nursing assistant left his room.

"Good morning Rosemarie," she said nicely but a bit uncomfortably.

"Hello" I said looking to both of them. "How is he doing?" I asked the hand on the door handle ready to open it.

"Still the same," she said with a sad smile. "But he is holding on," she added trying to bring some positive.

I nodded and went into the room.

I walked to the bed and kissed his lips softly and stroked his silky hair.

"Hello my love," I said sitting on the chair beside his bed and resting my head beside him.

"I know you can hear me," I said whispering to his ear. "I know you're still somewhere inside. I don't know what keeps you lock up, but you have to come back to me. How I'm supposed to face the rest of this life knowing that you're on this bed huh?" I started to stroke his hair. "You remember your promises to me don't you? You said you would never let me, that you'll be always here for me." Tears started to fall quietly down my cheeks. "It's time to make good on your promises, I'm here now and I need you. I love you so, so much I can barely breathe."

I took a deep breath and kissed the hollow behind his ear. His skin was so warm, he felt so alive.

"I know you are strong enough, our love is just strong enough." I brought my hand to his face. "Take my strength if you need it. I give it to you. Just talk to me…" My voice started to quiver. "Just a word, anything to show me that you are fighting your hardest to come back to me. Give me something to believe in. I'll do anything to have you back I just need a little help. You healed me so many times…in so many ways…" I took a deep breath. "Let me heal you now. Be vulnerable and I'll patch your heart. I'll save you just the way you saved me."

I just rested there for a while humming for him some of his favourite songs. I tried to keep the negative thoughts as far away from my head than I could, but I couldn't help to ask myself what I would do if Dimitri never came back to me and the agonizing pain I felt in the centre of my chest gave me the answer to that.

No, it's impossible. Dimitri has to come back to me. He just has to. I deserved it! We deserved it! I thought drying my tears. Our love is powerful, pure…unique. We sacrificed too much. We fought and won the right to be together. I didn't know if there was a God above, but if there was…he couldn't keep us apart! Not after all this! Not after all the things we overcame to be together.

I stayed a couple of hours more before walking back to my room for a while. I needed a break from all this, it was just eating me up inside.

I saw Adrian leaving the guest pavilion.

"Hey!" I shouted to attract his attention.

He turned around and blushed slightly. He was as uncomfortable as possible and stood there really awkwardly.

I jogged to him and when I arrived in front of him, I did something that I was pretty sure he didn't see coming.

I hugged him tightly. "Thank you for your help." I said sincerely breaking the embrace. He was so shocked that he didn't even hug me back.

"I… It's…Well…". He blurted still shocked.

"I… Do you have a minute? I'd rather talk to you in private." I said pointing to the building behind us.

Adrian nodded and followed me to my room without a word as I was trying to word my thoughts in silence.

As soon as we made it, I started to talk while fidgeting with my hands. "I don't care of the reasons why you helped," I said sincerely. "The important thing is that you did do everything possible and I owe you a lot. More than you can comprehend and you are a great friend very dear to my heart."

"I'm sorry about what I said the other night," he said the eyes full of sadness. "I messed up everything between us and for that I'm sorry." He took a deep breath. "I hurt you freely and it's unforgivable." He said ashamed.

"It's not unforgivable Adrian. I swear it's all forgiven," I said looking deep into his eyes to show him I meant it. "I don't think it was wrong in fact, and…I'm the one who is sorry." I said taking his hand.

"Sorry? Sorry for what?!" He asked taken aback.

"Sorry for making you worried, for hurting you, for making you a promise I knew I couldn't keep." I said squeezing his hand. "I could never give you my heart since it's not mine to give anymore." I bite my bottom lip. "It had been stolen a long time by the man lying in this hospital bed and…he is the love of my life Adrian. I'm sorry."

I saw the pain in his eyes but there was also resignation. "I know that and I'm resigned or well... I'm trying to resign myself and you can't choose who you love right?"

I shook my head. "No you can't," I whispered.

He walked up to me and kissed my forehead. "Everything will be alright. He will come back to you I'm sure of it."

I rested my forehead on his chest as he rested his chin on the top of my head.

"How can you be so sure?" I asked really in need of every bit of hope I could collect.

"It's impossible to even imagine the contrary. For you, I'm pretty sure anyone would even manage to get out of hell." He said seriously. "He'll find his way back to you…no matter what obstacle he will have to face. You deserve your happy ending and we all need to see this story have an happy ending."

I smiled, but didn't say anything. I really had amazing friends and it was maybe the only area of my life that was blessed.

What Adrian said to me didn't stand on any rational ground, but it still felt so good to hear especially coming from him as I knew it was hard for him to say those words.

"Thank you…" I said really grateful.

"Anytime little dhampir…anytime" he said kissing the top of my head again.