I do not own 'Naruto'
Tsunade
There journey hadn't been too long before Jiraiya met his informant, in a strip club. Apparently my Genjutsu side affect only works when he's not paying, how sad is that? From what he was told, Tsunade was in the village they were now entering. Now all they had to do was find her and convince her to return home.
"Okay Naruto" Jiraiya spoke "My sources told me she's somewhere in here." he looked around "Look for any signs of unnatural damage near bars or casinos" he ordered "she tends to get aggravated when she loses." he took a serious tone "We could be hear for a while so I need to do 'research' to gain some 'information' while you..."
"Or Naruto" spoke cutting him off "I could look for the largest Chakra source in the area."
"Sensors" Jiraiya sighed "takes all the fun out of the hunt."
"Hunt?" Naruto questioned "we are trying to find our future leader, not be predators!" Naruto shouted "We get enough of that from Orochimaru" (AND THERE IS MY FIRST OROCHI-PEDO JOKE)
With no better plan, they decided to follow Naruto's idea. They ended up in front of a bar just as Jiraiya stated they would. They found Tsunade with her assistant and a pig. I was denied rabbit stew, now I can make up with pork.
"Tsunade" Jiraiya called "long time no see."
"Jiraiya?" she was shocked to say the least "What are you doing here?"
"What?" he feigned hurt "can't I visit an old friend?"
"No" she and Naruto answered
"Who's side are you on?" Jiraiya asked Naruto
"The side that get's that pig in my belly." Naruto answered
"Oink"
Naruto took his eyes off the pig and the lady holding him. He was focused on the female Sannin.
"You are...Tsunade?" he asked
"Yes" she answered eyeing Naruto cautiously "and you are?"
"I am Naruto Uzumaki" he answered proudly
"Uzumaki?" she asked "your Kushina's boy?"
"Yes" he took her hand giving it a light kiss "it is an honor to meet you" Tsunade couldn't hold down her blush "my Slug-Hime."
"Jiraiya" Tsunade spoke "If you took lessons from him then you could actually get a lady that didn't charge."
"That's just not fair" Jiraiya grumbled "I am Jiraiya the gallant, why don't I get respect?" he asked before pointing to Naruto "Don't you already have enough women with your girlfriend and two fiances?"
"Girlfriend?"
"Fiances?"
"Oink?"
"I'll eat you."
"Oink!"
"I am in a very open relationship with my Himes" Naruto stated calmly and Kyuubi-Hime is actually demanding that I have more Himes, just so she can be Alpha-Hime.
"Well I'm impressed" Tsunade admitted "but I'm a bit old for you."
"I know your as old as this perverted toad here" Naruto stated, he almost earned a Chakra punch to the face, almost "but I see no problem with that." he admitted "To me it only makes you a more fine wine."
Tsunade turned a shade of red that put tomatoes to shame "Why couldn't you be this smooth?" she asked Jiraiya "So how open was that relationship you mentioned?"
"Very" Naruto answered "just three conditions."
"Which are?"
"You must honestly love me" he stated "you come back and be our Hokage" he continued "and you let me roast that pig."
"WHAT?"
"I'm hungry fo..."
"NO" she shouted "about being the Hokage" she glared at Jiraiya "Explain."
Jiraiya told Tsunade everything that had happened and how they ended up searching for her. From Orochimaru's failed invasion to the Third Hokage finally stepping down. Needless to say, she was not pleased with any of it at all.
"Are you out of your mind Jiraiya?" Tsunade asked "Why would I want that fool title?"
That question struck a nerve in our favorite blond.
Is Naruto going to have to choke a bitch?
"The village needs you Tsunade" Jiraiya stated "think of all you could do to help."
"Forget it" she stated "I'm never going back to that village again."
It looks like Naruto is going to have to choke a bitch.
"Pathetic" Naruto spoke "I expected better from you."
"What are you rambling on about?"
"You aren't the one was I told of" Naruto stated in disappointment "were is the woman the Hokage and this perverted fool spoke so highly of?" he asked in outrage, this caused Tsunade to lower her head in shame "All I see is a spoiled woman drowning herself in her own self pity." he gave a mock sigh "I guess Jiraiya really was the good student out of the Sannin, I feel disappointed."
"WHAT HAPPENED TO ALL THAT FINE WINE YOU SPOKE OF?"
"It spoiled" Naruto answered "now all that's left is rotten grape juice."
"You want to take this outside?" she asked
"But Tsunade" Naruto stated "we are outside."
Tsunade was confused by the statement and looked around. Sure enough, they were outside in the middle of the street.
"How did... when did...?" she looked to Naruto "YOU!"
"Naruto, it would be better if we weren't being eyed by passing strangers" Jiraiya stated "real or not."
"Fine"
And like that, it was over. The Shinobi were back inside the bar.
"I need a drink" Tsunade groaned "I never knew why people liked Genjutsu" Tsunade stated "it's only used for hiding."
"...Tsunade, how is your Saki?"
Tsunade knew something was wrong the minute he asked the question. She was proven correct when she felt something squirm in her mouth. There was no hesitation as she spit it all onto Jiraiya. Now the Toad Sannin was covered in Saki, spit and squirming maggots.
"Are you trying to piss me off?" she asked "You could have killed me."
"If I wanted to do that" Naruto spoke "you'd be dead." a voice whispered in her ear forcing her to urn around to nothing. "Angering you on the other hand is so easy it almost no fun, almost."
"That's it" she shouted "You. Me. Outside."
"Lady Tsunade" Shizune called
"Be careful" Jiraiya warned "don't take this lightly."
"Don't worry Jiraiya" Tsunade called "I won't hurt your apprentice."
"I was talking to you Tsunade" Jiraiya spoke in a rare moment of seriousness "he forced Orochimaru, his elites and the revived first two Hokages to retreat." he stated "After he defeated a Hyuga and the One-Tailed demon container."
"Please Jiraiya" Tsunade waved off "it seems he got you with that Genjutsu a little too well."
Tsunade and Naruto stood face to face outside of the bar.
Shizune tried to get Tsunade to calm down but she wasn't paying the apprentice any attention. All she wanted was to put the brat in his place.
"I'll give you one chance brat" Tsunade spoke "just give up and I'll let you walk away in piece."
"We both know I won't" Naruto stated
"Fine" Tsunade growled "I'll go easy on you." she gained a smirk Naruto has seen far to often Arrogance "I'll only use one finger to beat you."
"If that's how it'll be" Naruto spoke "I'll only use Genjutsu." that irked her
"I'm a Sannin brat" she growled "do you think you could beat me with simple Genjutsu?"
"If your like the other two Sannin, then yes." he answered "You become so focused on your own specialty that you ignore the other arts, like Genjutsu."
Everything Naruto had said was completely true. Tsunade, like the others, had focused mainly on her strength and her healing. Genjutsu, or even Ninjutsu was far from her top skills.
But she wouldn't admit it I'm a Sannin for crying out loud.
That's when it happened, nothing. She felt some kind of shift but absolutely nothing happened. It just seemed her fears came to the surface and stayed.
Naruto stared at her in his simple smile. The wind blew pushing her hair and ruffling his blindfold. It picked up harder and blew her hair loose.
One minute he was across from her, the next he was pushing her hair back in place. He had moved with speed she couldn't see. In a swift movement, he drew his sword and cleaved her in half, from side to side.
Tsunade fell to the ground in shock and untold pain. Is this how I die? It was different from what she had always expected. Killed by a child...
"Hey you better not fall asleep on me" Naruto shouted "that's the same as giving up."
She looked around and at herself, her body was unscathed from the blow. Her breath hitched as she fell to her knees trying to regain her breath.
She was alive!
"You brat" she called "what did you do to me?"
"I just showed you some useless Genjutsu" he mocked "I never even drew my sword so I kept my end of the deal."
"Well I'll keep to mine as well" she stated "by shoving this one finger through your skull."
Tsunade ran forward in a fury, index finger raised for action. Pulling back, she let her finger fly toward Naruto's head. Naruto just stood there as the older blond passed through him.
She never had the chance as the world began to grow larger around her... NO, she was growing smaller! As she shrunk her age began to reduce, now she was just a little kid again.
"If you want to keep acting like a spoiled brat then I'll treat you like one." he spoke "I'm going to do what your parents should have done."
Naruto grabbed her by her wrist and placed her over his knee. She tried to struggle but it was as if all her strength had left her. It was as if she really was a child, so she did what all children do.
She through a tantrum.
"Let me go you brat or..."
SMACK
Tsunade stopped in her tracks as she felt the blow to her backside.
"Did you just...?"
SMACK
"OW, when I get out of this I'm going to..."
SMACK!
SMACK!
"OUCH, stop that you..."
SMACK!
SMACK!
SMACK!
SMACK!
"OW, WAAH WAAH MOMMY!"
"YOUR MOTHERS DEAD!"
SMACK!
SMACK!
SMACK!
Naruto finally relented and restored her to her rightful age. He sat her on her legs as she massaged her sore bottom.
Tsunade turned to her apprentice Shizune and her former partner Jiraiya. She glared at the snickering pair in complete embarrassment.
Tsunade in her rage ran forward, index finger raised for action. Pulling back, she let her finger fly toward Naruto's head. It seems she really intends to keep her word. Naruto just stood there as the older blond passed through him.
"I'm getting real tired of this brat" she shouted
"You and me both grandma" Naruto stated behind her
Caught off guard by the close range of the younger man she acted on reflex. Drawing her hand back she delivered a devastating, full powered, punch to the blond.
Only for it to be blocked by the side of the Kusanagi blade he welded.
"I win" Naruto stated
"How?" she asked "You drew your sword."
"Wrong" he spoke "this is still Genjutsu" he spoke causing the area to shudder "I never even drew my blade."
"Then how did you block my punch?" she shouted
"I am a Genjutsu master" he spoke "I can make you think you punched a block of iron without your strength."
With nothing more to say he made his way back to the bar.
Tsunade knew she had lost, but she wouldn't go easily. She was going to make sure she delivered a blow that hurt, If I can't hurt him physically then I'll give one to the heart she thought.
"Pathetic" she shouted "your nothing like your mother."
This stopped him just as he entered the doorway.
"...What?" Naruto growled
"She never hid behind such techniques." Tsunade continued "I bet if she were alive then she would be ashamed to have you as a son." she paused "I know that's a bet I'd win."
A large gash appeared on the doorway as if it had been hacked at. Another appeared and another after each other. They made their way toward Tsunade as Naruto walked toward her.
Tsunade new this wasn't Genjutsu, it was a technique she was familiar with.
Quick Sword
An attack the moves at high speeds that the average eyes can't match. It's used by moving a single arm at a rapid pace with no traceable Chakra, pure speed.
This technique would cut her down...
Had she not seen it known of it.
Tsunade stepped back and opened both of her hands. Using as much Chakra as she could muster, she clapped. The force her hands created caused a small shock wave.
"I'll admit that was impressive" Tsunade spoke "but it was far too slow." this drew confused looks "Your mother was able to pull that technique off in her sleep with far superior speed." she smirked "I really believe that she would be upset to see that you couldn't use it properly."
"Shut up you old hag" Naruto shouted "I'll have this technique down pack in only a week."
"Really" Tsunade asked "Would you care to put a wager on it?"
"...What kind?" Naruto asked
"If you can master it in a week then I'll come back to Konoha."
"And if I fail?" always a catch
"Then you give me your swords" they should help pay off my debts
"Deal" he turned to leave, but not before Tsunade finished
"You should get to practicing Naruto" she mocked "mommy won't be able to help you."
He stopped.
He undid his blindfold.
He turned and met eyes with Tsunade.
Then he turned to leave.
A warm liquid began to fall on her, then another and another, like rain. However, rain didn't come in the color red.
T-This can't be blood but it was. Tsunade could never forget the warm feeling of that liquid across her skin. The metallic smell and flavor it carried. The memories it contained.
It was blood.
Tsunade was to stunned to move as it came down in a heavy pour.
The bloody rain began to come down harder and faster by the second. A few feet away the drops began to stop and slide, as if on something. On someone. It began to take the faces of the two most important people to her.
"T-Tsun-n-nade-Cha-n-n..."
"B-Big s-s-s-ister..."
"W-why... why didn't you save us?"
Tsunade couldn't believe what she saw, it was her little brother and former lover. They were becoming clearer and clearer by the second in the way she best remembers them.
Unfortunately for her, that wasn't a good thing. She bests remembers them as the were the last time she saw them.
...no
Dying.
No
Covered in blood.
NO!
Suffering.
"NO!"
All because she couldn't save them.
"Don't make me see them" she wailed "not like this."
But they wouldn't go away.
They stayed there, begging for an answer.
One she couldn't give.
It seemed like the haunting would go on forever. That she would forever see her loved ones as some form of punishment. It almost started to seem like death would be better.
That's when it happened.
The world shattered.
Everything was back as it should have been. She looked around and saw both Shizune and Jiraiya beside her. They were the ones who broke the Genjutsu and freed her. She looked around and there was no sign of the former host anywhere.
"That boy made a tough Genjutsu" Shizune observed "we almost didn't break it."
"Wha..."
"Tsunade" Jiraiya called "I don't know what the brat showed you, but know this" all form of the pervert was gone, only a Shinobi was left "you deserved it."
"I-I-I..."
"You had no right to say those things" he growled
"B-but he..."
"Is an orphan who finally found something to make him feel close to his mom" Jiraiya spoke "then you say those things."
"He shouldn't have spoke..."
"The truth" Jiraiya stated cutting her off "you are just a shell of your former self." he gave a tired sigh "You know Kushina would be very proud of his progress, maybe even a little jealous."
The Toad Sage turned to leave.
"Wait Jiraiya-Sama" Shizune called "what's that?"
In the middle of the street was a scroll. Jiraiya picked it up, it was addressed to all of them. He cautiously opened it and read it out loud.
Dear Old Hag, pervy Sage, Shizune-San, and Lunch
(That means you pig)
If you are reading this, then you finally got the old hag out of the illusion. I'm going to blow off some steam so stay away.
Beware, Naruto
P.S. DODGE!
Jiraiya did the opposite of dodging. He tossed the scroll into the air using Chakra to push it further. It landed in and empty part of a park,
It was the smart decision.
The scroll went up in a massive ball of fire. It consumed the area, luckily there was no one there. The park however, would never recover from the flames.
"IS HE TRYING TO KILL US!?" Shizune asked
"... probably."
It was late in the night, or early in the morning if you wanted to be technical. Tsunade had finally recovered from the shock of Naruto's Genjutsu.
Now she was trying to find him.
She had been searching for several hours with no hope. After a while she was tempted to just go and drink some Saki. However, something inside her kept on pulling.
Damn brat, where are you?
That was wind she found him. He was in a empty area that was once full of trees. Now it was mostly just splinters on cleanly cut wood left.
How long has he been out here? she finally saw him How hard has he been pushing himself?
She would never know, he's an Uzumaki after all.
"What do you want Tsunade?" Naruto asked in a cold tone
"What are you doing here?"
"Training" he answered simply
"...Naruto" she spoke "how would you like to add to the bet?"
"Depends" he answered "what's the steaks?"
"If you can finish that technique in a week" she spoke "then I'll give you this." she held out the necklace around her neck "The necklace of the First Hokage."
Naruto couldn't help but eye her with great suspicion. This was, after all, one of the most valuable objects in the world. On top of that, it was a family heirloom, her family.
"What's the catch?"
"If you lose" she spoke "then you give up on trying to master your mothers sword style."
"So that's your game" he mumbled "pretty steep stakes on my end, don't you think?"
"Then raise the stakes" she responded
"Fine" he thought on it "if I when, then I want the pig."
"Tonton?" Tsunade asked "why would you want her?"
"I'm going to eat her" Naruto stated "what else?"
There was no sign of humor in his voice.
Tsunade was at a cross road. By accepting the bet she would be putting Ton Ton's life in danger. If she lost then Shizune would never forgive her. I can't back out now.
"Deal"
Gonna enjoy that pig he thought I'll strangle it with my bare hands, watch the lights drain from it's eyes. and eat her for dinner that night. His mouth was watering in anticipation. Tail, gristle, teeth, ALL of it... but until then...
"How would you like to have dinner with me Tsunade?" he asked "or breakfast at this point."
"After all that" she shouted "you have the balls to ask me out on a date?"
"Yes I do" he answered immediately
"You little..."
"I have rare Saki" Naruto cut in "from Kumo."
"...I want to play poker while we eat."
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