A.N: Hey guys!

I don't have much to say today except that I posted a new poll on my page ( Am I really only 1 of 2 people which consider frostbite as her favorite of the series? I mean it's the only book that end up with a quite Ok Rose/Dimitri lol)

Also I posted a new story called 'Second Chances' but don't worry it won't affect this story as the other one will only be updated every so often ( it will be a series of One-shots.).

Anyways Thanks to my fantastic faithful reviewers this story is going on because of you.

You guys rock!!

Steffy =D

Chapter 9:

It has been 5 days now that both Adrian and Abe left me and I couldn't help to see that had become a pattern in my life. Every man I cared about always left me in a way or another. Mason, Dimitri, Adrian and now Abe….

I sighed and sat on my bed. Well to be fair the two last ones told me they would be back eventually but, except a quick call from Abe three days ago to check on me, it has been complete silence and even if it angered me to recognize it Adrian silence was hurting far more than expected. It was probably because everything was changing so much around me that I wanted so much to have some constancy in my life or maybe it was because I loved the way I could see myself through his eyes. I was hurt because he didn't even visit my dreams…not even once!! So much for loving me.

I had a chat about Abe being my father with Lissa but honestly there were not much to be said about it. I didn't know much myself and the details I gathered during my spying and close studying of my mother and him while they were talking was not something that needed to be shared with Lissa, it was much more relevant to my mom and father youth than anything else.

I was still waiting on Christian to comment on it, but he didn't yet, maybe because he realized that it hurt me to see both Abe and Adrian leave me. Christian seemed to be so receptive to me, a lot more than he used to…actually a lot more than anybody else. Maybe all the terrible memories and experiences we shared finally connected us on such a deep level that we could recognize the pain and anguish hidden in each other more than anyone else's could.

Moreover Lissa was very excited over the last two days because Oksana, very much to my surprise, accepted Lissa's invitation to come to help her…us with the Spirit. She arrived in the morning and, even if I was happy to see her and Mark, I couldn't help but feel a little stabbing pain in my chest as they recalled me, not that I forgot anyways, of my time in Russia.

In addition to that unwanted trip down memory lane, Oksana had a little package for me, a package from the Belikovs' and, as she handed it to me, I had felt Lissa's pain for me, it really didn't help to deal with my own pain. We decided to meet again tomorrow since, as charming as they were, we could see that they were both dead tired…Well, I knew that dealing with a 13 hours time difference was giving you one bitch of a jet lag.

I instinctively looked at my desk now where the package was resting unopened and kept my eyes on it like I had a super X ray vision.

You're not superman….You can't save anyone, you can't even save yourself I said to myself now looking at the alarm clock. It was only 40 minutes from curfew… Too late to go and run laps.

I could see it would be one of those nights, the one were I stayed awake thinking about things I shouldn't think about, reliving moments that was making my heart break every time. I needed to get tired, so tired I would fall to sleep and the best way I knew how was to run…run till my muscles hurt, run till I was too tired that I felt my brain was in a haze, Run… Run like my life was depending on it, and in some ways it was true...well at least as far as my sanity was concerned.

"Fuck curfew!" I said jumped out of my jeans putting my sweats and tightening my trainers.

I quickly looked at the package again and shook my head. I was not ready to open it and I knew it.

I turned to leave when I heard a quick knock at my door. I frowned and quickly glanced at the alarm clock again. So close to curfew it had to be a guardian.

I opened the door to someone I didn't expect.

"I'm in." Said Christian with a sure voice walking into my room before I even invited him in.

"Please come in" I said sarcastically closing the door.

Christian was standing by my desk looking down to the package thoughtful.

"So…"

"I'm in" he said turning around looking at me with a determined expression.

"I see!" I said not really knowing where he was going. "I told you the pony club would accept you after all… you just needed to believe" I added with a grin.

Christian rolled his eyes but couldn't help to smile too. "No I mean whatever crazy plan you are putting together, I'm in. Even…even if it's helping the crazy psycho to escape" he added sitting on my bed.

"I…what?!" I asked completely dumbfounded sitting beside him. "Do you know how insane this sounds?" I asked looking deep into his eyes trying to figure out if he was drugged or drunk or even possessed…Yeah I watched Supernatural the night before.

"I've got a pretty good idea yeah," He said a smile playing on his lips "but I know that, whatever the plan might be, you will not be able to do it on your own and well…" he pointed to his chest.

I shook my head and stood up.

"I… I'm not working on any plans really" I said sincerely as I was so lost at the time being and I knew that whatever the decision I would take it would have its consequences. Everything came with a price right? "And even if I did…which I'm not" I specified again, "it would be insane to mix you up in that I mean…Come on it would be dangerous and it could ruin your future."

"Yeah!! I mean my reputation in the Moroi world is so stellar already…oh no wait…" He said pretending to think, "that's not me! I'm the Strigoi wannabe remember? The doggy poop stuck under Lissa golden shoe." He added not bitter, it was just like he was stating a fact. He knew perfectly that he was the black sheep of the Moroi world and he couldn't care less.

"I…" I bit my bottom lip.

"And what a great addition to my 'crazy black sheep' resume: Accomplice of baby mobster!!" He said with his goofy grin.

I looked at him rolling my eyes but I couldn't laugh as I didn't want him to get hurt, not because of me.

"Listen" he walked to me, resting his hands on my shoulders. "I'm not saying that you already have it all figured out but I know you will soon enough and you can't do it alone… whatever it is."

I wanted to say something but he cover my mouth wit his hand.

"Don't be so proud Rose, pride only bring disgrace, humility can sometime be life saving. Nobody ever chocked swallowing their pride. You'll need help and I'm offering it so please consider it." He added urgently.

I nodded as he was right. The time would come when I'd need someone and lets face it Christian was the only one that was more an asset than a weight.

"K I need to get out before the matron annoys me because I'll have the obligation to set her ass on fire well… it's probably the only way she has to get hot anyways." He added with a grin.

I threw him a reprobating glance but smiled, Christian was really becoming my best friend and that's something I would have never EVER imagined.

Once he opened the door he turned around and pointed to my desk. "No matter how long you are going to wait to open the box it will hurt just the same."

I turned round and looked at the box too, he was right…of course he was right.

I sighed and opened the box with shaky hands.

As soon as I opened it, I saw a grey knitted piece of fabric. I took it out and unfolded it carefully it was a nice cardigan. A piece of paper was folded in it. It was a letter written by Olena.

Dear Rose,

I hope things are getting better for you back home, back to your friends…the people you always knew. You need the constancy in your life now more than ever.

I hope you'll liked the cardigan I knitted for you. It's the exact same than the one Viktoria had and that you liked so much. I also sent you the black knitted scarf that was Dimka's favorite, I know that nobody could appreciate it or take care of it the way that you will.

Yeva and Abe explained us that you had to leave and we understand believe me.

Just know that we love you and that you'll always have a home here in Baia. You are welcome home whenever you want to.

Oh by the way Sonya had the baby it's a little girl She was named after you and Dimitri, her name is Dimka Roza Belikova. (A.N: Before you can say anything i know a Russian girl whose first name is Dimka, it's not that uncommon =D)

Take care of you

Love,

Olena.

My eyes filled up with tears as I took the very soft warm scarf out of the package. On the bottom left, there were little initials embroidered 'D.B.' . I wrapped the scarf around my neck and breathed hard.

"Dimitri" I whispered in it, eyes closed.

I folded the scarf and cardigan very carefully and looked what was left in the box. There was an envelope with my name and I could easily recognize Viktoria writing.

I hesitated for a little while, I was already pretty emotional after reading Olena's letter and I didn't know if I really wanted to know what Viktoria had to say since we didn't really ended things as BFFs.

I sighed. Well I had to do it eventually.

"Wow…" I whispered looking at the letter. Olena had such a neat, clear writing but it was clear that Viktoria didn't inherit it. It was not as bad as Adrian's hieroglyphic writing but it was pretty close.

I squinted my eyes trying to read it.

Rose,

I was not sure you ever wanted to hear from me again not after…not after the horrible things I said to you. I'm mortified just rethinking about it. How could I ever say those things to you? I'm so sorry Rose! Please forgive me. 'Sorry' actually doesn't even beginning to express how bad I feel.

You were right, you were right all along! Rolland was just a filthy little … But I refused to see it and all you did was looking out for me, trying to protect me just like Dimka would have, and I said all these mean things I didn't even mean because of course I see you as a sister!! And how could I even say you were jealous?! After you told me what you and Dimka shared it's just…unforgivable I know that. I would not blame you if you didn't want to have anything to do with me again but Yeva…Yeva told me I should write to you since you have a big heart and if anyone could understand words said out of anger it was you.

I looked up, the old witch thought I had a big heart? Well I didn't see that one coming I really thought she was about to join the 'I-hate-rose' club, apparently I was wrong.

Anyways life at school is going fine, I can't wait to start junior year to really get into bodyguard training I wish I could fight like you. Dennis told everything to Nikolai, apparently you really are one of a kind (not that I ever doubted that).

Yeva asked me to give you a message and I quote ( I don't get it myself but I wouldn't hear the end of it if I didn't do it) Here it goes: "Every tale has a part of truth in it, don't let go of a path because the others think it won't lead you anywhere. Sometime bravery is to take the road to nowhere. Follow your intuition for the ultimate gift…his Soul" Whatever that means.

I hope you forgive me Rose because despite what I could have said you truly are a sister to me, maybe we didn't spend that much time together but you took a place in our hearts and in our lives.

Well I look forward to hear from you but as I said before I would totally understand If you didn't want to have anything to do with me anymore.

Xoxo

Vik,

She gave me her email address. It was too late for me to write back, I was tired but I would do it first thing in the morning. I couldn't stay mad at her, I knew only too well what having a temper made you do or say sometime.

As I laid on top of the cover, Yeva words replayed in my head over and over again 'Every tale has a part of truth in it, don't let go of a path because the others think it won't lead you anywhere. Sometime bravery is to take the road to nowhere. Follow your intuition for the ultimate gift…his Soul"

What did she mean? This message and my Dimitri dreams made things pretty clear, there was a way to save his soul and I needed to find it. Rhonda did tell me that I was going to destroy what was undead, not 'killed' but 'destroy'. If I did made the reversion of the Strigoi state real and widely known we could get back the people we love…make Strigoi number drop and increasing ours in the same time.

What did Victor say…His brother was in the land of kielland or something like that whatever that meant.

I yawned loudly. It would have to wait till tomorrow to do the research. Tomorrow was going to be a long emotional day and I needed all the rest I could get.

I was still a bit confused in the morning but thank god Lissa did almost all the talking as she was overly excited with Oksana being around, and to be honest, I was rather pleased too. Maybe Mark could tell me a bit more about the abilities that us, shadow kissed, had. Maybe there was something I could use in my attempt to save Dimitri's soul maybe… maybe Mark did try to get in the black hole i saw in the plane.

We planned to meet in one of the guest lounge after class to discuss the whole bound issue just the four of us so Lissa left before the end of breakfast to make sure we could have a lounge in the afternoon.

As we left the commons I caught Christian's hand.

"I accept your offer." I said to him in a hush tone.

"I'm glad you did" he said grinning. "We're going to have so much fun together."

"It's serious Chris...It can destroy us. It's…it's non sense!" I added shaking my head regretting to have said I wanted him in.

"Hey hey… chill Rose" he said tightening his grip on my hand causing some curious looks from the other students, Eddie included.

I got out of his grip and crossed my arms on my chest.

"You told me you got some hints on where that Robert dude might be well…" he shrugged. "Maybe we can try to research first, try to come up with a viable plan then maybe... And only maybe we would act."

I wanted to hug him, to thank him to be such a good friend but people would get the wrong idea and I really didn't need more things said about me.

I pulled Christian aside against the wall. "Victor told me that that his brother was in the land of kielland or kiellan or something like that."

"Kielland…kiellan…" whispered Christian thoughtful.

I quickly looked at the clock on the wall, we still had 10 minutes before classes started.

"Kielland like in Alexander Kielland the author?" Asked Christian

I gave him my best 'dude-what-the-fuck' face. "You are honestly asking me? I mean really?"

Christian chuckled and shook his head. "He was a very famous Norwegian author" he specified.

"Good for him! but if that's true Robert would be in Norway and that sucks ass because it's a big country I mean like what …100,000 square miles or something." I said loosing hope. It would be impossible to find a man in such a big country.

"Well…148,746 to be exact" said Christian dismissively.

"You really are a brainiac aren't you?" I asked somehow impressed "or only an encyclopedia of random useless facts?"

"A bit of both I think" he said sticking his tongue out. "I have a free period before lunch, I'll check if there is something else that come out with your Kielland or Kiellan that can be known of psycho Dashkov of course."

"Thank you Chris." I said sincerely as we resumed to walk.

"That's what fighting partners are here for" he said elbowing me playfully. "See you later Hathaway" he added taking the corridor on the left.

"You can count on it Ozera" I said back, walking into my own personal hell…Calculus.

The day went fast and I actually was happy to meet with Oksana and Mark tonight even if it would stir that part of me I wanted to forget.

Christian did find out that the only Kielland that made sense was the author he thought of earlier and it made me slightly sullen as now I was sure, only Victor could help me out. He perfectly knew that even with his clue I would not go anywhere…Evil son of a bitch!

I wrote a quick email to Viktoria during my free period telling her that I wasn't mad anymore and I asked her to thank her mother for the sweet presents and Yeva for...for being well....for being Yeva i guess.

At the end of the day, I was rushing to the guest pavilion, when I literally ran into someone.

"I'm sorry" I said quickly looking up my smile fading away.

"That's alright my little dhampir, I like when you and I collide." He said with a wide grin.

I looked at him lips pursed. I had no right to be angry at him for not giving me any news in his 6 days away. I couldn't say anything...I was not entitled to.

"Why did you come back?" I asked and realized the answer while I was asking the question. "Lissa told you for Oksana?"

He nodded and my heart sank. I was so selfish, I wanted him to want me, to love me even if I couldn't give him as much love.

"Well see you around" I said trying to dodge him.

He caught my arm. "What's up with you Rose?" He asked moving quickly to stand in front of me again.

"Nothing's wrong Adrian" I said wearily. "Nothing at all…"

"I know you better than that" he said proudly. "You can maybe fool the others but you can't fool me."

I snorted "yea right! Well if you knew me that well you…" I sighed and shook my head.

"Rose?" a deep manly voice called.

"Mark!!" I said with clear pleasure to get away from Adrian scrutinizing eyes.

"I was wondering…" Mark quickly look at Adrian. "Maybe we could have a little talk just the two of us."

"Of course!" I said jumping on the occasion. "Lets go." I said standing beside him. "See you" I added to Adrian's attention.

He narrowed his eyes slightly. "You bet."

"I was not interrupting anything right?" Asked Mark giving me a sidelong glance.

"Not something I wasn't grateful for you to interrupt" I said sincerely.

He chuckled. "Moroi/dhampir relationships can be hard… I know" he said with a smile.

"Yeah…" I trailed off.

"I was thinking we could give the Spirit users some alone time and spend some time together, two shadow-kissed."

"That's a great idea" I said actually rather pleased as there was so many things I needed to know. "I needed to talk to you actually."

It would be a corner stone of my plan, one of the building stone.