Creation began on 03-03-17

Creation ended on 03-07-17

Neon Genesis Evangelion

Sinful Reminders

Some would say that Gendo really despised his son for unjust reasons to not want anything to do with him aside from using him as a pilot for the Evangelion. Others would assume that he was just incapable of feeling any measure of affection or concern for him. But most were never aware of one thing about their opinions on the matter: They were absolutely right that there was no love for the boy from his old man.

In his office by himself, Gendo looked into his desk and pulled out a small, framed photo. It was of himself and Yui from before Second Impact, back when they had started with NERV's previous incarnation, GEHIRN. And then, she got hurt…and they both did something so wrong that all they could do was hope that nobody would ever find out, since the hospital they had been in was heavily damaged and the influx of refugees and patients was greater than the medical personnel that had been equally crippled by the devastation that leveled the majority of Tokyo.

She was dead, he thought, recalling the girl laying in the small cot, surrounded by people that were either already dead or dying from lack of medical treatment. She was probably all alone after what happened to her. It wasn't like we were hurting anyone.

Though, in every sense of the matter, this long-hidden secret would hurt one person if they ever found out. And now, because of some rumor that started with the brutality of the Fifth Angel and because some people just had to poke their noses in such a private matter, he had to make sure that the truth, no matter what happened, remained secret.

-x-

Ritsuko's grim expression after taking a more thorough look at Ms. Hitode's profile was a heavy one. As soon as she looked at the section where she listed her blood type, she wondered about the reliability of today's technology when it came to genetics.

AB-Negative? She thought, curious about how many people left in the nation had this rare blood type. She's the same as the Third Child. Is it a coincidence?

-x-

Fuyutsuki no longer had a curious mind about what he was finding out about after Dr. Akagi informed him of the additional tests she performed on the Third Child's blood samples. Now, he just wanted to know who this boy belonged to, and it certainly wasn't either the worst man he ever had an opinion on or his former student. While blood had been stated to be thicker than water, there was no blood between this widower and this young teen that had been looking for his acknowledgment. And the only person that knew anything was either going to confess to him…or he would cross a line of his own that would be full of regret.

"Ikari," he addressed Gendo, walking into his office. "What are you hiding about him?"

"What are you talking about?" Gendo questioned him.

"You know damn well what I'm talking about. The rumor is small, but the impact is heavy. Blood doesn't lie when you look at every layer of it. Who is Shinji and how'd you and Yui get him? Because he is clearly not your child."

"That is a private matter."

"Privacy is something that NERV infringes on all the time. Nobody is exempt from this. Now, you either tell me who he really is…or so help me, I will walk away from this after telling the boy you made pilot the Eva that you're not really his father. What do you think he will do after hearing that?"

Gendo wasn't threatened by his former professor, but had to say, "It's not for anyone, not even you, to know anything, Fuyutsuki."

"Except the belief that the Eva only works if the pilot's mother is deceased isn't much to believe in now. Not when one of the pilot's mother may not even be deceased if she's not even related to him. Who knows, maybe his mother is still alive."

"Unlikely. And even if he knew, he wouldn't walk away from NERV."

"Now, you don't know that. Who is he really and where did you get him from?"

-x-

It was decided by Ritsuko that there wouldn't be any direct testing with the Evas for the day after the incident with Unit-01 the previous day. Instead, the pilots would just have their synchronization scores measured in the testing plugs.

"So far, they're stable," went Maya to Ritsuko.

"We could drop the intensity by three percent," suggested Fusei, typing in random code segments on her console.

"If we do, we'd be going too easy on them," Ritsuko informed her.

"But if you push them too far, they can break from the strain. Children are not as resilient these days as they were years ago. If you break them, you're responsible for what they may do."

Misato, who was also present for the test, was impressed by Ms. Hitode's suggestion, but had to wonder where her suggestion came from, not knowing her well enough to understand if it came from a logical viewpoint or an emotional one.

"What do you do…when you're not here, Ms. Hitode?" She asked her.

"I volunteered part-time at a small clinic in Tokyo-2 two years ago when I was working towards my license to practice medicine. Currently, I'm pretty much no different from a medical intern. I live by the clock, the concept of time, with very little deviation, which is welcomed."

"Any kids?"

Fusei didn't speak for a short while; if Misato had read the woman's file, she would know that this woman's relatives were either dead or lived far from Tokyo-3.

"Never experienced the joy of having any," she then responded, but she sounded…almost as though she were heartbroken over answering.

"That's really sad, Ms. Hitode," they heard Shinji say to the woman.

"It's okay, though," she responded to him. "We live in a time where trying to have children today is a potential death sentence because of the Angels and other acts of terrorism. If I had any today, how would I know they'd be safe from harm?"

"I mean you no disrespect, Ms. Hitode, but you sound like the type of person that should have kids of your own," Shinji told her, which surprised Ritsuko, Misato, Asuka and Rei to hear him say this to someone he barely knew.

"No disrespect taken, Shinji," she responded again. "I appreciate your opinion."

-x-

This wasn't as extreme as what really caused Second Impact, but Fuyutsuki felt that Shinji deserved to know the truth, even if it meant Gendo was going to make sure he didn't say anything to the boy. He had threatened to walk away from NERV, and now he had to make sure that he made good on his word to tell Shinji the truth because Gendo certainly wasn't. Maybe it would cost him his life, but at least the boy would hear his final words and start to question his relationship with his parents, who he thought were his parents.

All he had to do now was find the boy and make sure he heard him.

"Sub-Commander Fuyutsuki," he heard Captain Katsuragi as he saw her in the hallway.

"Captain Katsuragi," he greeted her, "have you seen the Third Child?"

"Shinji? He's heading down to the cafeteria with Ms. Hitode. They agreed to have lunch today."

"Thank you."

He then walked past her, leaving her confused by his tone; it was like he was panicked or worried by something.

-x-

"…I didn't think you'd bring your own lunches while in here," said Fusei to Shinji as they sat at one of the tables next to a glass screen of falling water, seeing that the boy had brought a lunch with him.

"Yeah," he sighed. "Misato, my guardian, isn't exactly the type that can cook, and I've never seen Asuka do so, either. So it falls on me to prepare our meals."

"Sometimes, I try to prepare my meals for the next day in case I don't have the time to prepare on the same day I head out to work. The meals they have down here are anything but adequate."

"I know, and they smell stale. I don't understand how anyone can handle such a disgrace."

"Eh-heh! Years of practice is an example."

"So…how are you liking Tokyo-3 so far?"

"I have to say, it's not what I expected from a fortress city. I haven't explored the entirety of it yet, but some of the places I have seen just make it stand out as a place that… I don't want to sound cruel or old-fashioned, but I just find it difficult to believe that any would find it sane to live in a city that gets attacked every now and then. Of course, I'm not one to talk, having just relocated here, but…the government could've done better than this."

Shinji, raising his chopsticks up to his mouth to deposit a piece of dumpling into it, then set the sticks down and responded, "Yeah. The government could've done better. Even though I was told Tokyo-3 is a city I help to protect against the Angels…it would mean more to me if such praise came from my father."

Dumping ranch dressing onto her salad, Fusei uttered, "Your father? You…you mean, he has never praised you? For anything you do?"

"No, never."

"I mean, has anyone in your family ever acknowledged any of your attempts? Your success or failures? Graduating from school? Getting picked for a team? Not even asking you how your day was for the sake of knowing?"

Shinji nodded his head in the negative as he ate his dumplings.

"I can't believe this," Fusei told him. "I mean, it's not right, not being praised or acknowledged by your relatives. Even if you have just one relative in your life, they should tell you that they're proud of your accomplishments, whether they're big ones or just mediocre to the eye, that you do something that earns you their acknowledgment, their acceptance."

"It's hard to accomplish things when you don't have any dreams or ambitions. The last school I was in before I was transferred to the one here, I wrote an essay about my life and everything that happened…or didn't happen in it…and the teacher yelled at me for not taking it serious."

"So…what was your life like before you came to Tokyo-3 because your father told you to?"

"My… It should all say what on my file. Anyone with the appropriate access can get to it and know about me."

"Except that's only what NERV put on your file. They only have some records of your background from a certain angle that isn't absolute, like your school records or something like that. They don't say things in your file like what your hobbies are, what music you like to listen to, whether other people liked you or you grew up on the streets and had to steal to survive, stuff like that, Shinji. And…I don't have access to your NERV file. Even if I did…I'd much rather hear from you, the one I ask directly instead of someone else, about what you experienced in your past…because anyone else can say what they want about you and it may be nothing more than lies, never the truth."

Shinji was touched by her words. He truly was.

"Well, I…" He tried to speak, but his memories of his life before Tokyo-3, the Eva and the Angels, made it feel a little difficult to explain because he didn't feel any happiness in any of them. "After my mother died, my father left me with my aunt and uncle. I begged him not to leave me, but he never looked back. My cousin poked fun at me because of a rumor that my father killed my mother…and my aunt smacked me whenever I fought back about it. They…they didn't want me around because they said I reminded them too much of my parents. They only kept me because my father paid them to look after me. For as long as I can remember, I've had to carry a stigma of being my father's son, and that made it impossible to even try to fit in. So I got by without friends, kept to myself, just trying to make it through the day without someone bringing up my horrible stigma."

And what a stigma it is indeed, thought Fusei; this was like a foul example of the sins of the father being forced upon the child against their will because of the father's atrocities. And it might not even be his stigma to carry.

Why do I feel like this in front of her? Shinji thought, feeling a little better talking about his past to Ms. Hitode. Why do I feel like I can tell her anything?

He even told her about the rainy day he found a bike among a junk pile and just thought that it should go to a lost and found someplace, and how a cop falsely accused him of stealing the bike. Of course nobody believed him whenever he tried to explain that it wasn't true what the cop believed. Even his aunt slapped him for trying to lie about it.

This upset Fusei, who felt that, simply because of the stigma, nobody would believe anything that this young man would say at all. To most people that knew the name "Ikari", they thought of Gendo Ikari, and when they saw Shinji Ikari, they thought only of him being no better than a man that walked out on his child.

"It's not fair," she uttered, "the way you've been treated by others."

"It's okay," he responded, even though it really wasn't okay. "I don't live with them, anymore, so I don't have to put up with them."

"But…it must be awful for you. To go places, see people…only to be reminded of…of those depraved times where those people never considered your feelings."

"Nobody's perfect."

"Nobody should have to be perfect, just humane. I truly don't understand why, after Second Impact, everyone started blaming everyone else for everything that was made wrong with the world. If people make mistakes, they should own up to them and try to fix them with the least amount of suffering, not pin the blame of others that were either there to help you or just to watch you do something. I still wanted to believe that we could all be better than the sum of our past…in a maimed present leading into an unknown future that could still be good if we did things differently than we might've done before. I did one thing wrong in my past…and I'm still trying to fix it."

"What did you do that was…wrong?" Shinji asked her, but then realized he crossed a line. "I'm sorry. It must be a private matter. Forget I asked, please."

"No, it's okay," she assured him. "It was years ago. A lifetime ago. People can sometimes forget…just as easily as some people can forget…to forgive others for acts that were better left uncommitted to begin with."

Before they could resume their eating, a male voice uttered out, "Shinji Ikari!"

Shinji dropped his chopsticks and looked towards the entrance to the cafeteria, seeing Sub-Commander Fuyutsuki, looking out of breath.

He looked towards the boy and Ms. Hitode and quickly approached them.

"I'm sorry, but I really have to talk to you," he told Shinji, sounding like something bad was going to happen soon. "It might sound crazy, but all I ask is that you believe me when what I say is the truth, because there was no way that man was going to let you know at all. It's about your parents, you see… They're not who you were led to believe they are."

"What?" Shinji responded, confused. "What…what are you talking about?"

Suddenly, three of NERV's security guards came into the cafeteria and went over towards where Sub-Commander Fuyutsuki was.

"They're not really your parents, Shinji," he quickly told the boy as the guards grabbed him and started to remove him from the room against his will. "They're not your parents, Shinji! They're not related to you at all! Don't believe a word that man says!"

When he was removed completely, Shinji was confused with what he was told. Why would Sub-Commander Fuyutsuki tell him something that seemed unlikely? Sure, he and his father were as distant as he cared to believe and almost impossible for them to get along with each other, but…to have no relation? He had always heard people say terrible things about his father and the whispers about his mother whose face he could no longer recall, but nothing this outlandish.

-x-

Gendo was confident that the Third Child wouldn't question whatever Fuyutsuki might've told him. And once he had the elder incarcerated in the brig with a cover story for why he was spouting some nonsense, things should go back to being under control. The less anyone knew, the better. He didn't need anyone else knowing the truth.

And now that he thought about it as he sat at his desk, he decided that he couldn't risk Dr. Akagi knowing what she knew, either. Whatever she did find out, he had to make sure no one else knew, no matter what.

-x-

Even though he was told (if there was a proper way of even saying "instructed to forget") to disregard what Sub-Commander Fuyutsuki had spoken to him, Shinji found himself unable to not question the elder's words. It was just the way he told him, right out of the blue, that his parents weren't really his parents. Why would he tell him this, and why now?

"…Hey, Third!" He heard Asuka yell at him, reminding him that he was back at Misato's apartment. "Hello?! Anyone home?!"

"Could you stop yelling at me, please?" He asked her. "People like to think in silence sometimes, and being yelled at doesn't help."

"You've been silent ever since your lunch date with that woman ended abruptly by a crazy man spouting nonsense to you."

"And that's what boggles me. He spouted nonsense towards me. Me. He could've spouted nonsense to anyone else around him, but instead of them, he came looking for me."

"And you think of this…because?"

"You don't find it odd?"

"No, I don't."

"One of the doctors stated that he was off his meds," said Misato to them as she lay on the floor in front of the television with Pen-Pen, "but that doesn't make any sense, whatsoever."

"Huh?" Asuka went. "What do you mean?"

"I've looked at his record, Asuka. Sub-Commander Fuyutsuki's almost sixty years old. It's odd that a man as old as him, with no known history of mental illness, suddenly decides to go and have a nervous breakdown and single out one person out of the thousands at NERV. Plus, I spoke with him when he came and asked me where Shinji was today, and he was very competent. There was no indication of any need for meds for mental illness."

"Then if he wasn't crazy, why would anyone incarcerate him?" Shinji asks her.

-x-

"…It's in everyone's best interest if they put this all behind them," Gendo told Ritsuko that evening in his office.

"Very well, but there's something you should know that may complicate things," she responded. "It may just be a coincidence, but there's only one other person here that has the same blood type as the boy."

"Who?"

-x-

Her first night shift, and Fusei was already feeling the lack of caffeine in her body. Sitting on the bridge over the MAGI was boring and exhausting.

"It gets easier after a while," went Maya to her.

"How long is 'a while' down here?" She asked her.

"A month and being hardwired on coffee."

"Not soon enough."

Fusei got up and left the bridge in search of coffee for her body right now.

Maya noticed that the older woman had left a sketchpad in her seat…and decided to let her curiosity get the better of her.

Some people think this Hitode woman is after Senpai's position, she thought, picking up her pad and flipping it open. What secrets does she have?

In the pad were sketches of people and places, detailed in life-like variations, as though they had been taken from the real world.

So beautiful, she thought, never thinking this older as some sort of artist, and looked at the last page that was being worked on. "Hmm?"

Although it was a work-in-progress, there was enough of the sketch to make out a young boy that had some resemblance to the Third Child, sitting on a bench. Then, she quickly put the pad back in the woman's chair and returned to her own before she came back. It wasn't really her business, but she thought that the woman was honestly trying to be friends with the Eva pilot. She had seen them earlier in the cafeteria before the Sub-Commander was taken away after ranting about how Commander Ikari and his late wife weren't really his parents.

When Fusei returned with a thermos of coffee, she looked at her sketchpad and noticed that it had been moved; she and Ms. Ibuki were the only ones on night shift duty on the bridge in Central Dogma.

"Miss Ibuki?" She asked. "Did you touch my sketchpad?"

To be continued…