Torn

by Bluebird0032

Mark finds himself torn between his badge, his Pa, and the woman he loves. This is a three-part story that could come after the events of, "The Principle," but is not necessarily connected to any other stories. Updated 11-13-2020 to fix typos.

3. Chapter 3

17MC17

"Thank you for the evening, Mark. I haven't enjoyed myself that much for a long time."

"It was my pleasure. Will I see you around town tomorrow night?"

Joanna nodded and faintly smiled before turning and walking inside the Mallory House.

As the door closed, a wide grin continued to spread across Mark's face. Slowly, Mark wandered off the porch, nothing and no one but Joanna on his mind. Mark returned to the livery and, in a dazed state, began to saddle BlueBoy.

"Mark!" The urgency of Micah's voice as he ran inside the livery pulled Mark back to the present.

"Micah, what's wrong? You look like you've seen a ghost."

"Mark, you need to come to Doc's; it's your Pa."

"Pa?!" Mark barely grabbed his rifle before he started running to the clinic, Micah trying to keep up.

"Mark, wait!" Micah called as Mark reached the clinic door, but Mark didn't hear him.

Running towards the door to the back room of the office, Mark hadn't realized someone else was in the waiting room until he felt strong hands keeping him from opening the door.

"Let me go!" Mark yelled, not bothering to see who was retraining him.

"Mark, let the doctor finish."

Mark stopped fighting and looked up in confusion to see Tom Benton standing there. Part of Mark did wonder what Benton was doing there, but he didn't care enough at the moment to ask questions about that.

"What's wrong with Pa? He… he was fine when he left town this afternoon…"

"Mark, I was coming by to visit your Pa. I got to the ranch and he invited me for supper and we talked, but it wasn't long before he started acting strange and grabbing at his shoulder. I started seeing perspiration and his breathing got a little strange. By the time I realized I needed to get him to town, he passed out."

"But what's wrong with him?" The worry Mark felt was evident in his voice.

"I'm not sure, we'll have to wait and see."

Mark looked into the man's eyes and could tell Benton had his suspicions.

"You have an idea of what's wrong."

"Let's just wait for the real doctor to finish."

Mark nervously paced back and forth across the office floor, the constant ticking of the clock on the desk agitating him. Mark played with his hat as he anxiously waited for Doc Burrage to come out while Benton and Micah tried to keep Mark's mind on something else.

"Your Pa told me you were out with a young lady this evening," Benton began with a teasing voice.

"How did that go, Mark?" Micah inquired.

"It went fine."

"Just fine?" Benton pressed.

"I don't want to talk about it," Mark quietly replied.

"He also tells me you're Micah's deputy now?"

Mark nodded, his thoughts still on his Pa.

"Micah, if he's grown up to be anything like his father, I'm sure you're lucky to have him around."

"I certainly am. Mark, why don't you tell Tom about that bar room brawl you broke up a few nights ago?"

"I don't want to talk about it," Mark quietly answered again.

Micah stood and slowly walked towards Mark before putting a hand on his shoulder.

"He'll be alright, Mark. Doc's doing everything he can."

"...And sometimes "everything" isn't good enough." Mark looked up and met Micah's eyes. "Micah, he can't do this to me... he can't die. What am I going to do if..."

"He wasn't shot, Mark. Sounds to me like something just went a little haywire in his system. Give Doc some time."

"Time..." Mark mumbled. His Pa was by no means old, but Mark wondered, 'just how much time DO I have left with Pa?'

Micah watched as his young deputy paced the doctor's office. His face held concern for both Lucas and Mark.

A half hour had passed before Mark finally gave in and started to take a seat. He had hardly sat down when the door to the back room opened and Doc walked into the waiting room.

"Doc?" Mark asked as he anxiously approached the man.

"He'll be alright, Mark. Please, sit."

"If he's going to be alright, why were you back there so long?" Mark asked, his eyes falling on the door his father was behind.

"Sit," Doc ordered again, this time his tone was firmer.

Mark took a seat across from Doc Burrage. Benton watched as Mark's right knee rapidly bounced up and down as he waited for the doctor's news.

"Like I said, he's going to be alright. We are lucky your friend was at the ranch or this could have been a lot worse. Mark, your Pa had a mild heart attack."

"... A heart attack?" Mark echoed as his brow furrowed. "But how? Why? He... he was fine this afternoon..." Mark turned to look again at the closed door.

"I don't know why, Mark. It could be stress, it could've just happened, it could run in the family..."

Mark's head whipped around as concern shadowed his face.

"...My Grandmother died of a heart attack..."

"Your Pa is fine," Doc reassured, knowing the path Mark's mind was starting to take him down. "It was very mild and he got help in plenty of time. I'll have a more certain prognosis once your Pa wakes, but right now I'd say give him four or five weeks and he'll be back to normal. Your Pa's always been healthy, Mark."

"...Can I see him?"

"He's asleep right now."

"Please, Doc..."

"For a few minutes, but your Pa needs quiet and rest. I want you to spend the night at the hotel."

"I can't stay here?"

"Mark, it's for the best. I'll let you know if anything changes."

Mark slowly nodded, still remembering the story his Pa had told him about finding his own mother after she suffered from a heart attack.

"Come on, I'll take you to see him."

After the door closed behind Mark and Doc, Benton turned to Micah.

"You alright, Marshal?"

"I'll be fine," Micah replied with a nod, turning his attention to the man in the room. "Mark and Lucas are practically family to me. I know Lucas will be alright, but it'll be a while before Mark believes it. There have been a few times Mark thought Lucas was dead, and if anything ever did happen to Lucas... it'd destroy the boy, that's for sure."

"Boy?" Benton chuckled as he raised an eyebrow at Micah. "The Mark I met when I came to town a few years ago was a boy; Lucas's son has grown into a man."

"Guess it's hard letting go of someone you watched grow up. But what I said still stands. Lucas means a great deal to Mark; there's no one else in this world Mark loves and respects more."

"I could see it in his eyes." Benton nodded in agreement and glanced towards the closed door before returning his attention to the marshal. "I never introduced myself properly. I'm Tom Benton, a friend of Lucas's."

Micah shook the man's hand as he spoke, "You're the one that locked me in my own cell with Lucas," Micah chuckled as he remembered. "Lucas sure had a lot of explaining about that whole incident."

"I hope you weren't angry with him too long."

"Just long enough to weasel a steak dinner out of him. You still working for the government?"

"Got nothing better to do," Benton answered with a half smile. "If I hadn't seen it with my own eyes, I wouldn't believe Lucas's son was old enough to be wearing a badge. How old is he now?"

"Lucas or Mark?" Micah teased. "Mark is coming up on twenty. He finished all his schoolin' a few years ago and took up the badge about a year and half ago."

"He make a good deputy?"

"Good?" Micah laughed. "The rate at which that boy learns, I'm surprised he hated school so much. He's read through all the books I've got and went up to Denver a few times for training classes. But he's so much more than a deputy to me and to this town. He's following in his father's footsteps and becoming a prominent figure in this community; wouldn't surprise me if one day he becomes the youngest member on the town council."

"When I came to visit last time, I know Lucas talked about how worried he was he wasn't doing a good enough job raising the boy. Looks and sounds like Mark turned out just fine."

"That he did."

"Marshal-"

"Please, Micah is fine."

Before Benton could respond, the door to the back room opened and Mark stepped into the waiting room with Doc close behind.

"Micah, would you make sure your deputy obeys my orders and stays at the hotel tonight?"

"I'll stand shift," Mark began to protest.

"Not tonight," Micah answered as he walked towards Mark and put a hand on his shoulder. "Don't you remember you were saddling up to go home when I got you? It's Sunday night."

"But I-"

"Mark, I locked your father in a cell, I'm not afraid to do the same to you," Benton warned from across the room.

"Mark, you need to take it easy. As minor as it was, your father did have a heart attack and I can see the strain it's put on you already." Doc turned towards his desk as he went on, "I don't want to see you back here until tomorrow morning AFTER you've had breakfast."

Mark looked helplessly between the three men before looking back at the closed door once again. He then looked at Tom and offered his hand as he spoke, "Thank you for bringing Pa out here, Mr. Benton."

"I'm glad I was there." Benton shook Mark's hand. "Why don't I walk with you to the hotel? I'm headed that way myself."

Mark nodded before saying goodnight to Doc and Micah, grabbing his rifle, and following Tom out of the clinic.

"I see you took up the rifle like your Pa," Benton commented.

"It's good enough for him, it's good enough for me." Mark's tone revealed the pride and concern he felt for Lucas.

"It takes more than a little thing like a heart attack to take Luke out. I mean, those war stories you heard growing up weren't make-believe."

"Pa doesn't really talk much about the war; not to me anyway." Mark's voice didn't hold bitterness, but respect for whatever his Pa had gone through during the war and his need to keep some things private.

"Well you heard your doctor, Lucas will be up and around in no time."

The two men entered the hotel to see Lou starting to dim the lamps in the lobby.

Hearing the men enter, Lou turned around and smiled as she greeted them in her Irish brogue, "Mark, I hate to tell ya, but the kitchen is closed and I'm fresh out of apple pie."

"We both need a room for the night, if you could oblige," the stranger with Mark answered.

Concern crossed Lou's face as she saw Mark's furrowed brow and slumped shoulders.

"Mark, what's wrong?"

"...Pa had a heart attack."

Lou's eyes met Mark's as she heard his quiet answer. Her hand shot to her mouth as she gasped; Lou looked at the stranger who nodded.

"Lou, this is Tom Benton," Mark introduced. "He's a friend of Pa's."

"...Pleased ta meet you... Mark, what of Lucas? Tis he alright?"

"Doc said it was only minor, but he'll be down for a few weeks. I didn't get to talk to Pa, he was still unconscious..."

Lou heard the worry in Mark's voice and tried to reassure him, "Doc's the best physician I've ever met, I'm sure you'll be takin' Lucas home in no time. Now, why don't I get the two of ya settled in rooms so we can all get a good night's rest?"

Mark registered, said goodnight to Benton and Lou, and quickly retired to his room. He set his rifle right inside the hotel room door and locked the door behind him before finally collapsing on the big feather bed.

'What if he never wakes up?'

Mark turned his head and looked across the room to see his reflection in the mirror. He tilted his head, seeing a rare glimpse of his Pa in his own face. It was then Mark knew he couldn't lie there and worry himself all night. His Pa would expect more of him; Mark expected more of himself. He knew he couldn't control what happened, and that one day there would come a time when Mark would have to say goodbye to his Pa.

"Please, God," Mark simply prayed, "Just don't let that time be tonight."

Knowing he couldn't do anything but wait for morning, Mark slipped under the covers and drifted off to sleep.

18MC18

Mark woke the next morning and pulled his pocket watch off the nightstand beside him. It was too dark to see the watch face and Mark lit a lamp to find it was just a few minutes before six.

Mark walked down the hotel stairs to find Lou waiting for him at the desk.

"Mark, I'm glad ta see ya awake. I set out some breakfast for ya on a corner table."

"How much do I-"

"Don't ya go insultin' me by trying to pay for the room or the meal; it's on the house."

"But I-"

"Deputy, don't ya make me go talkin' to the marshal about you harassing me, either."

Mark shook his head and rolled his eyes as he chuckled. "Thanks, Lou."

Mark entered the quiet restaurant and enjoyed the breakfast Lou had prepared for him. He was almost done when Joanna rushed into the room and looked around before her eyes fell on Mark.

The teacher walked towards Mark's table as she spoke, "I just heard, is your father going to be alright?"

Mark stood and pulled out a chair for her before taking his seat again. "Doc says it was minor and that he should be fine."

"How are you handling it?"

"...It was a shock. Pa's young... well, he's not old. I should've spent more time at the ranch than I have been... I didn't think about how much of a strain it could be putting on him, especially him having to do all the work during the epidemic. Pa's always been healthy and I never would have thought he had my Grandmother's heart..."

"Your Grandmother's heart?"

"She died of a heart attack. One day my Pa went into the house... and she had suffered a heart attack..."

Joanna could hear the worry in Mark's voice and gently put her hand over his.

"It's not your fault, Mark. You're at the ranch as much as you can be. I'm sure there's nothing any of us could have done, and he'll be alright in no time. You'll see."

"Maybe. But what if it happens again, what if..." Mark stopped himself and looked up at her. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't be bothering you with this..."

"Please, Mark..." Joanna moved Mark's plate aside and took his other hand. "I want to be here for you, I want to listen. ...If you'd be willing to talk to me. I know we haven't known each other for long, but... I feel so free around you; I feel like I could trust you with my deepest secrets. I want you to feel the same way... but of course, I'll respect your privacy if..."

"I'd appreciate being able to talk to someone." Mark let out a heavy sigh. "Pa's my whole world. You know my mother died when I was just six… and it's just been the two of us since she passed away. We left Enid and travelled around for four years, never really having a place to call home. We were each other's home. ...Pa means everything to me, because he was all I had. I've come close to losing him too many times... and when I found out it was a heart attack..." Mark's voice faltered and it took him a few moments to find it again. "This wasn't some outlaw that could be thrown in jail. He had been hurt by something that I can't see or stop. I wasn't there when it happened and... and I'm honestly afraid I'll come home from standing shift one night and find him the way he found my Grandmother. ...My Ma died from smallpox and when she first took sick... I was the one to find her collapsed on the floor. It's been nearly fifteen years since my Ma died, but I don't think I can take losing another parent right now... he means everything to me..."

"But you don't have to face losing your Pa right now, Mark. You told me yourself the doctor said it was only minor."

"Doctors can be wrong..."

"But you know as well as I do that the Good Lord can't be. Have faith, Mark. It will all turn out."

Mark nodded as he deeply inhaled. "Thank you, Joanna. Can I walk you to the schoolhouse?"

"No, but you can finish your breakfast and then go and see your Pa. I'm sure seeing him will make you feel better. I'll stop by after school to see how he's doing."

"Thank you."

Joanna stood and kissed the deputy on the cheek before briskly walking away. Mark watched as Miss Pierce left the restaurant, a faint smile on his face, and oblivious to Lou's chuckling from behind the desk.

After finishing breakfast, Mark left the restaurant and stepped into the lobby.

"Thanks for breakfast, and the room, Lou."

"The least I could do, Mark. Although I will say, you best be careful; the deputy and teacher of a town both have reputations to uphold."

Lou laughed as Mark's cheeks reddened in embarrassment.

"I'll see you later, Lou."

As Mark stepped out onto the boardwalk he looked up and down the street to see North Fork just starting to come to life as the sun peeked from behind the hills. Mark slowly walked to the doctor's office and took in a deep breath before putting his hand to the door knob. As Mark stepped inside he could hear his Pa arguing with Doc from the back of the office. He let out a sigh of relief, glad his Pa was feeling well enough to be yelling at the doctor.

As Mark made his way to the back room, he could hear Doc arguing back.

"Lucas, you had a heart attack and need to rest! I won't be letting you go back to the ranch until I know you won't try to over do it!"

"You can't keep me here!"

"But I can keep you in jail," Mark warned as he stepped into the room.

Doc and Lucas both looked up at Mark as he closed the door behind him.

"Pa, nice of you to wake up," Mark stepped to Lucas's bedside as he spoke.

"Not much use being awake if I can't do anything..." Lucas complained as he crossed his arms.

"Lucas, as your physician I only have your best interest in mind. Please listen to me."

"Tom had no right to bring me into town."

"Pa, you were unconscious!" Mark turned to the doctor as he went on, "Doc could you give me a few minutes with Pa?"

"I'm tired of saying the same thing over and over again. He's all yours, Mark. Good luck."

As the door closed behind Doc, Lucas looked up at his son. "Now, Mark-"

"Pa, you need to hear me out and listen to what I'm trying to tell you."

Lucas was a bit shocked at the tone of his son's voice, but as he looked into his son's eyes, he saw a mixture of relief and worry. Lucas relaxed his body language and nodded his head.

"You had a heart attack. We both have to face that fact. Now while I'm thanking the Good Lord it was a minor one and that I'm talking to you right now, we have to treat this like it is. I know you dread the idea of being laid up. We both do. We're both stubborn and thick headed and don't like seeing other people do our work. But the day comes when everyone has to ask for help and rely on other people. I know I'd be dreaming if you waited for Doc to give you a clean bill of health to start working again, so I'm not gonna bother addressing that right now. But until you truly feel like you can handle working, I'm asking you to rest. And when I say until you truly feel like you can handle it, that doesn't mean until you want to handle it or think you can handle it. I've already lost one parent too early in life and I know it's only natural for me to one day have to say goodbye to you, but this isn't that season of life and I'd appreciate it if you'd stop trying to make it that way." Lucas started to open his mouth, but Mark continued before he could say anything. "And about Tom. You're being completely irrational. What if he hadn't been there? Would you rather have me come home last night and find you-" Mark stopped himself and softened his tone, realizing how worked up he had gotten. "...Would you rather I had found you... the way you found your mother?"

Lucas could hear the fear and hurt in his son's voice. Memories of his own mother's death flooded Lucas's mind and as he looked back up at his son... he knew that for Mark's sake, this was a battle he couldn't fight.

"Alright, Mark." Lucas sat up a little more before going on, "Son, are you alright?"

"You scared me, Pa," Mark admitted. "…But when I entered the office I knew if you were up to yelling at Doc at the top of your lungs, you would be alright."

"I'll apologize to him later."

"How are you feeling?"

"My chest hurts a little and I'm exhausted. More hungry than anything."

"I'll ask Lou about getting you some breakfast," Mark answered as he put a hand on his Pa's shoulder. "Anything in particular you want?"

"Start him on something simple, Mark," Doc called as he came into the room again. "Oatmeal should do."

"Oatmeal?" Lucas complained.

"Just this morning, we'll look at getting you something with a bit more bulk for lunch."

"Yeah, I think liver and onion soup was the special for today," Mark teased with a gleam in his eye. "I'll be back."

Mark left the office and started towards the hotel when he saw the two men from Friday night riding out of town. An uneasy feeling came over Mark as he stared after them, unable to place where he had seen them before. Upon entering the hotel, Mark took off his hat as he approached Lou.

"Mark, I wasn't expecting ya back this soon," Lou commented. "Lucas still sleepin'?"

"No, in fact, he's hungry and I was wondering if we could get some oatmeal for him."

"Sure thing," Lou answered with a smile before disappearing into the kitchen.

As Mark waited for Lou at the desk, he saw Tom Benton coming down the stairs.

"Morning Mr. Benton," Mark greeted as he went to shake the man's hand. "I'm sorry I wasn't the friendliest last night. It all came as quite a shock."

"Don't worry about it, Mark. And Tom will do. Have you been to see your Pa this morning?"

"I was just over there. He's awake and asking for food, so that's a good sign."

"How'd he take the news about being laid up for a while?"

"Not well," Mark laughed. "But I don't think I've ever been so happy to hear him yelling at anyone."

"I can imagine," Tom chuckled. "I'll stop by later and visit."

"I'm sure he'd appreciate it." Mark briefly paused before going on, "I'm glad you were there last night. What are you doing back down here?"

"I'm working on a case and figured I'd stop by to see the two of you."

"What kind of a case?"

Mark watched as the man hesitated and debated. Debating about what, Mark wasn't quite sure.

"…I'll have to tell you about it later."

"Is something wrong?"

"No… it's just… tricky. Mark, I have some work to do, but I'll come by the clinic to see your Pa."

"…Alright. See you later."

Mark watched as the man picked up his hat and walked out of the building. Mark walked to the window and watched Benton cross the street and look around before entering the marshal's office. Shaking his head, Mark walked back to the desk and waited until Lou finally came out with a bowl of oatmeal for Lucas.

"Thanks Lou, I appreciate it."

"Not a problem, Mark. Tell your Pa I said we're praying for him."

"I will," Mark called as he left the hotel.

Walking back towards the clinic, Mark looked up the street and saw John Hamilton entering the bank. In his mind's eye, Mark was suddenly watching two men riding away as he crumpled to the ground beside a fire.

"Well are you going to just stand there all day, or come in?" Doc called through the half open door of his office.

Mark walked the rest of the way into the clinic, the scene still playing over and over again in his mind.

"Mark, are you alright?" Doc asked.

"…I'm fine…" Mark quietly answered. "…Doc, could you take this in to Pa for me? I have some things I need to take care of…"

"Mark?" Doc called again.

"Thanks…"

Mark set the bowl of oatmeal on the desk and slowly walked back out of the office. He stood on the boardwalk, staring at the bank until he finally began walking towards the livery.

"Howdy, Mark," Nils called as he looked up from brushing down a horse.

But Mark didn't hear him. All he heard were gunshots.

"Mark?" Nils asked as he stepped closer. "Mark?"

When the blacksmith put a hand on his shoulder, Mark looked up at the man.

"Nils, I got some things to take care of… but if I'm not back in a couple of hours, tell Micah I headed north out of town."

"Mark, what's going on?"

"I'm not sure…"

Nils watched as Mark saddled his horse and rode down the street without saying another word. Thoroughly confused and somewhat concerned, Nils made his way to Micah's office and found the marshal and Tom Benton talking.

"I'm sorry to interrupt, but Micah, something's not right with Mark."

"Well Lucas had a heart attack last night…" Micah started to explain, but stopped when Nils shook his head.

"This isn't that. He had a real funny look on his face and rode out of town. He told me that if he wasn't back in a few hours, I should tell you he rode north out of town."

"Well that's just great," Benton complained. "Micah, we need to find him and tell him what's going on."

"Tom, I think our news can wait a few days. His father did just have a heart attack."

"With all due respect, Marshal, this isn't the type of matter that should wait. He's your deputy and he needs to know, and he needs to be ready and paying attention to things around town."

"Ready for what?" Nils inquired.

"Ready for absolutely nothing," Benton sternly replied.

"Thanks, Nils," Micah offered. "I'll figure out what's going on."

"…Alright."

Both men looked at Nils, waiting for him to leave the office.

"I guess I'll be seeing you."

As the door closed behind the blacksmith, Benton turned to Micah.

"I don't know where Mark went or why, but we need to find him and get him back here so we can start planning."

"I know," Micah sighed. "I just wish the timing was better."

"Don't we all."

19MC19

Mark stepped down from BlueBoy and examined the tracks in the dirt. With so many other horse and wagon tracks though, Mark was beginning to have a hard time making heads or tales of what he saw. Passing BlueBoy's reigns from his left hand to his right, Mark continued to stand at the fork in the road and debate about which path to take. He was just mounting up when he heard someone calling his name from behind. Mark turned around to see Micah riding up behind him.

"Micah, what brings you out here?"

"Nils told me what you said back in town."

"But I haven't been gone a half hour," Mark replied in confusion.

"I know, but I need you back at the office. We need to take care of some things."

"Micah, can it wait? I really…" Mark stopped as he saw the look on Micah's face. "What's wrong Micah? It's not Pa, is it?"

"No, it's not your Pa. Benton will explain when we get back, but it's a matter of national security."

"National security?" Mark asked.

"I'll explain it all when we get back to the office."

"But…" Mark looked back and let out a heavy sigh. "…I guess it wasn't much use, anyway."

Micah watched as Mark mounted up and started riding towards town. Micah rode beside Mark, curiously staring at the deputy.

"Mark, what were you doing out here?"

"It's nothing, just a wild goose chase."

"Son, you don't go on wild goose chases. Mark, something's bothering you, what is it?"

"…Friday night when I broke up the brawl at Sweeney's, two men attacked me. They claimed they just saw a man with a rifle and didn't know what else to do, so I let them off. But I had this feeling… like I had seen them somewhere before. Today I saw them riding out of town and I had the same feeling. Then I took a look at the bank and… Micah, I think they were the men that tried to kill me when the bank was robbed."

"Are you sure Mark?"

"…As sure as I can be. I'll admit the lighting was bad and I had just been shot. But I… I have this feeling in my gut and the more I think about that night… the more I think it was them. But I wanted to be sure… so I was going to try to trail them, and confront them. But I didn't get out here fast enough and their trail doesn't stand out from all the other tracks."

"That tells me why you're out here, but that doesn't explain what's bothering you."

"They shot me once. They almost killed me. They could do it again and… Micah… after everything that happened it never really hit me that they were still out there. Before, I was upset about not getting the money back, but now… now I realize they're not so long gone. Now I realize they could come back… and try to finish what they started. I've seen too many people try to do that to Pa. I was… I was scared out of my wits to saddle up and trail after them… but I knew I had to. And now… now I'm still scared and disappointed in myself for not being able to find them. I owe it to Stephan and the rest of the town to see them put behind bars. It's not right that they're still as free as a bird."

"No, it's not right. But it's not your fault, either. One day they will see justice. And you don't need to feel ashamed for being scared, either. I was scared silly when Dan Maury showed up in town to settle his score with me. But the measure of a man isn't based on if he scares. Being scared keeps your senses alive. You're measured by your willingness to face your fears. And you were willing to do just that."

"…Micah, do you think they recognized me?"

"If they did, they didn't know you recognized them or they probably would have tried something in town. Just be thankful they're gone. If there weren't more pressing matters at hand, I'd ride with you to try to find them, but this can't exactly wait. We have a lot of work to do."

"National security… what, we have another senator coming through town?"

"Something like that…"

"Micah, why don't you just tell me?"

"I can't talk about it here. We need somewhere more private."

The two men continued towards North Fork and put their horses up in the livery before walking back over to the office where they found Benton at the desk, maps and papers everywhere.

"Is this the case you couldn't talk about?" Mark asked as he shut the door behind him.

"Yes," Benton replied. "And Mark, I have to swear you to absolute secrecy. You can't tell anyone, not even your Pa about what I'm getting ready to tell you, and you don't speak a word of it outside of these four walls, you hear?"

"I can't tell Pa?" Mark asked in confusion. "What's the big deal?"

"You hear?" Benton pressed with raised eyebrows.

"…I guess I don't have a choice," Mark replied as he sat across from Benton. "Just what's going on that has you two acting like Benjamin Harrison is coming to town?"

Benton turned towards Micah and demanded, "What'd you tell him?"

"I didn't say anything," Micah answered as he raised his hands.

Mark looked back and forth between the two men, complete shock shadowing his face.

"You're telling me… the president… the President of the United States, is coming here, to North Fork? As in… here?"

"Yes," Benton answered with a nod. "And that's why I'm here. I'm supposed to be helping with the security details."

"But why… when… how…?"

"He's passing through on his way to deal with some army and Indian issue. He'll be here in four days, traveling in a stage coach with a security detail. He'll stay at the hotel overnight and then be on his way. There's been rumors of an assassination plot by a group of rebels that think we're still fighting the civil war. They're not too keen on his efforts to get blacks voting rights, or all the statehood talk."

"What do you want us to do?" Mark asked.

"I need you to keep extra eyes and ears out, keep an eye on any strangers in town, and the night he gets here, the three of us are going to be taking shifts walking the streets."

"What is the security detail going to be doing the whole time?" Micah asked.

"They'll be covering the hotel. Now take a look at this map…"

For the next hour, the three strategized and planned for the impending arrival of the president. They worked and reworked routes and escape plans until they were confident in what they had come up with. With everything set, Benton excused himself to work on some of his other paperwork in the hotel room, leaving marshal and deputy alone.

"Micah, do you need any help around here?"

"No, I'm fine. You should go see your Pa."

"Thanks."

Mark left the office and headed towards the clinic. He entered his Pa's room to find Lucas asleep, his bowl from breakfast sitting halfway off the edge of the bed. Mark walked to his Pa's side and grabbed the bowl before putting it on the nightstand and then taking a seat beside Lucas. Mark chuckled to himself, thinking how strange it was to see their roles reversing at times. It would be a long time before Mark had to take care of his Pa, but it was a day that would come… and he couldn't wait until he could set his own son in "Grandpa's" lap. Mark thought through the years… all he and Lucas had been through together… everything his Pa had done for him. Everything his Pa had taught him. Everything his Pa meant to him.

Mark's thoughts were interrupted by a soft knock on the door. He stood to answer it and found Joanna standing on the other side.

"How is he?" She inquired as Mark let her inside.

"He's resting now, but he woke up this morning. Aren't you supposed to be at school?"

"Lunch," Joanna explained. "I figured it'd be a good time to visit seeing as how I'll have some students to deal with later this afternoon."

"What about Stephan? Doesn't he usually deal with that sort of thing?"

"Yes, but… well, it's two of the younger girls."

"The girls? Which ones?" Mark asked in surprise as he raised an eyebrow.

"Annie and Georgia. Most of the time they're as sweet as angels, but today… I just don't know what's gotten into them. Annie pulled out a sling shot of all things and Georgia… well she decided to dip Julia's braids in her inkwell…"

"I would expect that from their brothers, but not the two of them… I wonder what's gotten them acting so strange."

"I don't know, but I intend to get to the bottom of it, sooner or later. I just wanted to check on your Pa, and see how you were holding up."

"Thank you, Joanna, it really means a lot."

"Mark, about last night… it truly was a wonderful evening. Like I said… I haven't been able to enjoy myself that much in a long time. I finally… well Mark, I felt… free. You've met my brother and my father is worse than he is. I never expected… to be able to be so… comfortable with a man. I… there's just something so different about you, Mark. You're not like any of the men I've ever met before… and I love that about you. You're so… kind. And… gentle… and…"

When Lucas didn't hear anything else, he carefully half opened his eyes to see his son kissing Joanna. A smug smile crossed the rancher's face as closed his eyes again, looking forward to the teasing that would ensue in the days to come.

20MC20

Wednesday morning, Doc Burrage released Lucas with strict instructions to go home and take it easy for a few days. Mark tied BlueBoy to the back of the buckboard and drove Lucas home as soon as Micah was able to take over the office. Lucas noticed Mark was particularly quiet on the way home, but didn't say much about it considering everything that had happened. When they arrived at the ranch, Lucas started helping Mark with the team, but didn't get very far.

"Pa, Doc told you to take it easy. I've unharnessed the team a hundred times before, I can do it now. You need to go rest. I'll be in to start lunch after I take care of the chores."

"I'm not tired. Mark-"

"If the situation were reversed, would you want me helping with the team?" Mark asked, using Lucas's own words against him.

"You can't keep me cooped up inside forever, you know."

"I know, that's why I'm going to do it for as long as I can. Now will you please go inside and rest for a little bit?"

"Alright…" Lucas sighed as he turned around to walk inside.

Satisfied, Mark turned back to his task and took care of the horses before working on the morning chores around the barn and yard. When Mark walked inside, he smiled to himself when he saw Lucas already asleep in his chair.

Mark set to making lunch and before long was setting the table. Accidentally dropping a cup, Mark cringed as the tin clanked on the floor and looked up to see Lucas starting to rouse.

"Not tired, huh?" Mark asked with a smile as he bent down to pick up the cup.

"You don't have to be tired to fall asleep," Lucas replied as he walked to the table. "Speaking of being asleep… you remember when Joanna visited Monday afternoon?"

Mark looked up at Lucas as he dropped the cup again. He bent down to pick it up before walking to the sink.

"Um, yeah, I remember telling you she dropped by…"

"Was that the first time?" Lucas asked with a gleam in his eye.

"The… first time she dropped by?" Mark innocently asked as he moved to take lunch off the stove.

"I was half awake when you came in and by the end of your conversation, well… I didn't want to interrupt…" Lucas answered, a devilish grin spreading across his face.

"So what if… if that was the first time? Or it couldn't have been. A man's gotta right to kiss a beautiful woman… well, when a… she wants… to be kissed…" Mark knew it was just him and his Pa, but he couldn't stop the reddening of his cheeks.

"So, you're not so against all that… "gross stuff" your Ma and I used to do anymore?"

Relaxing some, Mark shrugged his shoulders as he dropped into a chair across from Lucas.

"Well… Pa… I mean… it just felt so… natural. It… it was like something was drawing me to her and I couldn't help myself. I mean… I guess I could've helped myself, but I didn't want to help myself…" Mark suddenly realized where this conversation could be going and quickly raised his hands as he looked up at Lucas. "Don't worry, I'll help myself… I mean, I'll… I'll be a gentleman until we're married. I mean I'll still be a gentleman after we're married, but… but Pa, you know what I mean…"

Lucas laughed as he shook his head and sat down.

"Yes, Son, I know what you mean and I wouldn't expect any less of you. How did Sunday night go?"

"Well, Pa… it… it just went. We understood each other and we were able to communicate in a way that… we didn't even have to say what we were thinking. Sometimes we just knew what the other person meant. Pa, I never met a woman who was so passionate and understanding about politics, either. We had talked about politics some before, but Sunday night… her compassion and ideals, her morals came shining through like I've never seen them. She has such a heart for people, all people. She doesn't judge people because of where they're from or the color of their skin… she judges people for who they are, and the character they have. She told me about some of her upbringing, too… and it wasn't easy. Her father didn't treat her or her mother very well while he was alive and… things were always a struggle for them, afterward. But even after all of that, somehow, someway… she turned into this… this wonderful woman that is always so… happy, and… gracious, and… hopeful. And Pa, she… she makes me feel so alive inside."

"It sounds like the two of you will be very happy together, Son."

"I know we will be, Pa."

Over the course of lunch, Lucas slowly got Mark away from the subject of Joanna and managed to talk a little bit about things in town and things around the ranch that needed to get done. After lunch, Mark said he was going to ride the range for a little while.

"What time do you have to leave for town tonight?" Lucas asked.

"Micah gave me the night off since it's your first evening home. He knew I wouldn't be able to concentrate with you out here by yourself."

"Mark…"

"Oh, don't worry, Pa, I know you wouldn't try to over do it if I was gone or anything like that," Mark teased. "I just needed a night to put myself at ease."

"Tomorrow night," Lucas stated as he pointed a finger at his son, "You are going to stand shift. Your life can't come to a stop because I had a trip to Doc's."

"Of course not. What would make you think something like that?" Mark quipped with a gleam in his eye as he picked up his rifle and headed for the front door. "I love you, Pa."

"I love you too, Son. And keep an eye out for wolves," Lucas reminded. "I have a right to worry, too."

"I'll see you in a few hours."

Mark saddled BlueBoy and rode to one of the farther grazing pastures to check on some of the cattle. As Mark worked, his mind wandered to the secret he was keeping from his Pa. Mark understood that orders were orders… but he never felt right when he wasn't able to be open and honest with his Pa about everything. There would inevitably be questions that Mark wouldn't be able to answer until after Friday night, and he didn't know how he was going to avoid those.

After working for several hours, Mark started back towards the homestead. Not far from the main road into town, Mark saw Billy Davis riding up. He waved to his friend and went to meet him.

"Howdy, Billy. What brings you out here?"

"I was in town earlier and a man there asked me to deliver a note to you. Said his name was Tom… Tom Benton. He a friend of yours?"

"More a friend of my Pa's, but I know him," Mark answered as he took the note from Billy. "Thanks for riding out. Hey, you ever smooth things over with Sarah's parents?"

"Mrs. Fuller got Mr. Fuller to calm down and Sarah sweet talked her father into allowing me to come calling again. You're lucky Joanna doesn't have any family you have to deal with."

"Well I have met her brother," Mark commented as he subconsciously rubbed his jaw. "He wasn't… the friendliest person…"

"Her brother?" Billy asked in confusion. "Sarah told me that Joanna told her that she didn't have any family."

"Well, either she misunderstood or… well, it's possible Joanna doesn't really consider her brother family. They don't seem to get along too well and he's not the type of person you would necessarily want to have to introduce as a blood relation."

"I can understand. I won't say anything to Sarah, either. Say, are you working Friday night? Maybe I can swing by the office and play you a game of checkers."

"Sounds-" Mark stopped, realizing he couldn't have Billy hanging around the office Friday night. "…How about tomorrow night, would that work? Friday nights are usually full of fights needing to be broken up over at Sweeney's."

"I've gotta help Pa bring in the rest of the crop tomorrow night. Saturday?"

"I'll be working then, sounds good."

"I better be going. I'll see you later, Mark."

"See ya, Billy."

As Billy rode towards his place, Mark opened the note from Benton.

'Mark,

Meet us at the office at midnight.

Changes of plan need to be discussed.

-Tom'

"Great," Mark mumbled as he folded the note again and put it in his pocket. "Now I'm sneaking out of the house…"

Mark sighed and kicked BlueBoy, wishing this didn't have to be his problem.

After taking care of his horse, Mark went inside to find Lucas at the stove, cooking supper. He stepped onto the back porch and washed up before starting to set the table.

"Well this is a surprise," Lucas laughed as he turned from the stove.

Mark almost didn't hear his Pa, but caught what Lucas had said at the last second.

"…What's a surprise?"

"I figured you'd be all over me for cooking dinner."

"Oh," Mark replied as he continued to set the table. Then, he realized what his Pa was doing. "Then just why are you cooking dinner? You should be…" Mark stopped and looked at Lucas. "Nothing I'm going to say is going to make a difference, is it?"

"Not really," Lucas answered as he turned back to the stove. He stirred the vegetables some more before turning back to his son. "Mark, is something the matter?"

'Well that took him no time to figure out," Mark thought to himself. "No, Pa. Why?"

"Because you don't seem yourself and I can usually tell when something's bothering you. You've been a little off all day. You want to talk about it?"

"It's nothing, Pa, really."

Lucas looked at his son for several moments before turning back to the stove.

"If you say so."

After dinner, Mark did the dishes and then the evening chores before joining his Pa in the front room and grabbing a book to read. A while had passed when Lucas looked up from his Bible and curiously looked at his son.

"Are you sure you don't want to talk about it, Mark?"

"Why do you think there's something we need to talk about?"

"Because you haven't turned a page in fifteen minutes."

"I guess I'm just tired and having trouble concentrating."

"Just tired?" Lucas pressed.

Mark nodded before closing the book and yawning.

"I'm going to head to bed, Pa. I'll see you in the morning."

"Goodnight."

Lucas watched his son leave the room and curiously stared after him. After a few minutes, Lucas decided it just had to be everything that had happened in the last few weeks, including his heart attack. The rancher read for a while longer before turning down the lamps and following Mark to the bedroom.

Lucas hadn't been asleep for long when he heard the front door being closed. He looked across the room to see Mark still in his bunk and grabbed his rifle before carefully making his way into the front room to find no one there. Lucas walked to the window and was confused to see Mark walking to the barn. Walking back to the bedroom, Lucas pulled his son's covers back to find that Mark had stuffed pillows and blankets in his bunk. Lucas returned to the front room and watched from the window for several minutes before he saw Mark riding BlueBoy towards town.

Confused, Lucas slowly sat down in his chair.

'Why won't he talk to me?' Lucas asked himself.

As the minutes ticked by, Lucas worriedly waited for his son to return. He opened his Bible and read several passages, occasionally looking up at the window, hoping to see Mark returning.

Almost three hours after Mark had left, Lucas saw his son riding back into the yard. Blowing out the lantern, Lucas returned to the bedroom and got back in bed. After hearing his son return to the bedroom, Lucas was able to fall back asleep for a few more hours.

Waking before Mark, Lucas got up and dressed before he started to fix breakfast, trying to decide how he was going to handle this situation. Mark was grown and could take care of himself, but what trouble had he gotten into that had brought him to sneaking out like he was thirteen years old again?

"Pa, you shouldn't be up," Mark interrupted Lucas's thoughts.

Before he could come up with another reply, Lucas answered, "And you shouldn't feel the need to sneak around behind my back." Lucas took the oatmeal off the stove and turned towards his son, crossing his arms. "Mark, are you in some kind of trouble?"

Confusion crossed Mark's face before he realized he shouldn't have tried sneaking out in the first place. A look of guilt replaced the confusion before Mark dropped his eyes to the ground.

"I'm sorry, Pa, I should've just told you I had to go out."

"At eleven o'clock at night? Mark, just where did you have to be? You were out until almost two this morning, and Son, I was worried."

"Pa, I…" Mark struggled to come up with an explanation.

"Mark, this isn't like you. We've always been truthful with each other. What did you have to try to cover up by stuffing pillows under your blankets?"

"Pa, I'm sorry, but I… I can't tell you. I know this looks bad, and I guess I should've tried to come up with a way to explain this before this happened. I trust you, Pa. I want to tell you this. If it were up to me, I would tell you. But I can't."

"Son, Abby Hornsby can't hear. There's a big difference between can't and won't. And you know the difference."

"I do, Pa," Mark answered, becoming a little upset. "And I can't tell you right now. Just give me a few days and I can explain everything. Please, I need you to trust me."

"Son… it's not that I don't trust you. But if you're in trouble…"

"I'm not, Pa, honest. As long as I don't tell anyone what last night was about."

"Is someone threatening you?"

"It's not that kind of trouble, Pa. Please, Pa, if I told you, the least of my worries would be losing my job."

"Losing your-" Lucas stopped when he remembered hearing that from someone else recently. "Does this have to do with Tom? Are you working with him?"

Mark slowly nodded, hoping that would suffice.

"…Alright, Mark." Lucas sighed and looked towards the door before looking back at Mark. "On one hand, I at least know you're working with Tom. On the other hand…"

"You're worried because you know I"m working with Tom," Mark finished with a small gleam in his eye. "Don't worry, Pa. everything will be alright. I just need a few days."

"Just a few days?"

"When you come into town Saturday morning so we can pick up supplies, I'll tell you all about it." Mark looked into Lucas's eyes and could still see the hesitation. "Hey, at least I'm not leaving the territory for two months like somebody else I know."

"Fair enough. I'm sorry for getting upset, Mark, but when I found out you were trying to sneak around…"

"I know, deception never looks good. I just couldn't figure a way to tell you."

"Well thanks for telling me what you did. You hungry?"

Mark nodded as his stomach let out a large growl.

21MC21

That evening, Mark went to town to stand his shift. The streets were quiet as Mark made his rounds, and he was thankfully no one came knocking on the office door after he had fallen asleep. Mark was fixing the coffee Friday morning when he turned at the sound of the door swinging open.

"Morning, Mark," Micah greeted as he entered the office. "Quiet night?"

"Thankfully," Mark answered as he handed Micah a cup of coffee. "Just so you know, Pa knows something is up and that I'm working with Tom, but he doesn't know what's going on. I was going to tell you last night, but you seemed a little preoccupied with Mrs. Maguire."

"He catch you sneaking out Wednesday night?" Micah asked with a chuckle.

"Yep. He wasn't too happy with me at first, but I think he understands now."

"Well that's good. One more night and this will all be over."

"Thank goodness for that." Mark grabbed his hat and rifle before heading towards the door. "Well, I better be going. I got some chores to do before I come back this afternoon to help out with everything."

"Tell your Pa I said hello."

"I'll be sure to, Micah."

Mark left the office and was almost to the livery when he heard someone yelling for him.

"Deputy McCain! Deputy McCain!"

Mark put his hands on Jeffery's shoulders as the boy came running up to him.

"Jeffery, what's wrong?"

"It's Miss Pierce, a man came-" Jeffery took a big gulp of air before continuing, "He forced his way in, and took Miss Pierce."

"Joanna?" Mark worriedly asked before the boy nodded. "Where's Mr. Griswold?"

"He didn't want to leave everyone at school- he sent me to get you."

"Run back to school, I'm going to get my horse."

Jeffery nodded and started back to the schoolhouse as Mark went inside the livery and quickly saddled BlueBoy before riding the short distance to the schoolhouse. When he arrived, Stephan was waiting for him on the steps outside of the school.

"What did he look like, which way did they go?"

"Almost as tall as your father, light brown hair… wore all black. They rode east out of town. Mark, if I didn't know any better, I'd say he's one of the men who robbed the bank."

"Robbed the bank? But the two I saw didn't have brown hair…" Mark stopped, remembering there were three outlaws involved in the robbery. Then, Mark realized something else. "You said he was almost as tall as Pa… did he have a scar on his left cheek?"

"I don't know, why?"

"Never mind."

Mark turned BlueBoy around and sent him into a gallop, following Stephan's directions. A little ways from town, Mark started looking for a trail. He eventually found tracks that left the main road. The thickness of the tracks indicated that there was a lot of weight on the horse, probably two people; most likely Joanna and her brother. Mark, however, couldn't understand why Connor would come to town and abduct his own sister. It didn't make any sense. What also didn't make any sense was that if Stephan was right and Connor did rob the bank, why would Connor come back to North Fork twice?

Mark continued following the tracks, frustrated at how difficult it was becoming to not lose the trail. What became even more apparent and frustrating to Mark was that they seemed to be going in large circles, like he was being led on a wild goose chase, like… like he was being lured into a trap. Mark kept a steady eye on his surroundings and frequently checked behind him. He continued wandering through the New Mexico land until the trail finally led up to the hills. Unable to track them from BlueBoy any longer, Mark dismounted and led his horse through the rocks and rugged terrain, trying to keep sight of the disappearing trail.

Finally having lost the trail, Mark resorted to aimlessly searching the extensive hills that were lined with boulders and canyons and everything else that was a tracker's nightmare. It was noon when Mark realized he had come out with no food or water, and was grateful for the fall breeze that compensated for the hot sun. Taking a few minutes to let himself and BlueBoy rest, Mark sat down by a boulder and removed his hat before wiping his face with a handkerchief. As Mark was putting his hat back on top of his head, he heard the unmistakable sound of a gun being cocked behind him.

"It certainly took you long enough to get out here," A voice declared from behind him.

Mark started to turn around, but stopped when he felt a gun being pushed into his back.

"Not quite so fast. Drop the rifle, take three steps forward, and raise your hands. Then you can turn around."

Mark did so and wasn't surprised to see Connor Pierce in front of him. What worried him was that Joanna wasn't anywhere to be seen.

"What'd you do with her? Where is she?"

"I told you, my sister isn't any of your business, and we're not in "your town" anymore, mister."

"She's your sister, why are you doing this?!" Mark demanded.

"We have some… family affairs to attend to. Deputy, I suggest you stop trying to meddle with my family and…" A grin crossed the man's face as he continued, "Worry about your own."

"Worry about-" Mark stopped as anger flashed in his eyes. "If you laid one hand on my Pa-" Mark took a step forward, but stopped as the man shot the ground in front of him.

"Now I didn't say I did anything to your Pa. …But I didn't say I didn't do anything to him, either. So I suggest you go take care of your family, and I'll take care of mine."

"I want to see her," Mark demanded.

"I want to see her," he mocked. "How does it feel to want?"

"Pierce, I swear, if you do anything to either one of them…" Mark stalled, torn between trying to find Joanna and making sure his Pa was alright.

"McCain, she's my sister. I won't do anything to her. I can't promise as much about your Pa. Now you get on that horse, ride home, and check on your Pa like a good son."

With no other option, Mark slowly walked towards BlueBoy, never taking his eyes off Connor. As far as he could, Mark backed BlueBoy up before turning the horse around and backtracking as fast as he could, waiting for Pierce to shoot him in the back.

Mark made it out of the hills and raced for home, confused and worried thoughts swirling in his brain. Pierce could be bluffing, he had to be bluffing. Why would Connor drag his Pa into his? What did his Pa have to do anything? Why was the man so eager to get his sister out of North Fork, and why had he led him on such a wild goose chase?

It took an agonizing two hours to ride home, and Mark worried every minute of those two hours. He rode into the yard, calling for his Pa and jumped off BlueBoy before the horse could come to a stop. Mark ran inside to see Lucas crumpled on the floor.

"PA?!" Mark started towards Lucas, only to have someone restrain him from behind.

Mark fought and struggled against the man until he heard a gun being cocked and looked to see another man, the man who had attacked him in the saloon, aiming a revolver at Lucas.

The man restraining Mark slowly let him go and came into the deputy's line of vision. Mark instantly recognized him as the other man from the saloon. Mark was convinced he was looking at the two men that had shot him that night after the bank robbery.

"What do you want?" Mark demanded as he looked between the two.

His attention was temporarily diverted when he heard his Pa starting to stir and mumble, "Don't… Mark…"

The man without the gun took a step towards Lucas and kicked him in the ribs as he spoke, "It's simply enough. We want to know when the president is supposed to arrive, and what route he's taking to town."

"What makes you think we know?" Mark asked.

"Don't play games with us, deputy," the man answered. "We'd really hate to shoot up another McCain."

Mark's eyes narrowed as he assessed the two men in front of him. The man next to Lucas pulled the rancher up off the ground and punched him, sending Lucas into the bedroom door. Mark started forward, but the man beside Mark took the butt of his gun to Mark's head, hitting him hard enough to send Mark to the ground. The second man again picked Lucas up and sent a punch to his midsection as Lucas leaned heavily against the door frame. Mark could see these men had already been here for quite some time; vibrant bruises lined his Pa's face.

"Your Pa here claims he don't know. Maybe he does, maybe he doesn't. But we know you have to, because you've been meeting with the Marshal and that government agent. I'm giving you one more chance before I send a bullet into your Pa's skull."

Lucas's eyes half opened and saw how torn Mark was. He saw how close his son was to complying and pleaded with Mark, "Son, don't do it. Don't you dare-"

Mark cringed as he started to stand and the man beside his Pa punched Lucas across the face one last time, sending him unconscious. The man with a gun stepped closer to Lucas and held the revolver to the rancher's temple.

"And as soon as we're through with him, don't forget we's got that pretty little school teacher, too."

Mark's eyes stayed locked onto the gun pointed at his father's head. He couldn't be the reason the President of the United States died… but he couldn't be the reason his Pa died, either. He would never be able to forgive himself.

Ever so slowly, Mark looked to the man.

"…In three hours the stage will be ten miles east of town... coming down a back road from Willow Springs. They'll be dead smack in the middle of a canyon."

The man returned his gun to his holster as a smug smile crossed his face.

"Just know that if you're pulling one on us and there's a trap waiting, that school teacher's gonna be the first one to get a bullet. Kelly, get some rope."

"Why don't we just kill them?"

"Because, if the deputy was stupid enough to lie, we need him alive to tell us the truth. After we kill the teacher."

"I told you-" Mark took a step forward, but received a punch to his stomach.

Mark doubled over and suddenly felt sharp pain across the back of his head, blacking out before he hit the ground.

When Mark woke, he realized he was tied down to something. Mark then realized his Pa was underneath him, face down and their arms were bound together. He remembered being tied up like this once before, and having worked for a long time without any success of getting free. Only thing was, Mark was a lot smaller back then and he couldn't imagine what his Pa's ribs felt like now.

Feeling Mark tense, Lucas realized his son was awake.

"Mark, are you alright?"

"I'm fine. How do you feel?"

"I've been better. Mark… please don't tell me you told them…"

Mark started to answer, but saw a shadow crossing the window curtains and hesitated.

"Mark!" Lucas yelled.

"What did you expect me to do?!" Mark yelled back.

"Refuse to say anything, tell them a lie, I don't know! But I certainly didn't think I raised a son that would let the president be assassinated!"

"It was either that or let them kill you!"

"Mark McCain-"

"Pa, they were going to shoot you, and they have Joanna! I couldn't risk it!"

"Mark, this is the President of the United States! You should've been able to-"

"To what? Come up with something else?!" Mark demanded. "I'm sorry if I come home after chasing after a mad man who abducted the woman I just happen to be in love with, see someone holding a gun to your head, and can't think straight enough to think of another way out! I-" Mark stopped, watching the shadow disappear and hearing someone running just as Lucas interrupted him.

"Mark, I know you better than this! You don't shy away from something because you're afraid! I thought I taught you growing up that sometimes we have to make sacrifices! I told you not to do it, I didn't care if they killed me, and I'm sure we could have gotten to Joanna in time if you would have just-"

"I'm sorry for yelling, Pa," Mark interrupted in a much quieter, calmer tone.

"You're sorry for yelling?! Mark, don't you think there's some bigger issues at hand?!"

"No, because you do know me better than this and I didn't tell them the truth. Well, not the whole truth, anyway."

"Mark what are you talking about?" Lucas asked, completely confused.

"Someone was waiting outside to make sure I didn't say something differently once we woke up, they're gone now. There's a knife on the counter, work with me to stand up."

As they worked to stand, Lucas asked Mark to start explaining.

"There's a decoy going to the spot I sent them. I figured… if I sent them there, we'd have enough time to work ourselves free… and you to get help before the stage arrived. Only problem is, I wasn't planning on getting knocked out."

They reached the counter and Mark struggled to get a good grip on the knife as Lucas continued to ask questions.

"So what's your plan now… and what do you mean enough time for ME to get help? What about you?"

"Like I told you, they've got Joanna, I can't take the time to ride into town first." Mark was finally able to twerk his arm enough so he could start cutting the ropes. "And you just had a heart attack a week ago. You can't go riding ten miles out of town."

"You're not going out there alone," Lucas firmly replied.

"Pa, I've got to. There's no other choice."

"Mark-"

"Pa, I love her. You'd do the same for Ma. But I also am going to need back up, which is why I need you to ride to town and tell Micah and Tom I'm headed for the decoy route." The blade cut through the final rope, allowing father and son to step away from each other and turn around. "Please, Pa."

Lucas put a hand on his son's shoulder and nodded. "Alright, Mark."

As Lucas slapped his son's shoulder, Mark turned and ran to the bedroom closet where he retrieved his old .22 rifle. He ran outside and jumped on BlueBoy, heading straight for the canyon.

It was a long, hard ride and Mark could feel his horse losing strength.

"Come on, BlueBoy," Mark urged, "Just a little longer."

Mark slowed BlueBoy as they came up to the entrance of the canyon and dismounted. Quietly making his way up and down the side of the canyon wall, Mark soon saw the criminals in the distance and was surprised to see that the outlaws had stuck to the inside of the canyon floor instead of positioning themselves on the ridges. Mark looked around for Connor and Joanna, but only saw the brother hiding behind one of the boulders. As Mark tried to come up with a plan, he heard the stage coach approaching. Throwing caution out the window, Mark started running to get within range of the outlaws. Just when Mark reached the point where he could accurately fire, several shots rang out and Mark saw the stagecoach driver and the man riding shotgun fall from their seats. Mark shouldered his rifle and fired at Pierce before the man could fire another shot at the men Mark hoped were still alive. Having drawn the fire of the other two outlaws, Mark dove for cover behind a boulder and started returning fire, making each shot count. Just as the last of the three men fell, a shot rang out behind Mark, hitting him in the shoulder.

Before he could think to do any differently, Mark turned around and fired.

22MC22

Lucas raced Razor to town, not allowing his horse to stop before he jumped down and ran into Micah's office, not realizing several other men were standing there.

"Lucas-Boy, what are you-"

"Micah, I don't have time, Mark needs help. He's out where the decoy stage was headed, and he's up against men that have Joanna!"

"How'd she get-" Tom started to ask, but was interrupted.

"I don't know, but Mark's out there by himself!"

Several men ran from the office and were soon riding from town. The whole way there, Lucas prayed for Mark to be alright. He kicked himself for letting Mark go by himself, but he also knew it was what his son had asked him to do. They arrived at the entrance to the canyon to find BlueBoy ground tied and no sign of Mark.

They rode through the canyon, which was much too quiet for anyone's liking. As they came over a rise, they caught sight of the still stagecoach, then the bodies scattered across the ground. Lucas's eyes finally found a still Mark, Joanna in his arms.

Jumping down from Razor, Lucas ran to his son and pulled him out from underneath the school teacher as Benton checked for Joanna's pulse.

"…She's dead," Tom mournfully stated. "…Mark…?"

"He's alive," Lucas breathed as he felt a pulse and saw the slight rise of his son's chest. "Thank God he's alive."

Feeling the moisture on his son's back, Lucas pulled his hand out to see it covered with blood.

"Tom, he's shot!" Lucas exclaimed as he saw the bullet wound. "We have to get him to town!"

"Help me carry him, we'll use the team."

Lucas got into the stage coach and waited for Tom to hand Mark up to him. As the two men worked, they were oblivious to the other men beginning to take care of the bodies.

As Tom got in the driver's seat and started to drive the stage towards town, Lucas unbuttoned his shirt and used it to try to stop the blood that continued to come from his son's shoulder. Lucas held Mark tight the whole way into town, praying he wouldn't have to bury his son.

Benton pulled the team to a stop in front of the clinic and jumped down from the driver's seat before helping Lucas carry Mark out of the stage and into the clinic. Doc opened the door and allowed the men to carry the deputy into the back room. When they explained he was shot in the back of his shoulder, Burrage asked the men to turn Mark on his stomach so he could get the bullet out. Seeing the profuse bleeding, Doc didn't take time to worry about making sure Mark was unconscious and started on the wound right away. Lucas and Tom just stood there, waiting and watching as the doctor worked to save the young man's life. What seemed to Lucas to be an eternity was only fifteen minutes before Doc had retracted the bullet, stopped the bleeding, and was beginning to close up the wound. The worried father anxiously waited for the physician to finish before asking the question that had been plaguing him for hours.

"Will he be alright?"

"I think so, Luke."

"You think so?!" Tom boomed, almost as worried as Lucas.

"I think so," the doctor repeated. "Time will tell. He lost a lot of blood, but it wasn't as deep or serious as the last time. Now Lucas, I know you're worried, but sitting here isn't going to help matters. It'll be a while yet before he comes around. And I don't want your heart-"

"My heart's fine!"

"I think the two of you need to go over to Sweeney's. Lucas, you need to cool down before your son wakes."

"Come on, Luke," Benton said as he relaxed some and slapped his friend's shoulder. "I'll buy you a drink."

Benton pulled Lucas from the office and led him to the saloon where they sat down at a corner table. Tom went to the bar and ordered them two beers, and upon returning to the table, he followed Lucas's line of vision out the window and down the street.

"He'll be fine, Lucas," Tom tried to assure. "Mark's like you. He's strong."

"Tom…" Lucas sighed as he ran his hand through his hair. "Why does the man I raised my son to be have to end up getting shot every time I turn around? What did I do wrong?"

"Lucas, you know as well as I do that you didn't do anything wrong. You raised your son right and that was why he was out there today. That's why he got shot. You can't blame yourself for this one, Lucas. If you're going to blame anyone, blame me. I'm the one that dragged him into this mess…" The guilt could be heard in the man's voice.

"No, Tom," Lucas stated as he shook his head. "This isn't your fault, either. Mark was… he was doing his job." Lucas bit his lip and fought the tears as he continued, "And that… that I'm proud of. I'll always be proud of. But as a parent… I can't help but wonder if I wasn't doing my job. If I should've gone with him instead of coming to town… if I…" Lucas stopped and shook his head as a tear rolled down his cheek, followed by a broken chuckle. "You know, when Mark was a boy, he often felt bad when he was around and something happened, because he knew there were certain things I wouldn't try because he was present. I tried again and again to assure him that nothing was ever his fault, but now I understand how he felt. They used me against him, Tom. And I could see the fear and the turmoil in Mark's eyes that I had felt so many times before. He couldn't act as he might have wanted, because I was there. And I… I was a hindrance to him, Tom. If I hadn't been there…"

"If you hadn't been there, Mark might have done something stupid and gotten himself killed. And you weren't a hindrance to him, Lucas. Mark has chosen to love and respect you and that was his doing. I'm not saying I blame him for wanting to protect you, I'm just saying that was his choice, and not yours, and you can't blame yourself. Luke, we all have an Achilles' heel. They found Mark's in you and Joanna. If it hadn't been the two of you, it would have been someone else. But don't sit here and beat yourself up over the fact that you have a son that loves you and I'm sure would take a bullet for you. Lucas, I'd give anything for the relationship you and Mark have. Don't destroy that by getting so bogged down in your fears that you try to shut your son out."

Lucas slowly nodded, his throat too tight to voice a reply.

The men continued to wait, Benton slowly sipping on his beer as Lucas's mug sat untouched in front of him. A long while had passed when Benton saw the group of men returning from the posse.

"Luke, I'm sorry, but I got to help take care of this mess…"

"I forgot all about that… is… "he" still coming?"

"No, we caught wind that someone was onto our plans and sent him another way, still keeping a decoy stage in hopes of catching the conspirators. You should be proud of your son, Lucas, he's done the United States and her territories a great service."

23MC23

Mark woke, confused by his surroundings. As he looked around the room and saw Lucas sitting in the chair, he remembered what had happened. He remembered too much of what had happened.

Using his good arm, Mark threw the covers off himself and painfully got out of bed. Seeing a clean shirt waiting for him on the empty chair in the room, Mark put his left arm through the sleeve and draped the other half of the shirt over his slinged shoulder. Quietly, Mark slipped from the room and then out of the back door of the clinic.

As Mark stepped outside, he realized it was too early for anyone else to be up and was grateful for it. Mark walked to the hotel and slipped behind the desk, retrieving a key to a hotel room. He quietly went upstairs and down the hall, and stopped in front of what used to be Miss Pierce's room. Mark slowly put the key inside the lock and opened the door; fighting the tears that were threatening to fall down his face.

A wave of emotion overcame Mark as he stepped inside the room. With tears now streaming down his face, Mark began his search until finally finding what he was looking for in the bottom drawer of the dresser. Mark left the room and locked the door behind him before returning the key to its place.

As the sun was just beginning to rise above North Fork, Lucas was alarmed to find his son missing. Grabbing his rifle and running to the waiting room where Doc had fallen asleep at his desk, the rancher urgently tried to rouse the doctor.

"Lucas, what's the matter? Is it Mark?"

"It's Mark, but he's missing!"

"Missing?" Doc asked incredulously as he walked to the room Mark was supposed to be in. "Where could he have gone? Why would he leave?"

"I don't know, but he's gone!"

"Maybe he went over to the office, let's check with Micah."

The two men left the clinic and ran to the marshal's office, Lucas far ahead of the doctor. He entered to find Micah and Tom sitting at the desk, talking.

"Have either of you seen Mark?" Lucas worriedly asked.

"Mark?" Micah questioned. "Mark's missing?"

"He wasn't in Doc's office this morning!"

"We'll help you look for him, Lucas." Tom offered as he and Micah stood.

The four men left the office and spread out to start their search for Mark, agreeing to meet back at the office in half an hour. Lucas looked everywhere he could think of; the hotel, the livery, the general store, the church… but Mark was nowhere to be seen. As he entered Micah's office again, Lucas could hear Doc asking, "If someone else was involved with the conspiracy, could they have taken Mark from town?"

"Tom?" Lucas worriedly asked.

"…I don't think so. If that were the case… it would be more likely that they would have just killed Mark at the office. He might have left town of his own accord, but…"

"BlueBoy's still at the livery," Micah and Lucas both informed as they shook their heads.

"Well where-" Benton stopped as an idea came to him. "Did anyone check the school teacher's room?"

Lucas was the first one out of the office followed by the three other men.

"Any sign of him?" Lou asked as Lucas entered the hotel.

"No, but do you have a key to Joanna's room?"

"Yes… I do…" Lou replied as she retrieved the key and handed it to Lucas. "Cowboy, he's gotta be hurtin' somethin' fierce."

"I know, Lou. I know…"

Lucas ran up the stairs, taking two steps at a time. He entered the hotel room, his heart sinking when he realized the room was empty.

"Micah, I don't understand," Lucas said as he turned towards his friend. "Where could he be? Where did he go?"

"He'll turn up, Lucas-Boy. Maybe you should check back at Doc's."

Lucas and Doc Burrage returned to the clinic to find it still empty. Not knowing what else to do, Lucas told Doc he was going to ride around some and look for Mark. As Lucas started to enter the livery, he bumped into Nils who was just coming out.

"Lucas, I'm glad you're here. When you dropped by earlier I hadn't seen Mark, but I was just going up to the hayloft to feed the horses and I saw him up there. He's asleep, and… I couldn't disturb him. I think… I think he's gonna need you."

"Thanks, Nils."

Lucas walked inside as Nils walked away from the building to give father and son the privacy he knew they would need.

Lucas climbed the ladder to the hayloft. As he caught sight of his son, Lucas's heart broke. Tears still fell from Mark's closed eyes and landed on what Lucas knew had to be Joanna's diary. Lucas walked to his son and knelt down beside Mark as he gently shook Mark's shoulder.

"Mark…?" Lucas called.

Mark opened his eyes and closed the book he held in his hand before wiping away the tears from his face. He started to get up, but Lucas gently pushed him back down.

"it's alright, Mark, we can talk."

Mark closed his eyes and swallowed as he shook his head. "I don't want to talk."

"Son, I know how it feels. You need to talk."

A cold, angry look flashed in Mark's eyes, confusing Lucas.

"Mark-"

"I don't need to talk, Pa! Leave me alone!"

"Son, let me help you," Lucas tried to encourage.

"You can't fix this, Pa! No one can! Just leave me alone!"

Mark stood and walked past his father before struggling down the ladder. Lucas quickly followed and tried to stop Mark as he tried to saddle BlueBoy with just one good arm.

"Leave me alone!" Mark yelled again.

"Mark, you need to go back to Doc's and let him look at your shoulder," Lucas firmly stated as he took the saddle from his son.

"I'm fine!" Mark tore past Lucas and out the back door of the livery.

Setting the saddle down, Lucas ran after his son, quickly catching up with Mark. Lucas grabbed his son's good shoulder and turned him around, Mark's shirt barely hanging from his shoulder.

"Mark! You need to see Doc, you opened your wound," Lucas said, having seen the blood on his son's bandage.

"It'll heal!"

"Mark you are going to Doc's whether you like it or not. If you insist on acting like a child, I will carry you over there like a child."

The defiance in Mark's eyes slowly diminished as he realized how much of his anger he was taking out on his Pa.

"I'm sorry, Pa," Mark quietly spoke.

Lucas draped Mark's shirt back over his injured shoulder and walked back to the clinic with Mark, worriedly looking his son over.

"Lucas, you found him," Doc said with relief as the two men entered the office.

"He opened his wound, Doc."

"Mark, come back to the room and I'll fix it up for you."

Mark complied without saying a word and Lucas watched as the Doctor unbandaged Mark's shoulder. He threaded a needle and put more stitches in before wrapping Mark's shoulder again.

"How does that feel?"

"Fine."

"I'll get you something for the pain."

"I don't need it, I'm fine."

"Now, Mark, I've been shot in the shoulder before, and I know you're going to need it."

"I want to feel the pain."

Lucas worriedly looked to the doctor who held the same expression on his face.

"…Mark, why don't you try to get some rest? I'm sure you'll feel better after you've gotten some sleep."

"I've slept long enough."

"Mark-"

"Doc, could you give us a few minutes, please?" Lucas asked.

"Sure, Luke. I'm right outside if you need me."

As the door shut behind the doctor, Lucas again looked at his son in concern.

"Mark, I know it hurts. But you just can't block everyone out. And you can't put yourself through this misery. I know you don't want to talk to it right now, but-"

"Pa?"

Lucas could hear the agitation in his son's voice and waited for Mark to go on.

"You've said yourself that there are times when a man needs to be alone. This is one of those times and I'd appreciate it if you would just leave me be."

As hard as it was, Lucas slowly nodded and walked towards the door.

"Mark, when you're ready… I'll be here for you."

Mark didn't answer, but just kept staring at the wall. Lucas let out a defeated sigh and left the room.

"Lucas?" Doc called.

"This is going to be a long few weeks…" the rancher sighed in response. "Doc, I'm going to let everyone else know he's back here."

"Alright, Luke."

Lucas left the office and stopped by the hotel to tell Lou that they had found Mark. When she asked how he was doing, Lucas just told her that he was taking it hard. Next, Lucas went to the office to tell Micah and Tom.

"Do you think he might be able to answer some questions later?" Tom asked.

"No!" Lucas then relaxed and took a seat. "I'm sorry, Tom. He's in no state to be answering questions. To say he's grief stricken would be an understatement. Please, don't push him."

"Sorry, Lucas, I shouldn't have asked. He can write a report and send it to me later, when he's ready. How long had he and the teacher known each other?"

"About two months," Lucas replied, "But I have a feeling that if I wasn't around, he might have asked her to marry him about a month ago."

"Lucas, where'd you find him?" Micah asked.

"Nils found him, up in the hayloft at the livery. He was up there asleep, but he'd been reading what I am pretty sure must have been Joanna's diary. Micah… if you could've seen the anger… the hurt in his eyes… and when we got back to Doc's… he said he didn't want any medicine for the pain. He said he needed to feel it…"

"It'll be hard for him, Lucas-Boy, but he'll make it through this. You both will." Micah slightly paused before reaching behind the desk and handing Lucas Mark's .22 rifle. "Lucas, why was he out there without his Winchester?"

"I'm not sure… he had said something about going after someone who had Joanna before he came by the house. After we broke free he ran and got his .22. I guess whoever he was chasing after made Mark give up his rifle."

After talking to his two friends for a while longer, Lucas returned to the clinic to find an exasperated Doc Burrage at his desk.

"I'm sorry, Lucas, I tried…"

"You tried? What happened?"

"I tried convincing him to stay put, but he said he couldn't. Luke, it's like he's out of his head. He said I had no right to keep him here and he'd throw me in jail if I tried to."

"Where'd he go?"

"Probably back to the livery."

"Thanks, Doc, and I'm sorry."

"It's his grief talking, Lucas, don't apologize."

Lucas hurried to the livery to find Nils saddling Mark's horse, Mark insisting he could saddle it himself.

"Mark, what are you doing?" Lucas asked.

"I can't stay here any longer, I'm going home."

"Mark, you shouldn't be riding in your con-"

"I was shot in the shoulder; my leg didn't fall off. I can ride home just fine and I don't need anybody's help. I'm going back to the ranch, away from everyone else, away from people I can hurt. And if you know what's good for you, you'll stay away from me so you don't get hurt, too."

"Mark, Son, you're not thinking rationally."

Mark took the reins from Nils and struggled to get up in the saddle.

"Mark, you can't just run away from this."

"I can for now."

Lucas and Nils watched in shock as Mark kicked BlueBoy and left the livery. As Mark rode down the street, he urged BlueBoy faster and faster until he was out of their sight.

24MC24

After giving Mark a few hours, Lucas rode to the ranch. He finished taking care of Razor and went inside the house to find Mark sitting at the table, staring into the fire. Lucas walked to the table and ever so slowly sat down across from his son, still trying to find the words to say.

"Mark…"

"Pa, please," Mark whispered, still staring into the fire. "I don't want to talk about it. I'm asking you to please leave this one alone."

Lucas looked at his son for a long time, wishing he knew how to get through to him. Knowing… knowing he couldn't make Mark talk to him.

"I guess I don't really have a choice right now."

Mark stood and Lucas watched as his son tried to start making dinner. With no more than a few words between them, father and son prepared the meal and ate before Mark disappeared into the bedroom.

Sleep came easily to Mark that night, even though it was fitful. …But Lucas was wide awake until the early hours of the morning, desperately worried about his son. He remembered the weeks following Margaret's death… how lost and alone he had felt. But there was a part of her in Mark that saw him through the grief. Lucas remembered his father trying to get through to him… he remembered reacting much like Mark was.

Sleep finally did come; however, when Lucas woke he found that Mark was gone. When he checked the barn, Lucas saw that some of the chores were done and BlueBoy was absent from his stall. Worried about his son and upset that Mark was overdoing it, Lucas saddled Razor and looked around the ranch for several hours before giving in and returning to the homestead. When he arrived, he found Micah dismounting.

"Micah, what brings you out here?"

"Lou was concerned when the two of you didn't show for church or the funeral today. I tried telling her it was to be expected, but she was still worried so I figured I'd swing by and check up on the two of you. How's Mark?"

"I wish I knew…" Lucas mumbled as he dismounted. "…It's not good, Micah. He won't talk to me and this morning he was gone before I was up. He even tried doing some of the barn chores and I know that can't be good for him."

"Give him time, Lucas-boy."

"I know, Micah… but… I can't stand seeing him like this. He's shutting down… there's absolutely no life in his eyes and… and I can see the pain he's in. Not just from losing Joanna, but all last night I watched him grimace in pain from the bullet wound."

"He's still refusing to take the medicine?"

"And I don't know what to do. I'm his father, I should know how to handle this…"

"Lucas, no father should have to be going through what you are. No man should have to be going through what Mark is going through. It's going to just take time. You know Mark. When he's ready, he'll talk to you. But you can't try to force it out of him."

"I know. You want to come in for something to eat?"

"Thanks, Lucas."

Micah stuck around for a while before realizing he needed to get back to town. Lucas walked him outside and after Micah mounted up, he pulled a badge from his shirt pocket and tossed it to Lucas.

"I forgot, Doc found this over at the clinic. Would you give it to Mark for me?"

"Sure thing." Lucas waved goodbye to Micah as his friend headed back to town.

The sun had set a long time before Lucas finally saw Mark coming through the front door. He looked absolutely exhausted and Lucas could see the strain in his son's face.

"Mark, where'd you go?"

"Just to ride," Mark replied with a shrug.

"…You shouldn't have worried about the chores this morning. You'll have plenty of time to do that once your shoulder is healed."

Mark didn't answer, but headed towards the bedroom.

"Mark," Lucas called, causing Mark to turn around. "Micah brought your badge back this afternoon."

Mark caught the badge and looked at it for a few moments before turning around and walking inside the bedroom.

The next several mornings repeated the events of Sunday. Mark would wake long before Lucas and try to get some of the chores done before riding out. Lucas worked on the range and in the barn until late afternoon and had supper alone. Mark would return home well after dark and go to bed with few words said between him and Lucas. By the end of the week, Lucas had just about all he could take.

Friday evening Lucas paced the front room, waiting for Mark to get home; still trying to decide what he was going to say to his son. He had run so many conversations through his mind, anticipating Mark's reactions, trying to find a way to counter those reactions… but in the end, Lucas still wasn't sure if he would ever get through to his son.

A knock at the door interrupted Lucas's thoughts. He answered it and was soon letting Micah inside, a look on Micah's face he couldn't identify.

"Micah? What's wrong?"

"This is what's wrong," Micah said as he pulled Mark's badge from his back pocket. "When I got back to the office tonight after making the rounds, I found this with Mark's letter of resignation! I won't accept it, Lucas. He's too fine a lawman!"

"What do you want me to do Micah?" Lucas asked as he crossed his arms. "I can't even get my son to speak to me, there's nothing I can do about him taking his badge back! And right now, him quitting his job is the least of my worries! He hardly eats, he's not sleeping well, he's trying to do too much work around here, and I can't even think of the last time I saw him touch his rifle!"

"Well I-" Micah stopped as he started to realize something. "He won't touch his… oh, Lucas-boy… we should've known better. It was staring at us the whole time…"

"What was staring at us? What are you talking about, Micah?"

"Mark's been my deputy for over a year and a half now. It was bound to happen sooner or later, but Lucas, three outlaws died out there. Maybe the men driving the stage killed one, or maybe even two, but we don't know exactly what happened, and Lucas, there's no chance Mark made it through that without killing someone. You remember what it was like after you killed your first man. And yes, there was Charlie… but that was an accident. This time, Mark deliberately aimed and shot at someone, with the intention of taking their life, and… Lucas, we should've known Mark would be grieving that, too. Outlaw or not… he took a man's life."

"You're right, Micah… I should've known. I should've put the pieces together… I was just so caught up in him losing Joanna that I didn't even think about the men that died."

"Neither did I, Lucas." Micah sighed as he shook his head. "I'm sorry for barging in here and yelling at you like I did, Lucas. You and Mark just mean so much to me and I hate to see Mark like this. I can't believe he really wants to give up the badge, but I'd believe he's scared enough to do it…"

"I'm sorry for yelling, too. When the time's right, I'll talk to Mark about the badge."

"Let me know if there's anything I can do, Lucas-boy."

"I will."

Lucas saw Micah out the door before collapsing into his chair in the front room. He continued to think as the hours passed, but before long he couldn't fight exhaustion any longer and fell asleep.

Lucas woke the next morning and realized Mark still hadn't returned home. Not knowing what else to do, Lucas set to making breakfast, alone, like he had every morning that week. Finally, Lucas heard Mark coming through the front door.

"Mark, where did you go last night?"

"…I stayed overnight at the hotel."

"The hotel?" Lucas asked in confusion. "Why on earth would you stay there?"

"I knew Micah would be headed here," Mark answered as he pointed to the badge on the kitchen table. "…Can I help?"

Surprised, but glad Mark seemed to be making an effort, Lucas nodded and asked Mark to watch the eggs while he set the table.

Mark attempted to make small, quiet conversation as they made and ate breakfast. He could sense something different about his Pa, but couldn't put his finger on it… until they had finished eating.

"Mark, I know you don't want to talk about it, but-"

"Pa, please! I'm trying to adjust, why can't you just leave it alone?!"

"Mark, Micah and I were talking last night and we realized, well that there was a lot more than Joanna that you were… are dealing with. Mark, I'm sorry I wasn't there for you and I didn't realize that… that you would be needing to talk about the men that died, too."

"Pa, you don't understand!" Mark yelled as he stood. "No one can!"

"I can't understand what, Mark? Killing people? You know I've killed more men than I care to count! I don't understand losing the woman I love? Last time I checked, I lost your mother- my wife after nine years of marriage! What don't I understand?!"

"You don't understand what happened out there!"

"Then make me understand, Mark! I want to understand! Just start somewhere!"

"Start somewhere!?" Mark demanded. "Just where do you want me to start?! The fact that two good men died because I couldn't get there fast enough!? The fact that I killed three men?! That you could've died because I fell in love?! Do you want me to start with the fact that she shot me, or that I shot her?!"

Lucas stared at Mark in shock as his son turned around and ran from the house. Lucas watched through the open door as Mark tripped down the porch steps and fell to the ground. Running to his son's side, Lucas tried to help his son up.

"Just leave me alone!" Mark yelled through the tears streaming down his face. "I can't live like this anymore! I can't- I can't…"

With tears falling down his own face, Lucas wrapped his arms around his son and let Mark fall back against his chest.

"I can't…" Mark sobbed again, oblivious to Lucas's presence.

Unable to voice any words, Lucas just held his son in his arms. Finally finding his voice, Lucas managed to whisper, "You can, Mark. You can make it through this. We'll find a way and we'll make it through this…"

Lucas lost all track of time as he sat in front of their home with his son in his arms. Eventually Mark quieted, and Lucas looked down to realize that exhaustion had overtaken Mark and that he had drifted off to sleep.

Picking Mark up, Lucas carried Mark into the house and set him on the couch before draping a blanket over his son. Lucas sat in his chair and watched as Mark slept.

Questions plagued him, but most of all, his heart broke for his son. Mark was right… he didn't understand. He couldn't understand. He couldn't even imagine… imagine… shooting the one he loved. He couldn't imagine keeping all that locked up inside for nearly a week, and he couldn't imagine the amount of pain and grief his son was experiencing.

"God… help me know what to do…"

25MC25

Mark woke, temporarily confused by his surroundings. His eyes fell on Lucas who had fallen asleep in his chair and Mark remembered what had happened… he remembered finally admitting what he had done.

Throwing the blanket off himself, Mark stood and walked out to the back porch where he slid down a post and sat, looking up at the sky. He thought through everything that had taken place. All the lies, all the deception, all the heartbreak…

Tears shamelessly fell down the deputy's face.

Mark finally heard heavy footsteps on the porch behind him. Wiping away the tears that sat on his cheeks, Mark turned towards Lucas as the tall rancher sat across from his son.

"Mark… I'm sorry I pushed. You need to talk about it, but not until you're ready. I'm done pushing."

Mark closed his eyes as another tear ran down his cheek and fell onto the porch. Taking in a deep breath, Mark opened his eyes and looked up at the sky before letting it out and turning back to Lucas.

"You were right to push, Pa. I needed to be pushed."

Lucas quietly sat, giving his son time to collect his thoughts.

"I was so ashamed of what happened… I couldn't face you… I couldn't face anyone. I wanted to talk about it… but I was too scared. I guess I was hoping you would push me enough so I could just get it all out there at once… and you did." More tears steadily fell down Mark's face as he spoke, "Pa, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have gotten so close… I shouldn't have gotten so involved… and that could've cost you your life."

When Mark didn't go on, Lucas asked, "Mark, why don't you start from the beginning?"

"No, not the beginning," Mark said, shaking his head. "I can't start there. I have to start at the end."

"The end?" Lucas asked in confusion.

Mark nodded as he took in a deep breath, trying to organize the last of his thoughts.

"I couldn't understand why Pierce was holding his own sister hostage…" Seeing the confusion in Lucas's eyes, Mark explained, "One of the men that was involved was Joanna's brother. He had taken her from school Friday morning and I trailed after them. I found him… well, he found me, but I didn't see Joanna anywhere. I was worried, but then he brought you into the picture and said I needed to be worrying about my own family. I was honestly torn, Pa. I didn't know if he was just bluffing or if he had done something to you, but he had a gun so it made my decision to forget about Joanna for a little while somewhat easier. There wasn't anything I could do, and I couldn't be there for both of you. I got back here, and you know what happened. But I guess what you don't know is that I had already seen the two that beat you up in town last week, in the middle of a brawl at Sweeney's. They looked familiar, but I couldn't place them until the next morning. They were the two that came back and shot me when I was riding with the posse. …Anyway, the two of them and Joanna's brother, Connor Pierce, were all waiting for the stage in the canyon. I wasn't in close enough rage when I first caught sight of them and I heard the stage coming so I started running… but not fast enough. They shot the men out of their seats. I aimed and fired at Pierce. He fell. I… I killed a man."

There were several moments of silence before Lucas interjected.

"Son, you had no choice."

Mark slowly nodded before going on, "Then the other two turned and started firing at me. I dove for cover and returned fire… killing both of them. …No sooner had the last man fallen then I heard a shot behind me and felt the pain in my shoulder. I didn't think… I just acted. It was pure instinct. I turned around and I fired… and my stomach dropped when I realized I had shot Joanna. I stumbled towards her and I took her in my arms. Apologizing over and over again… telling her I didn't know it was her. All she said was, "I'm sorry," before her eyes rolled back into her head. I tried in vain to get her to come around, but she... she was gone. And... as I started to lose consciousness, all I could think about was how she had tried to shoot one of the men to save me… and I killed her. But… but then I woke up at Doc's. And I remembered what had happened… and questions I didn't want to think about wouldn't leave me alone. Again, I was wondering why Connor would take his own sister hostage. It made absolutely no sense. Then I wondered why Joanna was at the canyon; why she wasn't tied up somewhere. And then… and then I wondered… why did she have a gun? I didn't want to face the answers to those questions… but I knew I had to. So I left Doc's and went to the hotel and got the key to Joanna's room. I knew she kept a diary… and I knew that was where I was going to find answers. I took it up to the hayloft and read. And it wasn't just diary entries. She had letters tucked in there too. But everything I read… Pa… I've… I've never felt so betrayed… so vulnerable… so… stupid in my entire life. I couldn't believe what I was reading. There were pages and pages of letters and notes in that book about me, about you, about members of the town council. Anything and everyone related to North Fork. Some of it was from before she came to town, some of it after."

"But why?"

"Pa, Joanna… she… she was part of an organization that wants to see the government overthrown and the confederacy started again. I couldn't gather everything from what I found, but I think they had a contact somewhere in the government and… and they've been planning this for almost three months. They found out the president was coming to New Mexico… and they did everything they could in an attempt to assassinate him. They got as much information as they could about North Fork when they found out he was coming through here, but… they needed someone on the inside."

"…Joanna?"

Mark slowly nodded. "When the bank was robbed, they didn't care about the money. They just wanted to put Stephan out of commission. Pa I was so stupid… all she had to do was bat her eyelashes and I fell for her… hard. Even the story about being born in Oklahoma and her father… it was all a big lie. And I believed it."

"You weren't stupid, Mark. She fooled all of us. It sounds like she had been playing this game for a long time… and you can't blame yourself for falling in love with a person… "created," so to speak, for you to fall in love with."

"But Pa… me falling in love with her was the reason you got dragged into the whole mess. She knew how close we were and she thought for sure I would've told you. So they staged her abduction to keep me from coming home, so they could get it out of you."

"Except I didn't know, and you came back, and you were able to give those criminals what they deserved."

"…But two good men died, and I would've rather seen everyone tried for their crimes."

"Son, you can't blame yourself. You were just one piece of a massive puzzle. They used all of us. And those men driving the stage coach chose to be there, they knew the risks. You did what you could, Mark, based on what you knew."

"Pa I… I'm so angry… and hurt… and… and confused."

"Confused about what?"

"She… she shot me in the back. And I still… somehow… Pa, why do I still love her?"

"Because love, Mark, true love, is never about what the other person does. It's about a choice you make to let that person… become a part of you, and let them take a part of your heart with them. And while you now know what Joanna really was… you still love who she pretended to be. And the hurt she caused you is going to take a long time to heal."

"Will it really ever heal, Pa?"

"It will take time, but it will. And one day you will find the one woman that was actually created for you, and you will settle down, and get married, and I hope to one day see little McCain feet running across this porch."

There was a long pause as Mark looked out across the land, then back at Lucas.

"…Me too, Pa. Me too." Mark let out a heavy sigh as he started to stand. "Pa, would you mind if we rode into town? I think Micah would appreciate hearing the whole story."

"As long as you really think you're alright."

"I will be, Pa," Mark said with a nod. "Just as soon as we get to Doc's and get some of that pain medication; my shoulder is killing me."

"Come on, Son," Lucas laughed as he slapped Mark's good shoulder. "Let's go."

After stopping at Doc's for the medicine, Lucas and Mark headed to Micah's office where Mark gave Micah a long, detailed explanation of what had really been going on. Micah was beside himself at the information Mark divulged, but tried to not react, seeing how hard it was for Mark to be talking about everything that had happened.

"Micah, I do have one request," Mark said after he had finished explaining. "…I'd prefer if we keep this between the three of us, and Tom, of course. Joanna's… well she's buried and… and I don't see much reason to tell everyone what she really was. I don't think… I don't think I could take everyone else knowing."

"I won't say a word," Micah promised. "Now about the letter of resignation you left on my desk. Mark, I know you really didn't mean what you said…"

"I don't know if I meant it or not, Micah. Doc won't let me stand shift for a few weeks anyway and… and I have a lot I need to sort through. I'm not sure… I'm not sure if I can put that badge on again and face the people of North Fork as their deputy, knowing that my judgement of character… or lack thereof, could have resulted in the assassination of the president… under different circumstances."

"But there weren't different circumstances, Mark," Lucas tried to tell his son.

"I know, but… Micah, Pa… please give me a few weeks. This is something I really do need to figure out on my own."

Lucas slowly nodded as Micah reluctantly agreed.

"Alright, Mark. Just know if I get beat up over at Sweeney's it's your fault…" Micah quipped.

"Don't worry, I think we took care of that problem weekend before last."

Over the next several weeks, Lucas tried to give Mark time and tried not to bring up deputing. However, he couldn't completely avoid the subject. When he would hint around at it, Mark would simply say he was still thinking about it.

The day before thanksgiving, Mark rode to town for Lucas and picked up some ingredients they had run out of at the ranch. After dropping by the general store, Mark stopped by the hotel to say hello to Lou.

"Well, if it isn't North Fork's favorite deputy," Lou gleefully greeted from behind the desk.

"Lou, I'm not a deputy anymore, you know that."

"I've never known a McCain ta back down from a challenge, and I can't see ya doin' that now. You'll come around. Mark, this town needs ya."

"Are you and Micah still coming out to the ranch tomorrow?"

"We certainly are, though I do wish you and your Pa would let me help with somethin'."

"It's alright, we've got it all taken care of. I better be getting back and give Pa a hand."

"Oh, Mark, I almost forgot." Lou turned around and grabbed an envelope before handing it to Mark. "This came in for ya a few days ago."

"Thanks, Lou," Mark answered as he accepted the letter. "I'll see you tomorrow."

"Have a good day."

Mark left the hotel and looked for the return address on the envelope. It was from a Mary Huntington of Las Cruces. Mark wondered if it was a friend of his Pa's, but it was addressed to him… "Deputy Mark McCain." Mark was just getting ready to open the letter when he heard someone calling his name. He looked up to see Stephan Griswold walking towards him.

"Afternoon, Mr. Griswold," Mark greeted. "What can I do for you?"

"Mark, I'm glad I ran into you. The children have today and the rest of the week off and I decided to get caught up on some extra work at the schoolhouse. I was cleaning out some old drawers and I came upon a project Miss Pierce had assigned to the students. I think you might be interested in seeing that assignment."

"What is it?" Mark asked.

"I think you best see for yourself," Griswold replied with a smile. "I have some errands to attend to, but the school is unlocked and the assignments I am referring to are on the top of my desk, you will see them. Have a good day!"

Before Mark could ask any questions, Stephan briskly walked away. His curiosity had been piqued, but… he hadn't been back to the school since Joanna died. Mark stood debating with himself until he finally gave in and walked to the school. He stopped in front of the schoolhouse doors, taking in a deep breath as he stepped inside. To his surprise, there wasn't an overwhelming sense of anything when he entered the building. It was finally back to just being the school… not a part of his ordeal with Joanna.

Mark walked to the desk and sat down in the chair as he picked up the stack of papers. He read the title of the first paper, now remembering Joanna telling him about this project. "Who I Want to be Like when I Grow Up…"

Mark read through several of the papers, smiling at the idea that several of the boys had picked him as their subject. Joanna was right, they had been watching him, but for the most part, Mark simply saw boyhood excitement about wearing a badge. …Until he reached Jeffery Turner's paper.

'Who I Want to be Like when I Grow Up, by Jeffery Turner,' Mark read to himself. 'All throughout history, there have been powerful, great men. Presidents, kings, generals, and many men like them. They hold a title that demands respect and displays authority, but in the end, it's never the title that counts. In the end, once their term of office is ended, once they retire from the military, or pass their crown on to the next in line, their title, "who they were," then disappears, and all that is left is the character that man had. When I think about who I want to be like when I grow up, I try not to think about what they do for a job or how exciting their life seems to be, because in the end, none of that really lasts. When I think about the man I want to be like when I grow up, I think of his honor, his courage, and his loyalty. Those three words, honor, courage, and loyalty, are exactly what I see when I look at the man I want to be like: Deputy Mark McCain.

Deputy McCain may hold a title, but as a man of integrity, he knows that the title, "deputy," is merely a word. He lives his life displaying exactly what a deputy should be: reliable, trustworthy, and a true gentleman; but that is because he was those things before he put on a badge. I've known Deputy McCain my whole life, and as I got older, I watched him become a man. I've watched him and his Pa go through some pretty rough things, but he never gave up. When I grow up, that's exactly the type of man I want to be. I want to be a man that respects authority, and a man that knows when to take leadership. A man that acts like a man, but never acts too old to relate with the younger generation. A man that takes a bullet in the line of duty, and is willing to put his badge back on again. A man that is confident in himself, but never too full of pride to ask for help. A man that doesn't ignore his mistakes, but learns from them and allows those mistakes to shape him. No matter what I do when I grow up, I want to be just like Deputy Mark McCain.'

Mark leaned back in the chair as he placed the paper back on his former teacher's desk. Not sure what to make of it, Mark sat at the desk for a long time until finally getting up and leaving the school. He knew what the voice inside of him was telling him to do, but instead, he rode back to the ranch.

That evening after he had finished helping Lucas with the dishes, Mark sat in the front room as Lucas sat at the table working on the books. Remembering the letter he had received earlier, Mark pulled the envelope out and opened it.

'Dear Deputy McCain,

My name is Mary Huntington, which probably has no meaning to you. However, you may remember my little boy, Josiah, who you so graciously "deputized," on a train from Albuquerque in August. I hope you don't mind me asking the conductor about you, but once I explained why I wanted your information, he agreed to tell me who you were and where you were from.

Deputy McCain, two weeks before you met my son, his father was killed in a mining accident. We were on that train traveling in order to move in with my sister. I could never get out of Josiah what exactly was said between the two of you, but Deputy, you gave me my little boy back. After the accident, Josiah became afraid of everyone and everything. I could hardly get him to talk, let alone smile much or play with other children. After our meeting on that train, my son was a completely different person. The only thing I could get from him was that you had said it was alright to be scared, as long as you faced your fears. I could never have gotten through to my boy as you have, and am sincerely grateful for the time you spent talking to my son. You are a good man, Deputy McCain, and the world needs more lawmen like yourself. Men who have a healthy amount of fear, and a whole lot of courage. Men who are never too proud to help someone in need; men who are willing to do the right thing, even when they don't have to.

Eternally grateful,

Mary Huntington.'

"Alright," Mark whispered, "I get it…"

"What?" Lucas called, looking up from his books.

"Nothin'. Just talking to myself."

26MC26

Mark saw Micah and Lou pull up in the buggy and went outside to greet them. He helped Lou down from the buggy before she headed inside.

"You mind taking care of the buggy, Mark?" Micah asked.

"No problem," Mark answered as he took the reins. "But could I talk to you for a minute in the barn?"

"Sure thing."

Micah followed Mark to the barn and where Mark started to take care of the horse.

"Micah, I owe you an apology. It wasn't right for me to just quit like that, and I'm sorry."

"Mark, you were going through a lot, you don't need to apologize. I can understand how much pressure you felt because of the badge."

"The badge really had nothing to do with it though. I was scared of making another mistake. I was afraid of being a bad lawman. Of disappointing you, and Pa, and myself. Joanna did do a good job of acting, but I also let myself get much too close to her much too soon. I started worrying that I'd make the same mistake again and trust the wrong person. I didn't trust myself anymore to make good decisions as your deputy. I didn't trust myself to take care of the town."

"But?"

"But two boys reminded me that it's alright to make mistakes, as long as you learn from them. That it's alright to be scared, as long as you're willing to face what you're scared of. North Fork's my home and the people of North Fork are like my family. I want to do what I can to help protect them, even if I'm scared of messing up again."

"You never "messed up" in the first place, Mark."

"That's debatable, but I appreciate what you're saying. And I know I can learn from what happened and use it to make myself a better lawman, instead of leaving the fear inside of me un-faced."

"Well then, Deputy, how do you feel about watching "your" town tonight?"

"It'd feel good, Micah. Really good."

"I thought you'd say that."

Mark caught the object Micah had tossed him. A silver badge, with "DEPUTY" stamped on it.

"What's this?"

"Seeing as how you're coming up on two years as my deputy, I figured it was about time to give you something a little more… permanent than those two ounce stars."

"But how'd you know to bring it today?"

"Stephan told me about Jeffery's paper and… I had a feeling we'd be talking today."

"Thanks, Micah."

After the circuit preacher, the Grady's, and a few other towns folk arrived at the ranch, they started the thanksgiving meal. After everyone had left, Mark helped Lucas finish cleaning up. When they were done, Mark started out the front door.

"Where are you going, Mark?"

"Well I figure if I'm gonna stand shift tonight, I better get the barn chores done so I can get to town on time."

Lucas smiled as Mark left the house, then walked into the bedroom and retrieved a box from the closet. He waited for Mark to come back in and handed it to his son.

"What is it?"

"Seems no matter how old you get, I'm still picking up after you."

Confused, Mark lifted the lid of the box to see his Winchester rifle inside.

"But how…?"

"I went back looking for it, but I didn't want to push you. When I saw you and Micah talking this afternoon, I was pretty sure about what you were talking about, but I wasn't positive, so I waited until you said something. I don't think it'd look quite right, you walking the town with your .22."

"Thanks, Pa. It really means a lot."

"I'm proud of you, Son."

That night, Mark confidently walked the streets of North Fork, glad to be back where he belonged. After returning to the office, Mark tried to get Micah caught up on paperwork and finally gave up well after the street lamps had been lit.

Shortly after midnight, Mark was roused by a knock on the door. He opened it, and exchanged understanding looks with the person standing on the boardwalk. Grabbing his hat and rifle, Mark left the office and headed to Sweeney's.

— THE END —

For this story, I borrowed several characters from throughout the five seasons of, "The Rifleman."

Of course, Lucas and Mark McCain, starting their 168 episodes with, "The Sharpshooter."

Micah Torrence, the town marshal, was introduced in episode 4, "The Marshal."

Nils Swenson is the town's blacksmith. However, several different actors played him and his name has been spelled several different ways by the script writers. When I write my stories, I always envision Joe Higgins who began playing Nils in episode 100, "Dark Day at North Fork."

Doc Burrage was another regular character whose role was filled by several different actors. I usually envision Ralph Moody, but for this story, I'd go with Jack Kruschen who played Doc in episode 77, "Trail of Hate," and episode 82, "Baranca."

Lou Mallory owns the hotel and general store, and is introduced in episode 142, "Lou Mallory."

Lorrie is only mentioned in this story, but introduced in episode 168, "Old Tony." She has eyes for Mark.

John Hamilton, president of the bank, is first introduced in episode 8, "The Safe Guard."

Billy Davis and Stephan Griswold were both introduced in episode 86, "The Schoolmaster." Billy and Mark ditched school leading to Mark being trapped after a cave-in after the new teacher, Stephan Griswold, and Mark butt heads.

Freddy Toomey, another classmate, is credited in episode 23, "The Second Witness."

Senator Borden, again only mentioned, was in episode 149, "The Assailants." Mark saves the day with his slingshot and gets his first rifle in the next episode... maybe this is why Lucas finally realized Mark was old enough?

Sweeney owns the saloon and was also introduced in episode 4, "The Marshal."

Oat Jackford "welcomed" the McCains in episode 2, "Home Ranch," by trying to force Lucas off the land.

Amos Blaine was the telegraph clerk. Another character from episode 149, "The Assailants."

Tom Benton, Lucas's former army captain turned federal agent, is introduced in episode 74, "Meeting at Midnight."

Abby Stryker, a Deaf-mute, is introduced in episode 127, "The Quiet Fear," as the daughter of a friend of Lucas's. In the episode she meets Brice Hornsby and they are taken with each other. I've taken the liberty of assuming the two got married after Abby and her father returned to North Fork.

"The Rifleman" is owned by four-star productions. No copyright infringement meant. Written for entertainment purposes only with no intent or result of financial gain.