A.N: Hey guys!! I know it took me forever to update but I had a major writer block!! And somewhere I still have lol. Anyways thanks so much for the nice reviews. I really hope you're going to like this chapter too. don't forget to review and tell me what you think ok?
Also….If you have time please check the story called "Slow Dancing In A Burning Summer" by b.freeman it's good and worth checking out.
I would love to dedicate this chapter to all my reviewers with a special thanks to my SpiderAngel and Kelly for their constant support.
Chapter 27: Fix you
Haley looked into Nathans' eyes but his expression didn't show any sign of the fact that he had heard her. Only his grip on her arms getting stiffer gave away the fact that he did hear her.
"Nate?" She asked softly looking into his eyes. "Nate?" She asked again worriedly. Is he going into shock on me??
Nathan was frozen on the spot, he never expected Haley to say something like that to him… especially now. Did she intend to hide that from me? He thought finally coming back to himself. He finally released Haley and took two steps back looking at her with incredulity. "Pregnant?" He asked in just one breath.
Haley nodded. "It's yours," she added quickly. She saw his face go from pale white to bright red in about a second and she immediately regretted having specified.
"I figured that much Haley!" He snapped. "I wasn't going to insult you with such an obvious question," Said Nathan coldly, his face unreadable. Actually another possibility of someone fathering the baby did not even cross his mind. "I used to think higher of you then that."
" Used to?" Thought Haley with disbelief. "And what's that supposed to mean?" She snapped back. "Explain yourself," she added angrily. He was acting like he was the victim when she was the one who had been abandoned by the person she loved the most.
"Oh you perfectly know where I'm coming from!" Said Nathan more pained then angry. "I mean… " He shook his head trying to find some kind of coherence in his thoughts. "How far are you with this pregnancy huh?" He asked rhetorically. "The last time we were together was about, ummm, 3 months ago so please… " He felt his body fill up with anger again. "It left you plenty of time to come clean about all this!"
"All 'this'?'' Haley started pacing too. Her thoughts were just mixed with anger. She knew that Nathan wouldn't react well to the announcement, but trying to make her feel like the bad guy was overly insulting; "It's my body…my baby! I was the one who had to assume the consequences of this stupid attempt to seduce you!" She said shaking with pure rage now remembering all the pain she felt when he broke her heart. "It was my decision to take and…"
"That's where you' re wrong!" Shouted Nathan his blue eyes were almost black with anger. "This was life altering for me too…you had to tell me and…''
"I'm telling you now!!" Shouted Haley. "What else do you need? Geez…'' She shook her head and sat on a small wooden chair; "You're overreacting and…'' she took a deep breath trying to calm herself down. She knew it wasn't good for the baby. "I'm not asking you for anything," she added calmer. "You can be as involved with this as you want to be."
"You still don't get it do you?" Asked Nathan not shouting anymore but with clear anger and disappointment lacing his voice. "I can't help but think that…that…'' he sighed, "That you weren't going to tell me about our baby if I didn't come here."
Nathan saw Haley blush slightly her eyes filling up with guilt and he knew he wasn't far from the truth, this hurt him even more…really breaking something deep inside.
Our baby…Thought Haley; the 'our'made her shiver with pleasure.
"I was going to tell you…'' She said in a whisper trying to keep eye contact in spite of the guilt that was eating her up at this moment. Chris forced me. She added to herself.
"When? When the kid graduated college?" Asked Nathan sarcastically. "You suck at lying Haley…Don't insult me by trying." He added cold again.
"I WAS going to tell you!" She added hurt by Nathan's assumption.
"Really Haley?" Asked Nathan trying to find Haley's eyes. "Look at me…'' He ordered, Haley lifted her head and looked at him with her chin up. "Can you honestly tell me that you intended to tell me about the baby…'' he raised a finger to stop her from answer too fast. "And that nobody was actually forcing you to tell me." He added starting to understand Chris's insistence.
Haley's mouth felt open, Dang! I can count on him to ask all the wrong questions! She added to herself angry that she was a bad liar. She stayed quiet for a couple of seconds and decided to answer the question. "You said you wanted to live the college experience to the fullest Nathan…You wanted to fool around no strings attached and…'' She was speaking with an even and sure voice. "And I thought it was for the best!"
"The best? The best for who?" Asked Nathan crossing his arms on his chest. "Please don't say for me because I can't be sure of my reaction;" He added so coldly that it sent chills down Haley's spine. "You know why you're unforgivable…you perfectly know why!" He added like he was spitting venom.
"Oh yeah? Oh yeah??" She asked standing up from the chair. "Please humor me…" She added scowling.
"Don't play the damn amnesia trick on me Haley!" Said Nathan gritting his teeth. "I know you've got an enormous memory and…" He sighed loudly with exasperation. "You remember that night on the beach…" he asked looking at her from the corner of his eyes. "We talked all night wrapped in warm blankets looking at the stars." He added but he couldn't help but let the tenderness show in his voice as he remembered that night.
"I didn't forget…" She said looking away crossing her arms on her chest. It's the night you swore that you would love me forever…what a joke...she added sadly to herself. "Wish I did…." She mumbled clearly enough for him to hear.
Nathan decided to ignore her comment. "We were talking about the future and I told you that if I had a kid someday I wanted to be a good dad and… and that one of my worse fears was to not being there for my child when he needed me." He said his voice growing harsher as he spoke. "And you almost made me an absentee father Haley! That's why I'm so mad!! You knew how I would feel, but you intended to do it regardless!" He added his voice shaking. In fact his whole body was shaking.
"Yeah? Right back at you Scott!" Barked Haley her eyes full of tears. She was always crying when she was furious and this time it was even worse then furor. " What are you afraid of my angel?" Said Haley mimicking Nathan voice. "I'm scared not to be enough for you Nathan…Scared to loose you." Said Haley as she said on that night. "You could never loose me, I'll never hurt you… I'll love you forever." Added Haley still mimicking his voice, before letting out a sarcastic snort. "Please! You broke your promise and my worse fear come alive way before I did it to you so shut the hell up now okay!" She had a sarcastic laugh. "Don't play the damn victim! You don't really fit the part sorry." She added with spite.
"You know why I did what I did Hales I…" He shook his head as if he was giving up. "You better go home…." He looked back up into her eyes. "I need time to think and I don't want to say things I'll regret."
Haley nodded and took her bag. She knew the situation would only get worse. They were both tired and angry. Haley opened the door but as stubborn as she was she wanted to have the last word before going. "Don't worry Nate…. You can't hurt me more then you already did anyway…." She said before closing the door behind her looking for her phone through her tears. "It's me…. I need you…I'll be over soon." she said her voice shivering before calling a cab.
2323232323232323232323232323232323
Haley stopped in front of the small white town house and sighed. You're being selfish! Inconsiderate!! She told herself before getting out of the taxi, but she couldn't help it. She knew she was going to hurt people on the way she was going but her wish was stronger.
She quickly walked to the door, it was really late now and the chill of the night was really getting into her already tired body. She knocked quickly three times on the door.
"Hey…" She said sheepishly when the man answered the door.
Sam looked at Haley for a second before moving out of the way to let her in. He knew she made her choice, that she would never love him, but he just couldn't leave her out of his life.
Haley walked in and turned to face him. "I'm sorry I…I know I'm not being fair." She said guiltily. "I have no right to come here to try to fix something that will eventually hurt you but…"Her eyes filled up with tears. "You're helping me feel better, like my own personal sun…" she shook her head. "You're only one able to bring a genuine smile on my face these days. You're…you're…"She started, closing her eyes.
Sam walked to her and hugged her tightly and stroked her hair. "It's ok…" he whispered against her forehead. "Everything will be ok…I like being the one bringing a smile on your face even…even if it's the only thing I do." He added nicely trying to sound detached even if he could feel Haley's body tremble and he heard a light yawn. "You're exhausted sweetie" he added nicely breaking their embrace.
"I…don't want to go home." She said pouting slightly. "I just need some peace and…and you're the only one bringing me that peace." She added sincerely.
Sam nodded with a kind smile. I'll phone Chris later. He thought. "You can sleep here if you want." He said starting to walk her down the hall. "I've got a empty bedroom," he said opening the door of a small room. "This is Deans' room when he's around. "
Haley nodded gratefully. "Thank you…"She just said walking in. "Wou-" She stopped starting to bite her bottom lip nervously.
"What?" Asked Sam in an encouraging tone. "What's going on? You can tell me," He added with a trusting smile.
"Would…would you stay with me for a while?" she asked shamefully.
"Oh…" Said Sam surprised by this request. He cleared his throat." Of course I will," he said nicely joining her into the room. I'm suffering already...I guess I'm really looking for punishment…Masochistic! He thought angry with himself for loving her so much and knowing she would never be his, yet a part of him knew it was better this way. Sam laid beside Haley. "Sleep sweetie…. rest for a while. I promise everything will be clearer soon." He took her hand. "Everything will make sense in the morning" he added hoping that she would finally tell him what happened with Nathan.
--
Haley was woken up by the smell of bacon and eggs coming from the kitchen. This delicious smell made her stomach growl.
"Food…Yummy!" She said with a smile walking into the kitchen.
"Yep!" Said Sam with a cocky grin putting a full plate in front of her. "Eat and then we'll talk," he said sitting in front of her resting his chin on his hand.
"Ok…spill it!" Said Haley biting a slice of bacon. "I can see you want to say something but you don't know how."
"You know me too well already." Said Sam with a humourless laugh.
"Ditto…" Said Haley with a smile. "So…. Are you going to say something or…"
"Chris just phoned me…" Said Sam uncomfortably. "Nathan's waiting for you there."
"Oh…" Said Haley blushing furiously with a mix of anger and guilt. "He...They…He knows I'm here?" She asked guiltily. She felt stupidly ashamed like she was cheating on someone.
"I guess he does…I don't see why he shouldn't" Sam shook his head. "You're not doing anything wrong and well…" He shrugged slightly "he's always on your mind anyways." He added looking away.
"Huh? What?" Asked Haley confused.
"You talked in your sleep last night…" Said Sam sheepishly.
"Yeah?" Asked Haley surprised. "What did I say?"
"Ummm…" Sam reddened slightly with discomfort. "You said 'I'm so sorry Nathan I love you so much…let's be us again.'" He said feeling the same pain ripping his heart as it did when he heard her last night.
"I…. Yeah…Well…." Haley sighed. "It was pretty ugly last night." Said Haley simply.
"Yeah?" Asked Sam wincing. "Well the anger means that you care…. You care about each other too much Hales."
Haley opened her mouth to talk but Sam stopped her putting a finger on her lips.
"I'm not blaming or judging you…. You know I don't," he said nicely. "But…" he shrugged slightly. "You know you love him and…"
"It's just that…argh!!" Started Haley putting her fork violently on the plate. "You don't know what happened!"
"So tell me what happened…" He said in a even voice like Haley didn't just snap at him.
Haley told him the condensed version of what happened and calmed herself along the way. "And you see…what pisses me off is that he is acting like a victim but…" she shook her head. "He said he wanted to live the whole college experience. I mean come on!! He told me that having a girlfriend was too much already. What was I supposed to think huh? That he wanted the baby?? I don't think so!" She said pouting in a childish way.
Haley saw Sam twitch his mouth a little on the left side. She rolled her eyes. "What?" She asked not really angry. "I know you want to comment," She said waving her hand as an invitation to speak.
"Well…" He crooked his head on the side. "I know what he did was really wrong and I totally get your point but…you've got to admit that even if he did you wrong his heart was in the right place and…" He took a fork of food from her plate and handed it to her. "But I think his reaction is mainly due to what he almost lost you know…."
Haley frowned confused.
"Let me explain." He said taking a sip of his coffee trying to organize his thoughts. "The guy fear is to not be a good father like his was for so long right?" He asked and Haley nodded. "Well… can you realize that by making his choice of letting you go he almost realized his worse fear and he would have been the one to blame for it!" Said Sam sincerely not able to stop the sympathy he felt for Nathan. "It's enough to shake up a man Haley…. I'm almost sure his anger was mostly out of fear and directed on him."
"I dunno…". She said pouting not wanting to feel bad for Nathan. "I'm not sure I'm ready to see him now." She added stubbornly.
Sam sighed and rolled his eyes. "Don't be a baby sweetie. I perfectly know that you're going to get back with him eventually and you know it too…" Sam stood up and pretended to refill his cup in order to hide the pain he was feeling. "It's not fair to try to pretend the contrary. It's not fair to Nathan, it's not fair to your baby, it's not fair to you and ...Hell it's not fair to me!" He added trying to sound as detached as he could. "You will always be his and you even admitted it yourself. So…" He walked back to stand behind her and put his hands on her shoulders. "Why wait any longer huh? Go back to him…Talk and clear this all mess."
Haley sighed and put a hand on top of his left. "Ok…. I know you're right but it's really scary to give your heart again to the person who did destroy it in the first place." She finally admitted guiltily. "You try to find any excuse possible not to."
Sam squeezed her shoulders nicely. "You're strong and brave! I know you'll find the strength and…" He smiled "just know that if he breaks your heart again…I'll break his face." He added jokingly knowing that he did mean it, deep down.
Haley nodded.
"Okay…I'll drive you now. And please don't let pride or fear get stuck on the way again." He said seriously. "It never gives you the best way to be happy."
Haley ran to Sam and hugged him. "How on earth did I deserve such a fantastic friend?" She asked emotionally. "You're my own personal sun you know that?"
"I know that…I do…" Said Sam breaking their embrace, it was too much for now. He needed time to get over all that; sometimes it did suck to be the good guy! "Ok let's go!" He said nonchalantly reaching for his car keys.
In next chapter: Will you marry me?