The fall term raced by with a pace that Hermione couldn't remember since starting at Hogwarts. It seemed that she was barely able to blink before another week was out, and there were more essays to finish, assignments to turn in, and exams to study for. The overwhelming amount of work that she had to do almost made it easier for her to shake off the hurt of Ron not speaking to her.
She knew that Harry was exhausted, having to play peacekeeper between his two friends, but Hermione wasn't going to budge when it came to Ron. She had done absolutely nothing wrong by speaking to Theo. And, she was not mandated to react in a certain way to Ron's disgusting relationship with Lavender. The redhead was quick to tell anyone who would listen about how jealous Hermione was of their relationship, but he couldn't be further from the truth. She just found their public acts of affection repulsive.
And, she had her eye on another student, one who was probably blissfully unaware of how much she fancied him because he was too busy being a werewolf.
Ron made it clear that he was unhappy with the way that Harry was handling himself, too. He was very put out when he learned that Hermione and Harry had gone to Professor Slughorn's Christmas party together. That had been an embarrassing situation to begin with, seeing as Slughorn seemed to think that she and Harry were a couple now, even though they were both firm about saying they were just friends. It hadn't stopped the rumor mill from working overtime to couple the two of them together.
Giving Harry an ultimatum, Ron had tried to get the boy-who-lived to take sides. But, after Hermione helped Harry figure out Malfoy's disappearing trick, he hadn't been able to cut contact with her like Ron wanted. "You know I wouldn't do that anyway," Harry had said one afternoon when the were combing through the disorderly room that was produced when they entered the Room of Requirement, fingers trying to tame his perpetually unruly hair. "I mean, even if you weren't helping me. You're my friend, too, Hermione."
As much as she wanted to believe him, she had several fights worth of evidence telling her that Harry and Ron were just closer than she could ever hope to be with either of them. "Of course Harry," Hermione said, biting at her lower lip while she stepped over a pile of broken lampshades. "But, I think that you should go to the Burrow with Ron and Ginny over the break. Don't give him more fuel for the fire."
Harry gave her a sad look. "You know that he's going to regret this massively when he and Lav-Lav break up, right?" he asked. "He's just...not sure how to express himself."
Hermione rolled her eyes. "I know he will, and I will forgive him just like I always do," she responded, wondering how best to say what she needed to. "But Harry, Ron is not entitled to having me fancy him. He and I...we just wouldn't ever work out."
He seemed dumbfounded by her statement, trying to find the words to say. Hermione was disappointed to see that he seemed to believe all of the lies that Ron had been telling the rest of their house about her being jealous. "It just always seemed like...like you might fancy him," he said eventually.
She gave him a sad smile and shook her head. "Maybe in the past, but the way he's behaved this year...has fully extinguished any feelings that might have grown," she explained as honestly as she could. "And, I might fancy someone else."
"Does this have something to do with Nott?" he asked, his green eyes boring into hers.
Hermione turned away, unable to tell him the truth. "Harry, leave it with Nott, okay?" she begged, unable to put her very real feelings into words.
Harry dropped the subject, returning to his perusal of the Room of Requirement in silence. They didn't speak anymore about Nott, and before Hermione knew it, Harry and Ron were taking the Hogwarts Express back to enjoy their winter holidays together. She just hoped that Harry wouldn't bring up Nott to Ron.
She hadn't spent many holidays at Hogwarts, typically returning home to her own parents for the two weeks, but this year her parents had a dental conference to attend. The castle was unusually still, with only a handful of students remaining behind, perhaps due to the growing tensions in the wizarding world. Still, she didn't mind the solitude, enjoying spending blustery days in the library or staying up all night in front of the big fireplace in the Common Room.
One day early into the break, Hermione decided to take a quick walk around the grounds, eager to enjoy the fresh blanket of white snow that had fallen overnight. Bundling up, she braved the cold temperatures, knowing that she'd be able to warm up with a hot chocolate when she went back inside. Hagrid's hut was empty when she got there, so Hermione walked around aimlessly, until she finally decided that it was time to go inside, the tip of her nose having grown really quite cold.
When she got back on the path back up to the castle, she was surprised to see none other than Theo Nott walking a few paces ahead of him. Jogging to catch up to him, she greeted him warmly. "Hey Theo," she said, an open grin on her face. "I didn't know that you were staying here over the holidays."
He nodded, his jaw set tightly. "Yes, well, it's the first time that I've stayed behind," he answered tersely.
"What made you decide to stay?" she asked. "My parents are at a conference, and I did not receive an invitation to spend Christmas with the Weasleys these year. Things with me and Ronald are still a little frosty."
He snorted at her apt statement. It was no secret to anyone in the castle that the two Gryffindors were not speaking to one another. "Well, I didn't exactly decide not to go home," he said with a hint of a growl in his voice. "My father is in Azkaban as I am sure you know. The Ministry has decided that, even though I became of age in November, I cannot be left to my own devices, not even for a week."
Hermione's smile fell from her face at how bitter he sounded. Of course she'd known that his father had been sent to Azkaban, seeing as he'd been one of the Death Eaters caught in the Department of Mysteries...where she had been fighting. She wondered if he resented her in any way for what happened to his father. It would explain how he sometimes seemed keen to have nothing to do with it. "I'm sorry," she apologized, the words jumping out of her mouth before she could second guess them.
Theo must have known what it was that she was thinking, because he sighed, turning his head to look at her. "Don't be," he said firmly. "It wasn't your fault...just his own stupid decisions."
She was surprised to hear that he actually blamed his father for the outcome. Even if that was truly how he felt, she never would have expected him to voice it out loud, considering the current climate. "But don't you have any other family you could have gone to see over the holidays?" she asked.
"No, it's just my father and I at home usually," he answered, his frown deepening. "I'm sure you've heard the rumors about my mother's death."
Hermione bit her lower lip, but nodded. Who hadn't heard the whispers about how Theo Nott's father had killed his mother in front of him when he was just a little boy, strangling the life right out of her? The rumors had spread like wildfire once it became clear that he was one of the people who could see thestrals during Care of Magical Creatures.
"They aren't true," he said firmly. "She got dragon pox when I was little and died."
She wasn't entirely sure how to respond to that. It seemed awful that people should make up rumors about your father and mother, even if his father was a terrible person. She doubted that anyone really thought how Theo would feel about being put in that kind of situation.
"It's alright, though," Theo said, after a few beats of silence had passed. "It would have been lonely at home, anyway. I just wish the Ministry would stay the fuck out of my life."
Hermione had to stop herself from asking him if they knew about his...furry little problem. He was supposed to register as a werewolf if he was one, but she knew that many people avoided the registry like the plague because of the effect that it could have on their lives. But, he might not have been able to avoid it if the Ministry was involved after his father was taken to Azkaban.
She shivered, feeling the cold's icy fingers sneaking inside of her jacket. "I'm freezing," she announced, pressing mitten covered hands against her rosy pink cheeks. "I was just going to head inside for some hot chocolate. Want to join me?"
Theo looked like he was going to agree, his eyes widening in surprise at her invitation. Then, some kind of...realization came over his face and she was shaking his head no. "I don't think so, Granger," he said, his words punctuated by puffs of hot breath in the icy air. "I think we should put some distance between us now that our project is over."
They had concluded their arithmancy project earlier in the week. While they hadn't received a mark for it yet, Professor Vector seemed impressed. "I didn't expect you two to get through this volume of data," she said, sounding surprised. "I'm glad that the two of you worked so well together."
"But, I thought that we were friends," Hermione countered, trying not to let him know just how upset she really felt about it. "Just because we aren't being forced to work on a project together anymore doesn't mean that we have to stop spending time together. I like having a...a study buddy in the library."
He shook his head back and forth. "I don't think that you should be spending time with someone like me," he said firmly, as though his mind couldn't be changed. "It will just cause unnecessary trouble for you. You've seen how much damage I've already done to your friendship with Weasley."
Hermione wanted to argue with him that Ron's friendship didn't mean anymore to her than his did, but she couldn't find the words to say it. She couldn't focus over the crushed feeling in her heart that he obviously cared so little about what she wanted. Had his friendliness solely been due to wanting to get a good mark in arithmancy? Was it little more than an act the whole time? "Oh, okay," she said, feeling the telltale prickles in the back of her eyes as she tried not to cry.
Theo didn't say anything else, too cowardly to do so. He turned and fled the conversation as quickly as possible, the snow crunching under his feet. By the time that she looked up, his long legs had carried him nearly all the way to the castle. She wasn't sure how long she had stood there, feeling sorry for herself, but her toes were beginning to go a bit numb in her boots by the time she got the mental strength to return to the castle, intent on heading to the kitchens to get some hot chocolate to cheer her up.
Maybe if she was lucky, the house elves would bring her dinner to Gryffindor Tower, too, because she didn't know if she could face Theo again in the Great Hall after the callous way he'd treated her.