3

Well, my searching and wandering paid off. I found Robin Hood and his Merry Men, and durn if I didn't write a little song about it.

Oh it's hard to be

Way down in a cave

Where it always seems

Like you're in a grave

But when you're thieves

Or scurvy knaves

Then your own hide

You have to save.

Robin Hood stepped out of the bushes, smiling as gallantly as ever but fixing the point of his sword directly at the two time-travelers.

"If you two dapper gentlemen would do me the favor of handing over all your worldly possessions, the good people of Nottingham would be eternally in your debt," he said.

"Whoa, whoa, wait a minute," protested Marty. "No way am I giving you my Walkman!"

"Good Robin Hood," said Doc, as if he was talking to someone quite unfamiliar with the English language, "we are but poor travelers ourselves, merely trying to get by…"

"In a flying chariot?" scoffed Robin Hood. "In your fine silks and linens? Be serious, sirs. You are two spoiled nobles, joyriding with your contraption. I don't begrudge you a little fun, I really don't. But you are going to give your chariot to me," he said, his voice getting steely. "This is not a request."

"You can't do that!" declared Marty, swinging his blade around to face the fox.

"Well, I am Robin Hood," said Robin Hood dryly. "And what I do is rob from the rich and give to the poor. Hence…"

And with that, he dashed forward, swinging his sword in a sideways arc. Marty clumsily parried, and suddenly the forest was alive with the sound of steel on steel. Robin Hood pressed forward almost casually, keeping his left hand behind his back, while Marty attempted to swat away his strikes as if he was playing tennis.

"Doc!" Marty yelled. "What do I do?!"

Doc was frozen, slack-jawed. "I…I was so sure he'd be on our side."

With a powerful twist of the wrist, Robin Hood sent Marty's sword flying into the dirt. He leveled his foil at Marty's throat. "Yield," he said firmly, "and know that I shall use your gifts wisely."

"Rob!" came a low voice.

Marty looked at Doc. "Is that Baloo? Is Baloo in this?"

Little John came crashing through the underbrush, with Skippy the Rabbit following closely behind. "Ease up, Rob," the great bear said. "The kid here tells me that these two are all right. Said they gave him a present and treated him kindly."

"Precisely!" said Doc, gesturing frantically at Little John. "And we fully support your quest to depose the tyrannical prince and return the rightful king to the throne. Of course," he went on thoughtfully, "a representational government would really meet your needs better in the long run…"

Robin sheathed his sword cheerfully, as if it had not been pointed at Marty a second earlier. "Well, then come along then, friends! Let me introduce you to the Merry Men."

"Sorry about Rob," mumbled Little John to Marty as the group trekked through the forest. "I know he seems like he's just havin' fun, but honestly he's under a lot of pressure right now. Every night that good-for-nothin' Prince sends more soldiers into the forest lookin' for him, and as soon as he discovers our hideout, we're done for. And poor Rob is trying to take care of himself and the whole village at the same time…well, it's made him a little more reckless than usual. And that's sayin' something."

Marty, still adjusting to the idea of having a conversation with a bear, laughed nervously. "Hey, no problem. I'm used to unfriendly welcomes."

Robin Hood led the group to a small hill, covered with wet mossy rocks. "Somewhere around here…aha!" he cried. He pushed aside a boulder to reveal a wooden door that seemed to lead directly into the hill itself. "Follow me, everyone!" he cried, as he flipped open the hatch and vanished into the darkness.

"You're kidding," said Marty.

"Nope," said John. "Come on, small fry, if I can fit in there, you can."

Gingerly Marty eased himself into the hole. The tunnel was steep, and Marty found it easier to slide down the crumbling gravel than to risk trying to find a foothold. At the bottom of the path was a cave, far greater in size than Marty would have imagined. A roaring fire was the only source of light, and by the flames Marty could make out Robin Hood joining four other animals.

There was a clatter of gravel behind him as Doc, Skippy, and Little John slid their way into the cave. Little John brushed himself off and put a massive paw on Marty's shoulder. "Come on. Let's meet the gang."

"Ah, yes, introductions!" said Robin Hood, enthusiastically. He waved Marty and Doc over. "My splendid Merry Men, we have new companions. Meet…well, actually, I don't know what your names are."

"Dr. Emmett Brown, inventor of the flux capacitor," said Doc.

"Marty McFly, rock star," said Marty.

"Fantastic! Fantastic!" said Robin jovially. "At last we have a doctor in our group!"

"About time," said Little John, laughing. "My humors have been way imbalanced lately."

"And of course," Robin said to Marty, "you are welcome, too. I particular love your surname: 'Fly-Rock-Star.' Fitting, given your chosen form of transportation. But where are my manners?" He flung a furry arm around a squat, tough-looking bulldog. "This is Will Scarlet…an excellent swordsman and pugilist, and an even better chef."

"Hey," grunted the bulldog, lifting a paw.

Little John gestured to a rooster, strumming on a lute. "This here's Alan-a-Dale. Good for coming up with a ditty or seven."

He then pointed to a tall lizard who seemed to blend in with the rocks. "An' that there is Arthur. Ain't much good in a scrap, but he sure has a way of getting locks to open."

"I resent the implication," said the lizard, "that I am good at anything." He dashed over to Marty and Doc and warmly shook their hands.

"You'll meet Midge when she comes back," continued Robin Hood. He walked over to a weasel, who was staring at Marty and Doc with his arms crossed. "And this fine fellow is Shifty the Weasel. Shifty is the one who writes down all our secret plans in case we forget them later."

"You give all your secret plans to a guy named Shifty the Weasel?" exclaimed Marty, dumbfounded. Shifty hissed at him, and Robin Hood frowned.

"Why should we not trust Shifty?" he asked. "He's been a member of this group for nearly a week now. It is you whom we are taking a great leap of faith on. If you're going to besmirch the name of…"

"Let me talk to my friend," said Doc urgently. "He ate some funny mushrooms and he's been a little off." He hauled Marty out of earshot of the Merry Men. "Marty, you have to be more discreet!"

"Doc, are you kidding me? Look at that guy!" said Marty. At the moment, Shifty the Weasel was smiling evilly and rubbing his paws together. "Why would you possibly trust him?"

"Marty, don't you see? You and I recognize that a character's species and name directly impact their personality type; that's how these sorts of movies work. But those archetypes were created for our dimension; those who live in this dimension just don't see things that way." He sighed. "We'll just have to keep an eye on this ruffian, without appearing overly prejudicial."

Suddenly, there was a clatter of stone and a squeal, and a short, plump figure came scuttering down the chute. It was a mole, and she seemed very excited indeed.

"It's ready!" she said, waddling over to Robin Hood. "We should head out as soon as it gets dark."

"Good work, Midge," said Robin. He paused and glanced at the two humans standing off to his side. "Still, it never hurts to have a back-up plan."