Your name is Doctor Scratch, and you have made another miscalculation. The last time this happened cost millions in government funding. This time however, you stand to gain plenty. You didn't underestimate the trolls' skill and power this time, only their stupidity.
Vriska Serket has begun acting out in a clear challenge to your insults from yesterday. You certainly expected her to act out, but attempting to burn down the entire city of Houston Texas is rash and foolish on a level you never expected. You never thought for a moment things could go this well.
The world now knows that aliens are amongst us. They only know of two at present, Vriska, and Terezi, as the two are currently locked in combat, with the assistance of two Striders, interestingly enough. Two is more than enough though. The damage they've done is on a breathtaking level. And with your men there to keep things escalating, the city of Houston has dissolved into a warzone.
And with so many people now terrified of the extra-terrestrial, your team is receiving funds to spare. All this money is yours to do with as you please, and you won't even need it to begin wrapping things up.
You began to make your move the moment Caleb Deuce reported to you that Vriska escaped his grasp. The one troll currently in your possession, Tavros, is being moved to a separate facility on the other side of the country, so that he cannot be found. This removes any chance of Makara saving the brown-blooded cripple.
Meanwhile, you have your men fanning out in pursuit of the other trolls. New York State is covered in a veil at the moment, so none of the trolls there can be found, which is disconcerting, but you know where the trolls in California and Washington are, and you have your men tracking them now.
The only thing standing in your way at this point is the humans. You can't help but worry about them, with the knowledge they have of you, they've been on high alert since they met the trolls. The Egberts, the Lalondes, The Striders, and the Harleys.
Those four families are all that stand between you and the keys to a whole new race.
But they also hold a great deal of potential for you.
You know that the four families are close to each other, but not all are equal in protection. The Striders are hidden in plain sight, masked within the urban sprawl, but your taunting of Vriska has drawn two of them out. The third one is likely elsewhere. The Harleys are vulnerable as long as they're not on their island, though catching them will still be difficult. The Lalondes are untraceable. The Egberts are sitting in the open though.
Catching the Egberts will require only something to draw them out. And you have the perfect bait in mind. One lone troll was seen recently, one that left the cloaking protection of Rue Lalonde's influence. You suspect it to be Kanaya Maryam, as the other two trolls in the area that aren't ghosts are near inseparable. And while Kanaya has proven lethal and hardier than the other trolls, you have something deadlier.
There was a time when you had access to an impressive group experimenting with genetics to make some rather interesting results. The majority of these experiments are lost to you, but two remain. One, Spades, is a deadly, fast, armored human, who was your best underling even before he was augmented, though somewhat unruly. Nowadays he looks after the base on the coast where Nitram is being transported.
The other minion of yours is Jack. The younger brother of Spades fused with the same DNA that created the mutant dog that now belongs to the Harleys. Jack is unstable, but capable. He is the perfect creature to collect Kanaya Maryam as bait. You expect it shall only be a matter of time before the Egberts are in your hands. And once Jack is done with Kanaya he'll be able to round up the Striders as well.
This was Vriska's fatal mistake. She thought that by causing a distraction in Houston, you would be forced to divert resources to stop her. But you know that the other trolls are not as rash as her. She is being kept busy by Terezi, the Striders, and the few men you've placed down there, despite her absurdly dangerous dice.
And while she knows you can see her, she has no way of knowing whether her plan is working. You've sent more troops down to make her think she is distracting you, and allow her to feel justified in her actions. But she doesn't remotely know the extent of your resources. All she's done is increase fear towards her kind, limiting the trolls' movements further, ensuring they have nowhere to run, and making them easier to trap. Checkmate.
Your name is Roxy Lalonde, and you are not entirely sure where you are right now. You've been travelling as fast as you can, riding Dirk's flying skateboard to trail him and Equius across the country, but with them travelling on foot and being as sneaky as possible, you don't have much of a trail to go on. Seriously, you thought being sneaky was your thing!
You have a general idea of where the two are heading, thanks to the map you stole from Kanaya, but you decided to leave it at home so you wouldn't lose the thing. You have no idea why you did that in retrospect. You were probably drunk. Well, it's you so drunkenness is more or less a certainty. Not that you're drunk right now. Drinking and flying is a big no-no, even for Roxy Lalonde!
The thing that's worrying you the most right now is that you're pretty sure you're almost at the place where the base is supposed to be, and yet you still haven't seen a single trace of Dirk or Equius. I mean really, how have you not even found a trace of Equius? He breaks everything he touches and leaves sweat marks wherever he sits down. There should be a trail of destruction from the base to your house and back!
Not that you don't think Equius is great. He's a big old softie underneath all that awkwardness and anger, and you do recognize that. But you're so irritated right now that you're feeling just a bit upset about the whole thing. Also you're going through withdrawal, because Dirk didn't install a cooler on the hoverboard. His priorities are horrible, in that they're exactly where they need to be. It does feel like the hoverboard is judging you in a way when you think too much about it though.
You're just debating whether you should land for an hour or so and rest your legs when a shadow appears on the hoverboard behind you. "Oh thank Jegus, I was starting to think I'd never find you." you breathe a sigh of relief. The only person who could possibly get on the hoverboard while you're driving it without you noticing is Dirk.
"Roxy, what the hell are you doing here?" Dirk hisses as he shifts his feet to effortlessly land the hoverboard. The two of you dismount in a clearing, where Equius is sitting on a rock, sweating and muttering about towels.
"I am here to assist you in your break-in attempt!" You announce with a grin. "I realized what you guys were up to, and realized that your team was in serious need of my sexy skills!" You wave at Equius as he makes a choking noise.
"Roxy, you are not following us into a government facility." Dirk says with a sigh, rubbing his temples in frustration. You start making the poutiest face you can muster as he continues. "This is going to be dangerous, and will require a good deal of quiet.
"Excuse me for interrupting, humans, but if it is danger that worries you, I believe miss Lalonde is more than capable of coping." Equius speaks matter-of-factly as he walks between you. "As for stealth, I have seen Roxy turn invisible with ease. She could be an asset." Aww yes, Equius is awesome when he's not trying to kill you!
"You weren't exactly looking all too stealthy on my hoverboard." Dirk says bitterly. "I should just program that thing to stop other riders."
"You and I both know I'd just hack into it." You smirk triumphantly. "Besides, your hoverboard doesn't have a computer."
"I know." Dirk stares flatly at you. "I was being ironic."
"Anyways, I can turn invisible and walk through walls. I'm the most useful one here if we're going to be stealthy!" You conclude with a nod.
"I've been wondering how you were getting into the alcohol." Dirk glares at you, and you realize you just completely blew it. Dirk does not like you drinking, so letting slip how you're getting your drink on is not wise. Also, the look of anger and disappointment he gives you when you drink cuts even deeper than the looks your little sister can give.
"Roxy's vile habit of polluting her body with soporifics, loathsome though it may be, is a matter best left for another time. It would be more expedient if we were to move in on the base for the time being." Equius states firmly as he looks to the south. "I expect that we are no more than a few miles away. Let us put our inadequacies aside, at least for tonight."
Aww Equius, you used to be cool. Like two minutes ago you were cool, and now you're all bluh. Though he did get Dirk to stop glaring at you, so you guess you can let this slide. Slide in this case meaning you give him a look that says pretty clearly "don't you go talking to me about inadequacies, buddy." Equius responds by looking away and muttering about towels. Who is the best at making people not want to deal with your issues? You are!
You'd say that sounded better in your head, but that line was definitely not even said aloud. You have such a headache. Sobriety is overrated.
Actually, you've been thinking sobriety isn't a terrible idea, but withdrawal symptoms are definitely not what you need to be dealing with right now.
Dirk has already moved ahead while you were lost in thought. Equius is looking back at you, but he's at the edge of the clearing as well. "Miss Lalonde, we must stay low and make haste moving forward. Will you be able to keep up with our speed, or do you require me to carry you?"
You try not to make a face, you really do, but while you don't really hold any ill feelings towards Equius, the thought of touching his sweaty anything is very gross to you. "Sorry big guy, but I'm gonna pass on that. If I fall behind, I fall behind, but I'll be damn sure to go the right way." Equius frowns, though without seeing his eyes you can't tell if he's annoyed or offended. Probably both. Either way though, he nods curtly and rushes into the underbrush, and holy shit, how does somebody that big move so silently?
You grab a bottle of aspirin you've been keeping in your back pocket and swallow a couple dry, then run after them as fast as you can. It doesn't take much time before they're far ahead of you. And not much time after that before they're out of sight.
Your name is Jake English, and life has been pretty darn spiffy for you as of late. You and your family have been having a ripsnorter of a time sailing along the coast of the old Americas, and have spent the last bit of your time moving with some new comrades: three trolls, who have been quite happy for the shelter and have been eagerly accompanying you on your adventure.
The gentlemen are maintaining a bit of the old banter about it, but you're quite sure they are simply putting on a fanciful charade to maintain their pride. Much like the Striders, with their dadblasted ironic veils that they always hunker behind. The young madam on the other hand, is bally well chipper about the whole venture, and has struck up a camaraderie with your younger sister.
It's just as well that everyone is so aces with the situation, because your dear old Grandpop Harley is not all too keen on letting your new friends vamoose. Ever since your sister decided to unleash the full weight of her lasspluck on him regarding the use of his precious blunderbuss on the trolls he has insisted that he keeps them under his scrutiny.
At the moment your grandpa is doing just that, steering the ship across open waters, while Jade and Feferi chat below deck, and Eridan and Sollux sit on deck. The two are currently recovering from another fit of seasickness, which is quite the humdinger of a laugh in your opinion, particularly because Eridan is supposedly a denizen of the briny deep himself! The two of them are pretty much completely catawampus at the moment.
Your Grandpop doesn't particularly seem to give a hoot that the two are discombobulated at the moment though, as he's watching them like a hawk. You've been pondering whether the distrust may be the result of their perusing of the computers at the base, as that's what set the man on the train of thought that the trolls were knowledge pilfering rapscallions. It's certainly true that Mister Captor has been trying to jimmy information from him since then, though neither is willing to talk to you about it. Really, the two of them are both being very inscrutable about the whole thing.
Several hours later, you're stopping for fuel, and your grandpa has gone into town to fetch supplies. It's been several days since you last went on land, and you feel rather sympathetic towards your wards, whom are currently left with no choice but to hide below deck until you can be off again. Jade is doing her best to keep them all collected and happy in the meantime, though you know some dry land would be good for them.
You're debating requesting a rest stop for them at an island or something, so that they can get themselves collected, but you do hate to delay when the call of adventure is tantalizing you. Plus, it won't be too long now before you've reached Washington, where your good chums John and Jane are living, and you know Jade has been downright giddy to visit them. Well, it will likely be a few weeks, but when you've been sailing from the middle of the Pacific Ocean that hardly seems like much!
A flash of movement catches your eye from across the way, and you see a chap dressed in black strolling briskly along the pier. He is leaving a boat (also black) with at least four other men dressed similarly, and the lot of them are a pitch-black shadow on the water. Something about it looks rather familiar to you, but you can't quite place it.
A large hand claps you on the shoulder, and your hand immediately moves to the pistols you keep concealed at your hips before you realize it's your grandfather. Of course being the savvy gent that he is, you find yourself locked in a chokehold before you can unholster your trusty arms. Honestly, your grandfather is so friggin on the ball you swear it's impossible to get the drop on him. Given how trigger-happy your family is that's probably for the best though!
"We seem to be in quite a pinch, my boy." Grandpa Harley says in a low tone. "I have noticed a selection of curmudgeonly cads that appears to have been tailing our fine vessel all the way from Ventura to here. Also, I have found something rather troubling in the paper as well." He hands you an article and moves to unmoor the ship, muttering a warning in a low tone as Jade moves up to the deck and smiles at you. "Keep your wits about you, lad. Mustn't worry Jade."
You peruse the article your grandpa gave you briefly, and feel your blood run cold. It would seem that these trolls have been pulling the wool over your eyes as to the nature of their kind. The article you're reading is about a troll that has turned a large city into a warzone. You see Jade peering over at you curiously and hastily toss the paper into the bay.
"What was that, Jake?" Jade asks suspiciously as you climb aboard the vessel.
You chuckle nervously and try to wave her off. "Nothing at all, just a bit of the old political banter and whatnot."
Jade's look of suspicion shifts to irritation, and you have to inwardly curse your inability to tell a decent fib. "Jake, you may have changed your last name to sound more like some kind of silly secret agent, but that doesn't mean I can't see right through you. Fess up."
Sometimes you really miss the good old days when Jade was young, carefree, and trusting. The Striders really have been a pretty bad influence on her in a lot of ways. Though you can't really fault her for her sharpness. You've picked up a few things from your wilier Internet companions as well though. For instance, Rose taught you that where a lie doesn't work, half-truths often will.
"Well dag nab it Jade, I suppose you've caught me red-handed." You tug at your collar and chuckle sheepishly. "The article wasn't the issue, but there is something bothering me."
You feel the boat shift underneath you, and feel yourself relaxing a bit. That's one humdinger of a pickle you can stop worrying about for now. You look back and see the man from before at the entrance to the pier. He's waving with a casual smirk, which is far more worrying than it probably should be. It doesn't distract you from what Jade is saying though.
"Let me guess, you're worrying about Dirk again." You whirl around to face her and see her smirking slyly at you. "He's always getting flustered about something."
Nope. You are not touching that one with a ten-foot pole, especially not with the myriad of more important issues to deal with. "Jesus Christopher Kringlefucker Jade, I am absolutely not talking about that sort of thing with my little sister!"
Jade sighs and rolls her eyes. "Fine, stew in your romantic mess for all I care. But one of these days you're going to have to wake up and realize I'm not a little kid anymore." She disappears below deck, leaving you alone with your worries.
You're glad she wrote everything off as relationship issues. As devilfucking awkward as that little dialogue was, you think it was probably better than your original plan to tell her about your suited pursuers. You see your grandpa nodding at you in approval and know he's in agreement.
You can't help but worry about the article though. Not only because it means that the refugees you are sheltering below deck may be secretly hostile, but also because Jade's reminded you of something very troubling. The city of Houston, where the troll has caused all of this destruction, is where the Strider family takes up residence. The next time you hear from Dave or Dirk may be the last. Assuming you haven't heard the last of them already.
You stare out over the expanse of ocean to your right and find yourself wishing you were back on your island, roaming the forests and hunting the wild beasts that are about. Life was simple then, a mess of silliness and adventure. Or so you thought. The sudden developments have you questioning whether you really understood what adventuring meant. Or whether the adventure you're heading into is something you've ever wanted at all.
Notes:
Jade will be elaborated on soon enough, as I realize the way she's acted to now in the story could be seen as out of character. It's mostly about growth, and how ridiculous her family and childhood are. As for Jake, well he's as straightforward and dopey as ever really. If anything, having Grandpa Harley around only makes him more of a complete and total Jake. There's really no better word for it, is there?