A.N: Hey guys!

I know I was making you go insane but work was and still is very busy, I have barely in minute for myself and when I get home I'm exhausted. Moreover I had a MAJOR writer block from which it still pretty hard to recover.

Well I really hope you'll enjoy this chapter. I'll try to update next time next week.

Don't forget to review and tell me what you think.

Take care

Steffy

Chapter 15:

"I- What do you want Dimitri it's late." I said looking at the clock in the room . It was past midnight in the human world.

"It's still early for me."

"What do you want Dimitri?" I asked pacing the room. I didn't want to be mean or anything, but usually Adrian came back soon, he got mad and hurt easy but he also calmed easy. He left me more than two hours ago, he should be back by now like nothing had happened.

"I've heard you're in Detroit." He said as coolly as ever.

"And?"

"You always told me how you didn't like that city and now you answer your phone all panicked."

"Listen as much fun as it is to chit-chat with you I really have to-"

"Rose please," he said and I could hear the lassitude in his voice. "Whatever has been said or…done doesn't matter here. You know I care about you and always will." He sighed. "You are hiding something big from me and I- I can't help you if you keep me in the dark."

I stayed silent, sitting on the edge of the bed looking at myself in the mirror. He was right, I didn't know if his love really faded or not. I was not even sure I loved him as much as I once had, but one thing was sure, we would always care about each other. He would always own a little part of me as I would always own a little part of him. Even in the moment that I hated him the most, even in the moment when he made me suffer I couldn't help but care, wanting him safe…Why was it just so hard for me to even comprehend he could feel the same?

"Is Lissa in danger?" He asked bringing me back to reality. I should have known…Lissa was his first concern now.

"Not because of what I'm doing." I admitted closing my eyes, surrendering. "I'm trying to secure her…" I bite my bottom lip not really knowing what to tell him, especially over the phone. "You are right it's big, but I'll tell you everything when I get back, I promise." Dimitri was the best guardian around, and even if it took me this long to understand, keeping him in the dark might weaken Lissa's security and as much as I hated to admit it Dimitri could be trusted…Maybe not with my heart or life, but I could trust him blindly with Lissa's life and the secrets surrounding her safety.

"You were panicking when you answered the phone Roz-Rose I'm worried."

I gave him a humorless laugh. "It has nothing to do with Strigoi or Lissa or the reason of my trip Dimitri don't worry. This one is ALL me!" Because I'm an idiot that loves being hurt I added to myself.

"Do you want to-"

"Talk about it?" I finished for him. "No not really, especially not with you. Listen I promise my life is not in jeopardy right now I just…It has nothing to do with you or Lissa but I need to go now. I should be back tomorrow, we'll talk then I promise."

"Rose please be careful."

"Take care of Lissa," I replied before hanging up. I dialed Liam's number praying he had, at least, seen Adrian.

"Hey," he whispered on the phone taking me aback.

"Were- Were you sleeping?" I asked feeling bad as I was about to mettle him in my love life, something that he made no secret about abhorring,

"I wish," he spat in his hushed tone. "No I've been playing babysitter for a very drunk, very whiny Moroi."

"He is with you!" I shouted with relief. "I was so so worried. Where are you?"

"How many times should I tell you guys I don't want to get caught up in your mess?"

"Where are you Liam?"

He sighed. "In my room I-"

"I'll be right over," I replied slapping my phone shut almost running to Liam's room knocking frantically.

Liam opened the door rolling his eyes.

"He is here?" I asked stepping in the room.

"Sort of…" he replied pointing at the single bed where Adrian laid.

As I approached the bed I could smell the alcohol, he was drunk…big time. I sighed kneeling by his head gently brushing his cheek with the back of my hand.

Adrian opened an eye and I gave him a gentle smile to show him I wasn't upset.

"Hey…" I whispered.

Adrian growled and turned around. It wouldn't have hurt me more if he had slapped me. It was a first, Adrian had never rejected me before.

"Would you mind if I slept here tonight?" I asked Liam joining him back in the main room.

"And where will I go?"

I gave him the key card of my room. "Please," I said my voice cracking with weariness as he was about to argue.

He took the card and nodded. "Do…Do you want to talk about it?" He said giving him a sidelong glance.

I gave him a humorless laugh. "You told me you didn't want to mettle."

"It's more like I have no clue how to help you and its pretty new to me…I never felt helpless before."

"Don't worry I have no clue most of the time." I shook my head. "I don't think love is supposed to make sense."

He shrugged looking from Adrian to me and back again. "Maybe…But I don't think it's supposed to hurt that much either."

I looked at Adrian's sleeping form again. "I don't know…I guess not, but sometimes you can't let go, no matter how much you wish to be able to…no matter how much it hurts," I replied still keeping my eyes on Adrian. I knew only too well how Adrian might feel right now, I felt the same not so long ago…Hell, I still felt the same as far as Dimitri was concerned and thinking I was the one imposing this pain to Adrian was making me almost physically sick.

Liam looked at me in silence, like if he was trying to ponder what I just told him. "Maybe," he conceded after a while. "I couldn't say, I always avoided feeling that way."

"Part of me wish you could avoid it forever," I said rethinking of the breathtaking pain I felt when Dimitri was taken or when he rejected me in the Church…It had hurt me so bad that it felt like part of me was dying. "But at the same time I think you are missing out on one of the most beautiful experiences of life. The way you feel when you love someone deeply and you know, or at least think you know, that this person loves you back just as deeply. You feel powerful, safe like as long as you are with this person you can do anything, conquer anything. That's…That's-" I just shook my head not knowing what I could add, I was not one of many words, never have been.

"Was it worth it?" He asked finally meeting my eyes and I could see the true wonder in them.

If the situation was not hurting so much I would have almost laughed. I was 18 years old freshly graduated; I was not supposed to know much about life… I DIDN'T want to know that much about life and Liam was a 29 years old guardian with all this field experience and he seemed to be hanging on my words.

"Was it worth it?" I repeated his question while seriously pondering it. I finally nodded. "Yes, it was- is definitely worth it. It made me braver than I ever was before." It also made me much weaker than I could ever think I could be. I added to myself. "I don't think that loving anyone is a waste of time."

"Yea…I'm not sure everybody will agree with that," he simply added before walking lazily to the door. "I'm not even sure that, deep down, you are agreeing yourself." He added before leaving.

After Liam left the room, I walk to Adrian and took off his shoes. He was already slept like a dead person, but when he was that drunk it was literally impossible to wake him up.

I turned him around undid his pants and took his shirt off before struggling to put him under the covers.

After covering Adrian as well as I could without moving his dead weight too much I brushed my lips on his forehead before settling on the twin bed beside his and closed my eyes. Now there was no turning back, I would bring the 'real' last Dragomir back to Court and I could already predict all hell breaking lose, but the thing was that I knew it was just the right thing to do.

I didn't even realize I fell asleep, but when I opened my eyes there was faint light coming for the window I groaned opening my eyes. It was my last week of liberty and I was lacking sleep like no tomorrow.

Adrian was sitting on his bed staring at me but his eyes were glazed, like if he was far away…lost in his thoughts.

"Adrian?" I rasped.

He focused on my face like he was just realizing I was there. "Hey…" He said with a small smile.

"How are you?" I asked sitting up.

"What are the plans for today?" He asked purposely avoiding my question.

"We'll go back, to the Court I mean. I convinced Emily to come with Jill…We need to go before she changes her mind."

He nodded. "Okay, lets go get ready then," he said evenly and I was surprised of his absence of arguments here. I expected him to be whining just like he did in Vegas and the fact that he agreed without a word didn't look good.

"Adrian?" I tried again before he exited the room.

"Yeah?" He replied only half turning toward me.

"We-We're good aren't we?"

"Yeah…we're good." He smiled but I could see the haunted look in his eyes, he couldn't fool me.

I sighed closing my eyes. "Sure…" I knew he needed time and I had to give him that much after doubting him the way I did.

I stayed in Liam's room a bit longer, showering then and only going back to the room to change and prepare my bags.

I phoned Lissa who almost squealed when she found out I was coming back today. I told her I had a surprise even if I knew it was not a surprise she would particularly appreciate.

Emily and Jill joined us at the airport and except for Jill's evident excitement we were all grim for different reasons.

Emily because she was going to see her biggest secret revealed and to be fair I wouldn't want to be in her shoes. I was grim because I knew that I might have lost Adrian and I was probably about to lose Lisa too. Adrian was grim because….I rather not think about why Adrian was grim.

I sighed sitting beside him. He still had his fake smile plastered on his face, a smile that I was learning to hate as the time passed. I reached for his hand and intertwined our fingers, he didn't stop me but he didn't try to kiss me or anything and that was making things even worse. Angry Adrian I could handle, but this version…that was new and scary.

Jill made the conversation during the hour that the flight lasted. Adrian promised to try to get her to visit the Spatial centre. She was so happy to come during the holidays that she didn't seem to notice the tension.

As soon as we landed, I could feel Lissa's excitement and I realized she was waiting for us on the tarmac.

"Lissa is here," I whispered to Adrian.

"Did you expect otherwise? She missed you." He took a deep breath. "Give yourself more credit."

As soon as we got out of the plane a wide smile appeared on Lissa's face, but it disappeared almost as soon as she saw Jill behind me. I could feel her surprise, her curiosity, her slight anger with me to bring her here as well as a hint of jealousy.

Why did you bring her here Rose? She asked directly into my mind.

"Let's talk about that later okay?" I whispered as I hugged her. "I need to find them a room and-"

"Don't worry about it Rose," said Christian standing by Jill. "I'll take care of that," he added smiling to Jill making me feel a huge jealousy vibe from Lissa.

I wondered now how she will react when she finds out that Jill was her sister…It would be explosive.

I turned and met Adrian's eyes I was about to ask him his plans when he reached for his bag on the floor.

"I have to…do some things but I'll see you later," he said before turning around and walking briskly to go back to the Court main buildings.

"Is everything alright?" asked Lissa with curiosity and concern apparently momentarily sidetracked from her anger to see Jill here.

"Let me get back to you on that one okay?" I sighed and concentrate on her again. "So do you want a girl day?" I asked hopeful. I didn't know how long we would still be friends and I wanted to enjoy it for a little while longer.

I could feel her discomfort. "What?" I asked curiously.

"Well…I didn't think you would come back so soon so I organized the Lehigh visit to be today and I…" She bit her bottom lip. "Maybe I can reschedule I mean it's-"

I shook my head "No! Don't be silly. I'm a bit tired anyways, I'll go in my room and settle back, I'll see you when you come back."

"Sure?"

"Yes," I plastered my brightest smile on my face.

Lissa didn't buy it but she knew I would speak when I was ready. We walked back together to the main dorm, talking about random things

"Why did you bring her here?" She finally asked just before we separated.

"She is a good kid Lis, give her some credit."

"It's just…it's just," she blushed slightly. She was both jealous to see the attachment Christian had for her and she was also ashamed to see her as she witness Lissa's 'bad behaviour'

"Just try to give her a chance, you might like her." I smiled, "as for Christian don't worry, the guy has eyes only for you and you know that."

"Yeah?"

I snorted. "Even a blind man could see that you own his heart. Why don't you go to dinner with Christian Jill and her mother tonight? She is a fun kid I promise."

Lissa twisted her mouth in a grimace, considering things. "What about you? You are coming too right?"

I shook my head negatively. "Nah, not tonight. I need to see Tasha and also...I need to set some things right, but I'll see you tomorrow okay?"

"Oh I almost forgot to tell you, Liam requested to be my guardian has been accepted. Did you know he wanted to be my guardian?"

"Yes and I'm glad he is." I said thinking that I needed to thank him big time, knowing he would be by Lissa…along with Dimitri helped me not to feel that bad about leaving her again.

"He is so serious all the time…" Said Lissa as a statement of fact.

I snorted again. "Believe me Lissa, this version of him is cool, the other one is annoying."

She smiled seeing through my pretence. "You are happy he is family aren't you?"

"Yeah" I admitted with a grin.

She sighed. "I need to go get ready to leave, but I'll give you a call later okay?"

"Yes," I hugged her again. "I love you Lissa."

She seemed taken aback for a minute, probably not expecting me to say that…It was true that I was not that kind of girl, I didn't talk about my feelings much.

She searched my face. "Are you sure you're alright Rose?"

"Fine, I promise." I shrugged dismissively. "I just wanted to say it." Since I don't know if you'll forgive me for what I just did I added to myself

"I love you too silly," She said pulling me into another hug. "Okay, I'll phone you later," she said releasing me.

As soon as I reached my room I called Adrian. I hated to pray and I knew it was exactly that right now, but I needed to know if we were broken beyond repair.

His phone didn't ring and went straight to voicemail: "I know how devastated you must be to miss me, but leave a message, and I'll try to ease your agony."

I sighed, Adrian NEVER turned off his phone.

"Adrian it's me. I- I'll be in my room all day please come or give me a call I really need to talk to you. It's..." I sighed again. "Just come over okay? See you." I said stupidly hating to talk on voicemails.

I started to unpacked, but that was quickly done. I took the opportunity to email my mother and father to update them on the situation, not giving much away but simply telling them I was back from my little holiday. I had to stop myself at least three or four times from calling Adrian again, that would be stalker material….Not that I thought he would mind but it was simply not who I was. If he wanted space I would give him space.

After about three hours I was starting to go crazy and I was turning around like a lion in cage, I needed to go out, anywhere. See Tasha, Liam or Jill. I needed to occupy my mind.

At the moment I reached for my keys I heard a quick knock on the door and couldn't stop the smile to spread on my face. Adrian was coming, we could talk everything through.

"I'm glad you came," I said opening the door with a with smile, but my smile faded when I saw the 6'7'' piece of Russian god standing in front of my door.

"Sorry to disappoint you Rose," he said stoically but I could see hurt in his eyes, he apparently figured he was not the one I was expected to see. "But you promised to explain and I think that moment has come."

I sighed moving out of the way gesturing him in. "I presume so," I let out with defeat. "Please come in."

Dimitri walked in briskly quickly assessing his surroundings. He might not be a guardian anymore…at least for now, but his killer instinct was still there.

I closed the door slowly trying to figure out what and how I could tell him things and I knew that whatever would happen from now on, there were no turning back.