She never makes it to the city; she supposes it was a foolish idea anyway, and Morningstar waved away her excuses with a clear and callous clarity. "You're a queen," she had snapped, and Sablefrost felt each and every word as a blow to her stomach. "And queens stay in the nursery." Morningstar had not been suspicious at that point, merely irate. Sablefrost prayed that the kits would be born during the raid, that somehow- miraculously- Sparkpool would help her dispose of them, or that perhaps they would all be born dead, surely the safest way to enter this world. But they're not even on time
They're late- the raiding party comes back, and she only swells- with her guilt and her worry and the unborn. And then it happens, in the middle of the night, and she lies awake in the thralls of her pain, but she mustn't let anyone know. Mustn't let anyone see. She rises and stumbles from the nursery, into the forest. There are four in total; a black tom and a black she-kit; a tabby tom; a faint grey she-kit with cream splotches- and she swears, staring down in the darkness, hollow and void, that she looks exactly like Strongclaw. The river lies mere feet away, but she lacks any will to drown the four beautiful creatures who knead at her stomach, who do not care for her crimes, who perhaps will never know the extent of her sins. Instead of discarding them, drowning them, she raises them. In a few months, she comes to realize the honey-amber of Oakkit's eyes are a perfect replica of Thornstreak's. She laughs. It's all too easy, and that's how it stays.
in which khia is replaced by a tiny cute strong-look-alike (but she's grey instead) who was the canon stillborn. don't have any name for her suggestions are welcome