A.N: Hey Guys!

So here is Chapter 7, I really hope you'll enjoy it, I loved writing it. For those of you who don't know the song 'I'll Never Be The Same' by Red you should totally go to youtube right now and listen to it. It's like it has been written for Rose and Dimitri at the end of Spirit Bound.

Thanks to my reviewers and to Jessa for proofreading my work.

Well don't forget to review and tell me what you think.

Take care

Steffy

Chapter 7:

Things went rather smoothly as I went to see Dad and Lissa, and to be honest it was a nice change. I was fed up with everything being so damn hard.

My dad told me he was happy that I was satisfied with my appointment and that he understood why I needed two weeks to chill out before I would be fully ready to go and guard Tasha. I could see in his eyes that he didn't believe my reason for going away fully, but I guessed that, by now, we had a silent agreement. He stayed out of my business and I stayed out of his. It was as simple as that.

However, he still told me, 'You have two weeks to do whatever you have to do. After that you'll have to concentrate on your career and the things that are good in your life, but don't worry I'll find who framed you'. He also told me that he would be leaving later that day. I felt somehow sad at the idea; I liked having him around. But he promised that I would see him again soon.

I also received a phone call from my mother. She called to tell me that she was super busy with Lord Szelsky, but that she would come visit me at the Court in ten days, before I left for New York. She knew everything about my appointment already, and I suspected my father gave her a thorough resume of my life.

I was a bit more apprehensive as far as Lissa was concerned. I knew how she hated for me to do stuff without her, especially if I was letting Adrian tag along. But she seemed to think it was a good idea for Adrian and me to go away for a little while, to try to deal with our issues since Dimitri was back.

I hadn't known that Adrian and I had issues. Now, waking up beside him again, I didn't think anything was wrong.

Adrian came back last night, very late. He didn't need to ask for what he wanted; I could see it in his eyes. If I were being honest, I liked to be in his arms too. I had let him in silently, he joined me in my bed without a word and wrapped his arm possessively around my waist as I rested my head on his chest.

I let him sleep, quickly showered and decided to go find Mikhail to ask him to join us on our trip to Las Vegas. Eddie was gone for now, and Mikhail was the only Guardian whom I trusted now.

I left a note for Adrian, telling him that I was running some errands and that I would be in Lissa's head during the reading of the Queen's will this afternoon. The Queen had requested a list of people to be present at the reading, Lissa being called didn't really surprise me.

I also told him that he was welcome to join me tonight, I smiled writing that. I knew that these simple words would make his day. As a boyfriend he could have been a lot more demanding, but apparently just holding me in his arms was good for him.

I stopped at the café to grab a coffee and a donut to eat. Then headed off, taking the direction of the Guardian's Headquarter to find out where Mikhail was working today.

As I walked in a Guardian greeted me from the reception desk, "Guardian Hathaway, it's nice to see you."

I smiled as I tried to remember his name. It was the Guardian who brought me the ice cubes before. What's his name? What's his name? Joe… John.. JONAS! That's it. "Please Jonas, call me Rose," I said resting my arms on the desk. "How are you doing?"

He nodded with a smile. "I'm not that big on being assigned to administrative duties, but we all have to do it. What can I do for you Rose?"

"Oh nothing, I was just looking for Guardian Tanner. I was about to go check today's schedule," I pointed at the staff room where the schedules were posted, "to know where I could find him."

He took a clipboard from his desk. "Let me check for you." He looked down at his list. "Tanner… Tanner. Ah here, his shift will be over in four hours" He looked up. "He's working at the vault today."

I couldn't help but wince, which made him laugh. "Not that hot on seeing Guardian Croft?"

"I'm scared I'll end up in that vault forever with that man," I teased. "I've spent more than enough time with him for the next decade."

"We all feel like that when we start here, believe me."

"I bet," I sighed lightly tapping the desk. "Well thank you so much. I'll see you later."

I didn't really know what I wanted to do next, but I was wearing my sweats and training shoes. I really needed some exercise after almost two weeks of total inactivity.

I took the direction of the main gym, but changed my mind half way there. The Council had met the previous day to clear my name publicly, and since then I kept running into a lot of hypocrites. They all told me how happy they were that I was free, and that they always knew I was innocent… Fucking hypocrites!

I turned around to go to the small gym instead. There were a lot less materials and it was older, but usually nobody was there, and I needed that peace and quiet. I had decided to go see Adrian's parents tonight or tomorrow to find out what damages I'd caused to my shaky, and mainly superficial, relationship with Daniella.

As soon as I walked into the gym I froze on the spot. Dimitri was there, beating on punching bag. He was wearing a pair of grey sweatpants and a white tank top that was revealing his strong, lean muscles.

I closed my eyes. This scene hurt me much more than anything else. It hit home, it hit deep. He was my mentor. I never thought I would see him train in a gym ever again. Right now - his skin glistering with sweat and his ponytail unruffled - he looked so much like the man that loved me, the man that swore to me that we would be together… It made it just so hard to accept that this man had died in the caves.

"Why do you keep torturing me?" I whispered to a God I wasn't sure I believed in.

I took a deep breath, keeping my eyes closed, knowing that I should just turn around and walk away. But it was like my feet refused to listen to the rational part of my brain. The part that told me to go to Adrian, that as crazy and unstable as he might be, he was the healthiest part of my life. No, my feet were listening to the masochist part of myself that probably got a kick of my hurt.

Okay one more look Rose, and then you're gone, I promised myself before opening my eyes.

Dimitri was looking at me, arms folded on his chest. His face was cold and unreadable, but I could see reproach deep in his eyes.

Can you spell busted? I asked myself doing my best not to look too embarrassed.

He shook his head like he was disappointed… in me or himself I had no idea. He turned toward the changing room without a word to me.

"Don't worry I'm not stalking you. I can keep my word." I stalked off in the opposite direction, to the weight lifting machine. It felt odd to walk away from him.

"What's that supposed to mean?" he asked taking the bait.

I turned around to face him, but he was already by the changing room door. Everything in his posture screamed aggression - as if I were invading his space – he was already hurting me yet again. How much will it take for me not to expect anything more from him? When will I finally fully understand?

"It means that you are very good at keeping your promises when you feel like it, but you don't think twice before breaking them when it fits your mood. What happened to the 'I won't let you Rose, no matter what.'? Or to the 'I love you Roza. I'll always be here for you. I'm not going to let anything happen to you'?" I pleaded as a shooting pain stabbed me right in my chest taking my breath away. I was reliving the scene live in my head. We were in bed, back in the cabin, his strong hand resting on my bare hip, his eyes full of love and devotion. I had never felt more loved and more whole than I did in that instant.

"I tried to be there for you!" he shouted making me wince. "When they came to arrest you, I tried to protect you… When you were in your cell I wanted to come, I wanted to help, but you refused me!"

"That's not the part I that hate you for breaching Dimitri! I can protect myself perfectly fine!" It's… It's the 'I love you' part I hate you for breaching I added to myself. A new song started to play on the radio, I immediately recognized it as I'll Never Be the Same by Red. It only fueled my anger and pain as it seemed to have been written for Dimitri and I. Make it stop! I shouted in my mind. Without thinking, I reached for a two pound weight and threw it full force, toward the radio, smashing it. "You lied to me!" I shouted, not actually looking at him

"What do you want from me?"

I shook my head. There was no point in chasing him anymore. Looking at him now, I understood, painfully, that he wasn't the Dimitri who swore all those things to me. "I don't want anything anymore."

"Good," he said standing straight, back rigid. "That's the way it's supposed to be."

"That's the way you WANTED it to be." I took a deep breath knowing that I was reaching a breaking point. I was about to express things, admit things that I promised to keep buried. Adrian deserved better than that. Tasha was right, it was all pointless. Dimitri was cold and distant, even more so than when I met him. I could see the haunted look in his eyes, but he had pushed me away over and over again. Now, with his face hard and position stiff, he didn't want me there. He didn't want me to make him feel… If he could still feel. I shook my head and turned toward the weight lifting bench. "It doesn't matter anymore," I said trying to sound detached and calm, but I could hear my own weariness.

I didn't know if Dimitri was about to retort, because at that instant the door opened on my favorite Assbutt, Liam Trent.

"Wow Luv, I didn't know you liked it rough," said Liam looking at the smashed radio on the floor. "Not a music fan?"

I looked at him incredulously. Liam was actually joking with me? And the way he said Luv… I finally figured out the faint accent he had, he was English or he had lived there.

"Is everything alright?" he asked more serious now. He was probably surprised that I didn't hit back with one of my famous Rose Hathaway snarky comments.

"Some songs just aren't good to hear," said Dimitri somberly. "We don't need to be reminded of the past," he added as he walked into the changing room.

I shook my head, rolling my eyes, but I figured Dimitri knew the song just as well as I did.

I'll never be the same. I'm caught inside the memories of promises of yesterdays and I belong to you. I just can't walk away cuz after loving you, I can never be the same. And how can I pretend to never know you, like it was all a dream? No, I know I'll never forget the way I always felt with you beside me, and how you loved me then. I sang to myself.

"Rose?" I heard Liam from so close to me that I jumped back in surprise.

"Did you need anything?" I asked trying to get my smugness back. "Or did you really miss me? You can admit it, I am pretty awesome," I added with a grin, but I couldn't seem to keep my eyes from the changing room door.

"No, I actually came here to see if you were true to your word, or if you were a little chicken."

I narrowed my eyes with suspicion. "Uh huh…"

"You said you could take me," he said gesturing to the training mat. "I'm dying to see if it was only words," he finished with a Cheshire Cat smile.

I laughed. "Lead the way Luv," I said imitating his tone. "But don't start crying when I beat the shit out of you."

"I'll try to contain myself," he called back over his shoulder as he walked to the mat. He took off his hoodie sweatshirt along the way and I couldn't deny that he had a FINE body.

I took my own sweatshirt off and threw it on the bench before joining him. He looked amused and it was an expression that fit him well.

"You know this amusement fits you much more than your Terminator face… Just saying," I said taking a defensive stance. I wouldn't attack, he had to make the first move, it was my advantage, I needed to see his moves. I gestured him forward with a smirk. "Come on, I'm waiting."

"No, you wanted to 'take me'," he explained taking a defensive stance. "You're attacking."

Smart ass! I thought as we started to circle each other. I faked a right punch, going for an actual uppercut, but Liam anticipated my faint. He caught my wrist and hit my thigh.

"Point," he said letting go of my wrist.

"You don't know all my secrets," I said with my man eating smile

"I can't wait to uncover them," he replied keeping his eyes locked with mine.

I thought of a feinting technique that Dimitri had taught me one day when I was frustrated that he could predict all of my moves. 'If your adversary is smart, let him think he's got you all figured out. His pseudo knowledge will give you an edge.'

I took the same exact attacking position and threw the same exact punch. But this time I knew precisely the way he was going to respond, so I stopped my action just before he could reach for my wrist. As he reached his leg to hit my thigh, I went down into a crouch and swiped his legs out from under him.

As soon as he fell on the floor, I rolled and straddled him. I wrapped my legs with his to keep him in place and crossed his arms over his stomach as quickly as I could.

"That was awesome!" he exclaimed without even trying to get out of my grip. "Do you know how many people can surprise me like that? Not many." He seemed to be sincerely impressed. "Who taught you that?"

I looked up just in time to see Dimitri silently slip out of the gym. "He did," I whispered. "He taught me everything I know, good and bad." I wasn't sure why I added that.

Liam twisted his head to look at the door and shrugged. Well he tried since I still had his hands in my grip. "Don't worry Hathaway, it will fade. It's only pheromones and the 'stupid glands' acting out. Love seems so powerful, but it's nothing more than that, Chemistry 101." I looked down at him with incredulity. Was he really saying that?

He snorted, "You make my heart race? Come on! It's just the freaking Adrenaline and Epinephrine soaring. Not so romantic, is it? What is love? It's just your brain sending a signal to the adrenal gland, which secretes hormones such as Adrenaline, Epinephrine and Nor Epinephrine. It's all those chemicals as the Testosterone, Estrogen, Dopamine, Oxytocin, Serotonin and many more that trigger the attraction."

"You are something else, do you know that?" I asked standing up looking at him with my best 'what-the-fuck' face.

He frowned, probably hearing the anger in my voice. "I'm just trying to make you feel better," and anyone could see that he certainly wasn't a pro at that.

"Making me feel better?" I asked with incredulity. "By telling me that everything I did in the name of my love for that man was just a disillusion? A pretty lie from my brain?" I shook my head. "Think again!"

"No, Rose, I- I'm just saying that it's not that bad… Love just isn't as epic and beautiful as everybody thinks it is. You can get over it. You WILL get over it. I just wanted you to have some perspective." He took a step toward me with a tentative smile.

"I was trying to give you a simplified overview of the chemical basis of love. The pheromones attract you. Then the attachment is caused by the Oxytocin and the Vasopressin. The lust is brought on by the Testosterone and Estrogen. Attraction sets in along with the loss of appetite and sleep by the Dopamine, Serotonin and other hormones… Don't let those stupid chemicals control you or your decisions."

"You really have issues dude, you really do." I wasn't even mad anymore. I had never seen that much smugness and clinical coldness coming from someone before, as far as love was concerned, and boy was he smart too!

"I just-"

I raised my hand to stop him, "But tell me, if you're so good, how your scientific knowledge can stop that?"

"Stop what?"

"I don't care if there is serocrotine or oxy-whatever playing a part on what I feel, but I'm interested if you know a way to make it stop. To stop my heart from hurting. Please genius, tell me!" I pleaded, unable to stop my voice from quivering.

"I don't know," he said and I could see worry in his eyes. "I truly wish I did."

I shook my head. "Knowing the causes of something doesn't change much. Like if someone shot you in the leg. You would know why you were hurting right? But it clearly doesn't stop the pain." I took a deep breath and sat on the bench by the radio I had just smashed. "How do you know all that anyways?"

He shrugged dismissively, burying his hands in his sweatpants pockets. "When I graduated from high school I was assigned to one of my best friends, and I went with him to a university. I graduated along with him in psychology."

"And something happened…" I said imagining he lost his charge just as Dimitri had.

"I protected the Queen once, three years ago, and she offered me a place in the Royal Guard. I couldn't refuse the offer! I was only twenty-five back then and that made me the youngest Guardian on this elite team."

"It was important to you, that job. Enough to let go of your charge."

"Of course!" He sat beside me. "Can you blame me?"

I shook my head. "No, but why did you do it then? Why did you give the tape to Abe?"

He looked at me silently. "Is that so important for you to know?"

"Yes, yes it is. Especially because I know how important that job is to you, and doing that could have caused you to lose it."

"Family is more important than a job. It always has been."

"Family?" I asked frowning with incredulity. "You're not going all 'Luke I'm your father' on me are you? Because it has already been done very recently."

He chuckled, elbowing me playfully. "No, I think I'll go more with 'Rose I'm your cousin'. It's more original."

"My cousin? I-" I thought about it. My mother didn't have any brothers or sisters. As for my father-Liam didn't look Turkish at all.

"Like you look Turkish yourself," he said playfully, probably guessing my thoughts.

"Well I look more Turkish than you, that's for sure!" I said pointing to his honey colored hair.

"But we have the same eyes," he added.

"We do." I confirmed finally noticing the deep brown that was apparently the Mazur signature.

I looked at the clock on the wall and winced, I was dying to find out more about him and his upbringing. What could have made him as fucked up as he was? The man was worse than me! And he was the only family I had beside my parents, which made him so 'special' to me.

"Something wrong?" he asked looking at the clock.

I shook my head. "No, it's just…" I sighed. "They're supposed to read Queen Tatiana's will in less than an hour, and Lissa is going and…Would you mind if we continued this chat on the way to my room?"

He shrugged dismissively. "No I don't mind, but I don't see the- Ah I see, you're going to be in her head."

"You know about that? What else do you know?"

He chuckled, opening the gym door for me. Apparently admitting we were related turned him from an ass to a gentleman, which was a nice change.

"It's no secret that you share the bond Rose, and well," he buried his hands in his pockets again and cleared his throat. I didn't know him well, but I already knew that he did that when he was embarrassed. "Well I may have questioned Uncle Abe and did a little research on my own. I don't have much family either, you see."

"So tell me a bit more about yourself. It's only fair, don't you think?" I said opening my bedroom door. "Please take a seat," I said pointing to the sofa.

He sat heavily looking around, I saw Adrian's laptop on the table, still running, and a note scrambled super quickly.

Sorry my little dhampir. Mother came to look for me a lot earlier than I thought. I had to go leaving the mess behind. Leave it like that I'll clean it tonight. I'll even wear a French maid costume if you want. Love you, your crazy Moroi.

I laughed as I folded the note and put it in my pocket. I needed to find a French maid costume for tonight. My desire to laugh died in my throat, when I saw his Google search. There was a list of the New York colleges and Universities susceptible to accept late applications.

"Adrian…" I whispered closing the computer. "Want something to drink?"

"Water please," Liam said with a smile. "So what do you want to know?" he asked a bit louder as I walked into the kitchen to retrieve two bottles of water from the fridge.

"Anything really, whatever you want." I threw him the bottle as I settled in the armchair across from him. "It will always be more than what I know now."

"Well my mother was Abe's sister. Her name was Feyza, which means 'merry woman' in Turkish." I couldn't help but feel pained by the use of the past tense, and I hated myself for giving him a hard time.

"She met that English human man, Trevor Trent and they fell in love."

"Your father is… human?" I said agape.

"I know right? Human… freaks!" he teased.

"That's not what I meant."

He chuckled. "I'm teasing you." He took a deep breath, but stayed quiet.

I looked at him intensely. He wouldn't stop there could he?

"What?"

"You… That's it? Really?"

"It gets… complicated," he said avoiding my eyes. I knew perfectly that by 'complicated' he meant 'painful'.

"More 'complicated' than almost willingly turning blood whore for the undead version of the love of your life… Hormones included?"

"It's…" he nodded silently as if he was having some internal debate. "It's pretty clear really. They got married and moved to England. My mother got pregnant and died of an aneurysm while giving birth to me."

I wanted to reach for him, squeeze his hand, show him any kind of support, but I knew he would hate that right now, just like I would hate the gesture if I were him.

"My father didn't cope very well," he continued. I could clearly see it was an understatement. "Not so easy to raise a dhampir child apparently." He let out a heavy sigh. "Uncle Abe took over and sent me to the best institution in North America. That's about it."

I nodded, "What about your father?" I couldn't help but ask.

"Dead, a long time ago." His tone clearly showed me that the subject was closed.

So it was true, Abe and I were his family. Who was better to trust than family? I asked myself, reconsidering my plan. Liam had already shown me that he was putting his family above anything as he risked the most important thing in his life for a cousin he didn't even know.

"Tell me Liam, do you have any vacation to take?" I asked with a wide grin.

"Maybe…" he trailed looking at me suspiciously. "What do you have in mind?"

"Well it's not something that will make me end up in jail or anything like that."

"Uh huh… I'm all ears."

"Well if I tell you and you say no, there's no problem. Just if you could not-"

"Tell it to Abe?" he finished for me, a ghost of a smile on his lips.

"Yeah, pretty much."

"I Promise. I'll keep it shut… as long as you don't put your life in danger."

"Well that's sort of why I need you too. To help me be safe."

"Please continue."

I told him everything about the Queen's note, that I may have a lead in Las Vegas, the fact that I would be leaving with Tasha soon and that I needed to do this now.

"That wasn't expected," he said running a hand in his hair.

"I know."

"And she'll really make a difference?" I looked at him confused. "Princess Dragomir, if she joins the Council."

"I know her better than I know myself, and yes, without a doubt."

He nodded, "Okay cousin, I'm in. Ivashkov is coming too I suppose?"

I laughed. "Yes, you're right, but it's low key. Nobody else will know what we're doing, so-"

"Yes, I got it. I need to keep it shut." He checked his watch. "Well Rose, not that I don't like spending time with you, but my shift is starting in less than an hour and I really need to get ready." He stood up.

I nodded, standing up too. "Yes, and I need to go too, in a minute," I said pointing to my forehead.

"It has to be so weird. Will you show me one day?" he asked as he paused by the door.

"Well you don't see much, but I'll show you sometime."

He padded my shoulder. "I'll come to see you after my shift so we can arrange the details of our trip. And as they say, 'What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas'."

"Except for herpes, that shit follows you everywhere," I added, quoting The Hangover. "Never mind," I added when I saw the confused look on his face.

I nodded and caught his arm before he could leave, "I'm glad we're related, you might be an ass, but you are a decent ass."

He laughed. "Yes, you're not that bad either, for a little brat. I'll see you later."

I closed the door; somehow still not fully comprehending that I had a cousin, a real one.

I was still smiling as I lay on the bed with my eyes closed. I was getting ready to get inside Lissa's head and assist to an important moment, the opening and reading of the Queen's Last Will and Testament.