Author's Notes:

Really, really sorry for not uploading a bit earlier. Whenever I wanted to upload I just paused and thought "Wait... isn't it too early?" and ended up not uploading, but then it kept on happening...

And now I'm breaking the cycle!

Histories and Chemistries

XII

Opening her eyes were hard. Harder than it should be. Maybe it was because her head was pounding like crazy. Or maybe it was because every fiber of her fucking being hurt like hell.

A beat passed.

And then another.

And then she realized that she was on the couch. And she was wrapped in bandages all around her body. And that she was in Adora's house.

… She was in Adora's house.

Catra blinked her heterochromatic eyes.

She was in Adora's house.

Wait, was she-

Oh, wait a minute, false alarm. She still had her bra and pants on. That was kind of a disappointment if she were being honest-

Wait, why was she covered in bandages?! What the fuck happened-

Oh, yeah.

Shadow Weaver happened.

The Horde happened.

Getting beat up happened.

… She was in Adora's house.

Slowly, Catra put a hand over her head, gripping it with distress.

Shit… What happened?

She couldn't remember a thing after… well… the punches and kicks she gave… and the punches and kicks she was given in return…

And that was when she was awake enough to hear the shuffles coming from her right. Craning her neck as best she could, trying and failing to not hurt herself, she was greeted by the sight of Adora doing the most boring and evilest thing ever; cleaning the dishes.

Catra… was unsure of what to do at first. So she just watched as the blonde carefully washes the dishes from a distance. The longer she watched, the more she began to notice the small sniffles coming out of the girl's mouth and the red in her eyes.

She's been crying…

Oh, fuck. What did I do?

Deciding that she should break the silence, Catra said a simple "Hey, Adora", only now realizing just how dry her throat was. She winced and rubbed it immediately. How long have I been asleep?

Adora, upon hearing her voice, gasped and abandoned the dire task of washing dishes, rushing toward her and crouching so she was eye-level.

"Catra… Are you awake?"

"Yup" was her straightforward answer.

The blonde narrowed her eyes, unsure. "Are you actually awake or are you lucid and insisting that you're not?"

Catra looked down at herself, noticing just how painful everything was. If she really still was asleep then she wouldn't be able to feel those pain… or at least, she thought so. "Yeah, pretty sure I'm awake."

"Oh. Okay."

A beat passed.

And then another.

And then Adora poked her hard. On the cheek.

Catra yelped in pain and glowered at her. "What was that-"

"Do you have any idea how scared I was?!" Adora stood up, fists clenched, breathing heavy. "To see you like that?! You could've- you almost-"

"Adora." Her voice was firm as she stared up at the blonde levelly. "We both know The Horde won't go that far. I'm fine. Everything's okay."

"NO, IT'S NOT!"

A beat passed.

Catra pursed her lips, noticing the water that began to form on her blue eyes.

Another beat passed.

Adora wiped those tears away and held her ground, trying and failing to glare down at her.

"You're not fine, Catra," she almost whispered, her voice trembling. "How can you even say that?"

Catra clenched her jaw, her eyes roaming throughout the room, trying to find her words.

"Well… I'm still breathing…" was her weak excuse.

"Barely," snapped Adora. She then ran her finger through her blonde hair, sighing, looking defeated. "This…" She vaguely gestured toward Catra. "This isn't okay, so please, don't ever say that it is."

Catra stared as she tried to hold herself together. Barely.

She hugged herself and refused to meet her unevenly-colored eyes, biting her lip.

Catra swallowed before - out of her need to comfort the girl rather than honesty - saying, "I'm sorry."

Suddenly, Adora's rage returned, and she growled, clenching her fists, tilting her chin up. "Sorry doesn't cut it. I know Shadow Weaver did this to you." Catra's heart skipped a beat. "I know she threatened you a week ago." Catra's heart skipped another beat. "What I want to know is why you never told anyone." Her eyes narrowed, pain flashed in them. "Even me."

Catra opened and closed her mouth, not knowing what to say, not knowing how to comprehend the bundle of emotions that was Adora.

"Because I had it under control," she rasped out.

Adora chuckled grimly, shaking her head as she put her hand on her temple. "No, you didn't. I know you didn't. You have a secret. A large secret you don't want anyone to know. A secret Shadow Weaver knows and used against you. Because that's why you didn't tell anyone." "I know, Catra." "What I want to know is what you're hiding from everyone. Especially me."

"Adora… I can't…"

Adora dropped to her knees and grabbed her hands, clasping them gently but firmly. With tear-streaked eyes, she asked, "Why? It's just me, Catra."

For a long while, Catra simply stared.

"... And that's exactly why I can't tell you."

Adora's eyes widened ever-so-slightly, her lips parting. Thousands of emotions painted her face in such short seconds before she closed her eyes and looked away. "Fine, if you don't want to tell me, then I guess I'll just have the only other person who knows whatever this huge secret is."

It took her a beat of a second to realize who this person was. "No, wait, Adora- no-"

"You can't stop me, Catra."

"She's Shadow Weaver, Adora!" she screamed, propping herself up with her elbows despite the pain, watching as Adora grabbed her jacket. "She's dangerous!"

"You think I don't know that?" Catra was taken aback by the fury raging in those eyes as Adora stared down at her. "You think you can just boss me around, telling me what to do and what not to do? Grow up, Catra! I used to be just like you! In fact, I was way worse than you!"

The worst part was how true it all was.

Catra was never the strongest, nor the fastest, nor even the most ruthless.

All of those titles belonged to Adora.

The princess had a grim look on her face despite a tear shedding. "You can't keep doing this to me. I'm fed up with this. Fed up with you."

"... I know I've never been good to you, Adora. But please, don't… don't go."

Adora looked offended by her words. "What are you talking about, Cat? You've always been good to me."

Catra set her mouth on a thin line. "Don't go, Adora. I don't want you to know. You can't know."

For the first time in maybe forever… Catra begged.

Adora stood there, shocked.

And slowly, that shock morphed into sadness.

And even more slowly, that sadness morphed into determination.

Catra knew the look she was wearing. And she didn't like it.

"Adora…"

The blonde was already putting on her boots, dusting away the wrinkles in her clothes. "I want to help you. Let me help you."

When she was deemed ready, she walked back to the couch, crouching down, caressing her black tresses. Catra subconsciously leaned toward her.

Adora leaned toward her as well. But it wasn't because she was being petted. No. It was because she wanted to kiss her.

Catra saw the closed eyes and the plucked lips and her breath hitched.

She pulled away, distraught, watching as Adora blinked her eyes open, looking almost hurt, before wearing a resigned smile, pecking her forehead instead.

Catra stared at her, not knowing what to say, watching as the girl went to the door.

It was only when she left was Catra able to speak.

"... You'll either help me or hate me. I don't know which is worse."

To be Continued

Author's Notes:

Yeah… That happened. Poor Catra.