Your name is Kanaya Maryam, and you are starving to death. You haven't been able to eat properly in a long time, as human blood has proved to not be as nourishing as you had once thought. While you found it to be suitable at first, you lost your taste for it over time, as your body seemed to realize that you were not, in fact, tasting the rainbow.

The last time you drank blood was several weeks ago, when Rose had tentatively offered you her arm. You barely drank at all that time, and found the taste to be increasingly unpleasant. The initial high of drinking blood has long faded, and now all that is left is the knowledge that humans make for a poor imitation of what you really need. You need to drink blood from a troll.

You are lucky in that this is an option for you at all right now. Nepeta and Equius have both recently arrived at the Lalonde Estate, and you find yourself hungering more as you look at them. Their blood could likely keep you satisfied for some time.

If only it could be that easy.

The initial meeting between Rue Lalonde and Equius was completely disastrous, and required the most hands on auspisticizing you've ever performed. Unfortunately you were far too late to prevent catastrophic damage to both parties, due to a… distraction. You arrived in time to prevent the death of Mrs. Lalonde, but Equius' damage was far more extensive. While Mrs. Lalonde's strength was not enough to withstand a single blow from the powerful blue blood, she was able to rupture most of his internal organs using a strange form of martial arts.

Meanwhile, Nepeta doesn't trust you at all, which is understandable given the circumstances. She saw somebody fire a bolt of energy through your abdomen, and then she saw you take a leap on par with Equius' strongjump and throw him like a ragdoll. And since dying you seem to smell different to her as well. As far as she's concerned you are not Kanaya.

So with Nepeta raising her hackles every time she sees you, and Equius so injured that you don't think you could take his blood without killing him, you're not sure you have any chance of getting yourself a donor before you start to lose yourself.

Meanwhile, the humans have called over some kind of robotics expert to make a new body for Aradia, who seems to be even more skilled at evading death than you are. The young man, named Dirk Strider, appears to be well acquainted with the Lalondes, and is impressively capable in the field of robotics, as far as you can tell.

The Aradiabot has been under construction for a week now, despite Roxy shifting motivation between helping and harassing Dirk. Somehow the robot has almost been completed. You suppose Dirk is simply better at resisting distractions than Equius, as Roxy is easily on par with Nepeta in terms of general insanity.

Nepeta is keeping herself useful by playing doctor to the injured party, physically holding Mrs. Lalonde and Equius down whenever they're feeling antsy. Rose, meanwhile, has busied herself by talking with Aradia, apparently fascinated by the idea of a spirit retaining consciousness and memory.

This leaves you, a starving rainbow drinker who is feeling increasingly out of place with every new addition to the Lalonde Estate. The Lalondes are still not entirely familiar to you, though Rose has been… more than hospitable. Dirk seems to be more machine than human, though his scent tells you that he is indeed flesh and blood. And the trolls are dubious regarding your undead status, which you feel is rather unfair, given their current interaction with a ghost.

You lack any sort of technological experience, so assisting in the creation of Aradia's body is out of the question. You possess some skill in medical procedures, but with Nepeta guarding the injured, entering the impromptu healthcare wing upstairs would likely result in a mauling.

With nothing else to do, you have been wandering the grounds of the Estate, trying to pretend that the roaring in your gut is all in your imagination. You see a rabbit go by, but animal blood has proven to be even less satisfactory than that of a human. You're beginning to wonder how you'll make do from here on out, but it's not something you can worry about.

Worrying will only serve to make you more desperate.

Your thoughts are disrupted when you look to one side and see something in the undergrowth. You investigate further and find a cooler sitting buried in moss. It's blue in color, and you suppose it must have belonged to Equius. You can't imagine why he'd keep a cooler with him though. You suppose it can't hurt to take a look th-

Oh.

Oh my.

The cooler is filled with blood. Equius' blood stuck in bags and put on ice, which by now has all but melted. The shade of the trees kept it from melting completely, but time has caused the chill of the cooler to disappear. The blood lacks the warmth of life, but the rich blue hue of Equius' blood still seems very appealing.

The reason Equius kept a cooler of his own blood is a question you don't even think to ask. All you know is that you are so, so, hungry. And this is the epitome of easy meals.

Your name is Nepeta Leijon, and you are not in a good mood. You haven't been particularly happy for a long time, actually. It's been some very trying months for you, and there is no sign of things getting easier in the future.

Aradia is dead, and the creation of her body is being taken over by humans. You do not trust humans very much after what they've done to you, even though these humans seem nicer than most, so this doesn't sit right with you. And Equius, your moirail, the most important person in the world to you, is currently suffering from severe internal injuries.

This is made all the worse by the fact that he was so devoted to helping Aradia, and now he can't. Aradia assured him she didn't care, but that only made things worse. The Aradia you used to know would have cared. She would appreciate all that he's done, and what it means to him.

Equius puts up a good front, but you know that he's always thinking of how he's acting against the hemospectrum. He's devoted himself to helping a rust blood while Gamzee is suffering under Doctor Scratch. You think it's a healthy change to make, but you know it's eating him up. For most of Equius' life the hemospectrum was all he had. It was just him and Aurthour in a house far too large for the two of them.

You wonder sometimes how Equius became such a fixture in your group. When the two of you met you seemed to synch up perfectly, but your affiliation with the lowbloods never sat well with him. Really, your blood is more than low enough to draw his ire as well, but somehow that never seemed to be an issue with you two. He's been looking after you for sweeps now, and you've done the same for him as best as you could.

Equius has fallen asleep for the first time in days; he's been awake and fretting over everything since he awoke from his fight with the Lalondes. Now that he's asleep, you can take this moment to help elsewhere.

You haven't been able to stay fully up to date on the progress with Aradiabot, but you know that Dirk won't be able to finish the job without something only Equius can provide. Equius has been taking his blood as you've travelled, so that he'd have enough to fill the robot. And you know where the blood is now. In the woods. Where you forgot it. And now you are going to go get it so that you can be helpful to Aradia, and get her back to normal.

You climb out the window, so that you won't have to deal with all the humans below. You don't think they're bad, on the contrary you find the Lalondes to be very likeable, but you just don't feel ready to spend too much time with humans yet.

Unfortunately for you, it seems that fate has other plans, because you see somebody is on the roof already. Roxy Lalonde, who is lounging with a bottle, turns and spots you before you've taken two steps.

"Neeeeepeta!" her voice is loud enough to make you wince, and you start looking for an escape route. Then you see Vodka Mutini rolling on his back next to her and you find yourself creeping closer. Cursed, adorable, fluffy, kittens! They shall always be your greatest weakness and you love them for it.

Roxy notices your hesitation and grins broadly at you. "I don't bite you know, and Mutie already loves you too much to do something like that. C'mon, c'mon!" She rocks on her feet like she's about to fall over, then squats down and scratches Vodka's tummy. His purring is audible from across the roof. You're sold.

Five minutes later all three of you are lying down on the roof, and you're purring enough to match Mutie. Roxy isn't purring but she's grinning ear to ear, and seems to have forgotten about her alcohol completely, which you are happy to see because from what you've seen her sister thinks that alcohol is bad, like soporifics on Alternia.

"So Nep, why are you so scared of humans?" Roxy asks as she props herself up on an elbow. "Kanaya doesn't like us either, but she doesn't want to talk about it."

You sit up with a groan. You don't like to talk about it either, but with four trolls now imposing on these people, you feel like they deserve to know. And so, you tell her, every single thing that's happened to you since you crashed on earth. And Roxy cries through most of it. She also hugs you, which is both nice and awkward.

You realize as you finish recounting your journey here that you're crying as well. There is a long period of silence as the two of you sit together on the roof. Finally Roxy stands up and grabs the bottle she was drinking before and takes a long drag.

"Why do you drink that stuff?" You ask inquisitively, wrinkling your nose as Roxy smacks her lips.

Roxy shrugs, "Well I used to make martinis, but since Rose started being all meddly with my drinking habits, I can't get at the glasses, so I just drink from the bottle instead."

You shake your head. "No, I want to know why you drink any alcohol! Your family doesn't like when you drink, especially Rose, so why drink anyways?"

"Because my mom drinks."

You stare at her with your best 'what does that even mean?' expression, until she gives in and explains. "You've seen how Rose is when she's with our mom, right?"

"Nyeah, they fight a lot, like they can't get along."

"Right, but see it's not really like that." Roxy sits down again and smiles ruefully. "It might look like their fighting is mean spirited at first, and Rose sometimes wonders if our mom isn't insane, but that's not really how it is. Their passive aggressive arguing is just how they connect with each other. They'll be at each other's throats sometimes, but afterwards they always bounce back closer than ever. Nowadays when they insult each other it's just a joke, like they don't even mean it. Insulting is like a sacred tie that binds them. I don't have that."

She looks at the bottle she's holding with a grimace. "I've got nothing really linking me to my mom like Rose does, so I just started acting like her. I've been doing it for so long I can't even remember when I started. And all it's done is make everybody look at me like a drunken idiot. So I just drink more to forget about it."

You think about this for a while, as Roxy nurses her bottle. The answer comes to you pretty quickly though. "Well, the best thing to do is to get yourself a meowrail!" You announce with a grin. "Then they can help you get through all these purroblems!"

Roxy blinks for a moment at this, and then turns to face you with a grin. "You know your cat puns are totes adorbs girl, but they don't make it easy to understand what you're saying."

You giggle at this, "Okay, I will drop the cat puns just for you, Roxy. Meowrail actually means moirail, which is one of a troll's romantic quadrants!" Roxy nods in understanding, which you suppose must mean that Kanaya has brought this up to some extent with the humans, so you continue. "Moirails are like me and Equius, we complete each other, like a soul mate! I try to stop him from being a creepy stick in the mud, and he tries to stop me from being a wild and crazy goofball even though it's fun and I love it."

Roxy frowns thoughtfully at this. "Well that sounds like what romance is like for humans, but without the sex. Ideal human relationships have both people helping each other improve, while also liking each other physically. Though it almost never works out because most people are crazy and never want to be wrong about anything."

"Humans put both red quadrants together?" you are absolutely baffled by this. "That sounds as complicated and difficult as it is just weird." Roxy snorts and nods in agreement.

You don't think that humans have a very good idea about how romance should be best conducted, but you decide that it'd be easier to help Roxy with her weird human quadrant mash-up, rather than teach all of humanity that they're doing romance all wrong. "So is there somebody that you are in love with?" you decide to be straightforward.

Roxy sputters, caught off guard and looks at you in a panic, but you make sure your face leaves no room for argument. Roxy groans, starts to raise her bottle again, and stops, holding it halfway up to her face. Then she frowns as though remembering something unpleasant, and with a sudden yell of frustration throws the bottle off the roof.

"Can't drink while I'm thinking about him." She mutters, panting as she collapses back into a sitting position. This seems promising. "The guy making the robot downstairs, Dirk. I've been in love with him for years." She smiles ruefully as she says it.

"Oh. My. Gosh." You need to make a new shipping wall. Immediately. "That is so PURRFECT! You've loved him all this time and haven't told him? You'd be so great for each other, he's all strict and rigid, so he'd help you stay sober and you can help him be livelier!" He's also got a great butt for a human, objectively speaking, but you don't think Roxy would like to hear that. Actually… she doesn't seem to like anything you're saying right now.

"Yeah, he's the best. Which is obviously why he's gay." She groans, leaving you confused as heck. You tilt your head inquisitively, and Roxy elaborates grumpily, "That means he only likes men. You know, homosexual?"

What.

"How is that even a thing?" You stare down at her in bewilderment. She shrugs. "Human romance sure is weird." You frown as you think of a solution. You don't think making Dirk not gay is an option. If being gay is a thing here, then it would be wrong to make him change like that, even if he and Roxy would be super cute together. Liking dudes is not the kind of thing that you think should be changed, especially since you tend to like males more than females as well.

"Is there anybody else you might love instead?" you ask tentatively, not sure if it's right to ask her to fall in love with a new guy, even if he doesn't love her back. Roxy seems to think similarly, because she lets out a yell of frustration at the question and covers her face with her hands. "I'm sorry! I'm still trying to wrap my head around how your human romance works!" You stutter out in a panic.

"It's not your fault, Nepeta, you're super brilliant and awesome." Roxy says through her hands, "The problem is that I do like another guy, and its super complicated."

"Complicated is better than impawssible!" You say brightly, "Who is he? Is he nice?"

Roxy snorts, "Yeah, he's pretty much the nicest guy ever, it's both adorable and kinda weird. His name is John Egbert, and he's a huge dork who spends all his time watching bad movies and studying how to make planes. He's really sweet, and nice, and cute, and funny, and also I think he's actually pretty ripped for some reason? That's what Rose told me at least…" She seems to get upset as she mentions Rose.

"So she's Rose's friend?"

"Yeah, that's an understatement." Roxy says with a bitter laugh. "He dated Rose for like, five years. They were totally inseparable, until they suddenly weren't. Only now that he's available, that means that he and Rose have something weird going on between them. She's hardly talked to him since they broke up, and everything feels so weird between them, and because she's my sister, and he's already one of my best friends, that means things are weird between him and me as well!"

Humans are really weird. And they seem to overcomplicate everything. But you think this time you have the answer. "You know, things are only going to be as awkward as you make them." She looks up in confusion, and you smile at her. "Things are probably only weird between you two because you feel like they should be, but if you let that continue you'll never get a chance! So you should just let Rose and John sort things out on their own, and then put the moves on him without letting that get between you! And then if it's still weird between you two then you'll know it's because John's just a weird guy!"

Roxy bursts out laughing at this. "His weirdness is sooo cute though!" She breathes out through her chuckling. She stops and then stands up, smiling at you broadly, like she was when you were both playing with Mutie. "Thanks a bunch Nepeta, you're totally right. If I love him as much as I think I do, then I shouldn't second-guess myself!" She hugs you, and you purr affectionately, picking her up off the ground.

Roxy grins down at you, "Nepeta, you are seriously strong for somebody so short, you know that." Your smile broadens, and you set her down as she continues, "Alright girl, let's go inside and see if everyone is surviving without the two hottest babes in the building for company!"

You smile and follow her inside, but stop at the window as Roxy's words reverberate in your thinkpan. You've been second-guessing your love for quite a while now. Ever since that day Karkat smiled at you in Scratch's prison, and called you out for your hemoism, you've been feeling guilty and heartbroken. And when he ran away after you all escaped, that feeling only intensified. The look on his face when he stared at you, his hollow eyes, they haunt you to this day. They'll haunt you for the rest of your life if you don't do something about it.

You're still thinking about this when you rejoin Roxy at the foot of the stairs to the lower level. Roxy is staring ahead blankly, and when she sees you next to her she starts to mutter curse words so fast you can barely understand her. Then you look up to see Equius hooked up to the Aradiabot from his bed. There is a tube transferring blood from him to the machine, and he's looking horrendously pale. On the table nearby the cooler full of blood is visibly empty, and Kanaya is sitting next to it with her head in her hands.

Dirk glances over from where he's supervising the blood transfer, and sees you just in time to roll out of the path of your claws. Kanaya looks up in shock, and Equius speaks weakly, but you don't pay them any heed. All you know is that Equius, your injured and horribly weakened moirail, is now having the blood sucked out of him by this man, and you will not let him do something like that without maiming him horribly. Dirk is refusing to comply though, darting back from your attacks with a stoic expression on his face that serves only to infuriate you further.

Suddenly you're floating in midair, and you realize that Aradia has intervened. More shocking is that she is using the new body. Equius is grinning weakly as he stares up at her, while Roxy and Kanaya both grab you before you can start flailing again.

"Aradia, your body is functioning!" Equius says weakly as you all stare up at her in shock. "Are you feeling well?"

Aradia stares down, her face as impassive as you've imagined it did all the time she's been communicating through wiring. Then, as though something is breaking within her, she starts to scream.

"IT'S NOT RIGHT! IT FEELS WRONG! I CAN'T STOP IT!" She grabs her head as though in pain, and rips a horn off in frustration. Equius looks heartbroken, as Aradia sinks to the ground screaming, "THEY WON'T STOP TALKING, I CAN'T SHUT THEM OUT." She grabs Equius and starts shaking him, "WHY CAN I STILL HEAR THEM, I'M NOT SUPPOSED TO BE ABLE TO HEAR THEM WHEN YOU'RE HERE!"

Dirk intervenes in a flash, cutting Aradia's arms off before she can harm Equius further. Aradia's screams only increase further, and you look around in alarm as the robot's body tears itself apart, and the room becomes a cyclone of metal and blue blood, the blood that Equius just gave, and you realize with a start that despite losing her voice box you can still hear her screaming. Then with a loud bang, the whole tornado bursts through the ceiling and out of the building.

Equius looks stricken, Kanaya and Roxy look outright stunned, and even Dirk seems shocked. You struggle away from Kanaya and Roxy to rush to Equius as he lies on the bed. He blinks slowly when you pap him, as though he's waking up from a dream, and turns to face you slowly.

"I failed her, Nepeta." Equius whispers quietly. Tears begin to trickle down his face as he shakes silently. "After everything I gave up to make this right, I failed to help her. I should never have betrayed my role as a blueblood; I have proven to be a complete failure as a troll ever since I left Gamzee to die. Why didn't I just do as my caste dictated?"

You wrap your arms around him, as he continues to weep noiselessly, and think about his question. The troubling thing is, that with your moirail now in the weakest state you've ever seen him, you're not sure if you can give him an answer anymore.

Notes:

It's somewhat of a challenge to come up with reasons why some of the characters act the way they do in this story, since I have to find ways to maintain their character without giving them the same backgrounds. Roxy is the clearest example of this, as much of her character is based on her isolated upbringing in Homestuck. Meanwhile in Blood Pride she has a younger sister in Rose, as well as her mother. However, most of the alpha kids have some differences between themselves and their Beta counterparts. Dirk has his robots, Jake has an obsession with the shittiest movies known to man, and Roxy has hacking and video games, to go with her love of manly guys and wizards (which some would argue (correctly) belong in the same category). So I decided to highlight Roxy's differences with her family by highlighting her similarities. This way I can allow Roxy to maintain her flaws in a different upbringing.

My opinions on troll and human love are based upon my own interpretation, so if you feel I got something wrong definitely let me know so we can argue about quadrants and shit. Except don't, I'm happy with my interpretations as they are. Anyways, next chapter we'll start visiting some of the other groups again, though much of the main storyline still revolves around team Equius. That being said, I've been falling behind on Terezi and Vriska since I don't like them much, so I need to suck it up and write for them already.