Chapter 7: Meet and Greet

The next morning Bilbo was jittery, excited to get going. He bounced around the room grabbing his things. His feet tapped impatiently as he waited for Balin to finish his packing, too. When the dwarf finally turned to him and nodded to the door Bilbo gave a happy sigh. He tried to not race through the halls to get outside faster.

Balin gave the excited hobbit a sideways glance, "Bilbo, calm down." He chuckled, "I know you're anxious to see everyone, and we will get there in a few hours so you don't wear yourself out before we arrive."

"But Balin," he whined, "I can't. I haven't seen Thorin in forever!" And if my dreams come true that's even more reason to be excited… "What should I say when I see him? Is there anything specific I should do? After all, he is a king now. Do I have to bow? What happens–"

"Calm down, Bilbo, there is no reason for you to do anything when you see Thorin. Let him come to you. Let him apologize. You haven't done anything wrong and you weren't the one to push him away in the first place. He is king, but that doesn't mean any of us treat him any differently. After all we have been through together he asked us not to treat him differently."

"Okay, all right, I can do that." Bilbo took a deep breath and tried to steady his heart rate.

"Good, Bard's house is just up here."

Their visit was brief, but well enjoyed as they learned what the others had been doing the past four years. Bard said that his eldest daughter was to be wed to a wealthy merchant, and that he himself had become richer due to trade with the dwarven kingdom. After the town had been rebuilt Bard got a new boat, and a new house honoring him as the one who defeated the great and powerful Smaug.

Bilbo didn't speak much, he liked listening to everybody else talk about their lives. He would prefer not to retell the dismal four years he had gone through. After a while their conversation ended and the pair were on their way again. Balin saw that Bilbo was getting restless and excused them with ease. The butterflies in the hobbit's stomach wouldn't go away. Even through their entire visit with Bard. He placed his hands over his stomach, trying to push back the nervousness.

It was only time before they would come upon the mountain; they could see the top peeking through the trees above. Balin gave Bilbo a side glance, sensing the anxiety coming from the tiny creature. When they reached the meadow that lay before the mountain, Bilbo could hardly keep himself from running. His heart swelled as he looked upon the mountain home. He felt… whole. Like he had waited for the part of his heart that had been empty to be filled again. Tears gathered in the corners of his eyes as the emotions he had long forgotten came rushing back.

"Are you all right, laddie?"

"Yes, yes," Bilbo said, hurriedly brushing away the tears, "just feel like I belong again."

Balin smile sadly, "That is good to hear. We should be able to see Thorin as soon as we arrive, you are the one he needs the most."

There was no delay once they reached the gates; Bilbo and Balin were swept away to Thorin's room immediately. They were greeted by eleven familiar, albeit worried, faces.

"Bilbo!" Bofur shouted excitedly, "Weren't sure if you're goin' to come back, after, ya know," he whispered, "what happened the last time…"

The hobbit chuckled, "I wasn't sure either, but I love him and I couldn't just sit around knowing he was going to die."

Bofur smiled along with the others. "Well go on then. We'll wait for ya out here."

Bilbo took a deep breath and walked through the heavy door. Inside it was exactly the same as he remembered. Fur rugs covered the floor with deep reds as accents to the room and on the bed – on the bed there sat a dwarven woman. She was blocking his view from seeing Thorin. He held the door open, having yet to make a sound.

"I love you Thorin," the female said, "forget the hobbit. He has only brought you pain, and now you are fading because he is not here. There are too many people depending on you. You cannot die. It has been too long that you mourn for him."

"You know what it is like, how can you tell me to just forget?!"

"Because he is not coming back. If he was he would have been here already!"

"How do you know that? Maybe they got delayed, or Balin–"

"Do you think that someone who loved you so much would leave you waiting for so long? I love you Thorin that I know, and life would be so much harder with you gone. Perhaps it is time for you to move on."

"Maybe it is time."

The female kissed Thorin on the forehead and made to get up, when they heard a gasping sob behind them. Thorin's eyes grew wide as he gazed upon the one thing that had haunted him from the moment he woke up. "Bilbo?"

The hobbit just shook his head, turned on his heel and ran.

"Wait!" Thorin struggled to release himself from his sheets. "Bilbo! Come back!" When he was finally on his feet Bilbo was far from his grasp. He rushed out the door and into the hall. "Where is Bilbo?!" Thorin frantically asked the twelve shocked faces.

"He ran towards the mines." Oin spoke softly from the back.

"What happened?" Balin questioned.

"I've got to find him, he thinks, he doesn't understand – I'll explain later." And with that he sprinted after Bilbo. The mines were dangerous. They hadn't been fully reconstructed in some areas, and the way that Bilbo headed just happened to be one of the more dangerous places.

The caverns echoed with every step Thorin took. The further in he went, the darker it became. Soon, there was nothing but darkness and his hand on the wall to guide him. He stopped, sighing dejectedly, Why would he run away? Thorin wondered.

That's when he heard it, a muffled sobbing coming from ahead of him. Slowly he walked forward. Just as he was about to find out exactly where it was coming from he tripped and stumbled forward. The noise stopped abruptly and timid voice called out.

"Who's there?"

"Thank goodness, Bilbo please come back with me. You have no idea how much I have missed you."

"No! Why should I when you're just going to forget about me again!?" His voice was becoming more distant and there were footsteps sounding in the background.

"No I won't! Bilbo please, I love you and only you. There is so much more we need to discuss, so much I need to apologize for."

"Why would you want me to come back when you have that dwarven woman waiting for you?"

"Are you talking about Dis?"

"Yes, the woman on the bed, that one that was trying to convince you to forget about me again! To make you not love me anymore. If that's how it is… if you want me to leave again, just say so because I will. Every time no matter what, I would do anything for you, Thorin."

Bilbo's voice was so broken, his heart so fragile. Thorin's eyes started to burn with shame and unshed tears. He had caused this; he had caused a wonderful, gentle creature to become self-destructive and emotionally unstable.

"Oh Bilbo," Thorin tried to reach out to him, but when Bilbo felt a hand on his shoulder he backed away.

"Don't touch me! Don't tell me you love me when you don't! And please," his voice trembled, "please just don't say anything, because I don't think I can handle anymore lies. Don't hold me and make love to me and say you care about me. Don't try to kiss me and tell me we'll be together. Then tell me you never loved me!"

"Please Bilbo, come back with me. I'll explain everything when we're safe out of the mines."

"Give me one good reason why I should return with you!"

"Because I love you! " Bilbo stayed silent for a long while, gasping in breaths and sniffling quietly.

"It's just not good enough," he finally said. The pitter patter of pf footsteps told Thorin that the hobbit was gone. He fell to his knees, alone in the dark, unable to comprehend why this happened. He just got him back, he was not going to give up so easily.