Chapter 12 – Skin Deep

July 2006

Jasper

"I just don't know what happened," Jasper told Derek at her next visit. "I've never had a problem with fireworks, but they started going off and I just freaked out. I don't 'freak out'. I had to go inside and my dad gave me benedryl and tequila until I fell asleep on the couch."

"It reminded you of the war?"

Jasper nodded. "It sounded just like guns and bombs and it was like if I closed my eyes I was back there. I remembered watching my friends die…how I couldn't save Ruby…"

Derek made a few notes. "You know there may have been nothing you could do to save her or any of them."

"I know and I know they knew the sacrifice they might be making. I just think how fucking lucky I was…I should have been dead too."

"Survivor's guilt is a very real thing, but you made it and you have to believe you did so for a reason."

"Why? To come home – marry Matt – have a few kids?"

"Perhaps to continue serving."

"How will I go back if fireworks scare me? How can I be around the guns and bombs…especially after being shot – I don't know what going back will be like. No, that's a lie – I'll be in 'soldier mode' – I'll put all my human feelings aside and, you know, maybe that's why it catches up to me now – when I'm home. I know I can express my feelings here because I'm safe."

"That's right. I suspect last night you felt safe with your dad, right? You felt that you could cry in his presence. You said he was a veteran, so he probably understands where you're coming from."

Jasper sighed. "Except he never saw a lot of action. The only story he's ever told us is the banana story."

"The banana story?"

"He and one of his buddies – Matt's dad – wandered off and found all these banana trees growing in this jungle area, so they thought that all the men would appreciate some fresh fruit. So they grab to bushels each and go back to meet their unit." Jasper laughed a little. "And when they get back their sergeant is talking with this Vietnamese man. It turns out that they and all the banana trees were on his property and the sergeant was negotiating to get some fruit for everyone. Thankfully the guy found it funny and threw in the four bushels my dad and Josh had stolen."

"Do you have a good story from your time over there?"

"Well, there was a time that Sergeant McCoy insinuated that Ruby was there to make sandwiches for everyone, so the major set him to work at dinner that night. He wasn't too happy about it. Did I tell you what happened to him after he shot me?" She filled Derek in on McCoy' demotion. "So, it sounds like he'll be heading back before the end of the month. I bet his wife is furious – privates make a lot less than sergeants."

"You said you'll be up for promotion this year. Do you think you'll go for it?"

"I don't see why not. Nowhere to go but up and I have two years left on my contract. Maybe it'll be different as a sergeant. I'll get to give orders instead of just taking them. I'll be able to help plan battle strategies. Hopefully, I'll be able to do so in a way that minimizes fatalities."

"So, when you go over, you'll feel more in charge – more confident?"

"If I make it to sergeant, yes, but multiple people are interviewed. I don't know that I will."

"I'd still try to keep that confidence. Remember, your experiences don't define you. You can go back to war and face your enemy…and survive. You're strong. You were able to go to your major and tell him what your sergeant did to you and even if it wasn't resolved the way you wanted, that was a big step in your healing."

"Yeah, then he fucking shot me over it."

"Remind yourself that he can't hurt you anymore. And the more you're able to remind yourself of that the more you're able to…"

"Move on and heal."

"Exactly. It's the same with your war experiences. They're memories – bad ones – but you're home and you're safe. Things like fireworks can be triggering – remember we talked about triggers – and when something triggers bad memories you need to remember that you're safe. Take a breath, remind yourself where you are."

Jasper nodded. "I'm trying."

"You're making excellent progress. I have no doubt you're going to get a good point where your mental health is concerned. You're on the right track."

As she left her appointment that day, she tried to remember that…to take things day by day rather than looking at the big picture, but she wondered if she'd really ever be able to fully move on.

Jasper huffed alongside Matt as they ran around base preparing for their fitness test coming up. "I have got to shed a few pounds. I shouldn't have had so much beer on the Fourth." Her boyfriend had returned that week, but between their training and duties they hadn't had much time for socializing. "How was your holiday?"

"It was good. I missed home so much and it was great seeing everyone. I talked a lot about you."

"All bad I hope." She winked at him.

"They'd like to meet you – my parents and sisters."

"We could always video chat with them."

"Actually, I was thinking…will you have enough leave to take a week at Thanksgiving?"

"Yeah…why?"

"We could fly out there and visit them maybe."

Jasper almost stopped in her tracks, but pushed forward. She wasn't aware they were far enough in their relationship for them to go on vacation together, much less traveling all the way across the Pacific to meet his family. "That's a long way."

"It is, but you've never been there and I'm sure you'd like to see where your dad is from, right?"

"True, but Thanksgiving isn't for months."

"And you gotta put your leave in well in advance – especially for a holiday. Besides, I've spent a November here and it's cold and rainy and American Samoa is tropical and sunny, so this is a good idea."

"Tropical like alone time on a white, sandy beach?"

"That could be arranged, yeah." He caught her, spinning her around and kissed her gently. "We could even sneak away for a night…stay in a little beach fale…just us and the waves and the sand…and us…"

"You said that already. So, I have a feeling if I go we won't be in the same room."

"At my parents' place – no way. They'll probably have you in the furthest room from mine."

"My parents are the same. They know I've had sex, but they're not thrilled. Okay, actually, my dad doesn't want to hear about it, but knows I'm an adult. My mom thinks I'm a horrible sinner."

Matt let go and began running alongside her again. "Yeah, but it's not like it was back in the day. People have sex before marriage now, you know – it's normal."

"Heh, in her mind I'm awful for having sex and getting pregnant…"

"Okay, but that was not your fault."

"Yeah, well, I didn't exactly tell her circumstances. I know she's hard on me, but she's still my mom and it would hurt her and she'd tell my dad and it would probably hurt him worse. I can't tell them."

"Maybe someday."

"Yeah, maybe."

"So, another question – you up for a mud run in September?"

"Mud run?"

"Yeah, the Marines are setting it up – it's a 5K with multiple obstacles and you get down and dirty. It's like a flashback to boot camp. I think we should do it."

"Sounds like a blast." Jasper laughed. "I should get my sister to do it. I can't wait to see her reaction."

"Are you effing kidding me?" Amethyst asked as she was out shopping with Jasper. She'd just received an invitation to Roselyn's sweet sixteen party and to her chagrin, the theme was pink. Amethyst made a face at a pink dress on the rack that was misplaced and obviously too small. "A mud run?"

"It's a 5K – it's not even that far."

"What's that in miles?"

"About three."

Her sister whimpered. "Three miles? I can barely do one at school…walking."

"You can walk it and it says in the description that you can opt out of any of the obstacles. C'mon, you were worried about gaining weight – this is a way that you can eat what your doctors want you to and maintain where you're at. You have a free membership at the Y through your job. Start on the treadmill, a little at a time."

"Chyeah, I'll still probably never look like you." Amethyst sighed.

"You're not meant to look like me."

Amethyst held up a really fluffy monstrosity. "Yay for clearance rack prom dresses."

"Barf, that's ugly."

"Why pink? I look better in purple."

"So wear purple. Maybe some pink accessories. Just tell your friend you couldn't find anything in pink. Hey, hot pink." Jasper showed her a dress that was strapless and much shorter than her mother would ever let her wear.

"Yikes. Not sure that's what Roselyn had in mind. She's very…uh…conservative."

"Yeah, I remember from the Fourth. Say, is her accent real?"

"I don't know. Sometimes I swear it falters, but she says her 'daddy's from Jahr-jyah,'" Amethyst mimicked her accent. "So I guess it's possible she'd have one, but I think her mom's from here and she was raised here. Maybe they wanted her to have an accent or something. You know rich people, they're weird."

"If I wanted my kid to have an accent, it would be Australian."

"Damn right – fuckin' sexy."

"Hmmm-hm," Jasper agreed. "But no, my kid's gonna be American and have an accent to match."

"I want to teach mine another language like when they're little so it sticks."

"Well, Mom's going to insist they speak Samoan."

"Yeah, but you're so much better at that. I'm really good at understanding it, but Mom always said I spoke it funny, so I sort of stopped." Amethyst gave an aggravated sigh upon finding another ugly pink dress. "Besides, everyone in the community speaks English. Mom only wants us to learn in case we ever go to Samoa…"

Jasper nodded as she considered a red dress. "Something about you're not really Samoan unless you speak it. Matt mentioned that too. He…uh…asked me to go to Pago Pago with him…and meet his family."

"What did you say?"

"I said I would."

"Hey, that dress is nice. Is it my size?"

"No, it's mine." Jasper held it up to herself. "I haven't worn a dress since prom though."

"You should try it on. I mean, maybe Matt wants to take you somewhere special someday…you know, ask you a question."

Jasper laughed and draped the dress over her arm. "I don't think we're anywhere near that."

"He wants to bring you all the way to Samoa to meet his family. What do you think happens next?"

"You're in high school. What do you know about what happens next?"

"I'm still trying to get a boy to date me."

"Stop trying; be you. The boys will come around."

Amethyst sighed. "You know, I think I will wear that purple dress – the one I wore to the spring dance – and just put some pink jewelry on or something. Why do designers think empire waists are in style? Anyone bigger than Roselyn and they look pregnant." She followed her sister to the dressing rooms. "Hey, speaking of which…have you and Matt…you know?"

"Personal much, Ames?"

Amethyst sat on a plush couch in the middle of the dressing room area while her sister was in a stall trying the dress on. "C'mon, Jasps, I wanna see."

"Hold your horses!" Finally, she emerged, the red dress hugging her curves, stopping just above her knees. The straps were off the shoulder and the neckline plunged down to show enough cleavage to be seductive, but not slutty. It looked off with Jasper in flip-flops and her hair pulled back in a pony tail.

"Damn. H-hang on." Amethyst circled behind her sister and pulled out the elastic tie holding her hair back. She watched as Jasper shook it out. "You could definitely use some layers…maybe a bit of coloring."

"You really think it looks okay? I feel weird in it…dresses aren't me."

"If you don't buy this dress I will lose all respect for you and hit you."

Jasper looked down at her, hands on her hips, her biceps flexing under her banded skin. "Try it." She turned, running one hand along her butt as she studied it in the mirror. "Definitely does something for me back there."

"Get. The. Dress."

"Okay Miss Bossy, geez." Jasper returned to the stall and took a moment to look at herself in the mirror. She struck a pose. It was like this dress had been made for her. She considered what Amethyst had said about her hair and supposed she should make an appointment at the salon. As much as she wasn't a fan of dresses, she smiled as she imagined Matt's reaction when he saw her in it…or maybe when he was slipping it off of her.

August 2006

Amethyst

Amethyst felt bad – she really did – that Peridot's sweet sixteen had been reduced to a small dinner with her family and best friend. They had gone to Red Robin where Amethyst felt the temptation to gorge herself on the bottomless steak fries. She'd shown restraint knowing that the very next day was Roselyn's party. She had gone home looking forward to visiting Roselyn's place, which she was pretty sure would be a mansion. She guessed they would have all sorts of delicious food and a huge cake. Roselyn had told her it would be raspberry champagne flavor. Amethyst wasn't sure what that would taste like, but it sounded divine.

And finally, Saturday came. Amethyst did her makeup and slid on the same purple dress she'd worn to the spring formal, pleased to find it still fit. She made sure her friend's gift was wrapped beautifully. She knew Roselyn would probably get much better, more expensive gifts, but Amethyst hoped she'd like the charm bracelet with the pink rose charm and one of a gold heart.

She slid a headband of pink flowers on her head and then quickly changed her mind. It looked juvenile. They were sixteen now, after all. Some princesses in fairy tales were married at sixteen. It was the age of maturity. Roselyn said later that year she'd 'enter society' in a debutante ball. She'd be old enough to date boys her parents approved of. Her friend was excited about wearing high heels. Amethyst slipped her own feet into silver sandals with a slight heel. She wiggled her toes, admiring the nail polish she'd applied that morning.

"You be careful, okay? Don't talk to strangers on the bus," her mother said.

"I've taken the bus multiple times."

"This one takes an hour to get to your stop and then it's a mile away from Roselyn's house."

Amethyst suppressed the urge to roll her eyes, knowing if she did, her mom may not let her go. "And Roselyn says there's a car that will meet me there."

"You be on your best behavior and remember to thank her parents for inviting you." Penina hugged her.

Her dad gave her a smile. "You look great, Peanut."

"Thanks. Well, bye."

Walking the short distance to the bus stop, she felt as beautiful as her sister had looked in that red dress. She was wearing a pretty dress too and she imagined herself just as tall and confident. Hell, she was confident as she boarded the bus and took a seat by the window where everyone could see her flawless makeup. Amethyst tossed her long hair over her shoulder pretending she had streaks of purple in it that matched her dress. She slid her sunglasses on to hide from the sun's glare. She was mysterious and beautiful and any guy watching the bus go by was enamored by her wondering who she was and where she was going.

Watching the scenery fly by helped and before she knew it, she'd arrived near a posh area of Emerald City where she got off at a stop near a shopping area. There were a few stores she knew the names of and some restaurants including a buffet. God, she was so hungry, but soon she'd be at Roselyn's eating fancy food she'd only ever dreamed of.

Amethyst looked around and saw a sleek, black town car with a driver who was also searching the area. Her confidence waned a little as she remembered her parents telling her long ago not to get in the car with strangers. But this car was sent by Roselyn's family. "Hey, I think you're picking me up?"

"You Amethyst Palamo?" he asked in a deep voice.

"Yeah."

He removed his sunglasses and smiled at her, his eyes friendly. "I'm Tony. I'll be driving you up there."

"Thanks." Amethyst went to open the door herself, but he grabbed it first and motioned for her to get in. She slid onto the leather seat in the back and buckled up, removing her sunglasses as she silently gave thanks for the tinted windows. "This is a nice car."

Tony chuckled. "You ain't from money, are you?"

"No. You?"

"I get by alright now. The pay is decent and I get to drive this sweet ride. Mostly drive Roselyn and she's the nicest of them." He pulled the car onto the road and headed up the street. "She invited you?" When Amethyst nodded, he continued. "That's gotta be a first. Well, don't be shocked when you get there and you're the only one adding a much-needed splash of color to all her rich friends who are clones of each other. All them skinny, blonde-haired girls whose biggest problem is whether to buy that new thoroughbred or not, you know. I call one of them Madeline. 'Oh heavens no, Tony,'" he mimicked Roselyn's accent. "'That's Amanda'. Sorry, Miss, your friends all look the same."

He guided the car up a long driveway and around a fountain before stopping in front of the largest house – mansion, really – that Amethyst had ever seen. Tony must've sensed the awe she was feeling that gave into a sudden lack of the confidence she'd recently held. "Look girl, you go in there and be you. I know Roselyn will be glad you came."

Amethyst stepped out of the car, smoothed her dress and walked up the steps to the huge double doors. Her heart skipped nervously and she checked her purse for the third time since she'd left home to make triple sure she'd remembered Roselyn's gift. Exhaling slowly she rang the bell and stood there for a moment waiting for someone to answer. She folded her hands in front of her instead of putting them on her hips or crossing her arms, as not to look impatient. She was about to press the button again when a woman in a maid outfit answered and smiled at her. "Welcome. Are you here for the party?"

"Yes…I mean, yes ma'am."

The maid smiled and spoke with a soft accent. "You can call me Perla like everyone else. Do you have your invitation?"

Amethyst dug the pink envelope out of her purse and handed it to her then followed her into the mansion. The floor was marble and two staircases curved around and up to another story. Entryways were visible and Amethyst wondered where they went to. The walls were lined with paintings and elegant mahogany furniture had vases of fresh flowers on them. She'd never been in such a fancy home. It looked like something out of a magazine or TV show.

"Perla, who is that?"

The voice belonged to a man with an accent the same as Roselyn's. Amethyst turned to see a man dressed in a white suit, which she felt was an odd choice, though it complemented his dark blond hair and mustache. She remembered her mother's instructions to be on her best behavior and Tony's advice about being herself. "You must be Roselyn's dad. Hi, I'm Amethyst."

His pale eyes flickered to her extended hand, but he made no move to shake it. "You're…Amethyst? Roselyn never mentioned…do you have your invitation?"

Perla held it out to him. "Yes, she has."

He scanned it and gave an apologetic smile. "I'm afraid your invitation is not valid. You'll have to leave."

Amethyst's heart sank and disbelief filled her. "What? But…she handed it to me…we've talked about it for the past few weeks…she's expecting me."

"It appears there is information she withheld from me and I'm not entirely comfortable with you attending her party…or having influence over my daughter."

"You don't even know me," defiance tinged her voice. "I traveled an hour by bus to get here."

"I suppose I could have Tony drive you back if getting home is a problem, but you may not attend my daughter's party."

There was no apology and, as far as Amethyst had heard, no valid reason. He'd only simply looked at her and decided she wasn't allowed to be there.

Roselyn's father motioned for the maid to step to the side with him and spoke in hushed tones though Amethyst could still here. "Perla, take care of this please. I'd prefer she not cause a scene."

"Sir, I rarely argue, but she has come a long way…"

"We are not discussing it any further. Get that colored girl off my property."

The ugly reality of the situation stung and angry heat burned in her cheeks. But that couldn't be. Tony was black and Perla was Latina, so why wasn't Amethyst allowed in the house or at the party? Then she realized – they were hired to work there. She could try to say something, but what? To scream at him, to lose her cool and call him a dick would only serve to solidify some prejudice he already had about her. She watched as he walked off. She hadn't even seen her friend.

Perla came over and offered a sad smile. "I'm so sorry, but you do have to go now."

Her eyes stung and she swallowed trying to keep her throat from constricting. "Um, could you make sure Roselyn gets my gift? Please."

She took the small box from Amethyst and squeezed her hand. "Of course. You should know Roselyn isn't like her father."

"I know." But in this environment how long before she started thinking that way? Amethyst left the impressive house, which had lost its allure for her. There was no sign of Tony, but she honestly didn't want to accept any favors from Roselyn's family. She began walking down the driveway and didn't allow herself to cry until she was out on the sidewalk again.

Amethyst wiped her tears away and cried harder when she saw a smear of dark eye liner on her hand. Great, now she wasn't perfect or pretty or any such thing. Now she was just a silly teenage girl crying over not being able to go to a party. Except she wasn't. She was crying because she'd never encountered this level of blatant racism before. Living in a very tolerant and liberal area of the country, she'd never expected it. She knew it happened – she did – but she'd never expected it here and now.

She put her sunglasses on and began a long walk back to the bus stop. Her stomach was a ball of nerves, tense and growling. She was also starving. She'd skipped lunch so she could feast on good food at the party. Upon arriving, she saw a group of people waiting at the tiny stop and hung back from the crowd. Her parents expected her to be gone for hours. Her dad wasn't going to pick her up from the stop close to home until nine or so. It was only five. She looked behind her at the small shopping center. She didn't have a ton of money, but there was a thrift store there – the same kind she had near her house. She wiped the sweat off her forehead and rolled her eyes at the makeup that had come off. At least they'd have air conditioning.

Then the delicious smell of food found her nose and her stomach complained loudly. Her eyes found the sign for the buffet, but she felt silly being all on her own in a fancy dress. She stepped into the thrift store and she browsed the racks, finding a pair of jeans in her size and a white tank top with a bedazzled neckline and a flag on it. At least it was only two dollars being Fourth of July leftovers, but the pants were twenty. Yeah, I don't think so, she thought. She grabbed a pair of sweatpants with the sale color tag. She gathered a few more items including a gold necklace with a flower pendant on it and a handkerchief with an 'A' embroidered on it in purple. She piled on a few more items she never intended to buy. She browsed the book section and picked out a teen romance novel that looked decent and was fifty cents on sale. Once in the dressing room, she switched the tags on the pants so the jeans would only cost her three dollars and plucked the tags from the handkerchief and necklace and sliding them into a pocket in her purse she then zipped up. She tried on the jeans and found they were a little loose, smiling at that. Finally ready, she took the clothes and book to the register.

Every time she did this her heart pounded nervously, but as usual, the girl at the register who looked about her age didn't seem to care. She just rung up her purchases, handing them to her in a bag and telling her to have a nice day, her voice devoid of sincerity. Amethyst ducked into the bathroom and changed into the casual clothes, tossing her dress into the plastic bag before leaving the store and heading toward the buffet. Yay to a few hours of sitting around eating and reading her book.

The buffet was filled with mostly old people and she paid for dinner before claiming a corner table with her bag from the store on a chair and her book on the table. She skipped the salad bar and went straight for the meat section, piling her plate with ham, roast beef, fried chicken and two rolls with butter. She filled a second plate with mashed potatoes and gravy, onion rings, waffle fries and two scoops of corn. She sat down and delved into the book while mindlessly shoveling food into her mouth. She sat there after the plates were clean allowing herself to feel full for a little while, then went to the bathroom to get rid of it.

And back to the buffet Amethyst went. She imagined what she'd tell her parents. They couldn't know the truth – it would upset them. They'd been so nice and welcoming to Roselyn and Amethyst had been turned away at her friend's house. She wondered if Roselyn knew. What if she'd been told Amethyst had simply never showed up?

Another trip to the bathroom. A plate full of dessert followed as she tried to concentrate on her book, but hearing the words Roselyn's dad had said to her and about her over and over in her mind. What would she tell her own father when he picked her up and saw she was wearing these clothes? She'd say the party was awesome. She'd say it was amazing and she'd eaten delicious food and danced and that Roselyn had loved her gift. She'd tell them it ended earlier than she'd anticipated and she'd had a chance to duck into the thrift store. They'd believe that, right?

She hoped they would. That way they'd never have to know what was said or worry about her friendship with Roselyn. Roselyn wasn't like her dad; she was a good person. But after everything, would she still be Amethyst's friend or would they have to go their separate ways?

Amethyst didn't tell Flo about the buffet or about stealing from the thrift shop. She honestly felt embarrassed and horrible about dealing with her problems that way. She'd been doing so well and she didn't want one incident to possibly land her in an inpatient program. However, she did tell her therapist all about the run-in with Roselyn's father. "I can't believe he did that. I'm not a different species or something and he doesn't even know anything about me or what kind of influence I have on his daughter. News flash – it's really none. In fact, Roselyn seems to be getting better since being my friend."

"Racism is a disgusting thing," Flo told her.

"Chyeah, no duh! God, I wanted to punch him, but it's kind of a stereotype that we're violent, so that wouldn't have exactly made me look good."

"Stereotype or not, violence is never a healthy way to solve things."

"Like Mom would tell me to use my words…"

Flo made a note on her clipboard. "It's almost impossible to reason with someone who has a racist mindset. I think you did exactly the only thing you could. You understood it wasn't a situation you could talk yourself out of, so you held your head high and walked out with class."

Amethyst scoffed. "Yeah, I dunno about 'class.'"

"You are more than your skin color. Just like you're more than your eating disorder. These things are part of you, but they do not define you. You are your own unique person beyond any physical trait or event in your life. True friends will see this and not the other things. Why do you think Roselyn likes you?"

"Because I'm awesome. I mean, I think her life is very proper and kind of boring. Her driver said all her friends were the same. I'm different from the other people she knows. I'm part of the real world – a glimpse into something beyond her structured upbringing."

"And I think she sees who you are on the inside. I'm sure whatever she's been told, she'll listen and understand what happened."

Amethyst was still nervous as she left her appointment and went to the cafeteria. Roselyn was not there. She bought her standard pudding and iced tea and sat at a round table waiting. Usually she'd talk to her friend and wished she'd brought her book. It was ten minutes to support group before she heard the unmistakable sound of heels hurrying toward the table and Roselyn practically fell into a chair. "Oh my goodness, there was so much traffic, but I knew I had to talk to you."

"I came to your party, but your dad…"

Roselyn covered Amethyst's hand with hers, the charm bracelet dangling from her thin wrist. "I know. Perla told me everything. I am so sorry. Daddy's not really a bad person…he just thinks differently…"

"No, thinking differently and racism are two completely separate things. He wouldn't let me go to your party because I'm not white. That's sick."

"I-I don't think that way…I don't…I wanted you there."

Amethyst sat back and crossed her arms. "You didn't tell him I was Pacific Islander."

"I didn't know he would be there. Mama wouldn't care – she'd love you – and I thought he'd still be away on business, but he came home early to surprise me. You don't really think I'm…like him…do you?"

She couldn't be mad at Roselyn. She believed her friend, especially since she was wearing the gift Amethyst had given her. "Of course I don't. So…are you and Perla close?"

Roselyn nodded and smiled. "She's worked for the family as long as I can remember. She used to sing this song to me in Spanish – La Cucaracha. Do you know it?"

Amethyst laughed. "Yeah, everyone knows that song."

"I speak fluent French, but that's the only Spanish I know."

"I've taken two years of Spanish in school and I can hardly order a taco."

"I don't think I've ever eaten a taco."

"What?!" Amethyst took a sip of her iced tea. "Well, we should go out for tacos."

"Oh, well, do they have vegan tacos?"

"Pfffft, no – no vegan tacos. C'mon, you're in treatment for an eating disorder. Don't you want to come back next week and tell the group you ate a whole taco? Your therapist will probably be proud of you. So will your nutritionist. I bet it would even make your mama happy."

Roselyn was silent for a moment, her mouth twisted up as she thought. "Can it…can it be a healthy taco? With vegetables…maybe I could try some beans on it."

"In it. And sure. Next week after group, we're going out. No changes, no excuses."

Her friend gave her a genuine smile. "Well, okay then. It's a plan."