A.N: Hey Guys!!

I don't have much to say except that I LOVE you all for reviewing!! It really motivates me to write faster and better. I really hope you are going to love this chapter. Check the poll (I want to know what you think =D) and play list on my profile.

And don't forget to review….please *pout* I'm begin shamelessly I know. =D And i did extra long too (longer chapter ever written so far =D)!!!

And of course a big thanks to Megan for taking the time to beta my work and for doing such an awesome job.

Disclaimer: I don`t own anything ( i wish i did own DImitri and Adrian but it`s life i guess *heavy sigh*)

Chapter 3:

I put the file on the night stand since it would probably be some pretty interesting bedtime reading, that I was sure of.

I put on my PJs and quickly sank into bed. I picked up the file chuckling as I saw the title. Why should you date me by Adrian 'Awesome' Ivashkov.

He was humoring me, he wanted to make me laugh and that was something I desperately needed these days, maybe now more than ever.

It was all very clearly typed on a computer which was good, I knew I would have more success deciphering hieroglyphs than his messy handwriting.

Part One was called 'Facts' and divided in small paragraphs:

- Not that you care but I'm a good catch, good name, and a terrible reputation just as you like. (Come on you know it's true.)

- You already know that even if you want to do something completely crazy, I will always follow you. I'll never judge you or let you down . I know you think it's borderline stalkerish but I just think I'm being super cute. =D

I sighed closing my eyes, it did strike a sensitive cord. It was so right, Adrian financed my crazy escape, he never gave up on me as much as I pushed him away, telling him to let go he kept coming back supporting me. I took a deep breath before continuing to read.

- You also know that I'm not the kind to take things seriously, it's true but you… I've always been serious about you Rose and I know that you can't deny that.

- All in all to, I care a lot about you, I already know a lot about you, and there is nothing you could do or say that would make me care or respect you any less.

Yeah right, I bet that my blood whore days would crush this respect if he ever found out.

- And you know me, I think way better than anyone else. I let my guard down around you and you've already gotten a very good look at the real me.

That was a true fact. When we were together, or in my dreams, I could see his seriousness, his longing, his fear of losing me, I could see through his pretenses. I had seen his goodness, his bravery and protectiveness. He was playing the dandy shallow rich royal most of the time but I knew better and he knew that I did.

- Plus when I'm near you I feel at peace, whole, like I find the place where I need to be and I long for it each time you're away. It has to mean something, right?

- Moreover I'm just asking for a chance, not a promise. He simply added.

Part two was 'Future & Conditional'

- If you decide to give me a chance I'll do my best to try to heal that part of you that I know you think is lost. I'll support you all the way whatever you decide to do or not do, as crazy as it sounds.

- I would never judge you or let you down and you know that I will never play with your emotions or your heart.

- I also truly believe that with only a little amount of work we could create something worthy.

That was the scariest part, it could be good, very good but I could hurt him so badly…he could hurt me so badly.

I laughed out loud when I saw the little charts he made just below that.

There was a pie chart on which part of me he liked the most, (the biggest part which was 37 % was my brave, fierce & protective attitude.) The second chart was on how compatible we were as far as sarcasm, sensitivity, humor etc…. The third chart was on how awesome we could be together. The fourth, and last, was on what we could offer to each other. (Love, support, family, strength, healing, comprehension, fun etc…)

The third part: Practice.

- Now I did expose you to the theory but I need to show you how perfect I would be for you Rose and the way is that you accept one date, just one date. It will be on campus and you'll be free to call it quits whenever you like, just one date no strings attached ok?

- I can make a better case in person Rose. Paper can't contain all the finer points of things.

Adrian was a good man and I owed him that much at least I had to try. I promised him. Apparently he knew what to expect, he knew that it was possible I would not go in to deep with him.

I sighed putting the file on the floor and turning off the light.

It's just a date, just a small little date, I said to myself deciding to agree with it.

As soon as I drifted into sleep I knew it was not my dream and based on the one I was having these days I was rather grateful.

"So... You couldn't wait for my answer?" I asked Adrian. We were in a breathtaking garden with a beautiful little pond where some swans were wandering.

Adrian chuckled and sat on the grass patting the spot beside him. "What do you want me to say little Dhampir, I can get a little impatient."

"So it seems," I said taking a good look at him. He was dressed so differently than his usual self. He was wearing a pair of faded blue jeans, a black tank top that was quite fitting, showing that he did have a washboard stomach and he was barefoot. He didn't need to be all dressed up to be gorgeous. I could even say that dressed as simply, with the sun playing in his dark brown hair, making his emerald eyes even greener in this magical surrounding, he was even more beautiful than I had ever seen him.

I took my shoes off and sat beside him in the deliciously warm grass.

"Where are we?" I asked curiously because this was no place I'd seen before.

"Do you like it?" He asked eagerly.

"I really do," I said looking around once more, seeing flowers of colors and shape I have never seen before. "It could honestly be heaven but I know it's not."

"Why is that?" He asked lying down.

"Because they would never accept me there," I said evasively.

He sat up and looked at me. "I couldn't disagree more." He said tenderly. He shook his head. "Anyways, I wanted to show you one of my favorite places on earth, one of my secret happy places," he added with a wink.

"And where are we?" I asked, this time I was the one laying down.

"My grandmothers' garden in the Bavarian Alps," he said laying beside me. So close that I could feel his body heat.

"That's beautiful.. You're very lucky." I said with eyes closed, letting the sun warm my face.

"I'll take you there one day," he said like it was a certitude. "You'll see there is no place like Bavaria, the St. Bartholomew church, the fortress Marienberg… you'll love it." He added with enthusiasm.

I didn't answer but it was painful because it reminded me so much of Dimitri's enthusiasm about Siberia.

"So little dhampir was the presentation good enough?" He asked in all seriousness. "Do you agree to the practice part?"

I stayed silent for a minute.

"You don't agree to anything by doing that you know," he said but I could hear the underlying hurt in his voice. "You can call it quits at any moment during the evening and go back to your dorm, no hard feelings." He added and I knew he was sincere.

"Ok Ivashkov, one date." I said not really knowing if I was making a mistake or not.

"Yeah?" He asked and he seemed incredibly surprised that I was giving in.

"Uh huh…" I said opening one eye, seeing him propped on one elbow looking down at me with what seemed pure joy on his face. "No strings attached right?" I added in order to stop him from hoping too much.

"Yep, not tomorrow but the evening after that. I'll come pick you up an hour after the end of your classes so be ready." He leaned down to kiss my forehead. "See you tomorrow Rose." He added before getting out of my head.

The day went by rather quick and went pretty well. The training with Alberta was quite interesting with the experience she collected during the years she was able to show me some effective moves.

Breakfast was a bit more awkward, but Christian did his best to talk even with Lissa. By the end of it things were still weird but I could see that with time they could probably get cordial… maybe even become friends.

I went sullenly to get my 7 molnija marks. I bet that Lionel, the tattooist guardian, never saw someone being so depressed to receive those badges of honor. I guess it was because he didn't know how unworthy I felt each time his needle touched my skin.

When he was done and applied the gauze on it I saw my mom waiting for me at the end of the room. She was propped against the door frame and she seemed completely lost in her thoughts once more.

I felt guilty to have brought her these souvenirs and hurting her in the process. My quest created so much unnecessary worry.

"Mom?" I said stopping in front of her.

"Hey! Sorry I just spaced for a minute," she said with an embarrassed laugh. "I was thinking, maybe if you don't have anything planned tonight, we can have some mother and daughter time."

"That would be good," I replied knowing I wouldn't be training with her before the week end. "I guess it's time to answer your questions." I added already surprised that she waited 5 days before starting to interrogate me. "Do you want to go back to my room?" I asked while we started to walk.

"Why don't you come to mine." She asked nicely probably not wanting to be disturbed by one of my fellow students and, or, friends.

I nodded.

"You know… I usually never go back on my word," I said to her just before reaching the guardian living quarters. "My word is all I have."

"I know that Rose." She said sincerely. She seemed pretty confused by what I assumed she considered as a random comment.

"Don't get me wrong it's nice to have you here but you didn't need to abandon your charge to keep an eye on me. I promised you I would graduate and that's exactly what I am going to do." I said stopping to face her.

"You…" she shook her head sadly. "You think that's why I stayed?"

"Well…" I shrugged slightly.

She sighed and opened her bedroom door." I was such a terrible parent," she said mainly to herself. "I decided to stay because... Because I never was so scared in my whole life." She confessed. "Running away, leaving Lissa behind was so not like you. I got scared, so scared, and I decided, I swore to myself if I could have you back safely I would try to spend as much time as possible with you."

I looked at her with shock, I had never seen her that defenseless, that 'human'.

I did the only thing I wanted, that I needed, to do. I hugged her.

"I love you mom!" I said and I heard her sharp intake of air, she was probably surprised. I probably hadn't told her that since I was about 6 or 7.

"Oh Rose…I love you too." She said hugging me tighter.

We stayed silent for a little while and I said the first thing that crossed my mind to break the silence, which of course was utterly idiotic.

"I have a date with Adrian tomorrow." I blurted out wanting to slap myself. Then I realized it was better for her to know about it before hand so she wouldn't go full overprotective mom on me, it was not like it would be a first.

"Ivashkov?" She asked truly surprised but not mad…that was odd.

I nodded expecting her to explode any second.

She twisted her mouth slightly. "Yeah why not he isn't a bad guy," she said dismissively.

I narrowed my eyes slightly with suspicion that was just too weird I knew my mothers' opinion on Adrian and it was certainly not the 'not a bad guy' type. "Since when he is not a bad guy?" I couldn't help but ask.

"I've seen how truly worried he was about you when you were away Rose, how he tried to support and help Lissa." she simply said, but there was something in her eyes, something I couldn't place. "I think that a date is not that bad, it can help you to move on." And that's when I understood everything and she realized she shouldn't have said 'move on'

"You talked to Abe!" I said sitting on her bed. "He told you!" I added wanting to shoot him in the kneecaps as the mobster kid I was. He shouldn't have mentioned my feelings for Dimitri, that was private!!

"I did but not to spy on you or anything," she said quickly to reassure me. "I know you are honest enough to answer my questions, it's not like you care what people think of you," she added with a small smile playing on her lips. "I phoned him to thank him because…" She sighed and sat beside me on the bed. "You know when you went missing I called him for help but I thought he would just send messages to his many contacts, that people were looking for you I never imagined, not even in a million years, that he would be the one coming after you!! It was pretty dangerous for someone…someone like him to do that and I needed to tell him I appreciated it that's it." She patted my knee, "that's when he asked me how you were doing, if you started to deal with Dimitri's loss. That's when I finally understood everything."

We stayed quiet for a little while.

"You are not too disappointed?" I asked giving her a sidelong glance.

"Disappointed? No," she said shaking her head. "Well I was mainly surprised but I could see why you fell for each other." She gave me a small smile. "Sometimes you don't fall for the most suitable person," she said in such a tone that I knew she was not talking about me only. "I'm just sad for you really, I never wanted you to suffer and certainly not that young." She sighed unexpectedly kissing my forehead, "you already lived through so much, lost so much… I wanted you to keep that innocence just a bit longer."

I bit my bottom lip trying to contain my tears. "I guess you have questions about my trip." I said, because clearly I wouldn't tell her more than necessary, I didn't need to cause her more worry and pain.

"You know what? We'll do that some other time." She said wanting to spare me and it was the most considerate I've ever seen her. The fear to lose me really changed her and I realized how much I missed her all these years, how much I was yearning for my mother. "And considering Ivashkov I was wrong about him he really does care about you, he is one of the good Moroi." She shrugged." A date is just a date."

I smiled remembering her saying that Abe was a good man. "Can I ask you a question?" I asked uncomfortably.

"It's about Abe and I isn't it?" She asked simply and I couldn't see if it was a good idea to continue or not.

I nodded.

"What do you want to know?" She asked, taking my hand in hers.

"How did you meet?" I asked curiously.

"Ah…That's some story." She chuckled. "Well I graduated and got assigned to Clarissa Voda." She said staring at the wall and I knew she was now lost in her thoughts. "She had been accepted to Kings college in London but she was pretty intrigued by Muslim architecture so her parents decided she should spend the summer as a student at the University of Istanbul. That's when I crossed Aşkım's path for the first time." She said with nostalgia.

"Aşkım?" I asked confused.

"Abe," she specified still completely lost in her memories.

"He was a student there?" I inquired in order for her to continue.

She chuckled. "Right! Aşkım and authority never really worked well together!" She said with so much fondness that it actually made my chest tighten. I could see that a part of her still loved him…After all these years I just didn't know how important that part might be. "I was at the library keeping an eye on Clarissa when that big Moroi walked in like he owned the place! He was followed by two guardians looking all big staring at people with disdain behind dark sunglasses. I despised the man right on the spot."

We both chuckled at that. It was Abe alright! He was like that walking in the streets of Baia. "Was he already that…exuberant?" I asked curiously.

"If by exuberant you mean flashy scarves, golden jewelry, and earring so yeah he was." She shook her head but smiled brightly… brighter than I ever saw her smile before. "He even had long hair at the time you know, long, wicked, wavy, hair going down to his shoulders…just like yours," she added putting a string of my hair behind my ear.

"Oh wow…'' I said imagining my mother going after a man like him, it was almost unrealistic. "How old was he back then?"

"He was 23 and I was 18." She replied. "But I was intrigued you know, I was only a guardian for 3 weeks, I'd never been out of the Academy much. He was just so intriguing moreover when Clarissa saw him she hissed that trouble was on the way. I sat beside her, eager to hear it all and she told me all about the rich and powerful Mazur family that owned half of the businesses in Turkey." My moms' voice dropped slowly like she was revealing something in confidence. "And she started to talk about their son Ibrahim who was even more powerful than his parents as he was not reluctant to bend the line between what was legal and what was not."

"Total badass!!" I blurted out before cursing myself hoping she would continue.

She gave me an amused look before she continued. "When he noticed me, he just grinned and started to act all Mr. 'Bigshot-I-own-the-place' with us. At the time I didn't have the control I have now." She stopped and squeezed my hand. "I was a lot like you Rose. Anyways, I put him back in his place showing him I was not impressed that I was as 'badass' as he was. Later on he told me that's exactly when he fell for me." She added and I could hear some longing in her voice even if she was doing one hell of a job to hide it.

"That's funny," I said, while looking at her. It was hard to acknowledge her as an actual person with feelings and weaknesses. I saw her as a guardian robot for so long, a machine without emotion.

My mom nodded. "We became friends. Like I said to you before, his business is irrelevant and none of your concern. He was a good man and I know he still his. He has a very big heart." She added and again it was possible to see that a part of her still loved him. "He didn't want me to leave at the end of the summer but I was not the kind to abandon my charge, it was not who I was." She said, the face closed off from emotion, maybe she regretted her choice now. "So I left and it broke my heart, I never thought I would see him ever again. Half-way through the first year of college Clarissa got a once in a lifetime offer to study at the University of Istanbul where she could even assist a very renowned professor. It was an offer she just couldn't refuse and as soon as we arrived at the airport there he was waiting for me," she added, seeming farther away now.

I opened my mouth to say something but she shushed me by continuing.

"Don't ask me how he pulled that one off because I honestly don't know and I never asked," she said with a playful smile. "I guess you noticed that the man was pretty impressive and could get anything he wants." She laughed when I nodded. "We dated for the next two years and then… then I got pregnant with you and things changed," she sighed and kissed the top of my head.

I looked at her and my eyes filled up with tears. "I'm so sorry!" I said crashing on her chest.

"What?! Why??" My mother asked sounding completely confused and wrapping her arms around me.

"Because of me you've lost each other." I said sobbing on her chest, I felt guilty for all the hard times I gave her over the years.

"No no Rose don't even think that," she said pushing me back to look into my eyes. "I swear my pregnancy didn't break us up. He wanted to assume you know. I told you he is a good man Rose, he never let me down."

"Really?" I asked blowing my nose in a very unlady like way.

"Really!" She said looking deep into my eyes to show me that she was sincere. "But that's when we started to talk about the future you see. I was 20 and he was 25 then, I was not ready to let go of my guardian duties it was who I felt I was. It was my identity and well, as much as I loved the person he was, his activities were…'' She seemed to think for a minute. "Anyways, his activities were his own business and he didn't want to let go. We thought that it was better to call it quit. That life was no place for a child Rose."

I remember what my mother had told me when I found out that Abe was my father. She said, 'We both thought it'd be best if he wasn't in your life.' Abe also said something quite similar back in Baia. When I told him that he wasn't a role model he told me, 'it's exactly because of the life I lead that you should listen to me when I say abandon this path and go back home.'

They wanted me to be raised well, far from his shabby business but as my mother said before, you couldn't help it when you're in love, you're in love.

"Do you think I'll see him again?" I asked my mother, since now part of me really wanted to know him. He had to have loved my mother deeply for taking those inconsiderate risks 18 years later for a daughter he didn't even know. He sacrificed his time with her to assure me a good future, freed from his somehow harmful influence and he was a benefactor of this school. I would bet that he was since I entered it as a student. As I said before, I could have had a worse father.

I laughed to myself he was such a hypocrite. Some first loves lasted! His actions and my mothers' face were proof of it and I intended to let him know that.

"I honestly don't know Rose. Abe is the kind of man to do exactly what he wants to, but I wouldn't rule it out." She said with a playful smile.

"I kinda like him you know," I said standing up.

"I see a lot of him in you and before you go all offended it's a compliment," she replied and stood as well. "Well let's go to the kitchen and grab something to eat."

We were the only one in the kitchen and that was good.

"So a date with Adrian tomorrow night?" Said my mother with a fork in her hand and I appreciate how she used his first name.

"Yeah…I owe him one." I rolled my eyes, "long story. But he is a good man it's just…" I shook my head, "never mind." I said concentrating on my pasta.

"No tell me," she said with concern. "I want to help."

"Do you think I will get better?" I asked as she was really the only one here that I trusted who could actually have the beginnings of an answer. "This aching in my chest…Do you think I'll get over it? Over him?"

"You will get better Rose," she said her eyes and voice full of sorrow and pain "You have to let time do its job and open the door to the people who are trying to help you, any kind of healing is good to take. As for getting over it…'' She grimaced slightly. "You'll never get over it, not completely anyways but one day in a year, five years, or maybe even ten years. The memories won't hurt so much anymore and you'll even smile, it won't be a burden to remember."

"Thank you Ma," I said as it was exactly the kind of honesty I needed.

"Anytime Rose." She said reaching for my hand from across the table.

My mom walked me back to the dorms since it was after curfew. Not like it mattered. Apparently I was a bit above the rules here…I was Badass Hathaway after all.

"Will you tell me why you left to go to Baia?" My mother finally asked. "Maybe not today but one day," she added probably not wanting to add to my distress.

I smiled at her, "I will tell you very soon. I just need to tell that to someone else first but then I'll tell you everything I promise."

She nodded and kissed my forehead. "Have a good night Rose."

"You too Mum." I said before running to my room.

I reached for my brand new cell phone I bought the day before and looked for Sydney's letter. It was 6 am here so it meant that it was 4 pm in St Petersburg.

"Hello?" She said warily.

"Sydney? It's your favorite evil creature," I said chuckling.

"Rose!! How are you doing?!" She asked sounding genuinely pleased.

"I'm alright I wanted to give you my number you know for when you come back home. If you want we can go hunt strigoi together."

"Right!" She snorted taking my number. "Anyways I know you need something come on tell me." She asked laughing.

"Nice you know me that well already." I said teasing.

"Unfortunately," she said teasing back. It was silly to even think that she was scared of me at first.

"I wanted Zmey's number but I know you don't have it," I said decided to play it honestly. "I need you to get him a message. Give him my phone number and tell him that Rose Hathaway has the answer to his question." ( He kept asking me over and over again, 'why are you here?' he'll finally get his answer.)

"Oooo that's tough Rose," Sydney responded, apparently uncomfortable. "The guy hates to be bothered."

"Believe me Sydney he would get mad if he didn't get my message." I said hoping I was right.

She sighed. "All right I'll tell that to my superiors but I can't promise anything."

"Thank you!" I said sincerely. "So…..Do you miss me??" I asked teasing her again.

"Actually I do…a little. See I'm so alone that I'm missing an evil creature of the night."

"Love you too Sydney." I said laughing. "Talk to you soon."

Well now I needed to figure out a plan for Victor and wait for Zmey senior to phone me but before I had to be ready for my date for Adrian.