New chapter! Deep talks with Tom and mutual sharing...Hope you're still enjoying this story so far, and if you didn't like this whole beginning, it's going to get better soon.
"Hey Ginny, that's for you! I found it in my things, but I am sure it was mum who bought it for you. A diary is only for girls after all."
And just like that, he threw a black journal on her bed and left, not bothering to close her door. Ginevra did not know yet, but it was this object that was going to change her life forever.
As her brother had so lovely thrown the object at her, telling it was hers now, she obliged him by examining the diary closely.
It was a black diary, and a bit worn as Ginny could see it had lost some of its colours at the edges. Tom Marvolo Riddle was written in gold letters on the cover.
Amused, Ginny opened the journal on a random page and started to write as she saw it was blank: "This is actual proof my brother is stupid. He said a diary is for girl but clearly its former owner was a boy. Thanks, Ronald, for your logic."
As she finished writing, she saw her letters had disappeared, leaving the page entirely blank. She was only surprised for a moment, as soon enough, new words appeared, written in an elegant script that wasn't hers.
"Hello, new owner. Actually, I'm the former owner, Tom. Who are you and who is Ronald?
The first thing that came to Ginny's mind was to close that diary and throw it as far away from her she could. Talking diaries were unusual so she was instantly wary of it, especially as she really didn't need another trouble in her life.
But then, this was also an opportunity to throw her feelings on paper, talk to someone about it. She was going crazy keeping everything to herself, hiding so much from her family. It wasn't normal for a girl her age. She could ask more questions to this Tom, have more information about him, and check if he was real or not.
If the diary was indeed Tom, this could mean everything to her. She would then have a secret confident and she would be the only one to have access to the diary. Yes, maybe there was risks talking to a talking something when she couldn't see its brains, as her father would have said, but it would certainly be worth it. And it had been in her brother's things, so it couldn't be too dangerous anyway.
"My name is Ginny. Ronald is my brother. What do you mean, you are the former owner? Are you part of the diary?
Yes, you could say that. I was human at the time I wrote in this diary, but then part of my memory stayed behind in it. I have been alone for so long! It is great to be talking to someone again. How old are you Ginny?
What do you mean a part of you stayed in the diary? Will it happen to me too? And I'm 10! What about you? How old were you when you wrote in the diary?
Don't worry, it won't happen to you, I was the one to decide to leave something of me in this diary because it had become something very important for me. So, you are ten, aren't you? That means you're going to Hogwarts next year, right?
Yes, I'll be part of the 1992 first year at Hogwarts. I'll be the last of my family. My brother Ronald is starting this year, and my other brothers are already at Hogwarts or finished their education. But Tom, you haven't answered my question!
1992? Ginny, I was a 16-year-old student at Hogwarts when I was using this diary, but in 1943. It's been almost fifty years!
Fifty years? Fifty years stuck in this diary without talking to anybody? How horrible Tom!
I know. But now you're here Ginny, and I'm so thankful you're writing me. Now, tell me, you were speaking about your brothers, how many siblings do you have exactly?"
Ginny and Tom continued to talk long after dark, and Ginny couldn't have been happier. It was so easy to talk to Tom about anything, he just listened and found an answer to everything. It was a surprise he was a simple memory, as he seemed so clever and assured. She felt as if she had found her best friend; she knew he would never judge her.
Summer ended. Her brothers went to Hogwarts, and Ginny had now lots of time by herself, with only her mother being at home with her. Her mother trusted her, she was letting her be by herself during the day, and from time to time she was also absent, leaving to have tea with her friends. Yet, from the moment Ginny started talking to Tom, she spent even less time with her family, preferring instead to stay in her room writing to him.
As the time passed, she started confiding more and more in him, telling him about her daily life. It was such a relief to have someone there, listening to you. Of course, she hadn't told him about her nightly sneak out, but when she was with Tom, she didn't think about it. He was her safe heaven, where she felt safe and happy. He made her laugh every day, something that had become rare. It was thanks to Tom she stayed sane. She was scared to destroy this new relationship with this.
But he started to share a lot of things with her too, from Hogwarts stories to stories from his own childhood. She cried when he told her about his mother, and his life as an orphan. She sympathized when he told her about the mockeries, the bullying he had gone through at the orphanage and Hogwarts. She understood him when he talked about the need to avenge himself and what he had had to do at the orphanage to protect himself. Dumbledore, her parents' greatest friend, had misunderstood Tom when he had come visit him. Tom had told her everything about it. How could you set fire on an orphan's prized possessions? No, she was the only one who could understand him the best. Even Tom had said so.
That is why it was not long before she trusted him back with her darkest secrets. If she could trust someone, it would be the memory hidden in her diary who had supported her, listened to her, laughed with her, reassured her. He was slowly becoming her whole world, and it was time she trusted him in return. Gone were her first suspicions about him, and Ginny could feel her attachment to him deepening over time.
The day she decided to tell him all about it, she made sure she was prepared for the whole event. She was alone in the house, and she was currently seating on her chair by the window, taking deep breathes, in and out. Then, she took her favourite pen, and taking one last deep breath, started writing. Everything came out, pouring out of her heart: how it had all started, why, when it had fallen apart, her current situation with Crow and the others, her fears, her abuse, her shame. Tom received it all. He stayed silent for a long time, and Ginny started to fear he wouldn't speak to her anymore. Finally, words started to appear, but not those she had been hoping for.
"Ginny, do you realize what you have done to yourself? I don't know if you realize how twisted this idea was from the beginning. What did you think, sneaking out to town to meet MUGGLE FILTH? Lowering yourself to their standard! For MONEY!
Please Tom, stop being upset with me. I'm starting to regret telling you this."
Ginny was scared, she hadn't thought Tom would lash out at her like that. He was ordinarily so sweet to her! She could feel small drops of water trailing down her face, and she dried them before they fell on the journal. She didn't want Tom to know she was crying.
"I'm sorry Ginny, I shouldn't have lashed out at you like that. You know how much I hate muggles because of the orphanage. I felt betrayed by your confidences, but at the same time, it wasn't your fault. But see how wizards are superior? Muggles are animals, look how they treat you! They belong beneath our feet! But I'm also furious with your parents. It's because of them everything started. If they had paid attention to you that day in that town, you wouldn't have been lost, never meet that muggle trash and would never have this idea leading you in this situation today.
Don't say that Tom! I'm the one responsible. You must understand. I decided to do it for my parents! For my family! We had to have money! I'm sure we are the poorest of wizard society. Everyone looks down on us because we're poor. We couldn't survive without this money! And I know you know the feeling of being mocked because you don't have any money.
Ginny, you were eight at that time. When you are underage, you are under your parents' responsibility. They are responsible to look after you, they should have known you were sneaking out, that you weren't well, that you were abused and raped. Those are not small words Ginny! And moreover, you have been doing that for two years. This is sick. No magical children should do that.
Tom don't be like that! I love my parents, and I know they are very busy trying to keep the family on the line and making ends meet. You've never met them, you shouldn't judge them. Maybe I suffered, and I still do, but this is because of the people in town.
We'll talk more about this Ginny. Speaking of those people, I shall think of a way for you to dispose of them. You should never live in fear of muggle, especially of muggle filth like that. They have to suffer for what they did to you.
Tom, what are you talking about? Killing them? This is not right! I just want them to leave me alone because I can't take it anymore. And for them to be judged and put back in prison, definitively. But I don't want to kill them! It's wrong!
Ginny, you saw how well it turned out when they went in prison that one time. The only justice you can give them is death. That is all.
I disagree with you."
On that words, Ginny closed the diary, crashed in her bed and sobbed in her pillow. It couldn't have been worse. Tom was going to hate her now, but she couldn't listen to him. It was her fault, not her parents'. She had lost control. She knew it was time to stop everything, but how could she with Crow? She refused to kill him, if she did, what was left of her soul would die. She wanted to keep that limit in her mind about what was right and what was wrong. She had seen enough horrors in a lifetime that this limit was close to collapsing. But if she snapped, she won't be the strong girl saving everyone, but the broken thing on the floor nobody will want. There was no way she would end like this.
However, Tom had the ability to be very persuasive. Even if he hadn't won the argument this time, he made sure to resume this conversation often enough that in the end she'll agree with him. And by December, on a night that had been particularly challenging for Ginny, he succeeded. He made Ginny write over and over: "it wasn't my fault, but my parents'". "Muggle like Crow are filth, they should be killed for their crimes." And so Ginny did, writing slowly with a trembling hand. But he was certain she now believed those words. Oh, how young child could be easily manipulated. A wonder, really. Well, and Ginny's mind was not exactly stable, so that also helped matters.
Tom then proceeded to lead Ginny to the next step, controlling her magic. It was running wild more than ever, and that was a hinder in his plans to make her kill those muggles. Ginny was hesitant at first, as she was only familiar with the magic that reacted depending on what she was living through. But she trusted Tom. He made her find her balance, find the magic inside her to better understand it. Then, the wandless lessons began. Tom started to teach her magic which main intent was to maim or kill.
Soon, it was the winter holidays, and her parents surprised her by announcing her they were going to Romania to see Charlie. They said it was okay because they had kept the money someone had gifted them last Christmas. It had been just enough to pay the portkey for them and Ginny, but her brothers would stay at Hogwarts like they have been doing those last winters.
On the inside, Ginny was boiling. The money she had been giving her heart and soul for was going to be wasted on a single trip to visit the brother her parents cared more about than her. Jealousy was a foreign feeling, but she revelled in it, especially as Tom supported and encouraged it.
How far had she gotten from that girl ready to do everything to make her parents happy.
I am sorry maybe I'm laying it a bit thick on the end ? Let me know ! I also wrote the next chapter so I'll post it probably next week.