A.N: Hey guys!! I promised you to update the story this week end if I got enough comments well…Here you go. I hope you're going to enjoy this chapter. It's full of angst I know but well it's life isn't it?

Anyways don't forget to review and show me some love…I need some lol. More reviews I get the faster I'll update.

I would like to dedicate this chapter to Kelly and Allie for supporting me and I also want to dedicate it to all the readers who are reading and reviewing this story. You guys rock! You Don't know what it means to me!!

Chapter 19: Love will tear us apart.

Nathan drove to Haley's trying to find an excuse on how to get in her room. He hoped someone was there, because he couldn't imagine having to sneak in again. What would he said if he got caught?

Nathan knocked and was greeted by Karen's bright smile. Haley did inherit her smile he thought smiling back.

"Hey Nate…Neither of my kids are here," Said Karen with a laugh.

"Oh…Okay…" Said Nathan uncomfortably, racking his brain and trying to think of an excuse. "Well I just needed to pick up a book from Haley's room," He said looking everywhere except in her eyes.

"Oh that's fine!" Said Karen moving from the door and letting him in. "I've got to go, but close the door behind you when you leave, it will lock." She added looking at her watch. "Gladys the waitress finished in15 minutes and I really need to be there."

"Are you sure you don't mind?" Asked Nathan sincerely.

"Don't be silly. I trust you like my own children" Said Karen sincerely picking up her bag. "You're family Nate," she told him padding his arm. "Take your time," she added taking her car keys and leaving Nathan alone in the house.

Nathan walked slowly to Haley's bedroom; he was dreading going in there. Once he was in there he took a look around, it was so organized, so beautiful, he could smell the mix of her shampoo, shower gel and perfume. This unique sent that was driving him crazy.

Once he got to the front of her desk he sat on the chair and kept his eyes on her London tablemat. He took a deep breath, hesitating to look under it. He knew that if he did it there was no turning back. He wouldn't be able to ignore it anymore. If nothing was under the mat he would have doubted Haley and that was bad, but if Rachel was right it was even worse. He would be the cause of Haley abandoning all her dreams and he wasn't sure he would be able to handle that.

He put his hand on the mat and looked at it shaking in anticipation. After a while he finally took a deep breath and lifted it. He saw a letter carefully folded.

Nathan took it and started to read it, after a while he threw it on the desk.

"Damn it Haley!!" Shouted Nathan with anger and pain. "It's unfair!!" He added sitting down and letting his hands run up and down on his face. "You can't forget what makes you unique. Not for me!! I'm not worth it." He added loudly.

Nathan put the letter back under her mat and left the house as fast as he could. He felt like his head was about to explode and his thoughts were all over the place.

As soon as he sat in his car Nathan took out his cell. "Hey Luke Man I'm sorry, but I've got to bail on you guys tonight." He said on Lucas' voicemail. "I've got something I can't cancel." He added.

There was only one person who could help him; someone close enough to care, but not related enough to be bias…. Coach Whitey Durham.

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"Ohmygosh!!" Shouted Brooke. "You really did it?? I so thought you would chicken out!!" She added impressed.

"What? I can be a bad ass too you know!" Added Haley trying to look at her lower back in the mirror. "I hope Nathan's going to like it." She added with a smile looking at the "23" she just tattooed on her lower back. Right now it was a bit red and sore, but it should be good by tomorrow night, for their romantic evening.

"Sure Nathan's going to like that!" Said Brooke seriously. "But you know who won't?" She added mysteriously. "Your crazy brother…Lucas." She added grimacing anticipating his angry response to Haley's new tattoo.

"Whatever!" Said Haley shrugging her shoulders and looking at her tattoo again. "I did this for me, it's my body and I'm 18." Added Haley standing straight. "I'm not scared!"

"Oh Ok!" Said Brooke pretending to look away. "So I can tell to your bro that you got a tattoo?" She added looking at Haley from the corner of her eye.

"What? NO!" Shouted Haley. "He's going to kill me!!" She added seriously.

Brooke burst into laugher. "You're sooo not scared!" She said with tears in her eyes from laughing so hard.

Haley burst into laugher too. "Well…Ok…Maybe I'm a tiny bit scared." She said wrapping her arm around Brooke's shoulders as they left the mall still laughing.

"I love you Bff." Said Brooke honestly. "Please don't ever lie to me again." She added suddenly serious

"I won't," said Haley drying her tears. "And you know…." She added wanting to go back to the lighter tone. "I technically didn't lie I…. just hid the truth."

Brooke gave Haley a dark look before sitting on the car.

"A bit too soon to laugh about it huh?" Asked Haley.

"Ehhh…" Said Brooke. "Just a tat…" She added closing the distance between her thumb and index finger. "But you know…. You should totally be a lawyer with this way of thinking."

Haley laughed at Brooke's comment. "So I've been told!!" She said remembering her brother's remark.

They made their way back to Haley's house and decided to spend a real girls night with plenty of ice cream and chick flicks.

"Peyton will be here soon." Said Haley looking at the clock in her kitchen while preparing their little snacks. "But…" She turned to Brooke. "Do you think the tattoo is a mistake?" She finally asked her best friend nervously.

Brooke looked at Haley for a while and shrugged. "Honestly I dunno Hales." She said nicely. "I've got a tattoo myself, but this one's really personal you know. It's a declaration of love."

Haley smiled at this comment; it was exactly what it was for her. "Yeah it is…" She confirmed.

"And well…. You know a tattoo is permanent." Added Brooke uncomfortably. "We're only 18 and even if I wish it from the bottom of my heart. We don't know if Nathan and you will last as long as this tattoo." Said Brooke looking down and pointing to the 23.

"Oh!" Said Haley understanding where Brooke wanted to go. "And you 're scared that if one day we break up I'll regret this tattoo don't you?" She asked nicely taking Brookes' hands.

Brooke nodded.

"Don't worry about it." Said Haley sincerely. "You know I really think Nathan's the love of my life but…" She slightly shrugged. "If we don't make it, it will be enough for me to wake up in 1, 5, 10 years from now and remember how in love, how blessed, how confident I felt when I was with him." She sighed "and you know it can also be a way to remember the past and not let history repeat itself."

"But I know you guys are gonna make it." Said Brooke sincerely. "Let's face it if Naley can't make it nobody can!!" Added Brooke with a laugh.

At this moment someone rang the doorbell.

"And a tortured Artist! One special delivery!!" Laughed Brooke going to open the door to Peyton.

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Nathan knocked on Whitey's door; he didn't know how the coach was going to react to his visit.

"Well… well… well…" Said the Coach opening the door. "I was hoping for a booty call." He added jokingly, "What does Nathan Scott, the future blue devil star, want from an old man like me?" Asked Whitey curiously.

Nathan started to move uncomfortably in his spot. "Can I come in?" He asked.

Whitey saw his discomfort and frowned letting him in, he closed the door. "So superstar? What do you want?"

"I need you to get me into Stanford." Said Nathan straight away. He knew that he didn't need to wear gloves with Whitey.

Whitey looked at Nathan with incredulity for a couple of seconds before he burst into laugher. "That's a good joke Nate!" He said shaking his head. "I almost fell for it!" He added still laughing. However once he saw that Nathan wasn't laughing, he actually saw the pain in his eyes. "You…you're not joking?" He asked incredulous.

Nathan shook his head negatively. "No I'm not," he said his voice broken with emotion.

"But…How? Why?" Asked Whitey sitting on his armchair. "For the last four years you just didn't stop with 'the plan'" said Whitey using the quote fingers. "It was high School, Duke and the NBA, and you pissed me off for months in order for me to call the scouts and now you're in and you want Stanford?"

"It…It wasn't my plan!" Said Nathan in a plea. "It was my dad's plan! And well…sometimes plans need to be rearranged." He added sitting down.

"Is there a little blonde cutie involved in that?" Asked Whitey eyeing Nathan. "I thought Miss. James was going to Duke too! Lucas told me."

"She got into Stanford…Full scholarship!" Said Nathan who couldn't help the pride in his voice. "And…and I don't want her to sacrifice her dream for me." He shook his head. "No she has too much to offer the world."

"Oh…. And Miss James wants to go?" Asked Whitey

"No she doesn't… Well yeah she does, but she's sacrificing it for me." He said sadly "I can't let her do that!"

"Why's that?" Asked Whitey curiously. "Why can't you let her go to Duke?"

"Why? Because I love her!" Stated Nathan like if it was evidence. "She dreamt of Stanford for as long as I can remember and I don't want her to give up the things that makes her who she is…the person I fell in love with!" Nathan took a deep breath. "Imagine I'm not turning out to be the man she thought I could be I would die if she regretted her choice, and I couldn't stand it if she resented me because of it. I…I don't want to take the risk." He added both confused and sad.

Whitey nodded sadly for his star player. He could see himself at that age, he had the same light in his eye when he talked about Camilla and their love was still there, beyond death. "But... But what makes you think it wont be the same for you ma'boy?" Asked Whitey nicely. "If the things don't turn out the way you want them to turn out you can resent or regret not going to Duke."

"I don't care where I play as long as I play!" Said Nathan. "And when I win a game and look into her eyes full of love and pride it all make sense then." Nathan smiled. "I realized that it wasn't right before I had her into my life. She's the one I want standing next to me when all my dreams come true." Added Nathan lost in his thoughts.

Whitey sighed. "I'm sorry boy, but there's nothing I can do for you." He said sincerely sad.

"What? Why?" Asked Nathan almost shouting

"We're playing the semi-finals in two weeks and if we're lucky the final in a month Nate." Whitey shook his head. "The big colleges like Duke or Stanford already made their offers son and…" Whitey sighed seeing the pain on Nathan's face. "And I can't see you getting out of the offer Duke made to you." He added grimacing.

"No it's impossible!" Said Nathan in total denial, shaking his head. "It's over just like that?" He asked in total disbelief.

"Well I can promise to try," said Whitey seeing so much distress on his face that he would have felt like a monster to take all hope away. "But…But you shouldn't expect too much…It's…. Only a miracle could help you at this point." He added nicely, remembering how it would have been heartbreaking to lose Camilla back in High School.

Nathan sat back on his seat and rested his head on the back looking at the ceiling, His eyes filled up with tears. "So I don't have a choice then…"

"Well you've got a choice son…If Miss James doesn't know that you know the truth you've got the choice. And…"

"Right!" Said Nathan cutting Whitey off. "Or I'm being selfish and in order to live my dream to the fullest I let Haley give up the things she always wanted in order to follow me to Duke, and I just pray that she won't ever regret it or resent me. OR I can push her to go to Stanford in order to live the dream she earned and deserves to live more then anyone else, and each mile she will be taking away from me is going to break my heart and dreams a little more?" Asked Nathan sarcastically.

"I never said it was an easy choice Nathan," said Whitey standing up. "I said you had a choice to make and you've got to make it fast." He added nicely.

"I…" Nathan stood up. "Yeah…thank you." He added in a desperate tone. "Thank you for listening to me." He added walking to the door. "I…I know what I should do."

"Don't do anything tonight you're too emotional. Go to bed and sleep. You'll see things clearer tomorrow." Added Whitey padding his shoulder

"Yeah right…" Said Nathan nodding and leaving. His head was completely messed up and he knew that tomorrow it would still be the same, and it would only be getting worse.

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Haley woke up with some kind of weird feeling deep in her stomach. She looked at her cell again and sighed.

"Something's wrong…." She said to herself. Usually Nathan was always sneaking in after his guy's night and she waited for him last night. She even called twice and sent him a text, but she didn't want to insist too much and be one of those crazy over possessive girlfriends.

She got dressed, jumped in the car with Lucas and arrived to school as on autopilot. She looked around for Nathan, but didn't see him. She frowned and decided to go to class.

She saw Nathan at lunchtime, but he was pretty distant, like he really wanted to avoid her. This thought really saddened Haley, but at least he didn't cancel his night with her.

At the end of the day, Brooke saw Haley's worries; She gave Jake a quick kiss and told him they would be meeting later tonight.

"So J…What's is worrying you?" asked Brooke nicely wrapping an arm around Haley's shoulders.

"I…dunno…" Said Haley sincerely, "I've got this feeling in my stomach since this morning and I just can't get rid of it. There's something wrong with Nate." Said Haley uncomfortably.

"And you just noticed that?" Asked Brooke trying to joke, but seeing Haley's concerned face she stopped straight away. "Aww hun…I'm sure it's going to be ok." Said Brooke positively. "You know it's Whitey last year and Nathan being co-captain and all the pressure," Said Brooke trying to relinquish some of the tension and hugging her friend tighter. "I'm sure tonight you'll help him chill…" Said Brooke winking.

"You think?" Asked Haley biting her bottom lip nervously.

"Yeah I do… you'll see tonight everything will be fine…Nothing bad can happen to Naley." Added Brooke confidently, "They are making us believe in true love…." She added with a sincere smile.

"I hope you're right…" Added Haley with the best smile she could make.

"Let me drive you home," said Brooke taking her best friend hand, "then I'll help you dress up for your romantic night…. Which is kind of stupid because we spend time dressing you and the only thing you two are going to do is undress each other!!" She added with a laugh.

"Brookie!!" Shouted Haley with a laugh.

"What? It's not true? Anyways I'm sure he's going to even more after seeing your tattoo." Added Brooke nodding with a naughty smile. "I totally want the details girlie." She added looking at Haley from the corner of her eye.

"Nuh huh," Said Haley pretending shock.

"We'll see about that tutor slut!" Added Brooke laughing even more.

Haley shook her head. Of course she was going to give some details to Brooke.

Haley arrived at Nathan's house a bit early, She was excited to see what he organized, but also worried because the feeling she had in her stomach all day was still there.

Nathan opened the door and Haley could see straight away the worries and pain in his eyes.

Haley walked in and saw that he was not dressed any special and the house didn't look special either. She turned around and looked at Nathan. She took a deep breath before she got the courage to talk.

"Listen Nate I can see something's wrong and…I need you to open up." She said her worries showing in her voice, while she kept playing with her pinkie ring. "Anything it is I can take it." She added trying to sound far more sure then she was.

Nathan looked at her for a minute. He wanted to engrave this moment in his head, her hair, her eyes, and her graceful body. Gosh I love her so much! He thought feeling his heart breaking in his chest, but there was no turning back now. "I did something and I can't take it back." He said mysteriously.

"I...I don't understand," Said Haley confused.

"I'm sorry Haley, but…But we're done." Said Nathan looking down, he didn't want to see the pain in her eyes and he didn't want her to see the pain in his. "I love you, but…but I don't love you enough…" He added wanting to cry. His pain of sacrificing the best thing that he ever had…. The love of his life, Haley James.

In next chapter: Who will help you to stand when it all falls apart?