Well, we all made it through 2015. Anyone else glad it's over? Anyway. Here's a long overdue chapter. Enjoy.
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Lydia is dead.
That's the only explanation she can come up with, because what she's seeing doesn't make sense. She remembers the fight with Kate; she remembers Scott and the rest of the pack showing up, and she remembers Stiles pulling her out of the way. She even remembers Scott tackling Kate to the floor, and then there was a scream inside her head and a rushing in her ears, and now she's opening her eyes and she's not at the house anymore. She's not sure where she is, actually, and there's a bright light shimmering around her that makes it hard to make any features.
She stands up slowly – she doesn't remember sitting down – and looks around. All she can see is the light; it's a pale silver, like a coin caught in the sun, and if she's not much mistaken, it's cold. Lydia wraps her arms around herself, suppressing a shiver. Although she can't see anything, she has a vague sense of objects towering around her, like trees or buildings. And she has the strange feeling that they're going to collapse at any moment.
Letting instinct take over, she starts moving. She's not sure where she's going, but standing still doesn't feel right. There's still a faint rushing in her ears, like she's stuck in a tunnel, but at least the voices in her head had grown quiet. She doesn't know how, but it seems like Kate had been able to control (or maybe even create) them. When they'd been back at Kira's house, Kate had somehow managed to get into Lydia's head, filling it with voices that gave her actual pain. She'd hardly been aware of Stiles until he'd interfered, and she really wishes she hadn't.
It's strange, but Lydia had always assumed that if there was some kind of afterlife she would be able to at least remember dying. As she walks on through the silver light she casts her mind back, trying to remember the exact moment she died. Maybe it's a defense mechanism – if her death was painful, it's possible that her mind blocked out the memory. Of course, this would make a lot more sense if she was still alive, because it doesn't seem logical for her body to still have defense mechanisms after it's ceased functioning.
The silver light seems endless, but it is starting to fade slightly. After a while she can make out shapes on all sides of her, and they slowly become clear enough for her to figure out what they are. Towering, ghostly trees, all shimmering with the silver light. It feels like she's in a forest, but not any of the ones in town. The longer she walks, the colder she feels, until she'd give anything to be back home in bed. But something tells her to keep going – and for once it's not the voices in her head.
Time seems to lose all meaning here, so she just keeps walking. The coldness seems to seep into her blood, slowing it down so that she can hardly even think or move, but she still keeps going. As she keeps walking the forest around her comes into sharper relief, but it still feels unfamiliar – and dangerous. Still working on the theory that she's dead, she tries to tell herself that it doesn't matter how dangerous the forest is – what's the worst that could happen to her now?
It feels like she's been walking forever by the time she can see the forest clearly. Every branch, rock, and leaf is in sharp contrast, although it's all still glimmering, still illuminated by that unearthly silver light. There's no way this is real. Above the sound of the rushing in her ears she can hear something else, but it's not clear enough for her to make it out.
The forest is endless and time is meaningless, and as Lydia walks she finds herself thinking about her friends, the pack she left behind. It didn't seem like anyone had been injured, so they might have all made it out this time. Unless, of course, she actually is dead, but (with a twinge of bitter guilt) she thinks that her death won't make much of a difference. She's not a warrior, not a werewolf; she's hardly even part of the pack.
Just when she thinks the monotony of the forest might cause her to lose her mind, she catches sight of something up ahead. It's a clearing, impossibly bright with the silver light, and there's someone sitting on a boulder in the centre of it. She slows down, trying to see who it is, but she can't make out their face. A few feet away her foot catches on something, and she looks down to see an arrow caught between the roots of a tree. She picks it up, and that's when she realizes who's in front of her.
"Allison?" The word is barely a whisper, and she expects it to be carried away by the wind that's picking up with every second.
But the light shifts and suddenly Lydia can see the girl in front of her, every painfully familiar detail, right down to that soft smile. "Hi," Allison says, and Lydia feels tears spring to her eyes because, god, she thought she'd never hear that voice again.
And for a split second, Lydia doesn't even care that this might mean she's dead too. Allison shifts over so there's room on the boulder beside her, and Lydia sits down slowly, terrified that any sudden movement will make her friend disappear in a flash of silver light. But Allison is still there, looking real and healthy and… well, not quite happy, but she looks calm. Peaceful. Lydia's eyes slide down to the place where Allison had been struck by the Oni's blade, but there's no sign of the injury.
"One of the perks of the afterlife," Allison says, amused, as she follows Lydia's gaze.
Lydia just nods, because she's not sure what she's meant to say. She'd imagined this moment a thousand times – finally being able to talk to her friend again – but it had never gone down like this. There are so many things she wants to ask her, so many things she wants to tell her, but she also just wants to sit in silence, content with her company. But something tells her that despite the seemingly endless forest and the cold silver light, they don't have all the time in the world.
"What am I doing here?" she asks after a while, but it sounds like an afterthought, like it doesn't really matter; although if she's dead too, she figures nothing really matters anymore anyway.
"I know what you're thinking." Allison scuffs her shoe along the ground, digging into the dirt, and then she traces a pattern – the same one as Scott's tattoo. Her smile fades, but then she hitches it back up and looks at her friend. "You're not dead."
Logically, Lydia knows this is good news, but for just a second she's disappointed. Being the only banshee in Beacon Hills, being a part of Scott's pack, just being, it's all so tiring. They never get a rest, never get a day off, and just once she would like to be able to have time to herself without worrying it'll be interrupted by the next supernatural disaster. And if she's dead, maybe she can stay here with Allison. Maybe – no. She can't think like that. She may have been distant from the pack lately, but they're still her friends. She can't abandon them, not like this, and she shouldn't want to.
"Have you been watching?" Lydia asks, using the tip of her shoe to trace around the double-circle pattern Allison had dug into the dirt. "What's been going on down there, I mean."
"Sometimes," Allison says quietly. "I'm still getting the hang of… all this." She gestures vaguely at the forest. "I watch when I can, but sometimes I'm… somewhere else."
There are so many things Lydia wants to know – like how she ended up in the afterlife if she's not dead and if this is what it will be like when she does die – but she knows that's not why she's here. She starts to respond to Allison but she breaks off when a sound cuts through the faint rushing in her ears; this time she hears it – a growl.
"We've got time," Allison says calmly, and Lydia believes her.
They sit in silence for a couple minutes; the growling gets louder, but Lydia's not scared. She can't be scared, not here, not with the most fearless warrior she's ever known.
"I miss you," Lydia says, still looking at the double-circle in the dirt.
Out of the corner of her eye, Lydia can see Allison smiling a sad smile, the kind that breaks Lydia's heart. "I miss you too."
"It's been hard without you," Lydia confides, and Allison's smile grows even more sad. "Sometimes I… I feel like you were the only reason I was in the pack. And now you're gone, and I…"
"You don't feel like you belong," Allison finishes, and somehow it doesn't seem as selfish when she says it. She sighs. "Lyds, look at me."
Reluctantly, Lydia does; she's half-expecting something to be wrong – for Allison's eyes to have lost their light or for her gentle smile to turn into Kate's animal-like grin – but it's still her, down to every last detail
"You belong with them," Allison says softly, "and my death doesn't change that. I know it's been hard, but it's only going to get harder if you don't let people in."
"What?" Lydia says, jerking her gaze up to meet Allison's eyes. "I do let people in -"
"No," Allison says gently, "you don't. When was the last time you had a real conversation with anyone? Or the last time you told someone how you really felt?"
The fact that Lydia has to think about it is answer enough. She's fallen out of the habit of opening up to people; she doesn't really even talk to Kira, although she's probably her closest friend now.
"My point exactly," Allison says. "Look, I know you want to be all strong and independent – and you are, I swear – but you don't have to be alone to do it."
"But how can I not be alone?" Lydia bursts out, surprised that she's giving voice to something that's been haunting her for months. "I'm a banshee. I see, hear, and feel things that I shouldn't be able to see, her, and feel – and that nobody else can. I can't share that with anyone – I can't even explain it to them – so how am I supposed to not be alone?"
Allison doesn't answer right away. She seems lost in thought, and Lydia finds herself staring at her, wondering if this is the last time she'll ever see her. They never got to say goodbye, so maybe this will be her chance. "Maybe your friends don't always need to understand," she says slowly. "Maybe they just need you to talk to them."
"How can I talk to them?" Lydia protests. This is exactly what she's been wanting – a conversation with her best friend – but she hadn't imagined it would be so hard. Or so painful. "We're just… we're not close anymore."
Allison smiles, a real smile, something Lydia thought she'd never see again. "Closer than you think," she says, and before Lydia can say anything, she becomes aware of a noise.
Like someone calling a name. Someone calling her name. And above that is a growling, getting louder. The silver light begins to fade.
"I should go," Lydia says, although she'd give anything to be able to stay.
"Do me a favor?" Allison says as they both get to their feet.
"Anything," Lydia says, her voice breaking on the word.
"Don't give up."
The silver light keeps fading, the world closing in until there's nothing but Lydia and Allison, and the trees fading out around them. The words are twisted by the wind, wrapping around Lydia until she can actually feel them. She can't give up; she owes Allison that much at least.
"I won't," she says softly, knowing it's a promise she'll never break. Allison's smile comes back, brighter than ever, and Lydia can't help but smile back.
"I love you," Allison says, her words laced with sadness.
"I love you too." Lydia wraps her arms around herself again, feeling coldness nipping at her skin, and she knows it's almost time to go.
"Everything's going to be okay," Allison says, with such gentle confidence that Lydia can't help but believe her. "You know that, right?"
Lydia nods, meeting her friend's eyes for what she knows will be the last time. But somehow, she's not scared, she's not sad; she's content. "I know," she says, and she does. Everything's going to be okay.
They share a moment, one that Lydia will never forget; no words are said, but the look they share says it all. This is the closure Lydia never got when Allison died; this is the peace she needed to find.
"Hey Lyds?" Allison says, as the wind picks up and almost carries her words away. She's fading, the silver light swirling around and catching her up in it.
"Yeah?"
Allison's eyes are wide, her smile slipping slightly. She's staring at something beyond Lydia's shoulders, but she shifts her gaze back to her friend's face to give her final piece of advice.
"Run."
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Next chapter will be a resolution and a reunion, and I think you guys are gonna like it. See you there... ;)
(Bonus points if anyone catches a throwback to season one... and extra bonus points to anyone who notices the way I slid a Buffy parallel in there too.)