This chapter was a bitch. I'm still not happy with it, I hope it conveys what I am going for here. Thank you as always for reading the crazy xoxoxoxo Krissy PS, There's an iconic Mac line in this chapter, let me know when you find it :)

The girl was scared, and with good reason, she wasn't a local and that was the way it was supposed to be, just a hiker who had gotten lost in the canyon and separated from her friends. A victim of circumstance and it was an unlucky day for her. Martin and Marco had found her and under the guise of helping her, lured her to the cave. It worked like a charm, as it did the first time the four of them had done it the six months before.

Mac and Stanley had been out delivering and testing product all day and it was nighttime, dark and quiet when they got back to the caves. They pulled up on their dirt bikes and the two dirt bikes that Martin and Marco rode were both there. That was odd, they were supposed to be hooking up with Walter to get the next weeks order list, there wasn't supposed to be anyone out here right now.

Martin and Marco were already there alright and had been all day since they had found her, and when Mac and Stanley arrived the shit hit the fan. They had the girl tied to a chain on the wall that had been there since before the beginning of time, and she was clearly half dead already.

That wasn't in the plan for today; these two assholes had acted spontaneously and that wasn't smart at all, Mac was pissed as fuck, no one had a brain in their head around this place. Even at fifteen, he had the good sense to cover his ass, there was a right way and a wrong way to do shit and this was the wrong way.

"What the fuck are you two doing?" Mac said, walking past the girl as if she wasn't even there to where his friends were standing packing up the merch to be delivered the next day, "Are you fucking kidding me?"

Martin shrugged, "She was there."

"We got shit to do," Mac replied sarcastically, "Fucking idiots."

"Hey," Marco cut him off, "The opportunity presented itself and we took it, might as well, right?"

Mac just grumbled at the unexpected situation, they couldn't let her go, that was a no-brainer; even though they were all already wasted they smoked some more and discussed what the fuck they were going to do. The last time, they all agreed beforehand when and how, and Mac made it clear that that was the way it had to be. Obviously, he was the smartest of this bunch. Taking some random girl just because she was there was not the way to do this stuff, it required planning.

This spontaneity bullshit was going to get them caught, his friends were a bunch of fucking idiots. He swept his hand through his hair and assessed the situation, he was good at that part. Then he sent Stanley out to keep watch while he fixed this problem.

He'd read a lot about the subject when he was questioning things about himself, but it also told him what not to do and how not to get caught. You had to use your head for god sake, and not be spontaneous. That was asking for trouble, every killer that got busted that he read about had let down their guard and acted in the moment without thinking.

He was going to put the fear of god into these assholes because this was a stupid move. He considered ditching them all and just going solo too, that was a question for another day though, shit had to be handled now. He'd figure that out another time.

"You all can explain why you aren't there getting your lists, and I can tell you there's gonna be hell to pay for that," He said finally, "Now playtime is over, fucking pack up the rest and we're out of here."

Mac was the lead by default because he was Walter's kid and this was Walter's set up, but he doubted Walter knew about what else they did here. If he did, he never said a word and likely he didn't care as long as the meth got cooked on schedule and deliveries were on time.

"She's blonde Mac," Marco pointed towards the girl.

"I can fucking see that asshole," He replied and kicked over a garbage can, "You do this again I'm gonna make sure the old man..."

"How the fuck you gonna do that? Why don't you tell me..." Marco replied.

"Yeah, how ya gonna do that without outing yourself?" Martin added.

He and Marco got into it some more and were eye to eye at one point and Martin leaned down to the girl with a tin in his hand.

"You want some baby?" She shook her head, the fear in her eyes was palpable, she whimpered softly even with the makeshift gag in her mouth. She tried to gain some sympathy using her eyes but there was no respite for her here. Martin enjoyed terrorizing her, and he had been at it all day long; her wrists and ankles were raw from the rope he had tied her with initially and there was blood all over her legs.

"Sampling a little too much of the product, yeah?" Mac said to Martin, "You're a fuckin asshole."

The girl had blonde hair and Mac did prefer blondes, and you didn't have to be a rocket scientist to figure out why even he knew the answer to that. He could get behind this he supposed, and his dick was getting hard anyway. He shrugged and looked over at her again; in for a penny, in for a pound, grabbed the tin from Martin, opened it and rubbed the powder on his gums.

The feeling was like lightning shot through his head and he turned towards the girl and snarled.

"I know you spent the day with this amateur, sweetheart, but never fear, Mac is here." He smiled as devils smile, "Ready to find out how a man does it?"

"A man?," The girl laughed wearily, "You're a bunch of kids, what are you twelve?"

Now he was fucking pissed, first, he smacked her hard, knocking her against the wall, then leaned down and bit her shoulder hard. The girl screamed a loud blood curdling scream as his teeth broke her skin, then he slapped her twice more until she was almost knocked out. Meth made him violent most of the time if he did too much, there was no getting around that, it was different for everyone, but it made him crazy.

He preferred the mellow high of some good blue heaven kush, but today he had done some meth while they were delivering, unfortunately for this girl.

They had all done way too much of Walter's special recipe that day and smoked when he got there too, now he'd rubbed it on his gums; it was go time.

He knelt down and spread her legs wide and the girl started to cry, shaking her head no, "Not again..."

" 'fraid so..." He dragged her across the rock floor by the foot away from everyone, scratching her back along the way and she just whimpered, too weak to fight. The dirt from the floor of the cave turned her hair red in some places, and it was all over her back. Mac did not give a rat's ass, he pulled her up until she was almost on his lap, yanked his pants down then slammed into her. The girl screamed again, and he smacked her so hard she landed against the far wall again, then he was on her again, over and over until the violence and hunger inside of him was satisfied. The girl was unconscious by the time he got done with her, she'd taken a massive beating all day long, but nothing compared to this wild animal that had her now.

She prayed for death, her name was Samantha, and she ended up dumped down the mine shaft outside the cave after Mac raped her twice and stabbed her to death.

"Now let's get going," He stood up and wiped his hands on his pants, "We got shit to do, Marco, get rid of her and if you assholes do this again without me knowing about it, I'll string you all up on that hook over there."

"Alright tweak, whatever you say," Martin said, and Mac's first instinct was to hit him, but he let it go in favor of getting in Martin's face with the gun he kept in his back pocket or in his truck, courtesy of Walter.

"Shut the fuck up or this all ends, you got me?" He brushed the barrel of the gun against Martin's cheek.

"Got you," Martin replied, what a crazy son of a bitch he was, "I got it man, don't worry, loud and clear. It's all good right?"

Mac put the gun back in his back pocket, "Do this again without me knowing, any of you and I won't be asking questions. I'll just kill you all."

Then he walked out.

/

"Nothing's gonna hurt you, baby, as long as you're with me you'll be just fine..."

The phone rang in the other end and a few states away and she didn't answer, it was late and a school night for her and he knew she turned her phone off when she went to sleep. Lucy was serious about school but he still had to call; maybe he just wanted to hear her voice on the message to anchor him back to who he wanted to be.

It was like he was two people or two people inside of him fighting for dominance. At one time he thought he had Disassociative Disorder but quickly realized that wasn't it. Now he thought he was just evil.

He knew that a moral compass could point you in the right direction but it couldn't make you go there.

Mac had read extensively about people like him. Most came from broken homes, check. Most had ambiguous relationships with their fathers, check. Some liked to start fires, check. Some were cruel to animals, no check. Some felt disconnected and different than their peers, check. Most were very clever and cunning, check. He checked so many boxes it made his head spin.

The animal had come out tonight, the bad part of him, when he was younger he could keep it away mostly, kept it hidden. But it was so goddamn easy now to just let it out on some unsuspecting girl who might cross his path.

He lit a cigarette and sat on the porch of his house coming down from the high and swearing it would never happen again, like the good drug addict he was already becoming; he left her a message.

"Hey Luce, was just thinking about you, call me when you get this."

/

The night was quiet except the sound of the radio coming from inside the house, Sheila and Sylvia were having a fifties and sixties music retrospective apparently and Mac and Lucy had taken to the backyard. It was summertime again, the best time of the year. It was warm and just about dusk, clear sky to look up at the stars if you wanted to, a perfect night.

The song that was playing was familiar and they both hummed along with it, they had been hearing this music all their lives and it was pleasant and comforting in a way. Both of Mac's parents and Lucy's too had excellent taste in music and although they both preferred newer music, sometimes it was nice to hear these songs again.

It reminded him of a simpler time, a time with less confusion, and more innocence.

"When your baby leaves you all alone,
And nobody calls you on the phone.
Don't you feel like crying?
Don't you feel like crying?
Well, here I am, my honey
C'mon, cry to me."

"You had sex yet Mac?" Lucy asked as if it was the most natural question in the world, they did tell each other everything and she wanted to know. But he was momentarily taken aback just the same, and if she only knew. There were things he couldn't tell her now, she would hate him for sure.

He looked up at her from where he was giving her a tattoo with a lighter, a needle and India ink not believing what she had just said, yet not being entirely surprised. That was Lucy, saying whatever the fuck that was on her mind, as usual.

They were sitting out at the patio table his mother had set up for them, but she had been unaware of the latest thing they were up to. It was not going to go over well with Lucy's Mom, they both knew it and they were both going to get an earful about it, but it didn't stop them.

"Kinda question is that?" He said incredulously.

Lucy knew when he was hiding something, she always knew.

"You can't go asking a guy that." Mac continued, deflection was the way to go here, "Whats the matter with you?"

"You have! You fucker!" She cried, "I knew it!"

He huffed, he was fifteen what did she expect anyway.

"Who was it? Not that puta butan Becky Marsh, please tell me you didn't stick your dick in her." She said making a face of disgust.

"Watch your mouth, Luce, and I ain't telling you," He looked down, feeling his face redden, "Stop talking about my dick."

"I know it was her, she's been after you for ages but she's a fucking slut, even I know that. I sure hope you wrapped it up, cause Carolina said she has the clap."

"Carolina doesn't know everything ya know," Mac countered, "Why you so worried about my dick, huh?".

"I'm worried about your health asshole," She countered.

Good save, Luce, she thought to herself.

"Anyway, I can tell," She narrowed her eyes as if she was thinking, then she nodded her head, "Yeah, you look different," She said with all seriousness and he looked up at her in confusion.

"What?" He held the needle in his hand and waited for her to answer.

Lucy could only contain herself for a minute then she started laughing, "You are such an easy mark," She laughed harder and he ignored her and reached for his pack of cigarettes.

"Have you?" He asked trying to change the subject, even though he didn't really want the answer to that question. Just the thought of her with someone that way...gave him a headache.

She shook her head as he lit a cigarette and placed it between his teeth and set to finish her tattoo. The idea of her even kissing someone made him angrier than it should have, as if she belonged to him and he liked her answer when he finally got it.

"Good, don't... promise me." He said as he lit the lighter and burned the needle again then dipped it in the ink, "Your mother is gonna have a shit fit when she sees this."

"Ouch, watch it will ya," She said as he dug a little too hard into her hand. He hadn't been paying attention and he didn't mean to hurt her, at least that's what he told himself. But was that his way of getting her to promise him? He wasn't sure at all.

"Sorry," He looked up at her, and she nodded that it was OK and that he hadn't hurt her hand that much. All night Mac had kept gazing at her when she wasn't looking, she had learned how to french braid her hair and it hung over her shoulder like a dark waterfall. He remembered how soft her hair was, and he longed to touch it again.

Now Lucy was staring at him like he had three heads.

"When you're all alone in your lonely room,
And there's nothing but the smell of her perfume.
Don't you feel like crying?
Don't you feel like crying?
Don't you feel like crying?
C'mon, C'mon, cry to me."

Now he couldn't tear himself away from her eyes, there was something there that he had never seen before, and he couldn't put his finger on what exactly it was, but whatever it was, he wanted it. Something was there that was just beyond his reach and understanding, buried way back in his mind and in the reflected green eyes before him. He wanted it more than just about anything he had ever wanted before, it felt like a kind of peace.

Lucy had changed on him all of the sudden; that was the thing, he hadn't seen her in a year and now she looked like a girl. Her hair was longer, she had on a halter top and shorts and from where he was leaning over the table to ink her hand he could see she had breasts now. He knew he shouldn't be looking at her, yet...she was...so... "Just promise me you won't Lucy," He said again, quickly cutting off his thoughts about her.

"Only if you tell me what it's like," She quipped back and grinned at him.

"Fuck no!" He pulled his eyes away from where they didn't belong and went back to work on her hand. After he finished and took a long drag on his cigarette, he swore to himself he wouldn't look at her that way again.

"Come on tell me," She said as she admired his handiwork on her wrist, he'd put a spider there, "This is bad ass Mac, now let me do you."

"Fine," He put his hand out, she would put the same thing on his wrist, he could have done it himself, but she wanted to and it was hard to say no to her sometimes.

"Macerio," He glared at her with narrowed eyes for using his given name as she cut into his wrist and dipped the sterilized needle into the ink to tattoo him, "We never keep secrets from each other."

"Maybe we should start, Lucia," He sighed but he didn't really want that, not with her, but it was a fact now. There were secrets that had to be kept. Still, as he said it and looked back up at her he knew it wouldn't be this secret he kept, this one was nothing compared to others he kept now.

She was the only one that got away with calling him Macerio, she was also the only one who could ever get him to spill his guts too; he let out a long sigh and she grinned knowing she had won again, "Its fuckin great."

Lucy nodded and looked away, then back at him after a bit, after her face lost the deep red glow that his words had caused.

"Do you believe in soulmates Mac?" She asked.

"Never thought about it, you?"

"I don't know, maybe."

"Whoa, nothing can be sadder than a glass of wine alone.
Loneliness, loneliness, such a waste of time, whoa yeah.
You don't ever have walk alone, you see
Come take my hand, and baby, won't you walk with me?'