AN: I didn't feel this story was finished. I'm still not sure it is. I hope you enjoy this new section. Any additions will be as my muse strikes, which is not all that often at the moment. My house has been on the market for several months and it looks like the apartment I made an offer on will expire before I sell. My son goes to High School next year and we have to sit the gifted and talented test to get into the institution that is apocopate for him. All in all, RL just isn't leaving me much time at the moment. Added to this, I'm wrapping up my parent's estate and will be going on holiday to scatter their ashes at sea in April. Anyway, enough of my troubles. Let's look in on Paris and Janeway.
Part Six: Accounting
"Your son! Kathryn," forgetting himself, the First officer paced the room in an agitated manner. Hands behind his back in an at ease position, the man appeared anything but. He'd read the files on each and every crewmember aboard, even starting some on his former Maquis colleagues. Yet this, fact, this relationship between them hadn't been anywhere, not even hinted at in the Captain or Paris's records. Astonished, astounded, stunned and speechless, Chakotay's mouth hung open while his mind tried to cope with this radical detail. Finally stopping dead before Kathryn's desk, gaze narrowed on the woman, he stuttered, "your forty-one, Tom's twenty-five, that would have made you…"
"Sixteen," Captain Janeway waited for the penny to drop. A slightly ironic smile playing about her lips. She expected this reaction, witnessing it many times before, starting with her own father.
"Paris-Janeway?" Chakotay demanded, his eyes pleading for an explanation. "Surely there were other options for a young girl, other than adopting the child out?"
"There were," Kathryn sighed while rolling her eyes. Allowing her tone to take on a self-effacing affect, she stated, "however by the time I realised, Tom already let his presence be known. I was sixteen weeks before I realised I was pregnant and it took me another three to tell anyone. Most of those weeks were spent in Starfleet medical, which makes the story astonishing."
"I don't understand," Chakotay's bewilderment permeated the room. He read her personnel file through several times in the last weeks hoping to get an idea of the type of woman at Voyager's helm. Her record was exemplary, unblemished. Yet, somehow, she'd managed to hide this revelation.
Smiling, Kathryn's eyes looked through the man to the wall beyond. Lost in internal recrimination and the past, her voice took on a faraway aspect. "I wasn't supposed to be on the Arias expedition. I wasn't even at Starfleet academy yet. My father managed to convince a friend to give his daughter some practical starship experience. It didn't quiet end the way anyone wanted." Sighing heavily, her attention recalled to the present, Kathryn watched Chakotay with cautious eyes, unsure what he would do with this information. "Anyway, if you can do the calculation, I'm sure the rest of the crew won't be far behind. I haven't made a public announcement about my son, but Tom and I haven't kept the closeness of our relationship a secret either."
"Paris?" the First Officer finally found the words to ask the question at the forefront of his mind. "Am I to understand Admiral Owen Paris is Tom's father." When the Captain nodded, Chakotay finally became silent. A concerned and intrigued expression covering his face. The man had to be thirty years older than Kathryn and he'd been the Captain of the vessel sent on the Arias expedition.
"Don't ask for the details," Kathryn's voice became hard and unyielding. "I've only just had the courage to tell my son about the circumstances surrounding his conception. Both my father and Admiral Paris felt it would be to Tom's advantage to bring him up in a family environment, without any contact from his biological mother."
"I observed, first hand," Chakotay stated acidly, "how that turned out."
"Do you think it was any easier for me," the tone became deadly quiet, "siting back and watching my son self-destruct? Why do you think I moved hell and the Starfleet administration to get my son a second chance on this ship?"
Before Chakotay could formulate an answer, a chime from the ready room door interrupted their conversation. Kathryn called 'come', regretting how much she'd told Chakotay about her private life. Yet, as First Officer he had to know the truth. The relationship between the men tense at best, these new facts put Chakotay in a difficult position. He would need to act as Thomas Paris-Janeway's intermediary with the Captain in a professional capacity. Eyes widening, the First Officer knew further discussion on this subject was out of bounds.
"M…Captain," the object of their discussion entered, abruptly becoming very formal in his address. "Commander."
"Mr. Paris-Janeway," Chakotay returned, suddenly feeling superfluous with the curious gaze Tom directed at his mother. "If you'll excuse me, Captain?"
Nodding in dismissal, Kathryn Janeway's eyes were only for her son. Twenty-five years without him in her life and she'd yet to accept the emotions of joy every time Tom came into her line of sight. They heard Chakotay depart before Tom allowed his posture to become more natural.
"You told him."
"I didn't have a choice," Kathryn sighed, indicating Tom should approach and give her a hug. They'd become more affectionate, spending at least two evenings together each week. There never seemed enough time to say all those things that had built up over a lifetime. "I'm not sure how your new name got into general circulation, but it was bound to happen eventually."
Shrugging, Tom grinned. "I think Harry might be the cultrate. I'm learning that he can't keep a secret."
"Ensign Kim is rather," Kathryn chuckled, "honest."
"It's 1930, ship time," the younger man chastised, suddenly changing the subject.
Allowing her eyebrow to rise, the Captain answered her son's rebuke.
"You know, our relationship was always going to get out," Tom settled on the corner of her desk. "Is that what Chakotay was in here doing? Trying to find out why half the crew is calling me Two-Dad's."
"Yes," Kathryn drank in the sight before her. Lifting a hand to her cheek, she allowed herself the guilty pleasure of watching. Each and every small nuance intrigued her, wondering when and where her son picked up some of his mannerisms.
"You told him?" Tom's tone was jovial, but the concern showed in his blue eyes. When Kathryn agreed silently, the Con Officer's posture slumped. "Well, there goes my reputation."
She couldn't help herself. Captain Kathryn Janeway laughed, hard. "So, the crew though you were for filling another role in my life."
Joining her hilarity, Tom chuckled. "So, rumour has it." Sobering quickly, he shook his head. "I guess our weekly dinner is off." Yet there was a pleading expression in his eyes, as if Thomas Paris expected to be abandoned once again.
"I think," Janeway stood and approached the son she'd never held, or watched grow into a man, "you are going to be my human credential out here."
Shock covered the young man's face. Looking slightly confused, Tom requested, "how?"
"The Admiralty all knew you were Owen and my son. They were aware of the circumstances behind your conception. As I said, it was the reason you were treated so badly during your court martial over the Caldik Prime incident," Kathryn frowned. "Owen and I hoped serving on Voyager as an observer, learning about our relationship might be a new beginning for you, a second chance to prove the man you really are. Being stuck in the Delta quadrant," the Captain's grey gaze board into the man before her, trying to make him understand, "will give us time to come to know each other, Tom."
"I'm the only person you can be yourself with," he suddenly realised. Without the backup of a command structure, each and every decision concerning Voyager and her crew lay with his mother. As did the responsibility for that choice. When they returned to Earth, Starfleet would scrutinise each aspect of her conduct. Thomas Paris-Janeway would give the woman a little opportunity to be human.
Linking her arm with her son, Kathryn Janeway directed them toward the rear entrance to her ready room. Waiting until they were in the turbolift, she finally spoke. "You're the only person on this ship I'm allow to have a relationship with, Tom. Believe me, I intend to use the time to get to know you, to make up for the last twenty-five years I was forced out of your life. Now that I'm in it, I have no intention of allowing anyone to come between us again."
"I have to tell you about Mrs. Green," Tom smile at the memory. Although his mother gave him a curious gaze, he waited until they were seated at the table in her private quarters before he stated to speak of the only woman he'd ever trusted. It turned out to be a very long night, as Thomas Paris recounted the happiest memories of his childhood.
After he left, Kathryn Janeway sat beneath her window for hours, contemplating the information she'd learnt. She listened to every word, heard the heartbreak and loneliness permeating each sentence and finally allowed her own guilt to surface once again. I promise, she silently declared, I am going to help you overcome the damage done to your spirit. As you will become my human credential, I have every intention of becoming yours.