"Alright Harley, we'll start with you. Three things." Joan prepared her clipboard and gazed expectantly at Harley.
The blonde straightened out her crinkled paper and cleared her throat, casting a nervous glance at Pam, who sat next to her on the couch.
"Do I start with the positives or the negatives?"
"Why don't we start with the positives?"
"Okay," Harley cleared her throat again. "Number one, you," she glanced up at Pam. "Helped me escape a relationship that wasn't good for me."
"And what quality does that represent in Pam?" Joan prompted.
Harley thought about it. "She's supportive?" She amended her question into a statement when Joan raised a brow. "She's supportive."
"Excellent. Two?"
"Number two," Harley continued, looking down at her paper again. "She's caring. She let me into her home when I had nowhere else to go."
"Caring. Good."
"And three is, she makes me feel like I'm the most special person in the world," Harley looked up, meeting Pam's gaze shyly. "I'm not sure what 'quality that represents', but it's true."
Joan smiled and scratched a few notes down on her clipboard. "Very good points, Harley. Let's hear your negatives now."
"She can be too," Harley seemed to struggle with finding the right word. "Controlling. Like with the SIT and the letters. She had to be in charge of everythin'."
Joan bobbed her head and Pam felt a wave of shame flow through her.
"Two is, she doesn't like bein'…vulnerable. And that's okay sometimes. But when she doesn't let me in, I can't help her and then we just get stuck spinnin' our wheels."
"Keep going, Harley," Joan prompted.
"Sometimes she doesn't—"
"You feel, she doesn't," Joan corrected.
"I feel like she doesn't…respect me enough to let me be a…to treat me like an equal. I don't always feel like she trusts me." Harley's lips twisted into a pout and she glanced apologetically at Pam, who offered her a reassuring smile in return.
"Thank you for your honesty, Harley." Harley set her paper down and folded her hands neatly in her lap. "Now Pam, we'll hear from you. Positives first."
Pam didn't need to look at the list she'd written down to remember what she'd decided on, but she did so anyway to put Harley at ease. "One, Harley is incredibly loyal. No matter the situation. She always seems to stand behind my decisions. Whether she truly agrees with them or not." Harley was watching her with wide eyes. "Two, she's genuine and honest. And three, she gives wholeheartedly. She doesn't hold anything, or any emotion, back."
She paused and looked up at Harley and Joan, her eyes flickering between the two of them. Harley was smiling and Joan was writing quickly on her clipboard.
"Now your negatives," she said, and Harley's smile faded.
"I only have one," Pam said. "Occasionally, I feel Harley's eagerness, her desire for closeness, can be… overwhelming. It's not something I'm used to and when it gets to be too much, I've come to realize that I shut her out instead of expressing myself."
"That's a powerful analysis of your feelings, Pam. Harley, your thoughts?" Joan asked.
"I'm sorry, Red. I-"
"No, Harley. Don't apologize," Joan interrupted before Pam could. "This is about honesty and understanding. We're doing this so that the two of you can communicate better when problems arise in the future."
"I…" Harley paused, pondering how to respond. "I don't mean to overwhelm you, I didn't realize you felt that way. I just…" Harley's mouth opened and then snapped shut as if she'd decided against what she wanted to say. "I just care about you… a lot. I wanna be around you. I promise I'll try to pull things back a little."
Pam was shaking her head before Harley had even finished speaking. "No, Harley. You haven't done anything wrong. I simply want you to understand why I thought it was necessary to discontinue SIT, and why I hid the letters, why I was so hesitant to visit Joan in the beginning. I didn't realize I was struggling so much with being… emotionally intimate with you, until it was too late."
Joan smiled widely, looking about ready to applaud Pam for her confession. "Excellent work, Pam. While I highly recommend you two resume SIT sessions, I think it's even more important that you work on strengthening, as Pam said, your emotional intimacy. More often than not, that is the most difficult and intimidating part of a relationship. But addressing it is the first step."
Joan rose from her chair, signaling they were done for the day, and Pam and Harley followed suit. "I'd like to see you both back in a few days. In the interim, I advise you to practice your active listening when it comes to conversation and begin testing the boundaries of SIT when you can. Does that sound like something you both can do?"
Pam and Harley nodded in unison.
"Excellent."
/
"I think you should do it, Pam," Selina said, taking a small sip of her coffee. "File a restraining order. I mean, if you're so convinced it's Jay, it can't hurt to have something in place in case he decides to keep harassing you."
Pam chewed her lip thoughtfully, staring down into her tea cup. She and Selina sat outside Barbara's café, enjoying the brisk autumn afternoon. Unfortunately, the light conversation had just taken a turn Pam didn't want to deal with.
"I don't have any evidence that the letters are connected to him," Pam argued.
"Not really necessary," Selina replied. "You have one of the letters, period, and you have your suspicions of Jay. Plus, the guy's hated you since he met you, it's possible the Commissioner can pull some strings for you. I mean, you're good friends with his daughter, so you have a little bit of an advantage, don't you think? Either way, you're clearly the victim of harassment. And honestly, I can't think of anyone other than Jay that would do this to you. Who else could have found out about Woodrue?"
Pam bobbed her head, running her thumbs around the rim of her cup. Filing a restraining order against Jay could certainly prove useful. Especially if he was behind the letters. None had arrived since the day of her fight with Harley, but if they did start showing up again, she would have an opportunity to keep him out of her (and Harley's) life for good.
"I could speak with Montoya…" She began. "She's been rather adamant about pushing a restraining order as well."
"Listen to the cops, Pam. They're trying to help you." She paused, picking at a thread on the sleeve of her sweater. "What's Harley think of all this?"
"She's suggested it as well," Pam admitted, feeling a little foolish now that she'd yet to follow through. "But she's promised she'll support my decision either way."
"It'd keep her safe too, you know," Selina added. "If he can't target you, he may go after her and since the two of you are almost always together, that could land him in hot water as well. I just think it's the best way to proceed. I… I don't want to see anything happen to you."
Reaching across the table, Selina placed her hand over Pam's. She gave Selina a warm smile and gripped her fingers briefly.
"And Bruce will help you with all the legal shit, if you want," Selina added, retracting her hand. "It can get a little complicated. You want me to talk to him?"
"I'll meet with Officer Montoya first, I'm sure she'll be just as eager to assist me," Pam assured her.
Selina nodded. "Alright, good. As long as you have a game plan." Suddenly, her brow twisted in confusion. "Where is Harley by the way? I figured she'd want to join us for coffee today."
"She said she had something important to take care of at work," Pam shrugged. "Although what that could be, I have absolutely no clue."
/
God damn stupid dumb shitty lock.
Harley shuffled, lowering herself onto her knees and shoving the two bobby pins she held deeper into the lock, her tongue poking between her lips as she worked. She had no idea what she was doing, but she figured jiggling the pins around in the lock long enough would eventually produce some results.
"What the hell are you doing?"
Harley yelped, nearly leaping out of her skin when she heard Floyd's voice behind her. Turning around, she frowned and narrowed her eyes at Floyd as if daring him to challenge her.
"I'm tryin' to pick the lock to Jay's office, what's it look like?"
"Are you crazy?" Floyd asked, and then shook his head. "Dumb question. Of course you are. Breaking into Jay's office, really? You're going to get yourself in serious trouble."
"No, I'm not." Harley brushed him off and returned to her work. "Not if he doesn't find out. And I'm gonna be like a ninja. In and out. No evidence."
"Uh huh," Floyd said, his tone unconvinced. "And why are you doing this?"
"Because I know he's behind the letters Pammy's been gettin', and I'm gonna prove it so the police can finally do somethin'."
"You're doing that wrong," Floyd said, gesturing to the bobby pins, one of which had just gotten jammed in the lock.
"Well then help me!" Harley hissed, struggling to free the pin.
Floyd shook his head and crossed his arms. "No way. I'm not helping you break any laws. I'd like to keep my ass out of jail, thank you."
"If you're not gonna help, then leave me alone," Harley said, finally succeeding in pulling the pin out of the lock.
"Nope, you're coming with me. Enough of this shit." Floyd grabbed Harley's arm, tugging her upward so quickly, she dropped the pins.
"Floyd!" She struggled to free herself from his grasp. "Stop, let me go."
"I'm saving you from some stupid charges, craziness. You'll thank me later," Floyd said, leading her back down the hall.
"I've gotta help Pam!"
"Think you can do that from jail?"
Harley groused, but relented and followed Floyd back out into the lobby. A few moments later, Jay walked through the front door, giving the group a suspicious glance through narrowed eyes before heading to his office in silence. He stopped suddenly, scooping something off the floor and peering at it with a grimace. With a jolt, Harley realized it was one of her bobby pins. Panic flooded through her, constricting in her throat. Would Jay connect the dots? What could she say to explain it? Would he even question it?
Jay cast another glance at the group over his shoulder and then tossed the pin into a nearby trash bin and continued towards his office. Harley breathed an audible sigh of relief.
"See?" Floyd hissed under his breath. "Just saved your ass. You're welcome."
Harley tore her arm away from him and crossed them over her chest, huffing. Floyd smirked and returned to his work station.
"Where have you two been?" Chato asked, looking up from the man he was tattooing.
"Harley's trying to get herself a misdemeanor."
"Flooooyd."
Chato just rolled his eyes and returned to his work.
"Trust me," Floyd said. "The best way to corner Jay is to let him walk into it himself. Guy's a douche bag, and an overconfident one at that. He'll get himself caught without your help."
Harley sighed, taking a seat at her work station and toying with one of her tattoo guns. It was probably for the best that Floyd had stopped her, although she'd never admit that to him. Her plan to find evidence on Jay would definitely have landed her in hot water if she'd been caught. But more than anything she wanted to help Pam. Whatever that looked like.
/
"Pam, I'm glad you decided to follow through with this," Montoya said, greeting both Pam and Harley as they made their way into the station. "I know it's a little overwhelming, but it's going to be worth it in the long run, especially if we can find some evidence on this guy."
Harley followed behind the Montoya and Pam a little more slowly, taking in the GCPD station with wide curious eyes.
"You must be Harley?" Montoya asked as they walked. "I've heard quite a bit about you."
"That's me. Pleased to meetcha Officer…." Harley peered at the woman's name tag. "Montoya."
"Call me Renee," she smiled and then returned her attention to Pam. "I've already spoken with the Commissioner about filing an order. Now, to be honest with you, the case is slowing to a crawl. Without any more letters to examine, or threats to consider, there's little he can do for you. But what the Commissioner has planned will put a couple of things in place that'll allow us to convict your suspect if he steps out of line again. Okay?"
Pam nodded, smiling when Harley slipped a hand into hers and squeezed.
"We'll deal with the logistics today and then you may have to attend a court hearing. But it should be smooth sailing from there. Sound like a plan?"
Once again Pam nodded, earning a smile from Montoya. "I think this is a smart move, Pam. I know it's not always easy to ask for help in these situations. But you've made the right decision."
Montoya led them to the end of a long hallway and knocked on the door with a golden plaque that displayed Commissioner Gordon's name. She paused, waiting for his response, a gruff 'come in', and then led Harley and Pam into the small office.
"Commissioner, Miss Isley's here to see you," Montoya said, standing a little straighter when Gordon spun in his chair to greet them. He leaned forward against his desk and gestured for Pam and Harley to take a seat across from him.
"Good to see you again, Miss Isley. Although I wish it were under better circumstances," he said, rubbing his fingers across his mustache thoughtfully. "Thank you, Montoya."
Montoya dipped her chin and left, the door closing with a soft click. Once they were alone, Gordon leaned back in his chair, threading his hands together and appraising Pam over the rim of his glasses.
"Montoya tells me you want to move things along with a restraining order?"
"That's correct."
Gordon murmured thoughtfully. "Unfortunately, in reviewing your case again, it could be difficult to push that through. We're lacking significant evidence. All we have now is the single letter you brought in. And as you know, we haven't been able to find anything on it in terms of a DNA sample." He noticed the fall in Pam's expression and continued. "However, I know a few people. Some good judges. And Barbara's vouched for you already. I believe your story and your suspicions, Miss Isley. I'll see what strings I can pull for you as we move forward. We'll find some way to keep this guy on his toes and slam him if he tries anything."
Pam just nodded, really it didn't matter to her what they did, so long as Jay stayed far away from her.
"And what about you?"
Pam was confused until she realized that Gordon had directed his attention to Harley.
"Me? Oh, I'm… I'm just here with her," Harley wrung her hands together and stared down into her lap.
It suddenly occurred to Pam how much pressure they could put on Jay if Harley came forward with how he'd abused her. Two orders against him would be far more powerful than one. And even though Harley no longer sported any physical signs of abuse, she was still capable of sharing her psychological scars. Gordon would believe her. And it would give them a good offense against Jay. But they hadn't discussed it beforehand and Pam wasn't about to force Harley to do something she was uncomfortable with.
"You a friend?" Gordon asked gruffly.
"Um… girlfriend," Harley corrected, unable to meet Gordon's eyes. But the Commissioner continued without missing a beat.
"Then this involves you too. Have you ever come into negative contact with the man in question?"
It took Harley a moment to catch up and when she did, she looked to Pam for help. Pam could read it in her eyes. Do I tell him? At first, she wasn't sure how to respond. Yes, no?... Ultimately, it was Harley's decision. But she'd hidden Jay's behavior for so long, from Pam even, that it was also possible she just needed a push. And it was clear to Pam that telling Gordon would be better for both of them in the long run.
So, tentatively, Pam gave her a subtle nod. Harley turned back to Gordon and copied Pam. "I know him. I used to date him."
Gordon's bushy brows rose. "Oh?"
"He… He used to hit me. He'd get angry, or… bored sometimes, I guess. And he'd hit me."
The Commissioner's face hardened, his mouth forming a grim line. "He hit you…. Not an uncommon thing to hear around here, unfortunately. Domestic abuse is something we deal with a lot… And even more so with people like you, who don't come forward with the truth."
Harley ducked her head and Pam almost rose to her defense when Gordon held up a hand. "I understand why you didn't. Trust me, I've dealt with plenty of young women, sometimes men, just like you. There's always a reason. Pretty good ones too. But the important thing is that you're here now, and you've shared your experience, so we can set some things up to keep you safe as well."
Gordon opened his desk drawer, rifling through stacks of papers. "Here's what we're going to do. I'm going to set you both up with a PPO. Now the benefit of one of these is that even though it generally only applies to domestic abuse, we can put multiple people under its protection. That means both of you will have a line of defense. Pam, you believe Mr. Napier has been stalking and threatening you, and Harley has faced abuse from him in the past. Considering the timeline, it's going to be a bit harder to prove, but again… I want to help the both of you however I can. If that means busting through some red tape for you, I'll do it. Now ladies, this isn't going to be easy. There's a lot of paperwork to deal with, court hearings, all that bullshit. But I promise you, giving you both a PPO against this guy is going to be incredibly important in the future. We want to make sure you're safe. We want to make sure this idiot can't do anything to intrude in your lives. A little bit of a headache now for a whole lot of peace afterwards."
He drew two forms out of his desk and slid them towards Pam and Harley. "This is entirely optional, it's up to you how you want to proceed. But I do think this is the right way to go. And my team and I will be there with you every step of the way." He leaned back in his chair again and peered at both of them. "Well? What do you say?"
Pam looked at Harley, who met her gaze in return, and then together they reached for the forms Gordon had laid out before them.
/
The bedroom was quiet save for the occasional gasp or shuffle of sheets. Pam lay with Harley on the bed, her hands roaming across smooth skin. Her heart throbbed in her chest as she kissed down Harley's neck. Pam wasn't sure if it was the length of time they'd gone without doing this, or if she was just growing more comfortable with pushing her boundaries, but this SIT session was stimulating her more than usual. Harley's hands slipped through her hair, down her shoulders and her back until they rested lightly against her rear.
Slowly, Pam adjusted herself, pushing Harley's thighs apart and settling her slightly more generous hips between them. Pam could have sworn she felt Harley squeeze a little, her hands returning to her hair and tangling in her red locks as their mouths met in another slow kiss.
"You're so beautiful, Pam-a-lamb," she murmured when they separated, earning a gentle smile from Pam. She struggled to formulate a reply that would possibly express what she felt for Harley in this moment. But her tongue twisted in her mouth and she resorted to burying herself in Harley's neck again, kissing the sensitive spot just beneath her ear.
Harley sighed and sunk deeper into the mattress, locking her legs around Pam's waist. But Pam noticed she kept her own hips still, probably worried that moving them might be pushing Pam a little too far. In an attempt to relax her, Pam ran her hands up and down down Harley's smooth thighs, smiling when the blonde wriggled beneath her. Moving away from her neck, Pam peppered kisses across the top of her chest when suddenly Harley spoke.
"I'm sorry," she whispered and Pam drew back, confused. She propped herself on her elbows and gazed down at Harley, searching her face for an explanation.
"What are you sorry for?" She asked, brushing Harley's hair from her face. Suddenly, Harley looked very close to tears. Her face scrunched up and she bit her bottom lip. Pam had to stifle the panic that coursed through her. "What's wrong?"
"It's just unfair," she murmured. "Everything that's happened to you here. After what you went through back in Seattle… Gotham seems just as bad. With Jay and the letters and all our stupid fights. It feels like you can't catch a break."
Pam blinked, confused as to how Harley's mind had gone from their session to…all of that. Had they been weighing on her mind for some time? Or had Pam done something just now to warrant the response? Not that it really mattered at this point. If Pam had learned anything, it was that Harley could jump from topic to topic on a whim. And her worries needed resolving either way.
"I'm sorry," she whimpered again.
Pity? That thought elicited a little annoyance, but Pam quickly corrected herself. She doesn't pity you. She cares about your happiness.
"Such is life, Daffodil," she replied. "You don't need to apologize for things that are out of your control. And there are plenty positives in my coming to Gotham that far outweigh the negatives."
"Like what?" Harley asked, her bottom lip still caught between her teeth.
"Like this," she stroked a hand down Harley's side. "You. And the friends I've made here. I never had any true friends in Seattle. But now I have Selina, Joan, and Renee and Barbara and… I suppose Floyd." She smiled again when Harley giggled and kissed the tip of her nose. "And Bruce has offered me a prominent position at his company should I choose to accept it. I appreciate your sympathy, but it's not necessary. In spite of the… setbacks we've faced. I've never been happier than I am right now."
"You promise?" Harley asked, still sounding unsure.
"I promise," Pam replied, relaxing against Harley and capturing her lips in a languid kiss.
"Okay," Harley said as soon as they broke apart. "'Cuz me too. Ever since that day you walked into the tattoo parlor, you changed everything."
No, you changed everything.
Pam wasn't sure why she didn't say the words out loud. Maybe she was afraid of shattering the tenderness of the moment as Harley gazed up at her and stroked her cheeks gently. Or maybe it was because she still hadn't found the words to tell Harley how she felt. They were on the tip of her tongue, at the front of her mind, but the moment needed to be perfect. When she told Harley how she felt, how she really felt, she didn't want the threat of Jay clouding the recesses of her mind. She didn't want to be held back by the boundaries of their SIT sessions.
So in lieu of a response, she slipped her arms between Harley and the mattress and rolled until Harley rested on top of her. She sat up, the curve of her ass settled between Pam's hips, and blinked curiously. Pam smiled quietly and took Harley's hand, guiding it to her chest where it rested limply against the lace of her bra.
Again, Harley looked almost hesitant. Very rarely did Pam give her control during their sessions, preferring to set the pace herself. But Pam hoped Harley would take this as a message. An apology as well as an assurance.
I trust you.
Seeming to catch the look in Pam's eye, Harley leaned down and kissed her as her hand began to gently massage Pam's breast. And as the initial panic faded, Pam inhaled deeply and allowed herself to surrender to the moment.
She allowed herself to be vulnerable.