Chapter 6.
It's a good reason to go.
Donna walked out of the building and into the cool air of the night. She hadn't expected to bump into Harvey.
She wanted to avoid him at all cost. Knowing that he'd probably make a comment despite the events of the last month. She knew that given time he'd be the one to crack and bring up something not work related. It had taken too long and she had made the choice to move on.
She took a breath, readying herself for the night that lay before her.
She had met her date, David a week or so ago when she was at a coffee place near her apartment. She'd resisted his charming advances at first. But he had persisted in a very sweet way. And after deciding what to do about the Harvey situation she agreed to go on one date with him.
He was attractive, only a year or two older. Slightly taller than her. Blue eyes and his dark hair had just little streaks of grey, but in that really sexy kind of way. He had a sporty build and his profession, well he was the CEO of some corporation.
She had to give it to herself, she definitely had a type. Tall, handsome, successful men, not necessarily successful as in they owned their own firms or owned the majority of the buildings in an entire block. Just that they were normally the best at what they did.
He was a respectable guy, funny, goofy even sometimes despite his appearance and he was smart. He was sweet and knew what he wanted from life.
"Hey." He greeted her, a sweet smile plastered on his face.
"Hi." She replied just as sweetly.
She owed herself this. To know if despite what she felt for Harvey, she could move on. She wasn't entitled to anything, she never felt that the world owed her a thing. But in some way she felt that she
deserved this. To go out there and not feel like she was in someway betraying him. It was time to put him aside and focus on what she wanted. It wasn't necessarily what she wanted exactly, but it's what she needed.
"You look beautiful." He took her hand as she stepped down the pavement and into the car.
She smiled to herself. Only a moment went by before the door on the other side opened and he got in.
He started talking about the event they were attending. His company had a huge fundraiser. It was something to do with being able to fund some major research project in Africa. She was interested in what he had to say.
But looking at him all she could see in those coastal blue eyes were the intense dark ones of the man she'd left merely minutes before. He had looked tired. His usual confidence, the kind he used to command a room wavered ever so slightly.
She could tell he was unsure of himself and the quicksand they had found themselves in. Each time they tried to escape, tried to get out it just sucked them back in. Putting them at risk.
His face had immediately dropped at the mention of her on a date. He looked hurt, but she walked out before anything more could be said.
She ripped herself out of her head and concentrated on the perfectly good man in front of her. If she dug too deep into Harvey's facial cues she'd override her brain. She knew him and even back before this he was a jealous man. Coming back around to him being ever so slightly possessive of her.
Whether that meant something, she didn't want to think about it or him for just one night.
They had gotten to the event and David helped her out by offering his hand after he opened the door.
Donna smiled at him and he returned it, the broading of his lips reaching those very blue eyes. He offered his left arm and she hooked her own into it before he started walking.
xxxxxxx
David had introduced her to all of his colleagues, potential investores, donors and all of them had given her compliments on how beautiful she was. And how witty and competent. A perfect addition to the night. A partner very well suited for the man they had come to know.
She smiled and kept up her reverie. She enjoyed mingling with people and getting to know David and his work. The fact that he had nothing to do with the law was a breath of fresh air. She had dated men that shared the same characteristic as that particular one, but after Harvey, she just appreciated it more.
David had momentarily excused himself from her company. He had a speech to deliver and left her in the capable company of some of his colleagues.
They all quieted down when he came on stage. In a way he had that same demanding presence Harvey had. He just wasn't all that cocky about it.
Yet again her mind drifted back to him. Seemingly comparing two very different men. Perhaps she was trying to find similarities to make the transition easier.
So whoever she met if she met someone they wouldn't be completely alien. She was normally very good at reading people, but her luck in romantic relationships suggested that maybe sometimes her radar was off kilter.
She bit her lip. Even now while trying to enjoy a night with this seemingly great guy she had the habit of thinking about him. She took a big gulp of the glass of wine that she had in her hand. This was going to be so much harder than she thought.
xxxxxxx
Harvey had come knocking on Mike and Rachel's door. He had just ended up here. Possibly just needing a friend.
He wasn't the type to go running to other people with his shit and especially his feelings, but somehow the night had lead him here.
He also realized that he had this horrible habit of showing up unannounced at the homes of people who were close to him.
Mike swung the door open.
"Jeez Harvey it's late. If it was something with the case you could have just called." Mike replied yawning.
"It's not." Harvey said.
Mike took in Harvey's appearance then. His tie was loose, hair out of place, bags under his eyes, his demanding posture drooped.
"You look like hell." Mike continued to scrutinize him.
"Yes I know. Are you going to let me in or not ?" Harvey asked exasperated.
Mike stepped aside then. Gesturing for Harvey to walk inside.
Harvey went and slumped onto their couch. Knowing he was probably being an inconvenience. Rachel came in and caught Mike's eye before swiftly turning on her heel.
"Are you okay ?" Mike asked looking over his friend.
Harvey had sometimes just shown up at their front door, but when he had, the reason for it had been valid and almost always important. So Mike knew for certain that this wasn't just Harvey checking in on the married couple.
Harvey had stayed quiet for a while. Before looking at Mike.
"No, she went on a date." He finally admitted. He ran a hand down his face.
"Donna ?"
"Yeah." Harvey sat hunched over a little.
"Does it bother you ?" Mike inquired.
He said he wouldn't intervene again. They were adults they could figure it out. But seemingly they need the help of himself and Rachel to remove their heads from their asses. He was going to push Harvey to the brink. Never mind the yelling it was important that they get to some or other revelation tonight. Donna had gone on a date and he could sense the annoyance and bitterness in his friend's tone.
"No, yes, maybe." Harvey admitted throwing his hands up.
"Maybe ?" Mike added a bit of sarcasm in his voice.
"I don't know. She said we should take time and now she's out with another guy." He looked at Mike.
"What does that have to do with you two needing time ?" Mike started to push.
Harvey was stubborn to say the least, but he knew how to push some buttons sometimes.
"Everything. She said she needed time after everything that happened and maybe I did too. I just didn't expect her to..." His voice got quiet.
"To what ? Live her life ?" Mike pushed harder.
"It's not about that !" Harvey became defensive. Letting Mike know he was on the right track.
"Then what is it Harvey ?" He raised his voice to match Harvey's.
"I just... she doesn't want to talk to me and yet she can go on a date with this guy." He was starting to confuse himself.
Back at the office and on the way here he had convinced himself that one had to do with the other. He suspected that it had.
"It doesn't make sense." Mike answered.
"What doesn't Mike ? We've been fighting and avoiding each other and for the past month we haven't talked anywhere outside of work. She needed time and yet she has the time to go on a date !" He was starting to let it go. His controlled resolve slipping.
"Are you jealous ?" Mike questioned. Almost regretting it.
"What the fuck did you just say to me ?" And there went the resolve. Out the window along with his patience.
"Well you seem pretty pissed that she's going out tonight. With a guy and that guy isn't you." Mike stated holding his ground.
"I don't know what the hell you mean by that." Harvey shot back.
"Okay look Harvey. I didn't think I needed to spell this out for you. But you and Donna clearly have something going on and I'm not talking about the usual tension or issues." Mike himself was starting to get annoyed with his hard ass friend.
He and Rachel could see what the problem was and what the solution could be so easily and yet their older and supposed to be wiser friends couldn't open their damn eyes.
"I mean that you can't stand the thought of her going out with someone unless it's you !" Mike's voice elevating.
"I don't need this Mike !" Harvey started getting up but was stopped by Rachel before he even reached the door.
A determination in her eyes as she looked at him to go back and take a seat.
He normally wasn't intimidated, but she had the same look Donna had when she was going to call him out on his shit whether he liked it or not.
She had to take control of this situation despite promising to stay out of this particular fight. But Harvey ripping Mike's throat open because he was a hard ass wasn't the solution. She took a seat between Harvey and Mike.
"Okay look. I think what Mike is trying to say is that maybe you're jealous. Maybe you don't like her being with other guys." Her voice calm and quiet.
"I just want her to be happy." He gave up.
"And as sweet as that is, it's not healthy Harvey. You and Donna need to talk about this and I mean talk.You can yell and scream till you're both blue in the face, but it's not gonna help. You could go on like nothing happened, but what kind of relationship is that. It's not fair to her..." Rachel waited until he looked at her.
"...or you." Her voice was slightly reassuring.
"She doesn't want to talk to me ! And even if we get to that sometime I don't even know where to start or what to say." He looked at her.
He never thought his associate and best friend's wife would be the one he opened up to. It was a strange feeling knowing they weren't close, but he didn't have the energy to keep those walls up not after so long.
But this was Donna, she was an entirely different story and both of the people sitting in front of him knew her. And him for that matter. They were outsiders looking in. Spectators to whatever battles unfolded. So they had a different view of the situation than the people living it.
"We can't help you with that. That is something that the both of you need to figure out." She said looking at him with soft brown eyes.
He was very appreciative of this young friend of his. And he respected her so much for what she'd been through so he didn't go into jackass mode. He sat there and listened and it made sense.
Although talking is what had gotten them into this mess. Or deeper into it. The start of this and where it would end seemed like universes apart. In the middle of it a lot had happened and they had a lot to talk about.
He needed to know where they stood. Maybe he was jealous, maybe he wanted just the physical part or maybe somewhere deep down he knew exactly what he wanted but didn't have the balls to admit it.
These things would become clear if they could just talk. And not just skim over things until one took offence and fired off another bullet or canon. It had to be all in or nothing this time. He knew he couldn't, didn't want to lose her, but he also knew he couldn't hold on forever.
He nodded at the pair sitting in front of him. He got up and smiled at Rachel. Silently thanking her for the advice.
He got up and Mike walked him over to the door.
"I'm sorry about all this." Harvey said.
"It's okay Harvey." Mike patted his shoulder.
xxxxxxx
David had been the perfect gentleman all night long. He had this effortless charm about him. In the way he'd delivered his speech, how he spoke to the potential investors and the people he worked with.
And to her. He had even made her laugh a few times. As sad as it seemed being carefree and almost happy even was something of a distant memory.
The last few months had been a blood bath. Leaving her raw, but like always she put on her mask and persisted. Never letting anyone see the turmoil inside.
David just made it easier somehow. Maybe because for the first time in a while having a conversation with a man hadn't led to fighting and yelling.
For the first time in more than a month he was the farthest thing from her mind. As she let herself enjoy the date an he had slipped away further. Never completely gone, but not as prominent as he had been.
She was brought back to earth when her door opened and a hand was stuck out.
Donna reacted and lifted her hand to meet his. Letting it softly rest in David's as he lead her to the steps of her building.
He stopped right before going in.
"I had a really good time." He said quietly.
"I did too." She meant it and a shy smile tugged at her lips.
He stepped forward and suddenly he was very close. His blue eyes piercing through hers. He took another step to gauge her reaction and when she didn't move he lifted his hand to her cheek.
His hand was slightly rough against her skin and she could feel his breath now. He smelled so crisp and she knew by the look in his eyes what he intended to do.
She braced herself. She closed her eyes and felt the air grow warmer as his body was almost touching hers the heat radiating from him.
His cool lips gently touched hers. Barely a kiss in any sense. A moment went by before he pressed his lips firmly against hers. He was still hesitant, waiting for her response. She didn't push him away and let herself go for a moment. Kissing him back.
He pulled away.
"Goodnight Donna." He ran his thumb over her cheek.
"Goodnight David." She forced a smile and when he was in his car she turned and walked quickly to the elevator.
When the doors opened with a ding she went in and held her composure until she was in the safety of her home.
She went to her bedroom and flopped down on the bed.
David was so sweet. Even in the way that he had kissed her. It was a good kiss. It was gentle and a far cry from what he had done.
And now her brain was comparing the two kisses by the amount of endorphins each kiss had released. And how many heartbeats were skipped in those few moments.
The outcome. Harvey's rough and raw unexpected kiss had won hands down. He had taken and taken until almost all the oxygen in her lungs had dissipated. He had bit and tugged and pulled until her head spun.
She could easily forget the way his hand had control over her lower spine. Pushing her right into him. The way he smelled and how hard his body had been against hers. But his mouth and the way it felt was something that was burned into brain and dreams.
David had nothing on Harvey. Not even close. She closed her eyes for a brief second.
She had tried to move on. Although maybe she hadn't tried hard enough. She couldn't live her life comparing every possibly suitor to the one man she couldn't have.
She was in a tail spin with no route out. Going around and around. Him at the middle of it all.
They were both running. In complete opposite directions or so it seemed until they just ran head on into each other. One would think that you'd learn your lesson but nope they just kept banging their heads against the same damn wall.
xxxxxxx
The door closed behind Harvey. He had undressed and gotten into the shower.
The steaming water creating an image that messed with his head.
Flame licked hair and intense hazel-green eyes. Taunting him. Teasing him.
He got out after just a few minutes. He couldn't get away from her.
He dried himself off before putting on black sweatpants and a grey t-shirt before getting into bed.
He couldn't get comfortable. Hitting, turning and eventually just throwing a pillow off his bed.
He groaned into one. He had been sleepless more than usual. All thanks to one woman.
He forced his brain to switch off. He had to get away from her somehow.
xxxxxxx
Donna was dressed in white. Her hair pulled up. Only a few tendrils framing her face.
She was turned away and was facing a long floor length mirror. A soft smile gracing her face. Her eyes shot up and the smile grew wider.
She turned around and started walking towards him. He raised his hand. And she did the same. But she didn't place it in his. Instead she had walked right past him. He twisted his body and saw a man taking her outreached one. She clearly hadn't even noticed his presence.
Suddenly the scene changed and he was the only one standing at the foot of what seemed like an altar. Flowers raking through openings in the wood that formed it.
And she appeared standing opposite a man dressed in a black and white tux.
"I do." He heard her voice and it hit him like a grenade. Exploding.
He stepped up and wanted to get her attention. So he said her name and then he said it again.
She wasn't hearing him so he raised his voice. And still no reaction.
He realised then that he was just someone looking in. He wasn't part of the story at least not in a way that he could stop her.
He panicked then as he watched her walk away hand in hand with someone he didn't know. He tried to move and his feet seemed to be cemented to the ground. Leaving him incapable of moving. And before he knew it she was gone.
He shot up, his chest wildly moving up and down.
He realized that it was just another dream. Where she left him. But this time he honestly couldn't stop her. He had lost her completely. Although it was just a dream he could feel the anger starting to burn it's way through his body.
Why the hell couldn't he get that out of his head. Her leaving. Her walking away. Him being unable to go after her time and time again. It was always there in the back of his mind. He had even chosen her over Paula.
It hit him like a wrecking ball. He chose Donna, his friend, colleague over his girlfriend someone who he might have seen a real future with. And all it took was a letter to say she was resigning. He had run like a bat out of hell to end it with Paula. To find Donna and get her to come back.
The comments from Mike, Scottie, Rachel and even Donna herself flood back to him. And in that moment he knew what he wanted and he wouldn't go down without a fair fight this time.
xxxxxxx
Friday.
Donna had been in the executives kitchen for a while. Just staring at the shelf of cups infront of her. Her mind backtracking to last night. Harvey and then David and then right back to Harvey. Head meet wall she thought.
It always just had to come down to this emotionally stunned man that had his head so far up his ass that he couldn't see what was right infront of him.
She'd meet these great guys who were the marrying type. They weren't just flings, but they always stood second on the podium right next to Harvey. That's how it worked for 12 years and apparently even now.
"You're making coffee ?"
She turned to see Mike.
"Not for you." She smiled at him then.
"So uhmmmm how did the date go ?" He asked nervously as he shoved both hands in his pockets.
"Rachel told you ?" She had texted Rachel after the date telling her that it went well as far as first dates go.
"Harvey actually." He added avoiding making eye contact.
"He showed up last night and he was pretty upset about it." He interjected before she could ask.
"Why would he be upset ?" She had a good incling as to why.
"Because you have time to go out on a date, but you won't talk to him." Mike shrugged then, knowing that the truth would be the best course of action in the scenario.
She shook her head. He of all people was complaining about her lack of communication when all he'd ever done was dodge getting personal like it was the plague.
She scoffed.
"You know Donna he actually does want to talk." Mike said.
"Yeah." She looked away.
"Why won't you ?" He asked knowing he should probably walk on egg shells, but if he'd done that the first time she wouldn't have kissed him
"Because I'm not ready Mike. I barely know what to say to him." She threw her hands up.
"See that's funny, because he doesn't know what to say either." He looks at her then.
He had to push from both sides, both of them too stubborn to get to the some sort other peace treaty without a little help.
"So then why ?" She crossed her arms over her chest.
"Because Donna you haven't been talking at all." Mike reasoned.
"What would it matter ? Talking only made this worse than it already was." She still had her arms crossed. A defensive stance.
"Because he's clearly upset and doesn't know how to handle it." Mike said.
"And what about me Mike don't you think that I'm angry too ? I have no idea how to deal with this anymore than he does."
He sighed.
"Just think about it." He said, his voice filled with sympathy.
She nodded and he left her alone with her thoughts. She hadn't expected him to be this upset about a date. But then yet again this was Harvey. The same guy who let the thing with Stephen get in the way of how they were accustomed to working, blaming her for it.
xxxxxxx
Harvey was tapping his pen against his desk. The click click of it on the wood seemingly the only sound in his office.
He was thinking about the dream he had last night. Her in a wedding dress walking away with a guy he had probably just conjured up. He hadn't slept much after that. The dream replaying in slow mow every time he closed his eyes.
The feeling of losing her again resonating somewhere deep in his chest. It never seemed easier whenever she did. It was rare but it happened.
He also realized that the thought of her with someone else made him touchy. He was as Mike had put it jealous.
And then something Paula had said months ago finally made sense. He had always been the center of her attention and affection and he didn't want it to stop. But it had. Abruptly to say the least.
He rolled his eyes. It seemed like everyone always had an opinion about them. And they clearly couldn't keep it to themselves. It was hard enough as it is without the additional commentators.
He had come to a conclusion last night. He had one question to ask her.
xxxxxxx
Donna was turned to the window. The back of her chair facing the glass door.
She heard it close and swiveled her chair only to come face to face with Harvey.
He looked at her for a moment.
"Donna can I ask you a question ?" He asked.
"Harvey I..." She started.
"Why did you lie about the kiss ?" He finished.
She let out a breath before standing up. She walked as far away as possible from him in her office.
They stayed quiet. Not budging. She seemed reluctant to answer.
She had her back turned to him like the night he kissed her and came begging for her to open the door.
She chewed the inside of her lower lip. Knowing he wouldn't leave until he got his answer.
She swallowed the lump in her throat.
"Because it was easier." She broke.
"Easier ?" Question in his voice.
"Yes Harvey, it was easier to just lie instead of telling you what I actually felt." She had turned to him again.
A gaping chasm still stretched between them.
He looked at her then. The question had weighed on him. Equal to weight of the world he always seemed to carry.
He had scraped every last ounce of courage and determination left to ask her.
He nodded as he studied her. She hadn't taken her eyes off his.
"What did you feel ?" His heart pounding against his ribcage daring to crack it open.
She then broke the eye contact. She could tell him what she felt, she had only realized it after the second kiss. The first had made her question things but even back then she knew a part of her was lying.
"Does it matter ?" Her voice laden with the promise of another disappointing and disastrous fight.
"Yes." He said his brows furrowed.
"Why ? We both know where this leads. We've been down that road quite a lot lately." She answered back.
"What did you feel ?" He had ignored her question and statement only concentrated on the one he had.
"It's not going to change anything. What difference would it make ?" She was fighting a losing battle. Against her heart and his stubborn manner.
"What did you feel ?" He repeated, his tone slightly more stern.
"It felt right ! Like I had one last thing before losing the only man I ever..." She stopped before the last few words slipped out.
"The only man you ever what Donna ?" He was trying to push. He knew what she had almost said.
"It honestly doesn't matter Harvey." Her voice was shakey.
"Please just let it go." Her eyes becoming blury. Filled with tears of years of denial.
She started walking past him. She always blamed him from running and yet she had fled as much as he had from her.
He lightly grabbed her wrist and stopped her. They both stood there for what felt like a lifetime.
"I can't just let it go Donna." His voice barely a whisper.
"You always have so what's different this time." She wiped a tear away as it slid down her cheek.
He almost let go, but decided against it. Instead he put his other hand on her wrist letting the previous one fall before he gently pulled her to face him. His hand gently, but firmly wrapped around her wrist.
"Because I know what I'll lose if I do." He said trying to catch her eye.
"I can't Donna." He added after she hadn't answered.
"Then give me a good reason to stay." She said feeling her heart shatter again at the hands of this man in front of her.
She wouldn't walk away from her job. But she'd walk away from them. She'd walk away from 13 years and not look back again.
"For me." He said looking into those eyes he'd come to know over what had felt like an entire lifetime.
Dark clashing with light. Struggling to find something steady to keep the scales from tipping in the wrong direction.
She smiled, a tragic smile that had her tears drip into the space between them. A stupid hope inside her that somehow they could water the dead ground after the battle and start to grow something better, something more.
"I've only ever stayed for you Harvey." She couldn't win this, not this time. Her armory robbed of any weapons she had left to protect herself.
"I know." His own voice softening even more.
"Then why ask me to do it again ?" Her bottom lip quivering.
"Because living without you is the one thing I can't do."
He had waved his white flag. He had just surrendered.
"You seemed just fine when you were with Paula." She noted bitterly.
Referring to him not having drinks with her after work or even telling her they were dating and everything after for that matter.
He hadn't expected that and it forced him to let go of her.
"That's not fair." He claimed.
"What you mean like you being upset about me going out with this guy ?" She countered.
"Mike told you." It was a statement not a question.
She nodded.
"Then yes I was ! We haven't talked ever since that night and yet you can go out with this guy !"
Here we go again. She thought. They weren't done yet.
"What does one have to do with the other Harvey ?"
"Everything !"
"No it doesn't. It has nothing to do with you whether I go out with someone or not. And you don't get to be angry. I told you we needed time." Donna said frustratingly.
"That was over a month ago Donna ! How much more time do we need ?" He asked.
"I don't know ! But you seem to be forgetting what happened before I said that." She said her anger at him and this situation returning.
"I remember what happened and I told you I was sorry !"
"And I told you that we couldn't just fix this with an apology." She gestured between them.
"You did after you kissed me." His tone slightly accusing.
"That was different." She said.
"How ?" He asked
"It just was."
The silence stretched.
"Harvey why did you kiss me ?" She dared and looked at him again.
He was struggling to find an answer. He didn't really know. He had followed his body, but maybe his brain had some role to play.
She was just looking at him. He couldn't answer her. He never was able to. Here they stood again. Things unresolved and unanswered. She couldn't do it anymore, he had just asked her to stay for him and told her he couldn't live without her. She didn't know if he actually meant it or if it was just a way to get them to talk. Him not knowing how to answer was a good reason to go. They couldn't tiptoe or go around this. They weren't the same as before.
She was starting to back off wanting to run. Not from her job, but from him.
He saw her retreating.
"Donna please."
"What Harvey ? You asked me to stay and yet here we are again and you can't answer me. Typical." She threw at him.
"I'm jealous Donna." He admitted.
She stood there, not saying anything. Waiting on bated breath for him to give her a reason why she shouldn't give up on him.
"I hated the idea of you and whoever that guy was. I'm still not entirely sure what I feel, but I know that he wasn't good enough for you." He stood there trying to get her to look at him.
"Harvey you don't even know who he is ! And I'm perfectly capable of deciding who's good enough for me or not." She kicked herself knowing that if she truly was capable then she would've left a long time ago.
"I don't have to know. Because no one will ever be good enough for you."
She looked at him then. Her eyes intense. Filled with all of those unsaid and undone things that kept them apart. And shock at this response. It wasn't like Harvey at all to say things like this. And yet she knew he meant it by the way he kept eye contact.
"Harvey you can't do that." She shook her head.
"Why not ?" His tone had dropped to that soft one he usually used with her.
"Because, like always you may mean it now, but tomorrow when I bring it up you'll skate over it like you always do !"
"I won't. Not this time." He cocked his head.
"What's different this time ?" She said. A plead behind the question.
"I know what I want this time round."
"And what is that Harvey ?" She was done fighting and pleading and looking for a reason to stay.
"A chance." He said.
"For what ?" She asked.
"To see if this could be more." He said and felt a boulder like weight had been taken off his chest.
She was shocked. He had shook her to her core. She now had more questions than ever. She didn't know how to react or what to say. There was still so much history between them and this could obliterate them if it went wrong. That is if she was willing to put them on the line again for the sake of her heart.
"Harvey..." She started.
He looked at her. He had realized last night that he had to come to this conclusion. They had been toeing this tightrope for months. He didn't want to lose her. He couldn't. Especially not to another guy. He wasn't completely sure about his feelings. But he knew he wanted to at least try. If he didn't he might always wonder and regret it. It had taken him 13 years to figure out that maybe he made a mistake by never crossing the line.
"I know trust me I do." He rubbed the back of his neck.
This was tricky. He had to be so careful. He had hurt her and them all this time and now he had the balls to finally try and make the pain worth it.
This could go either way and it scared him shitless to know that if she walked away this time she would never come back.
"What do you mean by a chance ?" She asked finally. Unsure but wanting to know what he meant.
"I don't know. Go on date maybe ?" He was very clearly nervous and unsure himself.
"A date ?" She rolled the thought around in her head.
Trying to wrap it around the idea and what had just happened. He'd never been like this before. He was a complete hardass always looking for a way to avoid his feelings especially towards her and now here he was asking her on a date. After months of war this was his suggestion. She had never imagined that this is where it would end.
"Yeah. You know dinner." He was trying to joke to make it easier, but this was millions of miles away from being easy.
"What if you realize that you don't want this Harvey ? We can't go back if we do this." She said sadly.
"Just have faith in me Donna." He asked her lightly.
He asked her to do the one thing he knew she always would have in him.
"Yes." She answered before she could convince herself that this was a bad idea.
"Are you doing anything tonight ?" He asked her then.
She immediately realized why he was asking.
"No I'm not." She answered honestly.
"Well then would you like to have dinner with me ?"
They had done a complete 180. In a matter of minutes.
She nodded slowly and she saw the hints of a smile for the first time in weeks.
He waited for her to collect her things. Like most nights they were the only people left.
He stood aside to let her walk in front. Strangely always a gentleman, for the most part if she remembered correctly. Her breath hitched as his hand touched against her lower back. Guiding her out the door.
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I want to start off by thanking the readers and reviewers ! You make my day and I appreciate it far beyond words.
Also this was another difficult chapter and it's really long. I hope you enjoy it and PLEASE review if you can. I love seeing what you think and it drives me to write more.
Also my beta is just amazing to say the least her help and support has made this possible ! Thank you !
Also just wanna mention Bewg and Ashadesofblue for the support also. It means a great deal coming form such great writers.