A.N: Hey guys!

You didn't see that one coming did you? plus i made it extra long for you guys. Anyways i really hope you will enjoy it and don't forget to review, i LOVE reading you.

Take care,

Steffy

Chapter 18:

I couldn't believe my own eyes, it seemed like a bad dream. I had heard of evil mother-in-law's before but that was crazy shit. Daniella Ivashkov was pointing a gun at me and all I could say was that her hand was sure and her face was determined.

"Lady Ivashkov…" I tried to take a step closer keeping my hands in the air. I needed to get closer to even consider disarming her, but I was most likely going to be shot anyways.

"Stay where you are," she said coldly jerking the gun toward me.

"Why are you doing this?" I asked genuinely curious. I knew I was on more than one hit list…mostly Strigoi, but I would have never imagined, not even in a million year, that Adrian's mother would ever hold me at gunpoint.

"I knew you were not good enough but she didn't want to listen," she said completely ignoring my question.

Why was she saying 'she' instead of 'he'? But I was clearly not in position to comment here.

"She was already starting to destroy everything. I heard Nathan talk with Rufus, she always had a soft spot for you dhampirs, and she was trying to protect you in her own way to the detriment of our own safety! What kind of monarch does that?" She spat.

A fair one? I thought letting my hands down very slowly as my arms were killing me now.

"And then Adrian brought you home, I thought it was just for fun. I mean…he is a young man, and young men have to have fun with girls like you before settling with a good Moroi woman."

Call me a whore while you're at it! I thought and it killed me not to be able to say anything but I would risk pushing her over the edge and having her shoot me right then. She was continuing her ranting pretty much ignoring my hands. I slowly brought my hand to my back jeans' pocket and got my phone halfway out. I pressed the repertory button and scrolled a bit before pressing a random button hoping that the person I was calling would answer and be smart enough to come and save me.

"And you think that coming in my room and pointing a gun to my head will make things better?" I asked loudly in the hope that whomever answered the phone would comprehend the urgency of the situation.

"You are just like a cockroach, you won't go away!" She said with so much hate that it took my breath away. "I had to kill her partially because of you too you know. You have her blood on your hands just as much as I do."

"Her blood? What a- You killed the Queen?" I asked almost falling flat on my butt with surprise.

"She just DIDN'T want to listen. I knew once Adrian took you to the Death watch ceremony that he was lost. I let the others believe that it was just one more of my son's stupid rebellious acts." She shook her head, "but I knew better and I knew Tatiana did too. But I wanted to be nice…give you the benefit of the doubt, maybe you were better than I thought if you managed to steal my son's heart when so many girls tried and failed before you. So I invited you to the reception I organized, it was a great honor you know, but you didn't come and I got to see my son getting sadder by the minute realizing you wouldn't show…Do you know how that feels? Of course you don't!"

"I-"

"I'm still talking!" she shouted. "I thought she would help me get rid of you so I went to see her in her room. I begged her to send you away, but she said I should respect Adrian's choice that if you were what he chose for himself I had to let it go! How could she say that? She always thought I was not good enough for Nathan but I was a royal! But you mere dhampir, you were good enough? She wanted to announce that she endorsed your relationship. I couldn't let that happen, it was impossible! That's when I understood she really wanted to destroy us. Nathan was right…she was too soft, she was going to let us die. She had to be stopped."

"But…Why me? Why use my stake?" I asked in a whisper losing the hope of someone coming to rescue me.

"I knew how to stake people, that was the good point of being a 'low' royal, when I was young. I had guardian friends who taught me one or two things. I never thought you would manage to get out of that one but of course you did…" She sighed, "but now it's just too much, I thought you learned that when you came yesterday to talk with Adrian. I thought you realized how lucky you were and what do you do today? You go kiss another man…That former Strigoi."

I looked at her speechless...she saw me kiss Dimitri? Was it what threw her over the edge?

"I realized I needed to take this matter into my own hands, you need to die." She raised her gun even higher, I could feel it aiming at my forehead. "He might be sad for a while but it won't last forever, he'll find another girl. Someone worthy of him and our name…Once your gone everything will be better."

"Allow me to doubt that," said a deep voice taking both Daniella and I by surprise.

Daniella only gave a quick look keeping the gun aimed at my forehead. I turned my head to see Liam with two other guards. I was not sure I ever saw them before but the pin on their collar led me to think they were from the former Queen's guard. The big black one on Liam's left had a gun in his hand, which was so unusual for a guardian, but I guessed it was the proper way to deal with an armed wacko.

"Are you alright Rose?" Asked Liam with concern.

"I couldn't be better." I said with heavy sarcasm, but I was glad he was the one I phoned, he was family. He was the only one who might have come and save me.

The guard with the gun took a quick step on the side probably trying to calculate how to disarm her.

"I have been taking shooting lessons for years. She will have a bullet in-between the eyes before you even get a chance to stop me," she said throwing a sidelong glare to the guards.

"You won't get out of this one you know." Said Liam taking a small step toward me. "We heard you killed the Queen and now you are threatening a guardian…"

"But maybe I don't want to get out of it, maybe taking her out will be satisfactory enough for me. At least I'd know you got what you deserved."

That's when, out of nowhere, Adrian walked in and came to stand in front of me. He reached back and pulled me to his back. "If you want to kill her you'll have to take me out first." He said and I could hear that his words were slightly slurred. He was already drunk today.

"But don't you see? You'll be so much better without her! See what she is doing to you? You can keep telling yourself that you were never as happy as when you are with her and you might be right, but I also never saw you sadder or more tortured before. This girl is cheating on you!"

"If you killed her, I know I won't be happy ever again mom. Is this what you wish for me? A life full of pain and regret." He tightened his hold on me and I peeked from his side. "You know me enough mother, look at me and tell me that you know I will love anyone as much as I love her."

I saw Daniella's hands starting to quiver as her eyes filled up with tears.

"Let go of the gun mom and let's talk about it," said Adrian letting go of me. "Stay were you are," he whispered to me starting to move slowly toward his mother. "We can find a solution." He said soothingly trying to find her eyes, probably wanting to compel her but she knew better and skillfully avoided any direct eye contact.

"I won't go to Jail! I couldn't face the humiliation," she said with despair clear in her voice.

"Mom-"

"I'm sorry," she cried out as I heard a gun shot and Adrian's face splashed with blood.

All I could think was how eerie the blood looked on Adrian's pale skin, I turned to meet Liam's eyes before everything went black.

I woke up in a room that was clearly not mine, but I had been in enough clinics to presume I was at the court clinic. I closed my eyes and growled. I couldn't believe I had passed out like an amateur, I had seen so many horrible things, I had lived so many life threatening situations and I was passing out? How absurd was that!

I looked around and saw my clothes on the back of a chair, what was so noticeable was the absence of my friends or anyone that ever knew me. I was alone in my room, nobody was worried enough to stay by my side and it hurt me deep.

I sighed getting out of the bed, I was stiff, how long was I out for? I got into my jeans, sweater and trainers before starting to snoop about trying to find answers. I found my chart at the end of my bed. I had been out for almost two days, no wonder I was stiff.

I opened the door and walked down the corridor as I saw a door open. As I walked in, I saw a man sitting behind a desk talking into a tape recorder. I recognized him as being Doctor Verdi, the man who monitored the compulsion at my trial.

I knocked at the door. "I'm going to go now," I told him as soon as he looked up.

"Guardian Hathaway," he jumped from his seat. "I'm glad to see you're awake."

"I'm going now, but thanks." I said turning around.

"No please! I...I just want to check your vitals, it will just take a minute." He said coming to stand in front of me.

I sighed and nodded resigned. It was not like I was missed by anyone. "How…What happened to me?" I asked following him in an exam room.

"Sometimes dealing with traumatic experiences…" He shrugged slightly. "Sometimes your brain needs to shut down for a while to deal with things." He took my blood pressure.

"But…How are the others doing?" I asked not really knowing how to ask things.

Doctor Verdi looked down pretending to be looking for something. "We couldn't do anything," he said sadly. "She was dead before hitting the floor and…and her son was in no state to do anything."

"Adrian!" I shouted jumping from the table so fast that it made me dizzy.

"Miss please you need to stay I-"

"No I have to go, he needs me." I said rushing out like an headless chicken not really knowing where to look for Adrian.

I decided to try with his room first, it was as good as a guess than anything else. I was passing the guests building when I heard Jill calling me.

I turned around as she ran toward me.

She was breathless but she didn't look mad. I guessed she didn't know anything yet. "I'm glad you are feeling better."

"Yeah…I…Do you know where Adrian is?" I asked

She shook her head negatively. "He closed himself, he refuses to see anybody."

"I'm sorry Jill, we'll talk later but I really need to find him," I said patting her shoulder. "I-"

"Is it true?" She asked cutting me off. "Just tell me that please."

"What is?"

"Lissa and I…Are we sisters?"

"Who told you that?"

"Lissa did."

I nodded. "Yes you are. You…you're not mad at me for tricking you in coming here?"

She gave me a weak smile. "You gave me a family Rose, it might not be a perfect family or a perfect way to find out, but you gave me a sister…a history I can't be mad." She reached for my hand and squeezed it. "As for Lissa -"

"I don't want to hear it," I said gently. "Everything has been said, but I'm glad I made right by you. Take care," I added before rushing towards my room. I realized that if Adrian was in hiding I would need the key card to enter his room.

When I entered my room to retrieve the card I could still see the faint traces of blood on the carpet…Daniella's blood. I closed my eyes and leaned against the wall. I was partially responsible of her death…I pushed her into crazy motherly mode.

I took Adrian's key not wanting to stay a minute more than necessary in that room.

When I made it to his apartment I knocked a couple of times, but as expected he didn't open.

I sighed sliding the key card in and opening the door. The odor of alcohol filled my nose making me dizzy. I could hear Cat& Mouse by Red Jumpsuit apparatus coming from the bedroom.

"Adrian?" I called walking toward the bedroom.

I found him sitting on the floor in a corner, half an empty bottle of vodka in his hand and I could see another empty bottle by his left foot.

I came to kneel in front of him "Adrian," I called cautiously.

He opened his blood shot eyes. "Rose? Is that really you? I saw you so many times today." He raised his hand with difficulty trying to touch me but I was out of reach.

I crawled closer straddling his legs now taking his hand and bringing it to my cheek. "Yes I'm here."

"I tried to wash it off, over and over again but I can still feel it," he slurred. "It's still here… I can feel it like fire."

"What is still here baby?" I asked kissing the palm of his hand.

"Her blood…" he let go of my hand and touched his cheek. "Her blood on my face."

I closed my eyes. "I'm so sorry Adrian…so sorry."

He shook his head. "I'm the one to blame." Some silent tears starting to fall down his cheeks. "I knew she wasn't doing well, she was treated for severe depression, but my father kept telling me she was better. He always was a selfish bastard! I should have known."

"Adrian you can't blame yourself for-"

"And I'm the one who saw you kiss Belikov. It broke my heart Rose really and I told her, I don't know why I did that... it's just…I needed to talk with someone."

That's when I started to cry too. "Adrian I didn't mean to, it doesn't change anything. I broke off the kiss." I reached for his face and held it in between my hands looking deep into his eyes hoping he would see I meant it. "I'm with you, I'm going to stay here with you." And I realized I meant it. I wanted to run away but Adrian needed me and I loved him.

"It's not your fault Rose, when he was back I knew things had changed. I shouldn't have kept you locked in this relationship. I knew you would stay true to your words." He reached for my face and very softly brushed my cheek. "You have to go with Tasha."

This had the effect of a slap "WHY would you let me go? I'm really sorry Adrian I know I messed it up again but…". I bit my bottom lip almost scared to ask my next questions. "Don't you love me anymore? I thought you wanted me, I thought you needed me."

"I want you, I'll always want you, but you don't know what you want or who you want. Him or me?"

I was about to say something but he brought his hand to my lips to stop me

"You have to go with Tasha and make a choice. You are free to chose whomever you want, the promise you made was wrong from day one and I'm the one to blame for subconsciously making you stick with it." He gave me a pale attempt of a smile. "Whoever you chose, him or me, you will have to hold on, no matter what. This incertitude keeps hurting us, you, me... and even him." He took a deep breath. "Just go, take the time you need, I'll be waiting."

"Adrian don't push me away…not you too. Please."

"You know how you said sometimes you have to do the right things even if it might hurt? You will see in the long run that it is for the best Rose…I don't want you to settle for me, I want you to choose me. I'll be alright, I'm dealing, just go. Don't chose me because you are scared for me, chose me because you cannot imagine your life without me."

Now it was official, all the people that meant the most to me gave up on me. I stood up walking to the door, I had decided to go without another word but it was just too hard. The way things were, it might just be the last time I ever saw him. "You don't know how much I wanted you to tell me to stay…Goodbye," I whispered before leaving rushing to Tasha room that was just one floor up.

I knocked frantically. When she opened I saw her pale. I imagined I looked like shit.

"Rose? Rose what is it?" She asked opening the door wide gesturing me in.

"When can we leave?" I asked ignoring her question. "How long do you need to stay here?"

"I-" She seemed taken aback by my question

"And before you ask, yes I know I'm running away, but I just can't take it anymore okay? I just…can't," I admitted wearily.

"We can go today if you want," she said resting her hand on my shoulder.

I nodded gratefully." I'm going to go get my stuff ready, I don't have much."

She looked at her watch. "An hour in the car park?"

I decided to leave my memories behind and just took my clothes and stake leaving my pictures and gifts on the bed.

I still had a lot of time to spare so I sat down and wrote a letter. I didn't know if they were ever going to read it. I didn't even know what to put in the letter or who to address it to.

I sighed deciding to just go with the flow.

I understand I hurt you guys and I'm sorry, but I truly did it with good intentions. If I had ever thought that things would turn out this way I would have done things differently. But it's too late now. I think we all need time to heal and get over things, even me. We need time to heal, lets stay away for a while. A year…five years or even ten years. We need the distance and New York is where I need to be.

Please just let me be, don't try to contact me or come to see me. I also need to let go for a while. I have nothing left to sacrifice now.

You won't probably read this letter as you probably forgot I even existed.

I hope you are all doing well,

Rose.

I went to Liam's room and gave him the letter telling him to open it and read it to my former friends only if any of them expressed the desire to contact me.

Liam gave me a quick hug and told me he would come to see me in New York.

When I made it to the car park I found Tasha leaning against her truck.

"Are you sure that's what you want to do?"

I nodded throwing my back in the back of the truck. "Yes, I have to leave this life behind, I gave up everything I had….everything I ever had."

"You know, not that it matters, but when we found out about the shooting Lissa was frantic and she was probably the first one at the hospital."

I ignored the comment looking at the road straight ahead. She might have been there, but she left me and I woke up alone. The message was clear now I was alone and maybe it was for the best.