I do not own 'Naruto'

Hokage

Four Shinobi and a pig that had been allowed to live were returning to their home village. If you don't know who they are then you haven't been reading this story properly.

"Look like I'm back Konoha" Tsunade spoke in a nostalgic tone

They made their way to the entrance guards.

"Name?" they asked

"Jiraiya and Naruto returning from mission" Jiraiya stated

"What mission?"

"Retrieving Tsunade of the Sannin."

"Hey shithead" a lovely voice called "where have you been?"

"Tayuya-Hime" Naruto called "I've missed you"

Tsunade watched with interest as Naruto shared a kiss with the foul mouth girl. Between the kisses Naruto asked if she had any trouble from sound. Tayuya proceeded to curse a storm at Naruto for letting Orochimaru get away. She was one of his elite guards Naruto thought to himself. After had their fill they separated and Tayuya took notice of the others.

"Who the hell are they?" she asked

"This is Jiraiya..."

"Hello lovely lady" Jiraiya spoke "how would you like to..."

"It's Jiraiya" a voice spoke causing his blood to run cold "let's show him our love" they began to brandish weapons "our tough love."

The pervert ran as if the Shinigami was after him

"Shizune and Tonton"

"That's a damn pig" Tayuya stated "how come you haven't eaten it yet?"

"I tried" he admitted

Tayuya gave the pig a hard stare "You've survived his hunger, you don't know how lucky you are."

"This is Tsunade, our new Hokage" Naruto finished greeting

"She got bigger tits than melon tits" Tayuya exclaimed

"One hundred and six centimeters to be exact" a certain pervert exclaimed from a distance "OH KAMI, NO NO NOT MY AHHH!"

"Where is Samui-Hime and Kyuubi-Hime?" Naruto asked

"Melon tits is only an ambassador" Tayuya stated "she does need to head home every now and again." she explained "And fuzzy is training those foxes."

"Huh." he stated

"What, I'm not good enough company for you?" Tayuya asked

"Of course you are" Naruto quickly spoke "you're my Hime, but so are they." he saw her look "I love each of you equally, I have no favorites."

"Then take me out" Tayuya ordered "tonight."

"Can I join?" Tsunade asked

"Hey monster tit" Tayuya shouted "why do you think you..."

"Tayuya Hime meet Tsunade Hime" Naruto cut her off with a new introduction

"Nice to meet you Tsunade be ready by seven" she turned back to Naruto "I want Saki."

"I like her already Naruto" Tsunade stated

Naruto stood in front of his Hokage, Hiruzen. The aged Hokage would be stepping down, but until then he had a few headaches to deal with. One big one was from Naruto after a mission.

"You met two S-Rank rogues?"

"I was minding my own business..."

"Bullshit!"

"They came to me."

"Challenged one to a Genjutsu match?"

"I had to keep damages low."

"Knocked Sasuke Uchiha unconscious..."

"Gave Gai a tortoise to... strip said Uchiha and leave him with his fan-girls" he had to suppress a shudder

"Punishment."

"You then made a deal with a broken woman..."

"Former broken woman"

"That would've decided the fate of the village."

"Yep."

"You then... you know what, NO, just go to your Himes."

"Bye"

Naruto was in a good mood, he had a new Hime which he was taking out later. The Hokage would finally get to retire as he should have. Now he...

"Hey pup" a familiar voice called

Naruto turned and saw the Inuzuka clan head standing in front of him.

"Hello Tsume-Chan" Naruto greeted "how can I help you."

"Well I was about to go get some" she paused and looked around "delicious and amazing Ramen"

Tsume gave a nod and Naruto understood, the Ramen was near. He couldn't sense it with Chakra , but he knew. The Ramen monster was always watching, always waiting.

"Yes" Naruto agreed "let get some mouth watering Ramen."

After a bowl for Tsume and eight for Naruto, he needed to save room for his dessert, they talked. The topic was the same as always, his mother. When they finished Naruto decided to drop her off at her clan compound.

"I have something for you Naruto" Tsume spoke

Tsume had his full attention since she rarely used his name, so it must have been important. She handed him a heart shaped necklace, he examined it in an confused manner.

"What is it?" he asked

"Open it pup."

Naruto did and was greeted with an unsuspected sight.

He saw a beautiful bright red haired woman looking back at him. She had deep blue eyes that stared lovingly at him and flawlessly fair skin.

Naruto had never seen this woman before but knew she was.

Kushina Uzumaki.

His mother.

Naruto didn't know what to say. He didn't need to imagine anymore, he could finally see what his mother looked like.

He was so overcome with emotion that he grabbed Tsume and pulled her into a hug. Tsume was shocked but understood, she pulled him into a tighter embrace.

"Thank you Tsume-Chan" Naruto said through tears "How can I ever repay you?"

This time she pushed away and averted her gaze.

"Naruto, do you remember what you did to the Hokage?" she asked

Naruto understood immediately.

"Who do you want to see" he asked "or would you like to experience something?"

"I have-had a mate" she admitted "but I feel like I'm forgetting him with each passing moment." she gave Naruto a desperate look "We Inuzuka choose our mates carefully and for life."

"He was your one and only" Naruto spoke in semi-understanding "what happened to him?"

"I...told the kids that I ran him away" she shamefully admitted "but that's not true, he died in the Kyuubi attack" she paused making sure Naruto wasn't uncomfortable "Since we Inuzuka are life mates I've had a long time of isolation."

"Relax" Naruto soothed as he removed his blindfold and gazed deeply into her eyes. "What do you want?"

"I want to remember my mate" she blushed before adding "I want you to use your eyes on me" She stated seriously "to make me forget the pain of my lossed mate, just for a little while."

Naruto never thought that he'd get a request like that in his life. Everything pointed to him getting the exact opposite, but he understood the pain.

"No" he answered "instead let me treat you out, as a friend."

"But..."

"If you don't enjoy yourself then I'll use my eyes."

Tsume was a little hesitant but agreed.

Naruto had gathered his Himes; minus Samui, and Tsume. After a bit of discussion and cursing, he decided to take them to a bar, not the one he had taken Anko to. He could tell she wasn't in a mile radius.

This diner was actually opened very recently, luckily it had a bar.

The bar occupants had taken one look at Naruto and kept a ten feet distance from his dates. The rumors of Naruto's last bar visit had been spread like wild fire.

"Why the cold shoulder?" Tsume asked

"I had a date in a bar with Anko once" Naruto answered "it ended in a bar fight."

"Everything was shattered after that as well." A voice spoke from behind

"Who the hell are you?" Tayuya asked

"The owner" he answered

"Get us some damn Saki then" Tayuya ordered

"I'm the owner, not a bartender" he retorted before turning to Naruto "Don't wreck anything."

"No promises" Naruto returned causing the man to storm off mumbling about insurance

"Shall we take a seat?" Kyuubi asked

They had taken a seat in a booth opposite the bar.

The night had been relatively simple but very pleasant. Naruto did is best to give Tsume what she wanted and seemed to be succeeding.

"Tayuya" Naruto spoke "there something I wanted to talk to you about..."

"Oh Kami this is it." Tayuya spoke in an uncharacteristically meek tone

"What is?" Naruto asked

"You're breaking up with me aren't you?" she asked standing up "You want a divorce..."

"What, no!" Naruto answered hastily.

"You're replacing me with monster tits and this wolf bitch!" she started "Is that it, it is isn't it?"

"No he..." Tsume was cut off by a punch from Tayuya. The blow knocked her out of her seat.

"You brought me to this damn bar so I wouldn't make a fucking seen didn't you?" Tayuya grabbed the nearest stool, which happened to be occupied by a customer "WELL I'LL MAKE A FUCKING SCENE!" She raised the stool high into the air.

"Tayuya-Hime!" Naruto spoke in a tone his Hime's had never heard "I'm not breaking up with you, in fact it's the opposite ."

"Oh..." She spoke embarrassed

"Why did you think I was about to break up with you?" Naruto asked

"...Because I don't have a pretty face" she mumbled "or large tits."

"Tayuya" the other girls spoke sympathetically "you know Naruto doesn't care about that."

Tayuya looked away in shame before answering in a weak voice "I know."

"E-excuse m-me" a terrified voice called "I d-don't mean to interrupt, b-but could you put me down?" They turned to the voice only to find a man on the stool, the stool Tayuya was wielding. She said nothing as she tossed the stool and him aside. "MY LEG!"

"Who told you that you don't have a pretty face?" Naruto asked "You're beautiful."

Tayuya said nothing, she didn't need to. Her eyes wandered to the men in the bar eyeing his Himes, minus her. So that's it, she's jealous.

Naruto stood up and walked toward the bar. He ordered the strongest and most expensive sake they owned.

"I'm so disappointed in you" Naruto spoke "you let the ones who called me a demon get to you." he looked around "Most of these people are simple minded bigots." he gave the occupants a glare "They eye women as if they were a piece of meat to be eaten and throw the scraps away." he stared straight at her "Do you want to be treated like that?"

"...No" she whispered

"Then don't let them affect you" he gave his Himes a loving look "you all are beautiful in my eyes."

"Thanks shithead" Tayuya spoke

"Now" Naruto shouted in a cheery tone "let's try to get drunk and watch me fail at it."

Tsume had to admit that she had a good evening. Naruto gave her what she wanted, the absence of a broken heart. Naruto had treated her as if she was one of his Himes.

But all too soon it came to an end.

They were once again in front of Tsume's clan house. This time his Himes were standing a bit away so Tsume and he could have some privacy.

"I had a great evening pup" Tsume spoke "thanks."

"You're welcome" Naruto spoke "sorry if it got awkward with my Himes." he looked toward her cheek "And the punch."

"No prob" she waved it off "Honestly I glad I tried your way." she admitted "I would hate myself if I forgot my mate, even for a second." she puased as she rubbed her cheek "Tayuya can throw a mean punch."

Tsume pulled Naruto into a tight hug and...

"MOM"

"DOBE"

Naruto turned to see both Kiba and Hana staring at the pair. Kiba had on a look of anger and disgust. Hana had a look of anger and betrayal.

"Hello Kiba, Hana" Naruto greeted

"Don't just hello us dobe!" Kiba shouted

"Mom" Hana shouted again "what are you doing with Naruto, are you seeing him?" she looked at their position "You are, aren't you!" she accused.

"Why?" Tsume asked causing Hana to freeze up in confusion.

"Why what?" Hana asks

"Why do you care if I see Naruto?" Tsume asks calmly

Hana tried to give a reply but faltered on her tongue. It didn't help that her mother was giving her the 'Mom Look' when caught trying to lie. The one that pierces every nerve.

"Naruto" Tsume spoke not taking her eyes off Hana "thank you for the evening but..."

"No need to say it" Naruto spoke "same time tomorrow at Ichiraku."

"Yes"

They had walked from the Inuzuka's in a tense silence. Tsunade didn't know why and felt out of the loop.

"Naruto" Tsunade spoke "who was that?"

"Hana Inuzuka" Naruto answered in an unusual tone "Tsume's daughter."

"Why do you seem... off?" Tsunade asked never noticing Kyuubi and Tayuya trying to warn her.

"That... is a story for another night."

"Are you planning on making Tsume a Hime?" Kyuubi quickly asked

"No" Naruto answered "she's just a good friend."

"Hello Naruto" a lazy voice spoke "lovely evening for a stroll on the road of life."

"What the hell do you want Kakashi?" Tayuya asked

"Sasuke and I..."

"NARUTO" a voice called "I HAVE SUCH YOUTHFUL NEWS!" it was Gai "LEE'S..."

"In door voice." Everyone stated in monotone

"Sorry" Gai spoke sheepishly "They're coming the eggs are coming!"

"...What eggs?" Kakashi asked calmly

"The ones Gut's and Grit will have." Gai answered

"Gut's and Grit?" Tayuya asked "what the hell kind of name is that?"

"Well Lee's turtle..."

"No..." Kakashi whispered

"and my tortoise..."

"NO..." it was louder

"Will have youthful eggs."

"How the hell is that possible?" Naruto asked "Their shells shouldn't allow that!" the blond paused to think "Wait, I just gave you that tortoise."

"True" Gai agreed "their shells did get in the way." he seemed upset over that "But when Lee and I saw their determination... we knew... we knew we had to help spread the..."

"Don't say it." Kakashi ordered

"The...

"I'm warning you..." he shouted

"The YOUTH!"

"AARGH!"

"LEE AND I SAW THEIR DEVOTION TO EACH OTHER SO WE AIDED THEM! HOW COULD WE NOT HELP THEM SHOW EACH OTHER THEIR LOVE?" there were tears of joy in Gai's eyes "Naruto, we would like for you to be their godfather."

"Gai you... wait, I'm your rival" Kakashi stated "shouldn't I be the godfather?"

"Your flames have went out." Gai stated in a tone most didn't know he was capable of.

"I would be honored" Naruto spoke cheerfully

"Good" Gai cheered "Lee is guarding them so will you help me make a safe place for the eggs?"

He turned to his Himes.

"Go ahead." they spoke

The two were off in a flash.

"Wait Gai..." Kakashi ran after them.

"Now that he is gone" Tsunade spoke "I want the truth about Hana" she ordered "and any others."

"There were other." Kyuubi whispered

"It all started on a shitty day..." Tayuya started

Tsunade was pissed, no that was an under statement.

She was feeling rage that couldn't be measured by normal standards. Tsunade had finally gotten the answers she wanted from Tayuya and Kyuubi. All of it, that included the former Himes.

Those hussies she would have her revenge. No one messes with my man.

But that would have to wait.

The citizens of Konoha, both Shinobi and civilian alike were gathered. They stood in a crowd around the center of the village looking up to a balcony. On that balcony was the Hokage making a public announcement.

"Citizens of Konoha" Sarutobi spoke "I am finally retiring as the Hokage." There was a chorus of protest to the aged Shinobi "Now now, I leave you in good hands." There was a round of applause.

He motion toward the entrance of the balcony. Out stepped Naruto in his full glory, a shit-eating smile on his face. A cold silence fell over the entire village.

"Were all going to die." someone spoke

"Quickly" another shouted "kill yourself while you have the chance!"

"I'm not senile enough to leave Naruto in charge." yet the aged Shinobi spoke "Citizens of Konoha" Sarutobi shouted "I give you your Sixth Hokage"

"Tsunade Senju" Naruto shouted

Tsunade stepped out onto the balcony in full Hokage robes. There was another round of applause for the new village leader.

One of the civilians, a council member, spoke.

"Should we really make her our leader?" he asked silencing the crowd "She abandoned the village and became a wondering-drunken gambler." many seemed to consider his idea "Plus she's so old and..."

He went silent.

Everyone was staring at-No beside him.

Where Naruto stood.

They made eye contact.

The man felt himself become stiff. His skin became tough with bark an his bones felt as brittle as the branch on a tree. The very blood in his body became thick and slowed as if trapped in his small veins.

Naruto had turned another person into a tree.

"Anyone else want to question my Hime's right to lead?" Naruto asked the crowd as he returned to his Hime's side.

"Questions, who questioning?"

"Not us."

"Shut up and take our Ramen."

The citizens had learned one thing about Naruto. His Himes were his life. Mess with them and you were lucky to die with your sanity in tact.

"Well citizens" Sarutobi spoke again "I can assure you that Tsunade is a changed person." he looked at their expected faces "I expect her to be an even better Hokage then me."

Naruto stepped forward.

"How many of you actually think Tsunade is old?" he asked "Just give me a show of hands." No one made any movements. "How many of you aren't answering because you think I'll punish you?"

A forest of hands.

"Well I'll have to fix that." Naruto stated

He walked toward Tsunade and dropped his blindfold. He lowered the new Hokage and delivered a passionate kiss that made her legs wobbly.

And former Himes jealous.

When he finished he stood back.

"Please drop your illusion" Naruto requested

"What?" Tsunade asked in shock

"Trust me." he pleaded

Tsunade couldn't turn him down with the look he was making.

"Fine" she grumbled "but don't complain when you see how un-fine your wine is."

Tsunade dropped her Genjutsu and stared at Naruto. She had expected him to have a look of shock or disgust on his face. All she saw was his constant loving gaze.

"Still fine to me" Naruto stated honestly.

"That's sweet Naruto" Tsunade spoke in relief "but look at all these wrinkles."

"What wrinkles?" Sarutobi asked

Naruto drew both his swords and held them together. Thanks to all the care he gave them they were polished to perfection. Tsunade could see her reflection and was shocked.

I thought I released the disguise.

She tried again.

And again

And again

Why won't it release?

After several more tries she gave up and looked towards Naruto's smug smile. What is he... she noticed Sarutobi's as well.

"My Henge Jutsu is real" he spoke "placing it on another is child's play." he gloated "This my gift to you Tsunade" Naruto spoke "for the Village Hidden in the Leaves" he shouted to the mass below "I give you Tsunade Senju in her prime."

The roaring cheers could be heard all the way to Kumo.

He's given me a second chance she though. There was so much she could do now with out limit. Thing she could enjoy once again. Make up for missed opportunities and fix old mistakes.

"What are you going to do now?" Sarutobi asked

She looked toward Naruto.

"YOU. MY ROOM. NOW!"

You all know how that goes.

"You called for me Hokage-Sama?" Naruto chuckled

"Yes" she answered If this doesn't make me his favorite, nothing will "I have something for you Naruto" she spoke as she handed him a scroll "I'm sure you'll love it."

"Of course I will" Naruto stated with a smile as he began reading "any gift from a... Hime... is..."

"Well" Tsunade spoke with a smug grin "how is it?"

There was one thing Tsunade knew about Naruto, he was sweet to his Himes. What she didn't know was that he was one crazed bastard. All she had seen of him was strength and devotion.

Never his madness.

"HehehehahahahaahahaHAHAHAHAH AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

I hope you remember that laugh.

It was Tsunade's first time hearing it and she knew someone is screwed!

Hard!

And.

Deep!

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