A.N: Hey guys. WOW….I was so happy with all the reviews! You guys are so fantastic that I decided to update again sooner & i made it extra long :-).
So here we go, with a chapter that was really really hard to write for me!
Anyways don't forget to review and tell me what you think! For each review I'll give you a cookie and I'll update sooner as you know.
A special thank to Allie for correcting this chapter (love you Edward lover!!) for me as my usual rocking beta is busy right now.
Take care,
Thanks again to you for bringing such a big smile on my face.
Chapter 20 : When it all falls apart.
Haley frowned. It was like the ground just opened under her feet to swallow her in another dimension. She shook her head vigorously like she was trying to wake up from an awful dream.
''I…No Nate…'' She said not even knowing why. ''It can't be over!'' She added numbly. ''Not after everything that has been said! Not after everything you said!'' She added as a last plea.
Nathan looked down. He wanted to die, seeing the pain in her eyes was too hard to bare. He wanted her to get mad, to insult him, but not to be sad. ''I…I cheated on you last night Hales.'' He lied. ''I tried to be the guy you deserved but I just can't… Not yet anyway. I…''
''You cheated on me? You fucking cheated on me!'' Shouted Haley the voice full of pain and anger. Her chest was hurting and she couldn't even catch her breath. All of her dreams, her entire life was falling apart. ''No… You couldn't have done something like that to me….Please tell me your lying! Tell me that what I saw in you was not just an illusion.'' She added with tears falling down her cheeks.
''It's just…'' He was still looking down. ''We're young and with college and all I freaked out. I mean we're talking about sharing a flat. It will be like we're married and…I just don't love you enough for that. I thought I did but…'' .He took a deep breath and finally look up to see her face distort with pain , incertitude, disappointment and anger. ''I think we should go to college single.''
''I….I can't believe I was that wrong about you. What about all the things we shared? What about always and forever?'' She asked the voice shivering as she tried to hold in her tears.
''I tried…to be the man you saw in me, but I guess I'm just not.'' He added, trying to hold her glance but it was burning him. You are and always will be my forever. He added to himself.
''I guess you're not!'' Said Haley, her voice quivering with pain. ''I just can't believe that you're the Nathan I love!'' She added while she felt her tattoo burn her lower back. It was like the ink wanted to escape from a skin in order to erase her mistakes. ''You win Nathan… you're going to college single'' she added really breaking into tears running out of the house.
Haley didn't really know where she was running to. She was not really seeing anything in between her tears and she was running so fast that her lungs were on fire.
She couldn't believe it, her Nathan…the man who swore to love her forever and to never make her cry cheated on her and broke up with her.
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Haley stopped in front a door, she didn't even notice, but she ran to Brooke's house. She knocked as hard as she could, shouting to Brooke to open up.
As soon as Brooke opened the door Haley fell on her knees and cried even more.
''Haley! What happened?'' asked Brooke with panic in her voice kneeling in front of her friend. ''Come on Haley talk to me!'' Asked Brooke looking at Jake standing behind her. He was re-buttoning his shirt.
Haley looked at Brooke. ''Oh Brookie…People were right, there is no pain like a broken heart.'' She finally managed to say between two sobs.
''What the Hell Haley?'' Asked Brooke trying to help Haley's up but she was still on the floor, on Brookes door step, sobbing
''Make the pain stop Brookie!'' Said Haley holding her chest. ''Please you have to help me…I can't breath anymore. It hurts!'' She added looking both at Brooke and Jake the eyes red with tears running on her cheeks. ''He promised me forever…He took that from me…Just stop the aching please!'' added Haley the voice full of pain looking down again.
Jake's heart broke in his chest, he never saw that much pain before.
''Help me!'' Pleaded Brooke looking at him with hope.
Jake nodded and lifted Haley from the floor, holding her tight in his arms he brought her to Brooke's bedroom and put her delicately on the bed. Some music was playing in the background and candles were lit around the bedroom.
Brooke lay beside Haley and hugged her tight. ''I'm here….'' She said rocking her best friend in her arms. ''Tell me what's wrong…'' She added with tears in her eyes.
Jake couldn't help but get teary eyes too, seeing them like that was just breaking his heart. He sat on the bed looking to the best friends.
"Come on sweetie….Talk to me." Said Brooke again nicely stoking Haley's hair.
"He…He dumped me!" Said Haley between two sobs.
"What?" Asked both Brooke and Jake.
"No, it's impossible he loves you!" Said Brooke in total shock.
"He said that he didn't love me enough" said Haley with the face still buried on Brooke chest. "He said that he couldn't be the man I wanted him to be…He cheated on me last night," added Haley, crying even more. Saying those words broke her heart again.
"Huh?" Asked Brooke like she didn't understand. She heard it too well but she just couldn't believe that Nathan would do something like that. "It's impossible, it …it was guy night!" added Brooke, looking at Jake.
Jake shook his head negatively.
What mouthed Brooke to him.
Jake stood up and walked to Brooke in order to whisper in her hear. "He didn't show up last night."
Brooke looked at Jake and redden with anger. "Oh he is soooo dead!" She said coldly.
"I forgot my car there." Added Haley like she didn't hear Jake or Brooke comment.
"I'll go pick up your car sweetie." Said Brooke trying to calm her anger but she couldn't help her voice from shivering. "Jake is going to stay with you." She added looking to Jake.
"Of course," said Jake with a sad smile. Since he was dating Brooke, him and Haley became really close friends and he never thought that he could feel some so contrary but powerful feelings at the same time. He was heart broken to see his friend that much in pain and he was really angry with Nathan. How could he do something like that to her?
Brooke moved nicely from the bed as Jake took her spot.
"I'll be back in a few hun don't worry, I'll just go pick up your car." Said Brooke nicely. And I'm going to have a word with the man-whore. She added to herself leaving the room.
Jake just held Haley tight, not really knowing what to say. She just needed to know that her friends where there for her.
"It's going to be ok…" He said nicely in a stupid attempt to comfort her.
Haley looked up. She was still crying, but she seemed calmer. "How do you know?" She asked the eyes full of interrogation. "Please tell me that it's going to stop hurting inside." She added bringing her hand to her chest.
"I don't know how Hales," said Jake nicely. "All I know is that time heals every wound."
Haley looked at him minute more before laying her head on his chest again. "Thank you for being here, Thanks for being my friend." She added sincerely. Thinking how lucky she was to have such wonderful people in her life. She didn't know how she would be right now without Brooke and Jake.
"I'm glad to be here…I'm glad to be your friend," he said closing his eyes.
Haley was quiet now, they could finally hear the music in the room.
"I can turn it off if you want." Proposed Jake but he knew that music was always good to Haley.
"No…This song is particularly appropriate." Said Haley starting to sing with the voice shivering with pain and tears…
I'm having the day from hell,
it was all going so well (before you came)
And you told me you needed space,
With a kiss on the side my face (not again)
And not to mention (the tears I shed)
But I should have kicked your (ass instead)
I need intervention
Attention to stop temptation to scream
'cause baby
Jake sighed, The song was even more than appropriate but he was worrying about Brooke's reaction when she'd face Nathan. He knew how Haley was important to her. Don't do something stupid Brooke please. He Thought
Everything is F'ed up straight from the heart
Tell me what do you do, when it all falls apart
Gotta pick myself up where do I start
'cause I can't turn to you when it all falls apart
No
Jake couldn't believe that this song was playing. It was like it was written for her. After a while Haley stopped singing and he could hear her quiet breathing. She finally fell asleep.
Sleep as long as you can Hales…I just wish the pain would fade by the morning thought Jake knowing it was pure utopia.
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Brooke arrived in front of Nathan's house. She was even more upset then before. She had the time to think on her way there and she imagined a thousand way to hurt him and the skank he slept with.
She just wanted to pick up the car for now and go back to Haley as fast as she could because she knew that her best friend needed her more than anyone right now but she was there, standing in front of Nathan's door. She closed her hand into a fist so hard that her knuckles went white.
Oh what the Hell! The situation can't get worse! She thought knocking at the door. I'm so going to catch you by surprise. She added to herself.
As soon as Nathan opened the door he felt a sharp pain in his stomach and bent in half. "Are you mental?" He shouted aggressively to Brooke keeping a hand in his stomach. She was damn stronger then he thought.
Brooke tried to slap him, but Nathan stopped her hand.
"You had one freebie Davis!" He said on a threatening tone. He was already pretty hurt and he didn't need more hostility today. Knowing what tomorrow will be when we will have to face Lucas. "Don't you think it's enough?" He asked
"Enough? Enough?!" She shouted with disbelieve. "All I can say is that you're lucky I'm not a guy or I'd beat your ass so hard you'd call for you mommy!" added Brooke, her voice shivering with anger.
"I guess she told you…" Said Nathan sadly.
"Uh-huh! And I can't believe you did that to her!" added Brooke gripping so much on Haley's key that it was biting her flesh. "You promised me to take care of her heart! You said you'd love her forever!" Shouted Brooke even louder. "You said you'd rather die then see her hurt. I wish you wouldn't have said anything because you didn't mean any of it!"
Nathan just looked down
"What the fuck you think you're doing?" Said Brooke slapping his arm. "Look at me when I'm talking to you dumb shit!" she added aggressively.
"You don't know the whole story" simply stated Nathan.
"Did you cheat on her, yes or no?" Asked Brook even more aggressively.
"I…" Started Nathan
"Yes or No?" She shouted even louder
"Yes!" Screamed Nathan. "Is that what you wanted to hear!?" He added with spite.
"No I didn't." She said not shouting anymore. She looked at him with so much disdain. "But you know what? You're going to regret what you did for a long time." Said Brooke seriously pointing at him.
Nathan looked at her frowning with confusion. He knew they would all be against him for breaking her heart but he didn't expect Brooke to be so hateful and at the same time so calm as she was now.
Brooke shook her head and had a sarcastic laugh. "You know Scott…You'll never find someone who will love you as much as she did. Nobody will ever see in you as much as she did." Brooke sighed with annoyance. "And believe me I'll wait for this day and I'll be there. You lost the best thing that ever happened to you." She added leaving.
"Don't you think I know that…" He whispered looking at the door closed while tears started to feel up with tears again.
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Haley opened her eyes to see who was lying by her side.
Jake? She thought with panic as the events of the night came back to her slowly at the same time then her heart started to ache again. Nathan wasn't in her life anymore.
Haley felt someone move behind her and she slowly turned around. It was Brooke sleeping beside her.
Haley looked at the ceiling and couldn't't help but smile even if she was hurting as she had never experienced. She was sleeping between Jake and Brooke, two great friends there for her. She was so thankful to have them in her life.
She looked at the alarm clock. It was 4 am. Brooke probably phoned her mother to tell her she was staying there for the night, but Haley wanted to go home, lay in her bed to think. She did her bed to crawl out of the bed in order not to wake up Brooke or Jake.
Haley finally made it home and reached her bedroom as quietly as possible. Lucas was sleeping in the room just across the hall and she really didn't want him to see her face right now, she would probably scare anyone.
Haley lay on her bed and look at the ceiling, remembering all the lies Nathan told her over the past 5 months. She was sure he even believed them himself, at least she prayed it was the case because she couldn't have been completely wrong about him. A part of him had to be good, he maybe lied with his words but he couldn't lie with his eyes did he?
Haley turned her head to look at her desk. "Is that the sign I asked?" She asked out loud. "Well sorry to tell you that but you're pretty mean for a god!" She added angrily.
Haley gave up on her desire to sleep when the clock showed 6:30. She sighed with annoyance and stood up. "Ok, you win…." She said walking to her desk taking Stanford letter and accepting the offer. "I guess it's what I'm meant to do." She added to herself knowing it would be a torture for her to see Nathan for four years while longing for him to realize he made a mistake. Haley shook her head. No, her heart couldn't bear it.
She put the slip on an envelope, put her jacket and went to post it. The fresh air of the dawn would help her look better to face her brother this morning.
Haley was already back and eating breakfast when her brother made his way to the kitchen.
"Hey sleepy head." Said Haley trying to sound fine putting a spoon of coco puffs in her mouth.
"Geez Hales I'm sorry to tell you that but you look terrible! Didn't sleep much huh?" He added with a laugh.
Haley put another spoon full in her mouth and took her time to swallow, she needed time to compose herself and sound believable. And she was doing her best to eat her cereal.
"What?" Asked Lucas sitting down in front of her at the kitchen table. "It's so not your type to be speechless!"
"I…I broke up with Nathan last night." Said Haley looking at her boll.
"You…What?" Asked Lucas with disbelief. "If it's a joke Haley it's not funny!" He added seriously.
Haley shook her head negatively. "I got an offer from Stanford, full scholarship and I'm taking it!" She added finally looking at her brother knowing she gained some composure.
Lucas shook his head and looked at her with anger. "I…what happened to the 'I'm so happy to go to Duke with you and Nathan' speech?" Asked Lucas sarcastically. "What is it actually, the 'I'm happy to go to Duke as long as I don't get into Stanford'speech?" Asked Lucas nastily.
"Well sometimes things evolve Lucas" simple stated Haley standing up putting her dirty dishes in the washer.
"Whatever!!" said Lucas standing too in order to face his sister. "I'm so disappointed in you! I can't believe you're breaking his heart and all the promises you made for just a school! You're so not the girl you used to be. You're not half the woman I thought you would become" Said Lucas sincerely.
Haley looked up shocked and saw that her brother did mean everything he just said and this broke her heart even more but she had to keep her act, she was doing that for him…only for him she tried to convince herself. She just kept looking at Lucas without a word.
"Damn it Haley say something!" Said Lucas punching the table. "What happen to the I loved Nathan my whole life, he is my soul mate, I want to be with him forever!"He added on a high pitch voice like if he was trying to intimidate Haley. "Bullshit!" He added.
"Think whatever you want, but Stanford is Stanford." Said Haley stubbornly. How could she justify a decision that didn't seem right, even to herself? She would have never ever have chosen Stanford over her heart.
"You're going to regret this Haley! You…you don't know what you did!" Added Lucas angrily. "Now if you'll excuse I've got to go and meet my best friend," added Lucas, shaking his head with disapproval. It was Saturday, but the Ravens had practice today to be ready for the semi finals….Geez that's going to be fun! Thought Lucas sadly.
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Nathan was leaving Whitey office when he saw Lucas walking to his direction. Here we go…thought Nathan with apprehension.
He went to see Whitey and explained him his decision about Haley. Whitey said he was stupid to act this way and play the bad guy but Nathan could see that Whitey was somehow proud that Nathan let her go without her feeling any guilt for not looking back. Nathan was now praying that Haley would accept Stanford offer, he didn't want to have done all that and loosing everything he had as the love of his life or his best friend for nothing.
"Nate!" Shouted Lucas walking toward him.
Nathan closed his eyes expecting to receive a fist straight in the face like he received last night, but something completely unexpected happened. He felt Lucas puling him into a bear hug.
"I'm so sorry man." Said Lucas with sadness in the voice. "I can't believe she did that to you but I'm here…I'll stand by you Nate." He added sincerely.
Nathan was happy that Lucas couldn't see the confused look on his face.
"Yeah…." Said Nathan confused. He didn't know what Lucas was talking about but a part of him refused to ask.
"I know it all. She told me this morning…" added Lucas finally breaking their embrace.
"Yeah about that…" started Nathan trying to find something to say.
"I can't believe she chose Stanford over you!" Continued Lucas, like Nathan never opened his mouth. "I mean…" Lucas shook his head, "I woke up this morning and she tells me that she broke up with you…I can't believe it."
Nathan looked down, he was so happy to learn that Haley was going to Stanford. It was worth it after all. "Yeah, but Stanford is Stanford…it meant the world to her." Said Nathan still confused. Why did Haley take the blame? He couldn't help but think.
"Yeah, but after you asked…" Started Lucas.
"I didn't." Said Nathan cutting Lucas. "Things changed before." He added vaguely
Lucas nodded, looking at his best friend with pain. "She'll regret it Nate…She is making the biggest mistake of her life and she'll realize it eventually," added Lucas, pulling Nathan into a hug again.
"Well…I guess you're still friends! That's a shocker!" Said Jake walking into the room shaking his head.
"Come on, give us a break Jagelski" Said Lucas a bit aggressively. "Haley…Haley just broke up with him."
"Yeah right!" Said Jake bursting into laugher. He couldn't believe that Nathan pulled up a stunt like that. "And who told you that?" He asked to Lucas with his eyes stuck on Nathan.
"Haley told me!" Said Lucas with defy. "I thought you'd know already since you're dating my sister best friend." He added shaking his head with disapproval.
"Hal…Haley told you that?" Asked Jake frowning with confusion.
"Yeah why?" Asked Lucas with annoyance.
"Not for anything…" Said Jake shaking his head. "I didn't think she would tell you that soon that's all."
"Whatever that means…" Said Lucas shaking his head. "So, let's hit the court to be prepared to beat the Bear Creeks morons!" Added Lucas, clapping his hands. He turned to Nathan. "You know man, I'd understand if you need a break today." He added nicely padding his friend shoulder.
"Yeah we would TOTALLY understand," said Jake the eyes stuck on Nathan.
Nathan could read both anger and disapproval on Jake's eyes. He looked down. "No that's fine. Thanks guys." He cleared his throat. "Basketball is the only thing able to ease my mind." Added Nathan sincerely. He needed his heart to stop aching and stop the regrets and guilt from eating him up alive.
As soon as they walked onto the Court, Jake saw Brooke and the cheerleaders. He grimaced. Damn it! He thought, seeing her angry look as he was walking beside Nathan. She is going to kill me! He added to himself seeing her walk their way with a determined look on her face.
As soon as she was there, Jake didn't let her the time to talk and crashed his lips on top of hers into a passionate kiss in order to shut her up. He finally broke up their kiss to see no more anger in her eyes, but a blissful smile.
"Oh, that was nice!" She said surprised knowing that Jake was not that much into PDA. "I dunno what you took, but you should definitely take some more often!" She added taking his hand.
Jake pulled her into a hug and whispered to her ear. "Haley told Lucas she is the one who broke them up." Brooke tried to break their embrace, but Jake tightened his embrace and kept talking. "As far as Lucas is concerned, Haley is the bad guy." He added before kissing her cheek before finally loosening his embrace.
Brooke took two steps back and looked at the 3 guys standing there "What the fuck?!" She shouted before turning around walking back to her group of cheerleaders. "Hey Teresa I need to go, you're in charge," she shouted taking her stuff and putting them fast in her bag. "Don't even think about taking the spot Rach-ho!" She said pointing to the red head. "You let her say something I'll sack you, understand?!" She added to Teresa attention before leaving the gym.
"What got into her?" Asked Lucas confused.
"Dunno man…I just told her that I forgot to reserve the hotel for tonight." Said Jake angry with this whole situation. He was lying to protect a guy he didn't want to help. "I guess she is just super pissed I ruined our romantic weekend." He added looking at Nathan from the corner of his eyes.
Nathan just nodded he perfectly knew what was going on and that Jake was just lying. The only thing he wanted to do is run to Haley to find out why did she take the blame for their break up.
Haley James really is a martyr. He thought sadly.
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Brooke was in her car looking for Haley and she was almost sure to know where to find her, she was not Lucas James' sister for no reasons.
Brooke parked her car far enough for Haley not to hear her. She was sitting on the picnic table by the river court looking at the River running. She was lost in her thoughts and the light sound of the water running helped her to calm down.
"Hey sweetie…how are you doing today?" Asked Brooke nicely sitting beside her.
Haley slightly jumped with surprised. She looked at Brooke with a small smile and shrugged. "Ehhh you know…." She concentrated her attention on the river again. "I feel like a girl whose world is just falling apart."
"I know…" Said Brooke taking her hand "but…" she stopped for a while. She didn't know if it was a good idea to bring back the Lucas issue.
"What?" Asked Haley. "You came to tell me something Brookie, tell me," encouraged Haley nicely.
"OK…" Brooke took a deep breath. "Did you really tell your brother you're the one breaking up with Nathan?"
Haley nodded positively.
"Why?" Asked Brooke on a sort of whine. "I mean, God knows he deserves to have his ass kicked! Why are you doing that for him huh?" Asked Brooke confused.
Haley stood up and walked to the river closely followed by Brooke. She crossed her arms on her chest. "I'm not really doing that for Nathan…I'm doing it mainly for Lucas." Said Haley nicely even if she confessed deep down that she was doing it for Nathan too.
"Lucas? I don't understand," said Brooke confused.
"They'll go to college together, play on the same team!" Said Haley turning on the side to face Brooke. "They've been best friends even longer than us! I mean it's the only person he'll know at Duke and do you think I want my brother to lose a friend that is so dear to his heart? No!" She added looking deep into Brooke's eyes to show her she meant every word.
"Yeah, but what about you? You're the one who need support and compassion!" Said Brooke with worries. "It's going to be unbearable for you." She added taking Haley's hand.
"Nah, I'll be in California anyway so why should I care about what happens at Duke? And I'll feel better knowing my brother will have his best friend by his side. It's all for the best I promise." She smiled. "Lucas can't be mad forever! I'm his 'baby sister'after all," added Haley praying she was right because Lucas was far more upset than she expected him to be.
Brooke nodded before opening wide eyes. "Wait California? Oh my gosh!! You're going to Stanford!" Said Brooke guilty thinking that the break up wasn't maybe the worst that could happen to Haley after all.
"Yeah I am." Stated Haley simply. "I asked for a sign and I guess that having a fucking, lying, cheating boyfriend who dumps you just before the limit date is a sign." Added Haley, with a sarcastic laugh.
Brooke closed the distance between them and hugged Haley. "I know you can't feel it now honey but you'll get better."
"I'm not sure I'll ever be okay ever again." Said Haley sadly resting her head on Brooke's shoulder.
"You'll be okay Haley James. You'll change the world someday and I'm not even sure you know it." She added nicely stoking her best friend hair.
In next chapter: Time goes, memories fade…but my love remains the same