Chapter 13 - Confessions

August 2006

Amethyst

Amethyst finished wiping the mirror in the women's locker room and studied herself in it. YMCA shirt and pulled back hair…wow…she was stunning. Not. She pulled the shirt tighter around her and frowned at her tummy. Maybe having tacos with Roselyn later wasn't such a good idea.

"Hey, Amethyst, how's it going?" Auntie Su asked as she stopped in front of the mirror and tucked some loose hair behind her ear.

"It's okay, I guess." She looked at Su. She was certain the woman had babysat her a time or two when she was younger, but then in their community, everyone looked out for the kids. That's likely what her auntie was doing when she helped Amethyst get this job. "Teaching more dance classes?"

"Yep. You should try it sometime. Zumba's a personal favorite of mine. I'm also helping Linda with her hula classes. The kids are so cute. My daughter's in the class. I'm trying to teach her to siva Samoa, but she gets the moves confused. Five-year-olds, right?"

Damn, it sure didn't look like Su had a kid. Maybe she wasn't as muscular, but she was built much like Jasper. "My mom said she used to dance. I think she tried teaching Jasper, but not me."

"You have the perfect curves for it. You're welcome to come to my place and I'll give you lessons. We have to pass it on sometime or it'll die when we do."

"Please, you can't be much older than my sister. You're not dying anytime soon."

"Well, think about it." Su smoothed out the front of her shirt. "It'll be fun and it's exercise."

Amethyst looked at herself in the mirror again as her auntie left. She placed her hands on her hips. Maybe she was more than just fat…she was curvy. Perhaps dance would be the best way to show off those curves.

Amethyst laughed at Peridot's driver's permit picture. "Oh geez, you didn't even bother to comb your hair."

"I did too!" Peridot snatched it away.

"That's okay. My face looks super fat in mine." Amethyst unwrapped a taco and looked at Roselyn. "Are you taking driver's ed?"

"Why? I can just get Tony to drive me if need be." Roselyn looked around, her eyes falling on the condiment and napkin area. "Do they have silverware here?"

"It's Taco Bell, so no." Amethyst picked up her taco and crunched into it. "I still can't believe you've never eaten a taco."

"It's not something our cook makes." Roselyn picked up one of the tomato chunks with her fingers and put it in her mouth. "Are the vegetables organic?"

"No…they're the opposite of organic. Full of God only knows what." Over the course of lunch, she told Roselyn about the mud run and how she'd convinced Peridot to go with her. "Jasper says she'll take us out for ice cream later."

"Oh, I haven't had ice cream in years," Roselyn said. "Once I started getting really good in ballet and they said I could go all the way, I started dieting."

"Do you still dance?" Peridot asked.

Roselyn sadly shook her head. "Not since I got sick."

"Pearl used to dance ballet," Peridot told her. "My parents installed a barre in our basement so she could practice."

"My parents did something similar…"

"Let me guess, they built you your own studio," Amethyst said.

"But…it was fairly small…" Roselyn's cheeks turned as pink as her dress. "Is this sour cream fat free?"

"No, it's probably the full fat kind." Amethyst took another bite. "Don't worry about it; just eat it."

"Besides, they put all sorts of sugar and other additives in fat free dairy to make it taste better," Peridot pointed out as she pushed her glasses up. "Despite being higher in calories, full fat is actually healthier for you." She shrugged when Amethyst gave her a look. "What? I read it in a health magazine at the doctor's office."

"Are you sick too?" Roselyn asked. "Like us?"

"No...I was just there for a checkup."

"That must be nice. Every time I go in it's usually low iron or electrolytes…or something…gets my parents' attention anyway."

"You don't see them much, do you?" Amethyst sat back in her chair. "And I'm always bitching that my mom's constantly up in my business."

Peridot chuckled. "Yeah, mine too."

"You two are very lucky. Your families might be 'in your business' and loud and at times crass – well, your sisters are – but when I visited there was a lot of love." Roselyn took a breath. "My family is so fake. To see a picture of us you'd think we're perfect."

"Yeah, well, your dad's attitude toward me shattered any image I had of that," Amethyst interjected.

"Exactly. We were happy once – before the money. I hardly remember because by the time I was five, Daddy's company had taken off and I had anything I ever wanted. Then he stopped speaking to my aunt because she came out and divorced her husband. Just when he thought it couldn't get anymore scandalous, she starts shacking up with an Indian woman. We see them from time to time, but it's always civil. We didn't go to their wedding…well, it was a ceremony…it's not legally recognized, of course."

Peridot twisted her fingers together. "Your dad really doesn't talk to your aunt just because she's gay?"

"Yes, but you'd never know because when we take pictures, we're one big happy family with no cracks and nothing wrong. Even why I go to the hospital is under wraps. Once I started losing my hair from malnutrition it was very easy for them to weave some story about leukemia."

Amethyst gave a low whistle. "Jesus…"

"Your hair looks fine though," Peridot told her.

Roselyn gave a small scoff. "Yes, good money will buy a good wig – all lace, human hair – so I look perfect, like I belong."

"You'll be in college in a couple of years," Peridot pointed out. "You can have more freedom then."

"Except I'll probably be going somewhere where everyone knows my family. It'll never end…I just have to keep up the image until I die, I guess." She picked up a little bit of lettuce and put it in her mouth.

That was going to happen sooner rather than later if she kept this up, Amethyst realized. She'd spent so much time hoping that Roselyn would get better, she'd never stopped to think about the real possibility that it may never happen.

September 2006

"Great kickoff to the new school year, huh, Ames?" Jasper asked as she stretched before the run.

"Okay, maybe you and Matt love your exercise, but getting up at the butt crack of dawn to stomp through the mud is not the way Peri and I like to start our Labor Day weekend." Amethyst looked at the two of them dressed in cargo pants, Army T-shirts and boots that were probably much like they wore with their uniforms. She glanced down at her own attire of sweat pants and an old T-shirt of her dad's that he said he didn't mind getting dirty. She quickly took her hair out of its pony tail and re-tied it in a bun.

"Runners, listen up!" A man in Marine camouflage stood in front of the hundred-or-so people who signed up for the run. "You start in one minute! There will be ways to avoid every obstacle if you choose not to participate!"

"Why is he shouting at us?" Peridot asked quietly.

"Prizes will be rewarded to the first three people across the finish line, but all of you will receive a ticket good for one free beer – or soda if you're underage – at the drink stand after the run! To the start line and go when you hear the gunshot!"

Amethyst stood next to Jasper near the front and gave her a smile. Jasper returned it with a smug grin of her own.

The Marine stopped in front of her sister and Matt. "Good luck, Army."

Just seconds after he'd stepped out of the way, a loud bang echoed through the air and people rushed off, the pounding of their shoes surrounding Amethyst and Peridot as they slowly started walking towards a path to a wooded area. Amethyst looked for her sister, but Jasper had sprinted ahead. It wasn't too long before the pair of them got to the first obstacle with the others who chose to walk. It was a simple walk on a fallen tree over a mud pit – complete with ropes to hang onto. The next was a spider web design made of rope that they hopped through.

Then at the bottom of a steep hill came the 'peanut butter pits' where she and Peridot had to slog through calf-deep mud that was sticker and thicker than any Amethyst had come across before. She looked for a way to get out and go around. "Um…excuse me, but how do I skip this?"

"You can go back up that hill and around." The Marine told her.

"No, fuck that." She trudged forward, her shoe sliding off. She dug around in the mud for it and pulled it out. Trying to take another step and her calf cramped horribly. "Ow!"

Peridot was carrying her own shoes. "I lost my socks."

Amethyst rubbed the cramp out of her leg, pulled her foot out of her other shoe and then proceeded to slowly make her way through the pit back to the dirt trail. She slid her bare feet into her sneakers. "Man, fuck this noise."

The two of them ran to catch up to the others, passing by an obstacle that was closed. When they asked they were told it had been a tarp turned into a slide, but three people had broken bones. They were bypassed to the next challenge where they were shown two pyramids of metal boxes.

"Ammo cases," the man in camouflage said. "The bigger ones are twenty pounds and the pink ones are ten."

They each grabbed two pink cases and carried them the next hundred yards to the next obstacle. Amethyst plunked hers down and stood there catching her breath. "God, what next?"

"Into the swamp maze you go."

"Oh…geez…" Peridot followed behind Amethyst.

The liquid mud was up to their hips and it was a long, winding path through reeds almost taller than they were. The sun beat down on them and Amethyst wiped sweat from her forehead wishing she had some sort of hat. Peridot yelped behind her and there was a splash, splattering Amethyst's back in sludge. Peridot rose from the mud and took a breath, wiping her eyes as best she could.

"Here." Amethyst let her wipe her hands on a dry patch of her shirt and looked at her friend's suddenly changed appearance. It wasn't the mud or that her pale hair was now dark and matted to her head. "Oh, Per, your glasses."

Peridot's fingers smoothed the area over her eyes and she opened them. "Stars! I can't see!"

"I'll help you." Amethyst let Peridot cling to her arm and together they made their way through the mud, breathing a sigh of relief when they exited into a cleared area. Holes had been dug into the ground, filled with dirty water and barbed wire twisted above the entire obstacle. "I'm in hell…what is that?"

A woman in camouflage stood there. "You crawl under the wire – it's been slightly electrified…"

"Yeah, that's a no – big no." Amethyst and Peridot walked around that one and found the next was no easier. A ten foot wooden wall stood on one side of a large mud puddle. The only way up was a rope. "You've got to be fucking kidding me…"

"Let's just…" Peridot huffed. "Let's just walk to the finish line."

Amethyst felt she could do one final rope bridge, but fell, her ankle bending painfully. It took a while in the heat and as soon as they limped across the finish line, both girls collapsed to the dirt breathing heavily.

"If I ever…think about…joining up…please…slap some sense…into me," Peridot panted.

Amethyst put a hand over her pounding heart. "Yeah…I'm all military-d out…"

Matt walked over and offered his hand to Amethyst. "We were getting worried."

Jasper helped Peridot to her feet, giving a hearty laugh. "We got done like two hours ago."

"Your sister here finished third – in the whole race – with a time of forty-two minutes." Matt grinned. "What a woman, huh?"

"You finished in forty-two minutes?" Amethyst asked.

"And thirty-six seconds," Jasper told her. She already appeared clean and had changed her clothes. She handed a backpack to Amethyst. "They're getting ready to close the cleaning station, so get all wiped down and we'll go for ice cream."

The cleaning station was not that great. The water looked a little yellow and smelled bad, but it got enough of the mud off her face and she and Peridot used some baby wipes in the backpack to clean up. However, Amethyst knew she'd need some ample time in the shower to get all the mud off.

Once they'd met back up with Jasper and Matt, they collected their sodas to go. Amethyst and Peridot sat quietly in the backseat of Jasper's car on the way to the ice cream parlor.

Matt opened the envelope with Jasper's prize inside. "Hey, hundred dollar gift card to a steakhouse."

"Yum. I could use that after today."

"Tonight? We go back to base, get all cleaned up, you put on something sexy…"

Jasper laughed. "You assume I own something sexy."

"How about that red dress?" Amethyst asked.

"Red dress, huh?" Matt nodded. "Tell me more."

"It's a dress and it's red – nothing special." Jasper guided the car into the parking lot of the ice cream shop.

"Pearl used to work here when she was in high school," Peridot commented. "She'd bring us home ice cream all the time."

"Well, look," Jasper said as they headed in. "They're hiring if you want to follow in your sister's footsteps."

"I'd prefer a different job…like something scientific," Peridot explained.

Jasper laughed. "Okay, but just for the record, most sixteen-year-olds start out in a place like this. I once worked at McDonald's making fries and flipping burgers. Ames is washing sweat rags at the YMCA…"

"I do more than that," Amethyst protested. "I also wipe down machines and clean floors and stuff."

"Livin' the dream, huh?" Matt teased.

They ordered and sat down. Amethyst hardly tasted her ice cream as she watched Jasper and Matt at another table talking and laughing. She thought throughout the entire experience that her sister would be beside her, encouraging her. She'd expected them to run it together and finish together and all Jasper had cared about was being the fastest, the strongest…being the best and leaving Amethyst behind.

Jasper

Jasper wished she'd had the foresight to get her hair done. She frowned at some split ends as she brushed through it. She was thankful for the private bathroom attached to her room where she'd been able to spend an hour scrubbing all the mud off her body. There were certain places mud was never intended to go, but she'd done a pretty thorough job and now looked polished and put together. She studied her face in the mirror and for the first time in her life, wished she had some kind of makeup. Even lip gloss would look better than nothing.

She was going to be eating. Why did she care what her lips looked like? Besides, Matt had never seen her with makeup and thought she had natural beauty. She put the brush down and ran her fingers through her hair. Once he saw her in this dress, he wouldn't be focused on her face. She left her room and confidently strode down the hall.

"Hey, Palamo!"

She recognized Nancy Carter's voice and turned. "What's up?"

"You are not going out in that dress with that purse, are you?"

Jasper looked down at the denim bag she'd used for years. "Um…yeah."

"And are those seriously flip-flops on your feet?"

She wiggled her toes. "The only pumps I have are for my dress uniform, so…"

"When are you supposed to meet Matt?"

"In five minutes."

Carter took her hand and pulled her down the hall. "It's good to make them wait." She dragged Jasper into her room. "What size shoes do you wear?"

"Uh…eleven."

"I'm a ten, but…these might do." Her friend pulled out a pair of gold strappy sandals with a small heel and tossed them her way. Then she pulled a small red clutch purse from the closet.

"I'm always afraid I'm going to lose those things."

"That's what the wrist strap is for." She disappeared into the bathroom and returned with a few thin tubes. "Okay, I'm much darker than you, so I don't have foundation to match, but that's okay – you have beautiful skin. I'm just gonna touch up your eyes."

Jasper closed her eyes as she felt something wet being swiped along her lash line and out beyond where it ended. Something was smudged on her lid. She opened them when Carter told her to and mascara was quickly applied.

Carter finished with some red lipstick on her lips. "Take this with you. I'll fit in the clutch so you can reapply. There's no time to worry about your nails."

"What's wrong with my…"

"Nothing." She helped Jasper place her ID, debit card, gift card and some cash in the clutch. "I'm holding your bag and flip-flops hostage until I get my things back. You can bring them by tonight or tomorrow morning if you get in late." Carter laughed. "Never mind, with you dressed like that – you'll be getting in late."

Just in case, Jasper dug in her bag, grabbed two condoms and slid them into the small purse. Was Matt going to want that? Was she really ready? Was he going to be upset if she said no? She recalled last time when he stopped as soon as he'd realized something was wrong. Of course he wouldn't be upset. She trusted him.

"You look amazing," Carter told her with a smile. "Now go knock him dead."

Jasper took a quick look in the full length mirror and was surprised what the right accessories and a little makeup could accomplish. Now, there was even more confidence in her gait as her heels clicked against the floor until she reached the common area. "Sorry I'm late."

Matt turned and so did the seven other guys who were watching a football game on the TV. Her boyfriend's eyes widened as he looked her up and down. "Wow…you look…I mean…uh…I…"

"Damn, Palamo, you clean up nice," Cardwell said.

"Thanks. Ready, Matt?"

"Uh…yeah…um…" He raced to the exit and opened the door for her. He looked down at his jeans and polo shirt. "Man…I uh…I didn't realize you would be so…"

"You wanted something sexy." Jasper shrugged and headed for her car.

Dinner was every bit as amazing as she figured it would be. They ordered the most expensive steaks with all the sides and two pints of beer, toasting the completion of the mud run and their relationship. They ended by sharing a small flourless chocolate cake with fresh cream and raspberries.

"Last raspberry?" Matt asked then fed it to Jasper. "You're so beautiful."

"Thanks." Jasper took the last swig of her beer. "Man, I'm stuffed."

"How does your lipstick stay on?"

"Fuck if I know – some kind of scientific makeup technology." She slid the gift card inside the folder with the bill and told the waiter to keep the change, giving him a good tip.

Matt reached across the table and took her hand. "I don't want to go back to base just yet. I spend time with you and we part ways and I can't wait to see you again."

Jasper smiled. "I feel the same way. This is gonna sound corny, but I wish we could go to sleep together and wake up together, you know."

"I have been told I snore."

"That's okay – I drool."

He ran his thumb along the back of her hand. "We could. I have some money. We could go to a hotel and spend the night together."

She turned her hand over, squeezing his. She wanted this. She wanted to give this another chance…to completely trust him and let him make love to her. "I'd like that."

Once in the car, she drove off toward a few taller buildings. "Which hotel?"

"Someplace nice, but not too expensive."

"If your pay is anything like mine I get it." She yawned. "Want to get some coffee? I mean, we'll need the energy, right?" Jasper winked at him.

"I think I'm alright, but if you want some, go for it."

Jasper eased the car into a Starbucks parking lot and quickly walked in, ordering and waiting by the edge of the counter. The barista slid a cup onto the smooth surface. "Grande double shot caramel latte."

She hardly noticed as a hand grabbed the drink from the counter, but rolled her eyes when she heard a deep voice from beside her. "Va-va-voom. What's a girl like you doing in a place like this?"

"Pffft, that's the best you've got? I'm getting coffee."

"You like your coffee like you like your men?"

Jasper scoffed and faced him, leaning against the counter, one hand on her hip. He was maybe half an inch taller than her and bulkier. He wore a work out shirt with the sleeves cut off and she could see his muscles swelling below his dark skin. A tattoo of a triangle and star was inked on his left shoulder. "What? Are you going to say rich?"

He laughed deeply. "No, baby – black and hot."

"Tall drip coffee, cream, two sugars," the barista said.

Relieved, Jasper grabbed her drink. "Trust me, sir, you are only one of those things." She looked him up and down. "Word of advice, women don't want to be hit on when they're getting their coffee…bonehead." With that, she turned and walked out of the Starbucks. Settling back into the car, she plunked her drink in the cup holder, then had Matt hold it while she tightened the cup holder.

"Wait, your cup holder just screws onto your E-brake? What if you have to use that?"

"Then there's gonna be coffee all over the place." She turned the key and the engine roared to life. "This car is exactly like my dad used to have, but it's about fourteen years old, so cup holders I guess weren't a thing in 1992. Sometimes I think I should get a new car, but…I like this one okay. Dad and I have put a lot of work into it."

"Maybe when you make sergeant, you can buy yourself a little present."

Jasper laughed. "Yeah, a little present with monthly payments and I bet as soon as I get it I'll be deployed again and not see it for a year or longer."

"Amethyst is learning to drive. You could share."

"Over my dead body. She can have this piece of crap and she can learn how to repair it just like I did." Jasper eased into the hotel parking lot and found a spot near the entrance. "You sure this okay? Not too expensive?"

"It's what I want." Matt reached over and squeezed her hand. "To make love to you…to fall asleep with you and wake up next to you."

Jasper intertwined her fingers with his. "That sounds nice."

It didn't take long for them to check in and get to the fifth floor room. She went over to the window and looked out at the lights of downtown. "It's been a while since I've been in an actual hotel."

"Don't travel much?"

She shook her head. "Last time I was home, Lacy and I went to Rose City overnight, but we stayed with a friend of hers."

Matt slipped out of his shoes and took his shirt off. "I stayed in one the night before I had to report for boot camp. It was five stars compared to basic barracks."

Jasper unzipped her dress and let it fall to the floor. "Yeah, well, a fucking tent in the middle of nowhere would be a step up from that." She released a sigh of relief as she popped her bra open.

"Can I say something without you getting offended?"

She raised an eyebrow. "Go on."

"You have a great body – especially your boobs." He threw his hands up as she laughed. "There, I said it. I'm a boob man and yours are really nice."

"Most men who had the balls to say that to me would get punched in the face. You're lucky you're my boyfriend and I love you."

Matt crossed the room and put his hands on her shoulders. "What did you say?"

"That I wasn't going to punch you in the face."

"I heard you say you love me."

She smiled as his hand covered her cheek and he gazed into her eyes. "Yeah…I guess I did. I mean…I do…I love you."

Matt cradled her face in his hands. "I love you too, Jasper."

Jasper kissed him and fell back onto the bed, pulling him on top of her. Heat pooled in the area below her stomach as he kissed her neck. Her hands went to work unfastening his pants and he wasted no time moving his body against hers. Jasper exhaled deeply as he filled her and wrapped her arms around him, her fingers caressing the muscles of his back and working their way into his hair. She groaned. She needed to give him a condom before they went too far. Already, she didn't want him to stop…God, she wanted nothing more than for him to keep pounding into her and quench this fire threatening to consume her. From somewhere down the hall a baby cried loudly and she put her hands on his chest, making him pause to roll on a condom. "Okay, that's better, let's go."

Matt kissed her again, his tongue playing with hers and his hand teasing her breast. She broke the kiss and cried out as a wave rushed through her. Her arms went around him and she rolled him over, breathing heavily. "I like being on top."

She eased down onto him and moved slowly at first, picking up speed as Matt leaned his head back and exhaled: "Oh fuck…"

Jasper reveled in this – being in control. She decided to have sex. She alone decided who would touch her and how and right now, she wanted to use her body to give her man pleasure. Jasper rode him so he hit just the right spot in her to send electricity crackling through her body. Matt ran his hands along her arms, all the way to her hands and laced his fingers with hers. Jasper threw her head back and exhaled as the surges of delight ripped through her. Her eyes took in the tacky wallpaper and standard lamp. She had to be quiet – no doubt someone on the other side of the wall could be trying to sleep. Jasper gritted her teeth together, choking back a moan as her walls clamped down on him.

Matt squeezed her hands. "Oh…Jesus…hnnn…"

"Let's leave…Him…out of this…" she panted. Jasper bit her lip hard as her boyfriend grabbed her hips, guiding her while she rode him as fast as she could. His fingers dug into her and he panted, finally climaxing along with her, throwing his head back with a quiet "unh…"

Breathing heavily, she lay beside him and wiped the sweat from her forehead. He pulled her in, holding her close and kissed her forehead. Jasper smiled realizing she hadn't let the dark cloud of the past hang over this amazing experience. She rested her head against his shoulder, relaxing in the protection of his arms.

That Tuesday, the list of those in her unit eligible to be promoted was released and Jasper was a little surprised to see her name on it. "I figured it would at least be a couple of months, but I guess it has been five years this month."

"Plus you're one awesome soldier," Moritz told her. "I'll make the list one day. Have you met the new guy?"

"New guy?"

"Yeah, new sergeant. I think he's the first one you'll have to interview with."

"Great, someone I've never met…"

"Oh, you'll meet him before you have to interview, I'm sure."

"Someone who doesn't know what I can do or knows my accomplishments…"

"Which will be in your file and he'll look at that."

"It's not the same as having someone who has fought alongside me in battle."

As they reached their destination, Moritz opened the door and let her walk through first before speaking. "Yeah, except that dick put three bullets in you. You want him back?"

"You're right. I'll take my chances with the new guy." Jasper grabbed a clipboard and headed into the storage area.

"How many times are they gonna make us do inventory?"

"You wanna be on desk work, Private? Or cleaning floors? Come on, at least we're not out in the field, right?" She sighed and looked at the long list of supplies.

"Moritz, Palamo." Sergeant Major Jackson approached them with a man following behind him. "I wanted to introduce Sergeant Cordero. He's going to be leading your squadron from now on."

As they saluted, Jasper was almost positive the man looked familiar. Their eyes locked when she shook his hand and she noticed a sly smile on his lips.

"Well, if it isn't va-va-voom."

Jasper pulled her hand away as heat burned in her cheeks. This was her new sergeant. Oh God… "You're the bonehead?" Shit! She could definitely kiss that promotion goodbye now.

To her surprise, he laughed. "I suppose I did act like a bonehead, didn't I?"

"Care to explain?" Sergeant Major Jackson asked.

"I was getting coffee and saw her wearing this red dress and I may have hit on her." Sergeant Cordero looked back at her. "I should have treated you with more respect and I am sorry if I offended you, ma'am."

"Apology accepted." She watched them walk off then turned back to her clipboard.

"So…red dress, huh?"

"Yep."

"I can't picture you in a dress. Must've been a pretty nice one for him to say 'va-va-voom'."

"Shut up, Moritz."

Amethyst

Amethyst knew school wouldn't be different. She only had one class with Peridot and that was gym. She looked at her friend's schedule. "Your classes are all AP?"

"You're surprised?"

"I guess not." Amethyst chuckled. "You're smart enough for advanced placement work."

"I'm thinking of doing running start next year. You know, work a few college courses in…get ahead." Peridot pushed her glasses up on her face and squinted at the paper.

"You're getting a new pair of glasses, right?"

"Yeah, Mom took me shopping yesterday and they'll be in next week. You're still limping a bit."

Amethyst nodded. "Just a sprain, but it definitely still aches. I should totally get back at Jasper for making us do this. Like…a pie-eating contest…you know, something she'd never do."

"My hair didn't even come clean." Peridot's normally platinum blonde hair was still dingy even after multiple washes.

Amethyst found she had a few classes with Kiki and Jenny and all four of them had the same lunch period, so they sat together and talked about their morning. Shortly after sitting down, she saw Seth across the cafeteria. Amethyst looked down at her cheeseburger and the thought crossed her mind to toss it in a nearby trashcan before he said anything mean. However, he didn't seem as appealing as he had last year and she wanted to eat the cheeseburger, damn it. He could call her 'Pala-moo' or whatever he wanted. She took a bite of her food. She was going to eat it and keep it down and anyone who had anything to say about her eating habits or her body could fuck off for all she cared.

"Our gym teacher was shocked Amethyst and I were even friends," Peridot said. "She told us she remembers our sisters. I'm not exactly sure what happened between them. I vaguely remember Pearl having a broken nose."

"Yeah, that was the day Jasper decided she didn't care what people thought of her skin, so she went to school in a very revealing outfit that I'm sure my mom would have freaked out over if she'd seen. Apparently Pearl decided to try and be some kind of badass freshman and called Jasper a slut and a…" Amethyst dropped her voice. "…a C-word that I won't say and a D-word that's very offensive to lesbians that I also won't say. Anyway, Jasper wasn't too happy hearing that word and punched Pearl in the face and shoved her into a locker. They both got suspended and even now they still hate each other."

"Damn." Jenny gave a low whistle. "Your sister doesn't mess around."

"Not with things like that, especially since her best friend was bisexual. Still is, I think…though she did marry a guy." Amethyst shrugged. "Maybe it was a phase."

"I don't think being bi is a phase," Peridot said matter-of-factly. "When I did my report…well, I don't think it's a phase. Lacy is likely still bi and she happened to fall in love with a man."

Amethyst dipped a few of her fries in ketchup. "Makes sense."

The rest of the day went much as she'd expected and she complained about having homework on the first day as she walked home with Peridot. "I mean, I know that's how they do it, but can't they give us a couple of days?"

"I had a summer reading list for AP English. I had to turn in a paper on the first day."

They arrived at Amethyst's house and went upstairs after grabbing drinks from the fridge. Amethyst popped open her bottle of juice. "They're already advertising for the homecoming dance. You think you'll go?"

"I-I don't know. It's not like I'm great at dancing. During the spring fling I just stood by the wall mostly."

"Well, it would be a good break from studying and you may even meet someone. Other than that Halloween party and that night in the closet, I don't think I've ever seen you with a guy."

"He slobbered like a St. Bernard. It didn't exactly make me want to take things any further." Peridot sat on the bed, her fingers laced together. "There aren't any guys at school I like and I've been waiting for that to happen…to have a crush on someone and know that I'm normal."

"It'll happen. You're a late bloomer. Believe it or not, so was Jasper – she was our age before guys really saw interest in her. She got her curves during tenth grade and then decided to show them off I guess."

"That's not…that's not it." Peridot sighed. "I can't believe my own sister said that…she used that word…"

Amethyst shrugged. "It was years ago. You know how it is at school – people throw around the 'gay' insult like it's going out of style. Pearl just took it too far and maybe she feels bad about it and would never say it now."

"I hope so. I don't think I could stand for her to think that way…or my parents. You heard what Roselyn said about her dad – he doesn't even talk to his own sister hardly because she's a lesbian. I just don't think that's the right attitude to have, you know?" Her voice was practically tinged with panic.

"Okay, but to be fair, Roselyn's dad is an asshole, so…"

"But the thing is that I have had crushes…and I have one now and…I can't say or do anything about it!"

"Who? Please tell me it's not Seth, 'cause he's a jerk." Amethyst opened her history book and plopped it on the desk. "I can't believe I was crushing on him."

"No…it's someone in my science class."

"What's his name?"

Peridot didn't speak for a few moments, then finally answered in a quiet voice. "Tianna…her name is Tianna."

Amethyst's first thought was trying to figure out who this girl was. The realization that her best friend had a crush on a girl was second to that and hit her like a wave. Peridot? Peridot was gay?! That couldn't be. They'd been friends for so long, Amethyst surely would have known. But then…it made so much sense why this particular subject was important to Peridot and why it seemed to affect her so deeply when anything negative was said. "Is she the girl with the really long, brown hair?"

"Yeah…but I think she's got pretty eyes. That's what I noticed first…was her eyes."

Amethyst hadn't ever paid any attention to Tianna's eyes. In fact, she was pretty sure she'd never actually spoken to the girl. "You haven't told your parents? Or Pearl?"

"What would they think, Ames? I'm afraid to now after hearing that story! Maybe Pearl and I aren't really close, but she's my sister!"

"I would hope that what I've said is true – that she's grown up and changed and that she'd accept you just as you are."

"What about you?" Peridot took off her glasses and wiped her eyes. "I don't think I could stand it…if we couldn't be friends."

Amethyst had to speak carefully. It was a shock, for sure, but she knew at some point in the future, she'd have gay friends. And according to the report Peridot had given in class a year ago, she was not the only lesbian in their high school. "Well, I figure you've been gay as long as I've been straight, and it hasn't changed anything so far." She sat on the bed next to Peridot and nudged her. "Hey, at least we know we'll never have a falling out over some guy."

Peridot smiled slightly. "That's true. You won't tell anyone?"

"Of course not."

"Not even Roselyn? Or Jasper? Or the twins?"

"No – it'll stay between us until you're ready to come out to other people and I will be with you for that if you want. Just like you've been there for me." She hugged Peridot. No matter what life threw at them, they'd have each other and tackle everything in front of them whether it was a mud run or a life-changing confession.