This chapter is late and I know it ! I'm really sorry but I hit some kind of writer block. I knew what I wanted to write but couldn't get the sentences right once I start tipping them. That and school.

This chapter is actually ( in my opinion, at least ^^) a bit less angsty. I didn't even want it to be like this but once I started writing the second part of it... It became fluffy... So yeah. Bear with my fluffiness for the second part of this chapter ^^ ( the first part hurts, don't worry my fellow masochists.)

Once again I want to thank every readers who took some time to leave a comment, it's really heart warming and it helps keeping me motivated and in the right mood to write ! I'm sorry I'm taking this long to write each chapters as I know the suspense is killing a whole lot of you ^^ I hope you'll stick with this story though !

PS : Thanks to TigerMii who beta-ed this chapter ! Don't forget to check out her fanart ant tell her how lovely Ace crying is, comments are deeply appreciated, really ^^ ( You can find the link at the top of chapter 10 on Archive of Our Own.)

Don't forget to check out the amazing fanarts drawn by lorena too ! And don't forget to leave a review ! ;)

NB: if you want to draw more fanarts for this fic, i'm all for it ;)

Chapitre 11: Baby steps

"He thinks Ace cheated on him! Can you believe it ?" Izo cried out, pacing in the room madly. "Is he stupid ? Does he really think that ?"

Thatch was sitting on the couch in their living room, nursing a cup of coffee and looking at his lover with a worried expression on his face.

Izo's argument with Marco left him fuming. He couldn't fathom how obtuse, how stubborn his brother could be. Ace cheating ? It wasn't possible ! Izo had talked to Ace not long ago and the young man had been truly surprised hearing that Kid had feelings for him. Ace was still so very much in love with his foolish brother... And Marco was still in love with Ace too ! How could they not see this ? Well, their interactions hadn't been the best as he had understood from Marco's explanation... There was too much bad blood between them... too much things that were left unsaid. Izo was convinced that, had they talked back then, nothing would have happened...

Flopping on the couch next to his lover, he moved closer to him, nearly lying on Thatch's torso. He breathed deeply and the scent of his lover calmed him slightly.

"I'm sorry to be so short-tempered tonight." He apologised, a pout forming on his face. "But I mean... cheating? ... Ace ?"

Disbelief was clear in his tone.

"No need to apologise, love. I'm as worried as you..." His lover replied, running his fingers through Izo's hair in a soothing gesture.

Upon returning home, Izo had explained everything that had taken place at Marco's to Thatch, throwing his hands in the hair in frustration every so often, huffing and puffing angrily.

"Marco's an idiot." Izo growled, moving so he could lie his head in his lover's lap, arranging his hair in a way that Thatch could pet them just the right way.

"That's not new." Thatch laughed, gently scratching the black-haired man's scalp.

"Ace couldn't have cheated." Izo murmured, his eyes closed, letting himself relax slightly.

"Ace wouldn't cheat..." Thatch said pondering, a hint of interrogation in his voice nonetheless.

It seemed really far fetched to think that Ace would have cheated on Marco... Knowing Ace the way Thatch did, it seemed impossible. Still... Marco had left Ace so he had to have proof. His brother wouldn't have left otherwise. He wouldn't have been that miserable either. So... Thatch couldn't help but question Ace's apparent innocence.

"Of course not ! And with Kid nonetheless !" Izo said briskly, opening his eyes and glaring at the ceiling. "I talked to him about Kid a few days ago and do you know that he told me he hadn't seen that Kid was flirting with him ? Of course he hadn't ! He's so clueless !"

"Maybe he has…"Thatch tried. Even he had noticed how Kid looked at Ace... So maybe him cheating with Kid wasn't that strange... wasn't that far fetched...

"What ? You think Ace knew about Kid's feelings ?" Izo asked, snapping his gaze back to his lover, frowning.

"Hum, well... "Thatch muttered, not knowing what to say. He didn't have proof of Ace's guilt so he couldn't defend his point of view. Still, he had doubts.

"But they are not going out with each other ! With Marco gone, they could have ! But Ace is still alone, mourning !" Izo exclaimed.

"Maybe he realised he made a mistake ?" Thatch said finally, unsure of how well received his opinion would be.

"Are you ... are you implying that Ace did cheat ?" Izo asked, rising suddenly, kneeling on the couch, glaring at the brown-haired man.

"..." Thatch stayed silent, not willing to anger his lover further. Still he needed to tell him that it was a possibility...

"I can't believe you ! Ace told me that he didn't like Kid ! He is still in love with Marco !"

"I'm just saying that it's possible, love. Not that it's the truth. I mean, we don't know and Ace could have made a mistake..." He said calmly.

"That's not possible." Izo muttered, taking back his place in Thatch's lap. "I don't want to believe this. There must be something wrong..."

Thatch hummed noncommittally and resumed scratching his lover's hair tenderly.

"I should ask Marco again, to know what really happened..." Izo finally said, his brows furrowed in uncertainty.

"I don't think he'll reply... He never did before..."

"I know. I know !" Frustration dripped from Izo's voice. "I know but... I'll wait till New-Year... probably."

"Or you could ask Ace." Thatch said.

"No way." Izo laughed lightly. "He wouldn't take it well."

"And if he's guilty ?"

"... Let's hope he's not..." Izo finally said.

- Letting go -

It was the 31st of December. Snow blanketed the world outside. The streets were crowded with people wanting to see the fireworks. They were hastily making their way to the nearest metro or bus station. Whichever was the fastest.

Night had fallen a few hours ago. The stars were hidden behind the clouds and probably a bit of pollution. The light of the street lamps cast diffuse halo on the whitish sidewalks, illuminating the passer-bys on and off. Snowflakes were drifting toward the earth unhurriedly. Sluggishly.

Ace was walking among the crowd. He was one among so many others; like a snowflake, a tiny little spot in the horizon, fated to fall on the ground and melt.

It was rather cold, probably under 0°C or even less. The wind was strong and freezing making it hard to appreciate his walk. His breath came out in short white puffs, the tip of his nose was red from the cold and he could practically feel his face starting to peel off. He was wrapped into a heavy winter coat, grey with reddish designs, hands in his pocket to prevent his fingers from falling off.

Leaving the crowded street, Ace made his way into a maze of dimly lit and narrow streets. The buildings were high, looming eerily above him, dwarfing him under their sheer tallness. Still, he went on. He knew his way perfectly.

Only the noise of his steps as he walked broke the thick silence, no sound from the crowded streets permeated here. Soon, he came into view of a shabby looking bar stuck in a dark corner, inconspicuous. A little hole in the wall, really. A bell rung as he pushed the door open. A cloud of smoke enshrouded the bar. Cheap perfume blended with the scent of cigarettes in a pungent smell.

The bar was rather small but it was clean and cheap. That was what mattered, really. The tables were huddled together, nearly touching, a few ceiling pendants casting a dim light on them. Some flowers which had seen better days framed the door in large brown flowerpots. The counter was made of dark wood and was rather shiny. The bartender always made sure of it. It may be a unknown bar in an unremarkable street but it was still a nice one. A refuge for people like Ace. People who were alone, lost at sea, in need of a hiding place. The other patrons didn't look at him as he made his way to the bar. People here didn't really care about who you were or what you wanted. They just needed to be left alone. No one ever asked any question.

Nodding to the bartender he ordered a whisky on the rock. It was New Year. He could get smashed if he wanted to, no one would look at him twice, here or in the city. It was socially acceptable to get wasted on this day.

He took his drink and searched for a table. Usually, there were only three or four people here. Today there was something like ten. Maybe more. Ace didn't have the time to count. He took a seat next to the window, the only table left free. The glass was fogged up and the world outside appeared blurry and dark.

Nursing his drink, he was left with his own thoughts; thoughts better left in the recess of his mind. Today was supposed to be a day to be celebrated. But here he was, alone and wallowing. He had wanted to stay at home but had decided against it. The heavy cloud of guilt hanging over his head was thicker at home, it was stifling, crushing. He had hoped that escaping his room would leave it behind. But he hadn't. If anything he had made it worse. He had told Luffy he was spending the day with Kid. Lying to him yet again.

So here he was. Alone. Luffy was with his friends. Sabo was at the hospital. Ace was alone...

A television in the corner broadcast a concert taking place in Vienna every year to celebrate the New Year. The sound had been muted but he could still see the dancers whirling around. It was mesmerising. Still, in the corner of his mind, his problems lurked, ready to pounce on him if he thought about it.

He had decided to sell his shop. To Bonney or to Kid. Whoever would want to take it. He had already thought about what he would tell them. His art had caught the eye of a renown artist who wanted to make Ace famous. Or something like that. So Ace could leave for another country altogether. Italy maybe. It had a nice weather and really delicious ice cream. That was quite the selling point, really. That and pizza.

He would tell that to Luffy too. Probably.

It was still a mess in his head. He knew, deep down, that maybe leaving wasn't the solution. He would need someone to help him when his legs would fail him. Furthermore he could live ten more years so... would he be able to live so far away from his brothers for this long ? And Luffy was bound to ask questions, to visit him sometimes even. What could he do ? If he stayed, he would have no reasons to sell his shop so he would have to tell the truth. And even without that, if he left how would he live without a steady income ? He wasn't rich and neither were his brothers. Garp wouldn't help him. No one would, really, as he was lying to them all. Maybe Dadan would ? She had been his babysitter back when he was a little brat. She wasn't the most affectionate person he knew but maybe she would help him... despite her harsh words and uncaring attitude, the woman was a thoughtful person. He hadn't talked to her for awhile... maybe it was time for him to visit her.

Midnight ticked by, not acknowledged by any patrons in the bar. The dim sound of the fireworks going off in the distance could even be heard from this dingy hole he had crawled into and the television was broadcasting another.

All of the patrons kept drinking, wrapped in their silence and sorrow. Ace drank too, finishing his first glass. He motioned the bartender for another, and went back to looking at the television. He didn't drink anymore. Usually. Since his near death experience as he had drank too much two years ago he was a bit wary. He wouldn't put himself through this again. And he wouldn't put Luffy through this. What would he think ? But still, tonight, he had needed a drink or two. Not enough to get drunk. Just a few, to dull his thoughts. Even for a few hours.

It was already half past midnight. Ace rose his glass slightly, cheering with his reflection in the window and took a huge gulp.

"Happy Birthday." He murmured, too low for anyone to catch his words.

- Letting go -

"Hey Marco." Izo smiled a little warily, approaching his brother who had been sitting in a corner the whole night, a frown marring his features.

It was nearly one o'clock. Most of their siblings where either smashed, laughing their heads of, dancing or passed out in a corner. Pops was busy having a drinking contest with Blamenco and Haruta who held her alcohol really well despite her size. Thatch had wanted to participate too but was already wasted, his head cradled in his arms. Not sympathetic in the least because it was Thatch's fault, Izo had kissed his forehead and left him at the table cursing his stupidity for challenging those three.

Others were still dancing in the middle of the huge room, swaying their hips like crazy and singing loudly and for the most part out of tune.

Marco rose his head, looked at Izo and sighed, a weary smile crooking his lips.

"Hello Izo." He murmured, taking a sip from his cocktail. "It's a lovely evening, isn't it ?"

"It is..." Izo whispered back.

Silence settled between them as Izo leant against the wall near his brother, both of them looking ahead.

"Don't you want to join them ?" Izo asked.

He had kept watch over his brother all night along, wanting to see if he would join the party, if he would stop being so morose... But Marco seemed stuck in this corner. He hadn't moved the whole night except to wish a happy new year and cheer with everyone at midnight. Since then, he had taken back his spot on the couch, seemingly overlooking the festivities. He was just drinking his sorrow away, really. It was becoming quite concerning as Izo had never seen Marco drink this much. Talking to Haruta, who was Marco's secretary, hadn't eased his worries. Marco hadn't moved on in the years he was away. He had tried, apparently, collecting one night stands every night for a few months before stopping altogether and concentrating on his work. Haruta had told Izo that Marco wasn't happy and despite her constant nagging, he hadn't opened up to her either. She didn't even know that Marco thought Ace was cheating on him, not that Izo had told her. He wasn't going to babble on something so important.

Upon arriving this evening, Izo had already decided he would talk to Marco but... but he hadn't found the right moment to do so. Marco hadn't seemed alright enough for this kind of conversation. He had been sipping cocktails after cocktails from the very start, making small talk with whomever would come his way, sending them back rather quickly, pretending to be tired. He wasn't any better for this kind of conversation right now.

"I'm not feeling well, I prefer staying here and watching." He replied, not looking at Izo.

Figures. It was as if a huge cloud of anguish was hanging right above his head, a heavy weight resting on his shoulders.

"Sorry for last time." Marco finally said, still not looking at Izo. "I was pretty out of it. I shouldn't have said that to you. I'm sorry."

"Don't worry. You're already forgiven." Izo replied easily. He couldn't be mad at him when he looked this wretched.

Marco hummed but said nothing else.

"They are worried." Izo whispered.

"I know." Marco finally looked up at him, tiredness and a bit of helplessness etched on his face.

"They are wondering what's happening to you." Izo tried again.

"I know." He said once more, huffing.

"... Do you... Do you still not want to talk about it ?" Izo murmured, his voice calm and soothing. He didn't want his brother to get mad at him. He wasn't here to interrogate him. He was trying to lend him a helping hand.

"No Izo. I still do not want to talk about it." Marco answer rather brusquely.

Izo wanted to tell him a lot of things. Wanted to yell at him to wake up; to hug him to make him feel better; to tell him that Ace was innocent or if he wasn't that they needed to talk about it ! But Marco didn't need him to yell at him or else he would leave and never talk to him again. He didn't need his comfort either as he hadn't needed it this past few years because it would have made him look weak and Marco was anything but weak. And he sure didn't need another lecture.

Izo didn't have proof of Ace's innocence and Marco wouldn't believe anything that came out of his mouth if it lacked real, tangible evidences.

Frowning because he felt utterly useless, Izo slumped on the couch next to his brother, nearly sitting in his lap because Marco was sitting in the middle of it. He wiggled until his brother made room for him, sighing and shaking his head. If Marco didn't want his help, at least, he wouldn't spat on silent companionship.

Not saying anything, they stayed here watching their siblings having the time of their life. Izo took his phone out and began snapping photos left and right. Such good blackmail material couldn't be ignored.

- Letting go -

It was later in the night, maybe at three o'clock when everyone was definitely passed out on the dancefloor or in the beds, when Edward Newgate finally made his way to his first son.

Marco was still seated on the couch, Izo sleeping next to him, drowling over his shoulder.

"Aren't you going to bed, son ?" He asked in a low rumble.

His little drinking contest had ended some times ago when Blamenco and Haruta had finally given up. It was to be expected, really.

"I will. As soon as Izo wakes up and stops taking me for a pillow." He grumbled, a small smile betraying his inner thoughts.

"Gurarara, as it is, he won't wake up until tomorrow morning." Edward laughed.

"Probably." Marco huffed lightly, not wanting to disturb Izo's sleep.

Edward's frame shook with laughter and his eyes twinkled with mischief. Silence followed Marco's statement as the men simply exchanged small smiles, full of complicity. The moment passed and seriousness overtook Edward's features.

"I'd like to talk to you, son." Edward finally said motioning for him to follow as he turned around.

Sighing, Marco moved Izo gently so he was lying on the couch and got up. He knew that he couldn't avoid a conversation with his father any longer. He followed him to his study, taking a sit behind the massive desk while Edward went to pour them glasses of water and sat opposite to him.

"We wouldn't want to be sick as they all are, now." He said smiling and giving his son one of the glass.

Marco hummed and began to drink eagerly. He didn't want to be the first one to talk, to break the silence and begin a conversation that he was sure wouldn't be pleasant.

"I didn't ask any question back then." Edward started finally, a serious expression on his face, his eyes showing warmth and care. "Because I respected your choices and thought you were doing what was right for you. But I'm worried."

Marco looked down, not wanting to meet his father's gaze. He had been grateful his father hadn't asked him any question two years ago otherwise he would have had to tell the truth. If there was one person on this earth he couldn't – and wouldn't – lie to, it was his father.

"You didn't partake in the festivities. You don't have a personal life anymore. Don't tell me you do, Haruta talks to me, you know ?" he said as Marco opened his mouth to protest.

The blond-haired man closed his mouth and stayed silent.

"You know Marco, I can't force you to talk to me but I'm worried because I can see that you're unhappy."

"I know Pops... I'm sorry to worry you" He apoligized sheepishly. He always felt like the brat he had been more than fifteen years ago in front of his father.

"I'm not here to reprimand you, Marco, so look up." He said, his eyes radiating love.

Marco couldn't tear his gaze away from his father and his heart began to ache.

"You know that you can talk to me anytime, do you ?" Edward went on. He rose and made his way to Marco bending and hugging his son closely. "Anytime you need me, I'm here. You're an adult now, but you'll always be my son." He says, emotion in his voice.

"Thank you." Marco murmured, his voice shaking slightly, returning his father's embrace.

He trusted the man with his life. He knew he should tell him exactly what was happening in his life if only to take a bit of the burden away. But he didn't want to break down in front of his father. He needed to put everything behind him and start being happy again. He couldn't stay down. He needed to get up. He was back in the city, back where everything started, where he shared good and bad moments with people that meant the world to him. But it was life with its ups and downs. Marco was done wallowing.

- Letting go -

The sun was shining through the shades, casting rays of light directly on the face of a very disgruntled sleeper. Grumbling, Ace turned around and tugged his sheets so they would cover his face. Damn sun. A loud banging noise nearly made him get out of bed but he decided against it. The heavy weight jumping on him and nearly knocking the wind out of him made him regret this decision.

"Aaaace !" shouted Luffy bouncing on him wildly, tugging the sheets down. "Happy birthday !"

Ace grumbled something and tried to throw Luffy on the ground but to no avail. The kid was a real life octopus and he was definitely strong despite his size.

"Happy biiirthday to you ! Haaappy biiirthdaaay tooo you ! Happy birthdaaaay to yooou" Luffy began to sing out of tune and rather loudly.

"Luuuffy." Ace groaned, opening one of his eye to glare at his little brother.

"Wake up , wake up, wake up ! It's already lunchtime and I'm hungry !" His little brother cried out, punctuating each word with a bounce on his bed which created ripples on the mattress. It was almost strong enough to knock Ace out of his bed.

"Go bother someone else, you little scoundrel !" Ace grumbled, laughing.

"Sanji didn't have any food left so he send me home ! But we're partying again tonight ! I love partiiies !" Luffy said a beaming smile on his face, rolling on the bed and crushing Ace in passing.

"Good for you." Ace mumbled, getting up and stretching.

"Do you want to come ?" Luffy asked him, getting out of Ace's bed.

"No thank you, I'll pass." Ace laughed still feeling slightly groggy. He hadn't drank much but it had been enough to render him light headed.

"Oh sourpuss ! It's your birthday, we should celebrate ! And we're having fondue..." Luffy said, little stars in his eyes, drool running down the corner of his mouth. "You can't say no to fondue." He declared confidently before frowning. "Though... It would leave more fondue for me. So you can say no to fondue !" He exclaimed laughing and darting to the kitchen, Ace hot on his hells.

"Why, you little monster ! I won't let you eat all this fondue without me !"

"I can and I will !" His brother replied, his head already in the fridge probably looking for something eatable.

"Head out of the fridge !" Ace yelled upon seeing him.

Luffy quickly closed the door and made his way to sit at the table frowning. Years of hard training, really. Making Luffy behave was difficult at best. When it concerned food ? It was nearly impossible.

"But I'm hungry !" The younger man drawled, pouting.

"I know. But I won't have you eating everything in sight. Do you want to eat now or can you wait twenty five minutes so I can actually prepare something ?"

"Now ! I want food now !" Luffy exclaimed, banging his cutlery on the table. When had he gotten them out of the drawer ? When it came to eating his brother definitely was a force to be reckoned with...

"Okay, I'll make you an omelet. It won't take long so stop banging your damn fork on the table ! I don't want you to make a dent on this table too !"

"Shishishi ! Sourpuss." Luffy insulted him, a crooked grin on his face.

Not bothering to reply he began preparing the food for his brother and some coffee for himself.

Luffy's constant chatter was soothing. His laugh even more so. They ate lunch, cleaned the table and decided to play some video games before going to Sanji's without Luffy stopping once his retelling of last night's events.

"And then, Usopp was like rolling on the floor imitating a walrus !" "And Robin told me that pirates still existed ! I want to become a pirate too !" "Brook taught me an amazing pirates' song ! Bink's sake !" "Yohohoho yohohoho !"

It was already six and the brothers had spent their afternoon playing, bickering over petty things and indulging in insane amounts of sweets. All in all it had been a wonderful birthday. Luffy was the best brother in the world. Ace hadn't expected the young man to come home and celebrate it with him. He had already made peace with spending it alone. It didn't bother him. But of course his brother would act unpredictably. As always.

"Come on ! We're going to be late ! They will eat the fondue without us !" Luffy whined, already dressed up, shoelace tied and coat on. Ace on his part still had his toothbrush in his mouth.

"Brushing your teeth is important when you have an ounce of manners." Ace replied laughing at Luffy's impatience after rinsing his mouth.

Soon they were on their way to Sanji's.

TBC