A.N:

READ FIRST So I decided to remove the M part from this chapter because well it is maybe (not sure) not soft enough ( expect the unexpected will have a softer M part that will remain in the chapter) SO I decided to post the original version of this chapter in a one shot.

So anyways it's your choice, here is the T version or you can check the M.

Thanks to all my reviewers! As you know there is only one chapter left after this one and it has been a blast to write this story will people like you to support me all the way.

Don't forget to review!!

Hugsies

Chapter 22:

"So…" I said tightening my grip around Dimitri's waist as he had his arm around my shoulder. "You wanted to talk?" I asked slightly worried about what he was about to tell me.

We were taking a small walk at the back of the clinic building, taking some fresh air. It has been two days now that he was awake and we started to spread the news that Dimitri was back, back as a full dhampir.

Yesterday both Lissa and Adrian were received by the Queen and they were going to work a full report (like a complete book) for the Court on the 'Strigoi State reversion'.

There was no need to hide Dimitri anymore and he did his puppy eyes when he asked me to go and take some fresh air. His steps were still a bit stiff but I didn't mind helping him, just being against him was pure bliss.

I helped him to a bench, kissed him quickly and sat beside him straddling the bench.

I forced a smile as I started to seriously worried about what he was about to say.

He looked straight in front of him, but I didn't think he was looking at something in particular, I think he was just considering what to say and how to say it. I kept my eyes locked on his perfect profile.

As he remained silent, my heart rate increased as I didn't know what to expect.

"You know Roza since I came back…I'm not…I'm not the man I used to be." He said calmly still staring ahead. "There are some things I can't do anymore."

What? WHAT?!!! I thought, breathing with trouble. Does he mean that he can't be with me anymore? No, no that can't be!! He loves me!!

I guess Dimitri heard my ragged breathing as he turned a questioning look to me. A flash of understanding crossed his face. "It has nothing to do with us Roza!" He said rapidly to calm me down. "One thing will never change and that's how much I love you. How much I want you and how I want us to be together."

I took a deep breath and nodded with an apologetically look on my face. He took my hand and held it tight.

"No. The problem is that… Well, I guess it is linked to you to some extent" he said kissing my hand. "You know when I was…a Strigoi," he said in a breath and I realized how it was hard for him to talk about it. "Well, in spite of everything, I loved you so much! I was still inside somewhere, I didn't care about many things but when I saw you in that tunnel I swear my silent heart beat once. I was so scared to see you die that my 'real' instinct took over and I protected you instead of protecting them." He said at once.

I squeezed his hand showing him my support.

"I'm pretty sure there are other strigoi like that and I don't know…if I could ever be the same guardian as I was before this… Killing them would be a lot harder," he added shameful.

"Aww Dimitri," I said kneeling on the bench hugging him while resting my chin on top of his head. "It's ok… It's just fine." I added so relived it was just that. "You just need time. WE just need time." I added stoking his cheek relaxingly.

"I wanted to travel for a while you know…" He shrugged slightly. "And I know it's selfish, but I don't think I could handle it, be at peace if you are not beside me." He said turning his head slightly to kiss my throat.

"I'll go wherever you will go," I said then realizing it was a song title but the instant was too emotional to make me chuckle.

"What about Lissa? Your guardian role?" He asked worried. "I feel selfish to ask you to leave everything to go away with me, but I know I'll do it," he said against my throat. "Because I know I can't go anywhere where you aren't Roza."

I kissed the top of his head. "I already had the intention to give up my guardian role for a while Dimitri," I said soothingly. "I love you. That's as simple as that. I want to go with you I want us to be selfish for a while, live just for us…enjoy what we have to the fullest."

He looked up as I leaned in to meet his lips.

"I want to take you to Russia I want you to meet my family…" He smiled. "I want you to visit the… How did you call it?" He thought for a minute. "The 'desert wasteland' ?" he chuckled.

I decided to play along and smile cheekily. "Don't worry I don't mind… As long as I'm with you."

"So…you… You're coming?" He asked with hope in his eyes.

"I'll follow you anywhere." I said kissing him again but as soon as my lips touched his, he brought his hand up and deepen our kiss and boy it was good.

After a little while we parted as be both needed air. I rested my forehead against his and looked into his eyes.

"You think your family will like me?" I asked slightly worried.

"They're going to be crazy about you Roza!!" He said sincerely. "You're so unique! Kashka is the hardest in the family and she loves you as her own sister. It's a done deal!!" He added with a chuckle.

I sniggered too. "Well your mother will be here in 3 days so I'll see then" I said trying to sound cool but I was so worried that she wouldn't like me knowing what an important role she played in his life.

He seemed to read into me as he did so many times before. "She is going to love you Roza…I promise she will." He said rubbing my arms.

"Yeah…" I said still unconvinced. "Well, let's go back in," I said standing up reaching for him.

"It's ok Roza I can walk just fine," he said standing up without help. "I just loved having your body so close." He added wiggling his eyebrows to me.

I really had to laugh at that one. "You really don't need to trick me for that." I said walking to him and hugging him tight. "I love being against you as much as you do."

He smiled. "My Roza….my life," that's all he said.

We walked hand in hand back to the clinic. We met two or three guardians along the way. They greeted us politely but they couldn't hide their surprised look and they saw our fingers entwined. It was true that knowing about something was really different from seeing it first hand.

_____________________________________________

The next day, when I arrived into Dimitri's room I couldn't help the feeling of panic when I noticed that his bed was empty, but I calmed down almost straight away when I heard the water running in the bathroom.

I shook my head and exhaled loudly. I was so scared to lose him again… No I wasn't scared, I was terrified. I was incapacitated just at the thought of that.

I closed the door of the room and walked slowly to the bathroom door as an idea was forming in my head. More I was thinking about it, the more my heart rate was accelerating and my cheeks were getting red but I wanted, no, no I needed to be with Dimitri again. To connect like we connected that night in the cabin in what seemed to be a century ago.

I took my clothes off and, as I tiptoed to the shower door, I couldn't help but feel self-conscious. I knew he already saw me naked a couple of times before, but I couldn't help to dread the rejection. What if he didn't want me now?

I swore to myself that I wouldn't take it badly, as he probably still needed time, but I knew deep down that it was a lie.

I took a deep breath and slowly opened the door and had a clear view at his spectacularly muscular back streaming with water.

[M PART CUT OUT. CHECK THE ORIGINAL VERSION ONE SHOT IF YOU WANT TO READ IT]

We finally made it out of the shower, dressed up with happy and peaceful smile on our faces.

We got out of the bathroom laughing, hair wet, but I was thinking I could justify it by the rain outside if anyone showed up in the next hour or so.

But, as soon as we got out of the bathroom, my laugher died in my throat. Kashka was there with a little smiled playing on her lips. There was no way she didn't hear us with her enhance dhampir hearing! But it wasn't the worse, Kashka I could handle it was the woman standing beside her that I had trouble to look into the eyes. I was wishing that the ground would open up and swallow me.

She was looking at us with slight embarrassment, but she was also pleased to see us so tightly connected.

Dimitri, possessively, wrapped an arm around my waist and smiled his brightest smile. "Mama… This is my Roza," he said leaning in to kiss the top of my head.

Dimitri's mother!! She was 2 days early!! I finally looked up to meet her eyes. She looked very pleased and genuinely happy to meet me.

"It's very nice to meet you Roza. I've heard so much about you," she said standing up giving me a warm hug. "I couldn't wait to meet the love of Dimka's life." She said taking my hand and Dimitri's and placing them in both of hers.

"It's a really pleasure to meet you Mrs. Belikov," I said trying to calm myself and trying to pretend she didn't hear what just happened in that bathroom.

"Please call me Irina." She said warmly. "Anyone brave and in love enough to risk her own live to keep a promise made to my son has a special place into my heart." She added so nicely that it tightened my chest. She then concentrated her attention on her son. "I'm so happy to have you back my Syn. It was like going through hell when I thought I lost you." She added sadly. She then quickly glanced at me. "You chose well. You gave your heart to the person who gave you hers in total confidence. Take care of her, protect her heart."

"I will mama… I'll love her till my last breathe." He said locking eyes with me.

"And even beyond that." I said out loud without realizing it.

"And even beyond that," he confirmed in a whisper.

Dimitri let go of me to hug his mother.

"Well… I'll…go for now," I said still so embarrassed.

"Yeah. I need you to help me pack," said Kashka reaching for my hand.

"Yeah!!" I said taking her hand eagerly making Dimitri chuckle.

"I'll see you later my Roza," he said leaning down to peck my lips which made me blush.

"Yeah…that makes her blush!" mumbled Kashka as I glared at her.

"It was nice to meet you Mrs. Belikov." I said timidly.

"Irina," she said cheerily.

"I'll see you later." I said looking into her brown eyes that was as far as I was concerned the Belikov trademark.

She smiled brightly.

As soon as we made it outside I playfully slapped Kashka arm.

"You could have told me your mother was coming earlier!" I told her still mortified. "I mean come on!!"

"Why?" She asked walking beside me. "You would have restrained yourself from doing a remake of the very famous porn 'Hot Shower' with my brother?" She asked pursing her lips very hard not to laugh.

I stopped dead on the path the mouth wide open.

She stopped to stare at me laugher in her eyes. "I mean you've got a voice girl! Ever considered a career in music? Well, now I know that you guys are compatible on every level."

"Oh god…" I groaned imagining what their mother was thinking about me right now. "I can't believe your mom heard us…"

"Rose, I think even a deaf would have heard you two!" She said regretting it when she saw the level of embarrassment. She put her arm around my shoulder and resumed walking. "Ehhhh chill. It's not that bad." She said finally chuckling.

"Oh, yeah?" I asked sarcastically. "What could be worse than meeting the mother of the man you love after she heard you go at it with all you had huh?" I asked rhetorically.

"Well… She could have seen you?" Tried Kashka, laughing even harder.

"So not helping here…" I said pouting as we walked into Kashka's room.

"Yeah, I know I'm sorry I stop," she said but she still had laugher in her voice. "Ummm, just a question before dropping the subject."

I nodded warily.

"For research purposes, what was the position you guy choose? Because you two seemed to enjoy it… a lot." She added with a wink.

"You'll pay for that!" I said feeling my cheek burning red as I threw her a sofa cushion which she dodged easily.

"You better hurry up then I'll be gone tomorrow," she said suddenly sullen.

It stopped me in my track and I looked at her with a smile.

"I'll miss you," she said sincerely. "I really enjoyed having you around" she said uncomfortably.

"Well, I won't miss you," I said sincerely.

She looked at me with both hurt and shock.

"Well, since I'll be in the same plane as your mother next week." I said nonchalantly.

"What?!" Asked Kashka with a wide smile.

"Yeah," I said chuckling. "Dimitri and I have decided to flight with your mother and to spend some time with you guys in Novosibirsk." I said thanking god I learned the name by heart.

Kashka walked up and hugged me tight. "And, how long will you stay?" She asked curiously.

I shrugged. "We don't know yet… 1 month, 2...We'll see." I said with a smile. "As long as we're together…."

"Don't worry they'll love you!! All of them!" She said not teasing anymore. "You will conquer them all." She added winking.

"Even Ba'booshka?" I asked teasingly.

"Especially Ba'booshka!" She said putting her hands on my shoulder. "Believe me, she is not that terrifying."

I nodded, feeling even more eager to go away with Dimitri. I was already super excited as he said we'll be staying on our own. Just the two of us…Wherever we were… it would be Heaven on Earth.

Our little group was already aware of this trip as I told them the night before just after Dimitri and I decided to go for a while.

They were totally happy with that and I even think Lissa was rather relieved that I was going away with my big bad Russian boyfriend to keep me safe

I promised to come back and for the first time in a very long time I knew I would.