Chapter Three

Just Don't Mention It

To say that things got awkward between Kaoru and Kenshin after that night would be an understatement. They started avoiding one another like the other person was the black plague. Whenever one of them would walk into the room where the other was, one of the two adults would instantly come up with a reason why they could no longer stay and so on.

It didn't take long before Sanosuke noticed their strange behaviour. Even Misao, who by then had become Sano's good drinking buddy and the frequent visitor to the small apartment he and the red-haired man shared, started feeling suspicious about the look on her best friend's face whenever the redhead would be mentioned.

Both Sanosuke and Misao hinted at this notion to the people in question many times, but neither the dark-haired female nor the violet-eyed man would budge. They were incredibly good at evasion: with ease would change the topic or find some kind of excuse for their actions. This annoyed both of the drinking buddies, however, they could never truly do anything about it more than irritate their friends into confessing whatever there was to confess.

But one time Misao came out victorious and ended up cornering Kaoru. That night, as the two females shared a family sized pizza, the bright-eyed female finally told about the kiss she and Kenshin had shared that night, almost three months ago now.

She had whispered those words breathlessly, almost hoping that Misao would not be able to catch them. Though, of course, she wasn't so lucky.

The young university student herself, never truly understood why she gave in to her best friend that time. Though it was a tedious task, it was never that hard to get Misao off track, until, that is, the next time she would start interrogation anew. Kaoru's best guess was that she was simply tired that day. Tired from her job, tired of the studies, the constant awkwardness and simply lying.

And maybe, also tired from trying to figure out what was it that she truly felt.

By then, the young female was no longer dating her art student. A month ago, he left for an exchange program, and though at first, the two of them were determined to have a long-distance relationship, both of them knew that the feelings they shared simply weren't intense enough for such a commitment.

To be honest, Kaoru had mixed feelings regarding her art student's decision to study abroad. The young bright-eyed woman felt relieved because she no longer needed to live a lie, but also angry and disappointed because it made her feel as if she was cast aside.

When Misao realised that Kaoru had admitted to being kissed by Kenshin, she could feel her jaw dropping. The young woman knew perfectly well about the crush her best friend used to have on the older man and could see a certain fondness in the redhead's eyes whenever he caught a glimpse of Kaoru, but never expected their relationship to develop into something more. Mostly, because both parties involved refused to come clean about their feelings to one another.

But the shock of it didn't stop the young free-spirited woman from being extremely happy for her friend. After finally knocking out of it, Misao had responded to the news with a smile and inquired Kaoru what she was planning to do from then on.

...∽∾●∾∼...

Sano, however, was a whole different deal. When Misao spilled the beans the very next day over the drinks in one of the bars they were regulars at, he was livid. The rooster head even hit the red-haired man square in the jaw, once he came back home.

"I'm sorry." Was the only thing the shorter man managed to force himself to say after receiving the said punch.

Kenshin didn't need to ask his friend what brought on his actions, as it perfectly reflected on his face. Or maybe, they just knew each other well enough to communicate without those useless words.

"You think sorry's gonna cut it?!" The enraged man shouted. "Who are you to think that playing with my sister, while you so clearly have a girlfriend, is okay as long as you feel – no, say – that you're sorry?!"

Sano stared at the bleeding man standing in front of him and cursed inwardly. This is precisely why he never wanted his sister to get involved with any of his friends, even if he teased many of them, offering to set up a date, whenever they brought Kaoru up. He knew, that in the case that bright-eyed woman – who was still only a little girl in his mind – got hurt, he would have to choose between his friend and his family. And no matter how dear of a friend the person was, Sanosuke always knew that he would choose his sister.

"I wasn't trying to play her." Kenshin finally responded after wiping the blood off his lower lip.

The red-haired man knew that the best course of action was to let his friend blow off some steam and end it there, while keeping his mouth shut, be he was also doubtful that their friendship would ever be the same if he did so.

"Then, please do tell, what were you trying to do?!" The taller man stormed.

"I think... I think, I actually like her." The redhead confessed.

This statement earned Kenshin another punch, but this time he managed to avoid it. After cursing at him for a bit more, Sano retreated into his room, banging the door as hard as he could, in anger that still hadn't passed.

...∽∾●∾∼...

During the months after this confrontation, Kenshin tried to decide what to do with the realisation he came to while arguing with Sanosuke. At the time, those words thoughtlessly left his mouth, no matter how unlike him it was, and the redhead didn't fully comprehend their meaning until the heat of the had moment passed.

Due to this and many other reasons his head had become a complete mess. He didn't have the slightest idea how to patch up his relationship with Sano, as they were still engaged in a passive-aggressive battle of wills. He also didn't know what to tell Megumi or how to act around Kaoru.

In fact, after the night when he shared the kiss with Kaoru, the red-haired man was spending less and less time with the young doctor. On his part, it was mostly due to the guilt from the previously mentioned act, however, Megumi also didn't show much desire to meet up often. And well, they were also preoccupied with work.

When they ended up finally arranging a meeting, all the redhead could say was apologize, just as he had to Sanosuke.

To be completely honest, Kenshin was starting to get tired of repeating the same phrase over and over again, but he truly did not know what else to say. After all, he couldn't tell the young woman that he had kissed Kaoru. He had no desire to hurt Megumi's feelings by admitting that he fancied another. And the fact that Kenshin's feelings had gone cold – about which he ended up talking the most – wasn't a lie, just not the whole truth. He had felt their relationship becoming stale even before the said kiss.

The young doctor also admitted that even she herself no longer felt as strongly about the man sitting in front of her as she once did, claiming that it wasn't his fault, trying to rid the redhead of his guilt.

When the two of them went their separate ways, they did so without holding any grudges. They even promised to one another to stay friends, though truthfully, both of them perfectly knew that it wasn't very possible right now. Maybe, sometime in the distant future, or maybe just in a couple of years, but not now. Even if they didn't feel contempt toward the other person, neither of them truly knew how to act around one another as friends, with no awkwardness lingering in the air between them.

Though Kenshin and Megumi's relationship ended on friendly terms, the man knew it was still too early to feel relieved. His relationship with Sanosuke still hadn't gotten any better and the climate which enveloped their apartment reminded the shorter man of the Cold War. Though there were no physical actions, or straight out insults, there was this undeniable mood of underlying hostility between the two men.

However, even a bigger problem was Kaoru. He continued to avoid her as if his life depended on it, while the dark-haired woman acted no different, causing their encounters to become extremely rare. And even if they did end up meeting because of some kind of miracle and stay in the same room for more than five seconds, Kenshin didn't have a clue how to begin the conversation.

Apologize for so suddenly kissing her?

He could. That would be the most logical course of action, but wouldn't it give off the wrong impression? Wouldn't it make it seem as if he regarded the said kiss as a mistake?

Confess his feelings?

That also was a reasonable option. But what if she didn't feel the same as him? What if she thought about the kiss as a mistake? What if he seems like a fool who assigns too much significance to such a meaningless act?

And even if she felt the same, there still were many problems.

How would Sano react? The taller man had been ready to beat Kenshin to a bloody pulp when he found out about the kiss his best friend and Kaoru shared. Surely, he won't take kindly to it if they start going out.

And then, of course, there was the age gap. He was quickly approaching thirty and Kaoru... Well, would she really be happy with him? Sometimes, the redhead, without meaning to, would think of her as a young girl. As a high school student he met while she was staying at his and Sano's apartment. That girl full of excitement for the life ahead of her. Could he bear to see the light behind those beautiful blue eyes disappear if he is unable to give her what she needs?

Then maybe, it's best to continue ignoring this situation all together? Maybe that way, they could eventually get over the embarrassment which still enveloped them whenever they remembered that night.

But it has already been a while and nothing seemed to change. If anything, it only got worse with Sanosuke and Misao finding out about it.

...∽∾●∾∼...

For better or worse, after long weeks of vicious inner debate, fate had seemed to save the young lawyer from having to make the incredibly hard decision himself. Well, it wasn't as much as fate, only the wrong bus he got on one evening.

Kenshin saw Kaoru get on and was fully aware that the young female had noticed him as well, for their eyes met when she was searching for an empty seat. He knew, that she even noticed the empty seat next to him, but chose to feign ignorance and ended up sitting down at the very front of the bus, as far away from Kenshin as it was physically possible.

At first, Kenshin was not only surprised to see the woman on the same bus as him, but also a bit hurt by the fact that she practically ran away from him. Though he knew that it was only to be expected, after all, it had become a common practice over the last few months for the both of them.

Suddenly, the red-haired man was overwhelmed by a wave of courage. He was tired of those games and decided not to put off the conversation they were bound to have anyway, anymore. Hence, Kenshin got up from his seat and went to sit next to the dark-haired female.

Kaoru lifted those piercing blue eyes, staring at the older man's face.

"Let's talk." He offered.

At first, the young woman was set on refusing. She really didn't want to go through the embarrassment of hearing the man next to her apologize for kissing her that night. But what Kaoru hated even more was the current situation – the looming uneasiness whenever the two of them happened to be near each other and having to run away because she could no longer stand it.

Coming to the conclusion that both of them were grown up people – even though she doubted about herself regarding the fact – and that it's better to handle this situation as the adults they were, the young female agreed.

"When?" Kaoru inquired after hearing the man next to her breathe a sigh of relief.

She was a bit jealous and angry at his action. The young university student also wanted to feel relieved, but the emotions in the pit of her stomach were only worry and nervousness.

"How about now?" It took only moments for the red-haired man to speak.

"Now?" Kaoru was surprised.

"If you have time."

"Okay." She replied, slowly forming the word in her mouth.

In Kaoru's opinion, it would have been better if she got at least few days to mentally prepare herself, but maybe, finishing it off quickly, just like ripping off a band-aid, was a better course of action.

They got off at the next stop. There were still few stops left before Kaoru would have needed to get off and one too far for Kenshin to change busses. However, they didn't really think about that, as both were itching to be done with this ordeal as fast as they could.

"About the kiss..." The red-haired man began as he watched Kaoru sit down on the bench near the bus stop sign. "It wasn't a drunken mistake... I think, I actually like you."

A perplexed look was present on the dark-haired woman's face as she snapped her head up to look up at him.

"I just want you to know that." Kenshin didn't so much as glance at Kaoru as those words left his mouth.

For some reason, the redhead wasn't able to express his feelings accurately. Those few words he was able to mutter, did nothing to reflect the mysterious pull the woman had on him. It was as if he lost the gift of speech the very same moment he tried to convey the strange feeling, which, at least in his mind, though was less than love, had grown to be more than just like over the months of them playing the game of evasion.

But no matter how hard it was for him to make any kind of words leave his mouth, Kenshin didn't want to let Kaoru talk. He didn't want to know what she was thinking, at least not right away, because the red-haired man was almost sure that the words she would speak would be the words of rejection. And Kenshin was oh-so afraid of being rejected.

"Just... just let me think about what you've said first... It's quite a bit to take in." He heard her whisper softly, interrupting him as he was about to talk again.

Yes, he will let her decide. Just because he was a little bit older didn't mean that he was any wiser than her.

Kenshin finally looked down, seeing his roommate's little sister's face covered by her hair. She was playing with a rubber band in her hands, the same one which only a few minutes ago was holding up her hair in a high ponytail.

Even though Kaoru felt quite happy hearing Kenshin say that the kiss they shared was not meaningless, the young woman refused to let it show. She knew she felt something more for her brother's roommate than the mere affection one would hold towards a friend, but she just didn't know if the possible flame between them was worth the possible pain it might end in.

AN: I can't believe that it's the end of July already... The summer is passing by so quickly that I have no idea how to handle it. Every summer around this time I start feeling extremely sad and stress over returning to the real world, even though there's still a whole month left until the end of vacation.

Anyway, I hope I didn't bring you down with my depressing author's note and that you enjoyed the new chapter. Positive and negative comments are welcome.