A.N: Hi guys!

Here chapter 2. Sorry it's a bit short but I spent the week end sending query letters for my novel…74 of them to be exact. I managed to finish it mainly because of the supports of some of you that have been supporting me since the start of my fanfiction adventure. You guys had a great impact. And I know that, even if I cannot find an agent, I don't totally suck and if I know that it's because all of your support so thanks again….for everything.

Chapter 2:

The first week of school had been awkward, but I presumed it would have been the same for anyone starting in a new school senior year. Not that I could know what high school really was about.

Even if I was not ready to admit it, I was glad Jill was here to sit with me at lunch. I could see she was attracting male's attention a lot, but I guessed it was because she fitted, what us humans, considered like being the supermodel standards. Extremely tall, very think with the absence of forms…like that Kate Moss girl. Moreover, Jill had that innocent quality, an angel's face…which seemed to be quite an ironic feature on a creature of the night even if she probably was the gentler sweetest person I ever met…humans included.

I told her a couple of time to go sit with her new friends, I selfishly didn't want her to but It was not fair to hold her back either. She replied that she was just fine with me which I knew was mainly because she didn't want to leave me alone. The sophomore comforting the senior….

The more time, I spent with her and Eddie, leaving Adrian aside; the harder it was to see them as creatures of the night. The alchemists punishment was most likely going to blow up in their faces. They wanted to punish me for siding with Rose by sending me to live amongst her people, but what would happen when I'll get paroled? What if I was even closer of these people than I was before? Could I ever go back to despising them? Could I pretend well enough?

The only real positive thing here, were the AP science classes. It was true that, even those classes were not that challenging for someone like me, and what I meant by that was…how challenging could a class be for someone who knew Dmitri Mendeleev periodical table of elements before being five? However, it was still interesting, and it somehow made me feel better to excel at something as it seemed that I was only good at failing these days.

I was glad when Sunday came, and I got ready for church. Church was always my haven, where I was closer of God. Maybe he could give me a sign…anything to let me know I was doing well, following the right path.

I was tiptoeing around the house trying not to wake anyone up. They might live in the human world now, but they would always be night creatures, and I didn't mean that in a bad way…it was just a fact.

Apparently they were not all sleeping as I was about to leave when Ivashkov walked in. I wrinkled my nose to the strong smell of cigarette and alcohol. There was even a suspicious stain on his shirt, that looked a lot like vomit, but I didn't want to linger on that one. That guy was a mess. I did feel a little bit bad for him at first, when Rose broke up with him, but this empathy faded a long time ago. It was like he was only good on finding excuses to fall even deeper in his destructive habits.

"Hey! Where are you going?" He asked way too loudly.

"Shhhh! They are still asleep. Don't go around waking them up!"

He still stood under the threshold…well 'standing' was probably an overstatement. He was leaning against the door frame for support, blocking my exit.

"You are not supposed to get out at night unprotected, it's the rules Lisa instaured before we moved here."

He snorted with a hiccup…it was one special noise. "You are always following rules aren't you little girl?" He sneered. "Like a brave little soldier… and I don't follow rules, she is not the boss of me."

"Well actually she is; she is your queen."

He rolled his eyes. "Does it mean you are worried about me?"

It was my turn to snort. "Hardly, I just don't want you to mess things up; forcing more guardians on us….living with the three of you is enough." I looked at the clock; I would have to rush to make it on time now.

"Expected somewhere?" He asked, staggering still blocking my way.

"To church" I replied reluctantly knowing he would probably bash my faith once again.

He moved out of the way. "I wouldn't deprive you of such an appointment. I mean you have one with God…that's something. Try to pray for my soul too, if you have the time, okay?"

"You'll need to have one first for me to pray for it." I grabbed my bag, red with anger. "And even if you had one, no prayer in the world could save it now." I added before leaving.

I made it to church with just a couple of minutes to spare. I settled in the back pew closing my eyes, letting all my stress and anguish leave me trying to think to only the love I had for God.

I listened to the priest words keeping my eyes close, letting his words of peace, love and compassion fill me. I knew I was not very compassionate sometimes, maybe I should try to be nicer with Ivashkov, and he was just weaker…with no strong constant in his life.

Please God tell me what to do? How could I be more compassionate? Give me a sign. I thought as the mass ended.

"You are Sydney…Sage right?" Asked a deep, rasping, voice as I stood up to leave.

I turned around to meet some grey eyes. I was surprised as the voice seemed to belong to a lot older man, but the young man standing before me. He couldn't be more than 20.

"Who's asking?" I asked suspiciously. We might have been in a church, but I learned in the last few months that nothing was sacred and that nobody was safe.

He chuckled burying his hands in his jacket pockets. "You are not very good for a guy ego, do you know that?"

I detailed him; the jacket he was wearing was white and blue with the symbol of our school sport team on the left of his chest. He was tall…well, not as tall as a Moroi, but probably as tall as Eddie…6'0'' or just above. He was pretty wide with light brown hair and tanned skin. He was good looking and probably a jock from our school…Why did he even talk to me? I might not have been fully aware of high school social customs, but I did read enough to know that this kind of people didn't mix with my kind of people.

"I'm sorry I…" I exited the pew to walk outside the church, as it not really the place to socialize.

He smiled with a slight shrug. "I'm just teasing you; it's good for once not to be recognized. I'm in your class in English lit and French. I'm Matt Gardner…"

I still looked at him, still clueless.

"Wow, are you for real?" He asked, and I could see he was trying to figure if I was playing him or not. He seemed happy with what he saw as he continued. "I'm the quarterback of the football team."

"That's….nice?" I tried. The sun was blinding me, and it was too hot, I just wanted to get home. "Well it was nice meeting you Mike but…"

"It's Matt."

"Sorry Matt I…"

"Do you have time to go for a coffee or something?" He asked, pointing at the Starbucks across the street.

"Not really…Do you need anything?"

"Well my sister is in class with your cousin Jill and…"

Ah now I got it…one more boy that tried to approach me to get with my 'cousin' "Yeah….I'm sorry, but I can't help you with that. Jill is very…independent and we are not so close, maybe asking your sister to help you out would be better, but I do think she is a bit young. Well, see you Mike." I was going down the stairs when he caught my wrist, and that was then that I wanted to be Rose, and do the super kick I saw her do a couple of time.

"It's Matt, and I think you misunderstood what I wanted to ask you."

"Please let go" I said looking at his huge hand around my wrist.

"Sorry" he mumbled letting, and I couldn't help to feel a tiny bit guilty at the look of defeat on his face.

I sighed heavily. "What do you want?" I asked, trying not to sound as exasperated as I felt.

"Well my sister was talking with your cousin and apparently you are in the school all AP science classes."

I nodded.

"Well you see, I have a horrible time with chemistry, and I really need to have, at least, a passing grade to get the scholarship I want to play ball. I was worrying all morning, and my parents…" he pointed to the black BMW car that was leaving the car park. "Suggested me to get a tutor, and when I saw you at the end of the mass, I took it as a sign."

I opened my mouth to tell him no, that I had no patience and didn't know anything about tutoring, but if he took it as a sign…maybe it was one after all. I asked God to help be more compassionate, maybe I had to help him.

"I'll help you."

"Really?" He asked with a huge smile.

I nodded.

"Oh that's just so awesome! Thanks! You are saving my life! "

He reached out to hug me, but I raised my hands to stop him. I didn't like contact really…it was just making me awkward.

He blushed, and it seems odd on such a big guy…but it was strangely cute too. "Sorry I'm just so….relived."

"It's alright."

"Do you mind meeting me after school on Monday?"

"I…I don't know about that. I need to see with someone first, but I'll tell you that on Monday okay?"

"You have to see that with him?" He asked, pointing behind me.

Eddie was in the car, window down. With his dark sunglasses, he looked a lot like a secret service agent.

I frowned not liking the idea of him coming here; it was as he was intruding in my private moment.

"I have to go, see you Monday Mike." I said waving dismissively to him.

I heard him shout "it's Matt!" as I settled in the car with Eddie.

"What are you doing here?"

He shrugged. "Jill has some homework to do, Ivashkov is…out, and it's sunny and warm outside. I wanted to know if you wanted to do something for a while."

I looked at him suspiciously; it was not as we were friends or anything. "Why?"

He took off his glasses and smiled. "Why not? It's not like we have too many friends here, and the people we live with are slightly intolerant to sun."

"I guess…" I trailed off.

"Plus we're stuck together for at least a year; why not try to make the best of it ant give friendship a try? Rose and you are friends, right? She and I are too so, why not give, you and I, a try?"

Hearing him say 'You and I' made my stomach flip, sending all my senses in alert, but I knew it was stupid. It was Eddie, the guardian.

"I wouldn't say 'no' to an ice cream" I admitted.

He grinned getting the car in gear. "SO an ice cream it is."

"So what was that all about"? He asked as we settle at the terrace of the ice cream parlor just by our apartment building.

"What are you talking about?"

"The boy at church…" He winked. "You looked pretty cozy."

"That was nothing" I replied, blushing, concentrating on my chocolate cone.

"It didn't look like 'nothing'" he added cheekily.

"It was nothing. I'm- I'm just going to tutor him in chemistry."

He winked. "Oh yeah…you'll tutor him in chemistry alright."

"I…just bite me!"

I had to admit that I did enjoy my time out with Eddie even if I didn't tell him. I never had friends; I didn't feel like I needed or wanted friends in the life I had before. You couldn't really crave for something you had never known. My life had been filled with science and alchemy. It seemed as enough at the time, until I met Rose. Rose could be seen as the stellar opposite of me. She was as hot blooded as I was cold. She was following her heart; I was always going with my head. She was never thinking enough; I was always thinking too much and I couldn't help but envy slightly the person she were. People were ready to die for her, as for me, my own parents let me go with shame in their eyes.

Adrian had been right I didn't mean much…to anyone.

When we came home, I settled in bed with a good book hoping to get a nap when my phone rang.

"HI friend! How is life in LA?" Rose asked cheerily.

"Well…at least I'm in America. How is life for you there?"

"Life is good, Lisa is really getting into her Queen role, and I really enjoy being a royal guard." I could hear the grin in her voice. "How are the others doing?"

"Jill is doing well, she is getting settled pretty well, but after a week, it's hard to tell. Eddie is Eddie, nothing different here."

"Are you settling?"

"Of course, I am. Integration is easy." I didn't need for her to feel bad for me; I didn't need for anyone to feel bad for me. I made my choice; I had to live with the consequences.

"How…" The words caught in her throat and I knew what she wanted to say.

"He is well Rose, he is recovering. He is still an ass, but he is healing." It was a lie, a big fat lie, and I knew it was going against everything I believed in, but it was a white lie. I was doing it because she needed to let go of her guilt. It was not as she could do anything about it now. I may not have been in love yet, but I knew you couldn't chose who you loved. Rose loved Dimitri; it was an evidence each time they looked at each other. Staying in a relationship with Adrian, would have hurt him a lot more in the long term, even if he was too mad and hurt to figure it out.

"Really?" She asked, and I could hear she didn't buy it. "Are you trying to be nice and spare my feelings?"

I snorted. "Did I ever do that? I don't care about that…you're not a pretty pretty princess."

She laughed at that. "Who want to be princess when you can be a warrior?" She took a deep breath. "I'm glad he is getting there."

"Yeah…." I bit my bottom lip; there was only so much lying I could do. The knock on my door was the perfect pretext. "Listen Jill is here, she maybe needs help with her homework I'll call you soon okay?"

"Okay, you take care of you, and I'm sorry…again…for everything."

"What's done, is done Rose. It's never productive to look back. Bye."

"Bye."

"Come in!" I said not bothering to move from my spot on my bed. However, I jumped when I saw it was not Jill entering but Adrian.

"What do you want?" I asked, self-conscious. I never had a boy in my room except for Ian, but he was a bit like a brother.

Adrian looked around silently like if he wanted register everything I had in my room.

"What do you want?" I repeated, crossing my arms on my chest.

"Do you really think that Moroi have no soul?" He asked, meeting my eyes.

"I…What?" I asked confused.

"This morning you said—"

"I said YOU had no soul, I didn't generalize."

"Yeah…" he looked at my black and white poster of Einstein sticking his tongue out for a minute. " Do you really think that?" He asked still looking at the poster.

"It's not relevant what I think." I shrugged. "Nobody cares about what I think, you told me so yourself." "But no…I do not think you have no soul. We all have a soul." That was something that changed too; I have been raised, thinking that the dhampirs and Moroi didn't have a soul but I had seen goodness, selflessness, generosity and love in them…how could they experience all that if they didn't have a soul?

"Do you really think I'm beyond redemption?" He asked and I could see sadness in his eyes.

Did I hurt him? It was not possible! That guy was too drunk and cocky to get hurt.

"Do you think that's why she left me?" he asked, his voice cracking slightly and I realized he was hurting a lot more than I could imagine.

"No I don't think she left you for that. It had nothing to do with anything you are or anything you do." She just loves another who is just PERFECT for her I added to myself.

"What about redemption? You really think I'm a lost cause, don't you?"

I looked at him silently for a second not knowing what to say. I had two persons in me, two opinions battling to get. I just needed to compromise.

"I think there is no lost cause. It's never too late, only death can stop you from becoming the person you want to be."

He nodded silently burying his hands in his pockets. "Thanks" he said in a whisper before exiting the room and closing the door silently.

I felt something in my chest and cursed myself. Damn I was feeling bad for him again! I'll help you get better I swore silently to the door. You'll heal; I swear you will.