Harley woke slowly, a little disoriented. Her head was fuzzy and her body light; she felt as if she could float right off the bed. Slowly, memories of the night before came flooding back to her, one incredible moment after another. Part of her was convinced that last night had been a dream. A wonderful, powerful dream. And then she shifted and felt the sheets slide against her naked skin and a delicious tingle flew down her spine.
Harley glanced over at Pam, who lay facing her, her shoulders rising and falling slowly as she slept. Carefully, Harley reached out and traced her fingers along Pam's jaw, counting the faint freckles on her cheeks. Last night had been the most emotionally intense experience of Harley's life. It wasn't just sex, Harley knew all too well what that felt like. Pam had made love to her in every sense of the word. She had felt sensations that never, in her wildest dreams, did she ever think she'd feel. She'd wanted it, wanted Pam, for so long, no matter how hard she'd tried to convince herself otherwise. And it had been so worth the wait, so good. The way Pam touched her… in the end it had brought Harley to tears.
She remembered her confession last night, and the look on Pam's face. The mask of concern that melted into adoration as soon as Harley had found the breath to explain herself. And then she'd held Harley as she cried, until both of them fell into a peaceful sleep.
Turning on her side, Harley squirmed closer to Pam, resting one hand on her hip, reveling in the feel of her soft skin. She closed her eyes and pressed a brief kiss to Pam's nose, giggling when she wrinkled it in protest.
A moment later, Pam's green eyes opened, still clouded from sleep. But they cleared as she took in Harley's face and a drowsy smile spread across her lips.
"G'morning," Harley whispered, afraid of shattering the tender moment if she spoke any louder.
Pam didn't respond at first, she squeezed her eyes shut, and when she opened them again, Harley could see a strange look deep inside them. For a moment, she panicked. Was Pam feeling the aftershock rather than the afterglow? What if last night had been too fast? What if she really hadn't been ready? Did she regret what they'd done?
But then Pam silenced her fears when she snaked her arm around Harley's waist and pulled her close, warm lips colliding with hers.
Harley melted into her embrace, caressing Pam's face. She was starving for Pam's affection, like last night hadn't been enough. It only made her hungrier, more in love, more dedicated to the woman lying next to her.
"Thank you," she blurted once the kiss had ended. Pam blinked, clearly confused. She propped herself up on one elbow, the sheets sliding away from her chest, and Harley couldn't stop her eyes from straying.
"Why are you thanking me?" she asked, a chuckle in her voice.
"For... Last night. It was… You were… I've never…" Harley knew she was just repeating the confession she'd made last night, but everything still felt so raw. She felt naked-which… she was- but also exposed and vulnerable. And while she trusted Pam, it was still a scary realization. Pam had seen the deepest side of her, the broken side that she hid behind the mask of constant happiness. And yet, Pam was still here. She hadn't run, she hadn't judged Harley.
"Don't thank me," Pam interrupted, cupping Harley's face and stroking her thumb across her cheek. "It wasn't a favor. It was…" she blew out an amused breath. "…a long time coming."
Harley snickered, "Coming."
Pam rolled her eyes and lay against the pillow again, resting her forehead against Harley's. "What am I going to do with you…"
"Hey," Harley began, ignoring that particular question. "Last night wasn't… too much, was it? You're okay, right? And remember, no lies, you have to be honest."
Pam smiled, although her eyes remained closed. "I'm more than okay, Daffodil. I told you I was ready, and I was. That hasn't changed this morning."
"Good," Harley breathed, genuinely relieved. "Then can we, maybe, do that again sometime? Preferably… soon?"
Pam opened her eyes again, gazing into Harley's with that same look that she hadn't been able to describe. She seemed hesitant, her jaw twitching like she was preparing to say something. But she didn't. She remained silent, her eyes continuing to roam Harley's face.
Beginning to squirm with anxiety, Harley quickly broke the silence. "We don't have to, if you don't want to. We can wait. I'm good at waiting, remember?" She tried to giggle but it came out like more of a strangled choking noise and still, Pam kept her mouth shut, that look in her eyes growing more prevalent. "It's totally your call. You decide when and what we do, I'm okay with that. I mean it-"
Then Pam stretched up, her body sliding against Harley's and pressed an affectionate kiss to her forehead, murmuring against her skin, "I love you."
"-Because last night was amazing. But as much as I want… you. I want you to be comfortable more, so- Wait, what?"
Harley's breath hitched in her throat and the world flipped upside down around her. She didn't have a chance to respond, or even think, before Pam was kissing her again, tenderly.
"Wait," Harley pushed her away, struggling to form a coherent thought. Pam looked concerned, a little hurt even, that Harley had rejected her. And Harley saw her begin to close off in the way her face hardened. Quickly, to remedy the situation, she spluttered, "Y-you love me?"
Pam's expression softened again and she nodded, biting her lip. Harley couldn't begin to unravel the tangle of emotions rolling through her. She'd known she was in love with Pam for ages… But to hear that her feelings were reciprocated. To hear the words coming from Pam's perfect lips. It was almost too much to take in.
"You love me." It wasn't a question this time, so much as it was Harley trying to understand the words. "Can you…" She hesitated, embarrassed by her own request. "Can you say it again?"
Pam's smile widened and she wriggled across the mattress, pulling Harley close until their bodies were pressed together. Once Harley was close enough to count the golden specks in Pam's green eyes, she said it again. "I love you, Harley Quinn. Harleen Francis Quinzel. All of you. I've loved you for a long time… And… I'm sorry it's taken me until now to tell you."
"No, no, no, no," Harley shook her head rapidly, raising a hand to stroke Pam's cheek. "Don't you dare apologize. Hearin' it now is enough." And then she realized she'd skipped one very important thing. Harley wet her lips with a brief flick of her tongue and whispered, "I love you too."
The grin on Pam's face filled Harley with indescribable joy. And she thought maybe this was what real love felt like. Caring so much for the other person that their happiness was yours. It was making sacrifices and standing at their side. It was fighting and forgiving and enjoying every part of them, even the broken parts. For the first time in her life, the words felt real. And they made her want to cry again. But Pam was already rolling Harley underneath her, her thigh slotting itself between Harley's legs as she kissed her, deep and warm. She pulled back slightly to gaze down at Harley, eyes roaming her face in a silent question. Harley nodded, her mouth going dry as she felt Pam's lean into her thigh, pressing against Harley, who rocked her hips in response. She reached for Pam, threading her fingers through her hair and pulling her down for another kiss.
I love you, I love you, I love you, she thought, the words playing in her head over and over as Pam slipped a hand between their bodies, her fingers sliding through Harley's cleft. She caught Harley's earlobe between her teeth as her fingers began rubbing slow circles on her clit.
"Wait…" Harley gasped, fighting not to lose herself in the pleasure. "Pam… Stop."
Pam pulled back immediately, bracing herself on her elbows and gazing down at Harley with concern. Harley ignored the arousal tingling in her belly and pushed on Pam's shoulders until their positions had been reversed.
"Last night was all about me," she explained, moving to straddle Pam. "I want this morning to be all about you."
Harley saw a flicker of hesitation in Pam's green eyes and leaned down to kiss her forehead, hands rising to cup both cheeks.
It's okay. Trust me. I won't hurt you.
"Red…?" she murmured. "Can I touch you?"
Pam didn't answer verbally, surging upwards instead and capturing Harley's lips in a kiss that was all teeth and tongue and wanting. Harley let her fingers trail down Pam's body, feeling the shiver that passed through her. She stopped just above the waistband of Pam's panties, drumming her fingers against smooth skin. But Pam didn't stop her. She slipped her arms around Harley's waist and moved her kisses to her chest. Satisfied with her wordless consent, Harley dipped her fingers into Pam's waiting wetness, both of them gasping when Harley made contact. Pam tensed and then relaxed just as quickly when Harley began to stroke her, moaning quietly.
Harley buried her face in Pam's red hair, attempting to compose herself. She'd wanted control this morning, but was already losing it... Because finally getting to touch Pam this intimately was sort of blowing her mind.
Pam moaned again, a little more loudly this time, and pressed her face into the crook of Harley's neck, panting lightly as the blonde continued to stroke her.
Harley cupped her cheek with one hand, lifting Pam's face until she could look her in the eye.
"I love you, Pamela," she murmured and Pam smiled, a bright beaming smile that assured Harley she was alright. That she really could fight the fear now.
Harley lowered her to the mattress, kissing her cheek and then her nose and finally her lips, her fingers continuing to slide slowly through Pam's sex. Pam dragged her nails down Harley's back as the tension finally melted from her body. Arching into her touch, Harley placed one more heated kiss on Pam's lips and then slid down her body, mouth latching onto Pam's nipple. She wasn't sure which one of them moaned at the contact, but she heard it clearly, even over the roar of blood rushing in her ears. Pam's hands wove their way into Harley's hair and tugged, and Harley's eyes slid shut, although her mouth and tongue continued to work.
Even though it was Harley's turn this morning, she felt close to the edge already. Watching Pam relax, close her eyes, give into the pleasure, was about as arousing as receiving it herself. Finally, allowing herself to be vulnerable. It was a privilege and Harley wasn't about to abuse it.
She let her free hand wander down Pam's side, nails dragging along her soft skin, not with the intention to hurt her but hard enough for Pam to feel the catch. Pam's breath hitched as Harley trailed her fingernails down over her belly, scraping lightly around her navel. Her green eyes shot open and she grabbed Harley's shoulders, pulling her up for a wet kiss.
Harley groaned against her lips, rocking her hips against Pam's thigh as their tongues tangled, fingers continuing to stroke her. She was panting heavily by the time Pam pulled away to let her breath. Without waiting another moment-for fear of being sidetracked by Pam's mouth again-Harley placed a brief kiss on her nose and then slid down her body once more, wiggling until she rested between Pam's thighs.
Harley tugged on the hem of Pam's panties, sliding them down her long legs and tossing them over her shoulder unceremoniously. Then Harley placed her hands on the inside of Pam's thighs, gently pushing them apart only to be met with resistance. She looked up, confused, her eyes finding Pam's. And she was surprised to see a look of fear there.
Releasing Pam's thighs, Harley rose back onto her hands and knees, trailing tiny kisses up Pam's body until she reached her lips again.
"Are you alright?" She breathed the words they'd asked one another over and over during their SIT sessions. "Do you want me to stop?" It was almost funny, Harley thought, to be echoing the same words Pam had used last night. And odd, that they both found themselves in the same place when it came to intimacy. Broken, a little scared, but wanting and willing.
Pam shook her head, although it was clear from her expression that she was still uncertain.
"We don't have to do this," Harley insisted, ignoring the disappointment that stabbed at her. Again, Pam shook her head, although her voice trembled slightly when she spoke.
"I want to."
Harley allowed her hand to wander between Pam's legs again. "Do you trust me?"
Pam hesitated, her wide eyes searching Harley's. Harley kissed her cheek and then her neck, sucking on the soft skin, smiling inwardly at the marks that she'd already left there. She heard Pam whimper and rose to look into her face again.
"Red?" Her question had still gone unanswered, and she wasn't about to force Pam to do anything she was uncomfortable with.
"I trust you," Pam replied. Harley smiled, letting her nose brush Pam's, and began making her way down her body again.
This time, when she settled between Pam's thighs, Harley was able to ease them apart. She took a shuddering breath, her eyes falling away from Pam's, and she licked her lips before bowing her head.
Haley ran her tongue up the length of her sex slowly, once, twice, three times, ending each stroke by suckling gently on Pam's sensitive nub. Pam gasped softly, her hips rising to meet each of Harley's strokes. Harley continued with slow licks, until Pam began to writhe, and then Harley wrapped her arms around Pam's thighs and began working her clit with quick flicks of her tongue.
The sensation was incredible. Harley was already losing herself in Pam's taste, in her scent, and then Pam's hands were in her hair, fisting and tugging, hard, and Harley's eyes nearly rolled into the back of her head.
You've gotta kink, Quinzel.
She ignored her inner voice, moaning against Pam's center when she pulled again. The resulting vibration had Pam fisting the sheets in one hand, her back arching slightly as Harley's tongue continued its relentless assault.
Adjusting her grip, Harley pushed Pam's thighs up, hooking them over her shoulders, her tongue reaching deeper. Pam tossed her head back against the pillow, entirely lost in her own pleasure now. She groaned and sighed and tangled her fingers in Harley's hair and then the sheets, and back again, until her body began to shake with the intensity of her building orgasm.
Releasing one of Pam's thighs, Harley slid two fingers along Pam's slit, silently preparing her before pushing them inside. Harley groaned again, unable to contain herself. Pam was so warm and wet, and her walls pulsed and tightened around Harley's fingers.
She pumped them slowly, listening for any sign of discomfort from Pam, but there was nothing but her pleasured moans. It didn't take much longer. In fact, Harley thought it all happened rather quickly.
She sucked on Pam's clit and curled her fingers deep inside. Pam's wall jerked around Harley's fingers and she jolted on the bed, her body trembling fiercely as she came in a series of breathy whimpers.
Harley didn't want to let go. She continued swirling her tongue around Pam's clit, curling her fingers, milking everything she could out of Pam's orgasm.
Finally, when Pam's collapsed on the bed, her body twitching, Harley gently removed her fingers and placed a final kiss on Pam's center before crawling up the bed to lie beside her. Pam's hands had risen to cover her face and her chest still heaved as she struggled to normalize her breathing.
"Pam?" Harley slid an arm around her waist, nervous now that she still hadn't spoken. "You okay?" Her voice cracked weakly.
Please be okay. That was… incredible.
Pam nodded, her face still hidden behind her hands.
"I'm proud of you," Harley murmured, sidling closer to Pam until her head rested on the same pillow. "After everythin' that happened to you. After Woodrue and Jay and… me. And I'm not sayin' that because I don't think you're strong. You're the strongest person I know. It's not pity." She reached up and brushed a few strands of hair away from Pam's covered face. "I knew you'd beat this, beat him, eventually. And you did. And I'm a part of it. And I can't… I don't… "
Harley felt tears coming to her eyes.
Oh come on… Don't do this now! This is about her not you.
Finally, Pam lowered her hands and Harley saw the glassy sheen in her eyes. She turned onto her side, wrapping her arms around Harley and rolling until they lay in a tangle of limbs and sweat damp skin. Pam pressed her lips to Harley's ear and then her cheek and her brow, and just below her eye. She didn't say anything, but Harley didn't need her to. She could feel the joy radiating off Pam, the high, the love.
"Was it okay?" Harley murmured, her voice muffled by Pam's hair. Pam elected to stay hidden in Harley's neck, kissing her there, lips tender and soft. After another moment of silence, she finally pulled back and graced Harley's cheek with the back of her hand.
"I'm glad it was you."
"Glad what was me?" Harley asked.
Pam smiled and ran a thumb across Harley's bottom lip. "I'm glad it was you who saved me."
/
"What's with you?" Floyd asked, as Harley practically skipped through the front door of the tattoo parlor.
"Nothin'," she beamed, giggling at the befuddled expression Floyd gave her.
"No, seriously," Chato cut in. "You're happier than normal and that's just too fucking much."
Harley shrugged, her smile growing wider. "What, I'm not allowed to be happy anymore?"
"Not this happy."
Suddenly, understanding dawned on Floyd's face and he snorted loudly. "Girl just got laid."
"Floyd!" Harley gasped, her hand flying to her chest. She broke a moment later and giggled again. "You're right."
Chato shook his head and turned away, but Floyd held up his hand, gesturing Harley towards him. "Bring it in."
Harley bounced to his side, accepting his fist bump and grinning widely at him.
"I think you owe me for filling the role of your wingman," he said, taking a seat at his workbench.
"Wingman?"
"Hell yeah. Who was the one who told you to go tell Plant Lady how you felt?"
"You, I guess."
"Damn straight. And who was the one who helped you move into her apartment?"
Harley narrowed her eyes. "You."
Floyd bounced his brows. "That's right. And who was the one who gave you that advice when the two of you were on the outs?"
"Okay!" Harley threw her arms in the air. "You're my wingman!"
"That's all I'm sayin'," he said with a smirk. "So next time I need a favor, you pay up."
"Is that how bein' a wingman works?"
"That's how it's gonna work for me."
Harley waved him away and moved to her work station.
"Yo, Harley," Floyd called to her, and she turned to face him again. "It's uh… It's good to see you like this…. Especially after… You know." He jerked his head towards Jay's office.
She hadn't expected such sentimentality from Floyd, and it threw her for a second. "T-thank you."
Floyd pursed his lips and cleared his throat. Harley did the same, a quiet smile playing on her lips.
Thank you…you grumpy ass teddy bear.
Suddenly, the front door swung open and Harley saw Officer Montoya entering the shop.
"Renee!" she hurried to the officer's side. "You uh… here for a tattoo?
Renee chuckled. "Afraid not, Harley." She held up a packet of papers. "I'm here to serve Mr. Napier his papers."
"Oh." Harley wasn't sure how to feel about that. Part of her was excited to finally establish a line of defense against Jay. The other was afraid of being here when he found out.
He can't hurt you. Renee is literally making sure of that right now.
It was strange to think how far she'd come. A few short months ago, she'd be falling at Jay's feet. And now she was serving him a court order to stay the hell away from her.
"Is he here?" Renee drew Harley out of her thoughts.
She jerked her thumb towards his office. "In the back."
Renee nodded firmly and made her way down the hall, Harley staring after her.
"What the hell's going on?" Floyd asked, coming to stand beside her.
"Pam and I filed a protection order against Jay," she explained.
"Damn." Floyd sounded genuinely impressed. He ran his fingers over his chin in thought. "Can't wait to see how he takes that."
They both heard a shout from the back room.
"Not well apparently," Harley murmured as a devious grin grew on Floyd's face.
"Follow me," he said, taking Harley's hand and leading her down the hall. He took her to the office door and held a finger to his lips when Harley opened her mouth to object. Relenting out of sheer curiosity, Harley pressed her ear against the door and listened.
"You can't do this to me." Jay's voice. "You have no proof."
"Actually we do," Montoya replied calmly. "And if you read the documents you'll see exactly what we have against you."
"And Pamela Isley is behind this?"
"She's the one who filed the PPO, yes. She's also the one protected under those papers."
So don't try anything. It went unsaid.
Jay barked a laugh. "You can't tell me she actually believes that I'm going to take this lying down."
Renee didn't respond but Harley didn't need to see her to sense her anger.
"The papers detail your court date. I would suggest you bring your best defense."
"Oh, I'll be there," Jay replied, his voice suddenly cool and collected. "And I'll be ready."
"Then I'll leave you to the rest of your day." There was a thud of boots against the floor and Harley and Floyd scrambled away from the door, tripping over one another as they rushed down the hall. Unfortunately, they weren't fast enough.
"What were you two doing?" They turned slowly to see Montoya standing behind them, hands on her hips as Jay's office door swung shut behind her.
"Uh…" Harley struggled for an excuse and came up empty. "Eavesdropping?"
Montoya sighed, although a small smile tugged at the corner of her mouth.
"Mr. Napier's papers have been served," she informed them unnecessarily. "You shouldn't have any more trouble with him, Harley. And if you do… Well, he gets to deal with me."
"That bastard going to jail?" Floyd asked.
"If he steps out of line, it's definitely a possibility," Montoya said. She jerked her chin and led them both down the hall. "I'll be around to check up on things, Harley. If you need help, don't hesitate to call me."
She smiled, bid them goodbye and stepped out the door. Harley and Floyd stood in silence, taking it all in.
"Wow." Floyd blew out a breath. "Finally putting Jay in his place. It's about damn time."
He clapped Harley on the shoulder and then left her to her thoughts. Harley pulled out her phone after a moment and sent a quick text to Pam.
Renee stopped by jay officially has the papers
Her reply was immediate.
Good. Are you alright?
Yup! pretty excited actually…
Are you safe?
course I am Jay can't touch me…us…anymore remember?
I remember. :)
A grin broke out on Harley's face when Pam sent her the emoji.
you're adorable see u at home?
Of course. ;) ;) ;)
Harley's grin widened as she pocketed her phone. No Jay, no fights, no miscommunications. In love. Things had never looked brighter.
/
"Question."
"Yes?"
"Why the fuck are you wearing a turtleneck?" Selina asked as she and Pam took a seat at a corner table in Barbara's coffee shop.
"Is there a reason I shouldn't be?" Pam returned.
"No, except for the fact that you've worn a turtleneck sweater only ONE other time in the many years I've known you. And you ended up burning it because Alec Holland said you looked like an actual turtle… To be fair, you did have some massive glasses back when you were in school."
Pam flushed, the memory filling her with equal amounts anger and embarrassment. "That was years ago. I'm not so petty as to let it keep me from wearing a shirt, Selina. It's… I'm trying something new."
Selina narrowed her eyes. "You're a terrible liar."
"I'm not lying!"
"Then roll the collar down," Selina challenged.
"Wha—why? What is that going to prove?"
"That you're hiding something," Selina said, leaning forward on the table. "And I'll bet I already know what it is." She bounced her eyebrows and grinned.
"Stop acting like a child," Pam admonished.
"I will if you show me what's under that turtleneck."
"You're not helping your cause."
Selina held up her hands and sat back. "Fine. Okay. You win. You're just making a fashion statement. I believe you."
Pam just barely held herself back from breathing an audible sigh of relief. Suddenly, Selina lunged forward, hooking her fingers over the lip of Pam's collar and tugging it down before she could react. Selina's eyes grew wide and she smiled a toothy grin, plopping back in her seat when Pam shoved her away.
"What do you think you're doing?" she hissed, adjusting the sweater to cover the dark marks on her neck again.
"I knew it," Selina hissed back. "Things got hot and heavy last night. Happy Birthday to you."
Pam's jaw clenched and she took a furious sip of her tea. Selina was watching her, amusement sparkling in her eyes.
"How far did things get?"
Pam had to fight to stop herself from slamming her cup back down onto the table. "It's really not any of your business," she gritted.
Selina's smile only grew. "Pretty far if those hickeys are anything to go by."
"Would you stop?"
"I'm just curious!" she relented. "You two have been working a long time to get past those blocks of yours." Pam nodded but remained silent, tapping her fingernails against her ceramic mug. "So…. Far?"
"….Yes," Pam admitted after a significant pause.
"Pretty far?" Selina pushed.
Pam nodded and the blush that colored her cheeks finally tipped Selina off.
"Oh my god…Did you?… You did. You two had sex!" she exclaimed her voice growing in volume.
"Tell the whole café, would you? I don't think Barbara heard," Pam spat, hands clenching around her mug.
"Oh, good point! Hey Babs-" Selina turned, hand cupped around her mouth when Pam reached out and yanked her back around. "Ow… Jesus."
"What is your problem?"
"Okay, Okay, I'm sorry," Selina whispered, calming and straightening the shirt sleeve Pam had wrinkled. "I got carried away… But Pam! This is fantastic!"
A small smile tugged at the corners of Pam's mouth despite her irritation.
"Seriously, after everything the two of you have been through, more specifically, after what you've been through… For you to finally trust her enough to well… to do some aggressive cuddling. That's great news!" Selina paused. "So how was it?"
"You're really toeing the line today," Pam replied, jaw clenching.
"I'm your best friend! You tell me these things."
"Is that how it works?" Pam smirked, raising a brow.
Selina threw her arms in the air. "Yes! Tell me! Or I really will tell the whole café."
Pam took a moment to ponder her answer. She considered the marks hidden underneath her collar, the ones on her inner thighs, the lightly raised red lines that trailed down her back. Her mind flitted back to that morning, the pivotal moment when fear had become bliss. When the dark memories of her past had been wiped away by Harley' words and gentle touch. She recalled how patient she'd been, how attentive. How Pam's comfort had meant more to her than her own pleasure. It was something she'd never felt before, something she never thought she could feel. And she wasn't sure how to convey that feeling to Selina. So she settled on…
"Good."
Selina's jaw dropped. "Good? That's all you're giving me is good? Pam, come on! You've waited for this for well over a year. And all you've got to say is 'good'?"
Pam shrugged.
"'Good'," Selina echoed bitterly. "God, I know you don't exactly wear your heart on your sleeve, but you'd think sleeping together would have opened the doors a little."
Heaving a sigh, Pam set her mug aside and met Selina's gaze. "It was wonderful." Selina leaned forward, excited now. "She was wonderful. Gentle, sweet. Everything I didn't know I needed. And after we made love we-"
"Hold up!" Selina snorted, waving her hands up. "Made love? What are you, 90-years-old?"
Pam scowled. "You are moments away from receiving a severe third degree burn," she said, pointing at her tea.
"Made love. Got it," Selina reiterated, miming zipping her lips.
"After the first time-"
Selina's eyes bulged. "The first time? How many-"
She seemed to recognize her mistake immediately and hunched back in her chair, lips locked, shoulders quivering. Pam waited a few seconds to see if she would keep her word before speaking again. "Afterwards, she told me how much it meant to her. With Jay she'd never… I mean, he had never…"
"I got it," Selina interrupted, her expression dark. "Bastard."
"And this morning," Pam continued. "I was finally able to tell her how much she meant to me."
Selina was silent, clearly waiting for more.
"I… told her I loved her," Pam continued haltingly, suddenly feeling very warm under the sweater.
"Were you able to…" Selina suddenly hesitated, her lips twisting. "I mean, could you…? That is, did you let her…."
Pam had to smile; it wasn't often that Selina struggled for words. Especially not after she'd spent the majority of their conversation, up until this point, flustering Pam.
"Did I let her what?" Pam teased.
Selina shifted in her seat, frowning. "You know what I'm asking. Were you able to let her… take the lead?"
Pam paused, her eyes flickering around the room as if she were afraid someone would overhear them. "Yes."
"That's huge." Selina expression melted into a gentle smile. "Pam, that's amazing." She reached across the table and placed her hand over Pam's, redrawing her attention. "You've come a long way since Seattle."
Pam didn't have the words to respond, she simply nodded and fought the lump rising in her throat.
Sensing her discomfort, Selina moved her hand away and took a loud sip of her coffee. "Mushy shit aside... Point is, you got laid! You're in love! Harley's probably bouncing off the walls! When's the wedding?"
"Wedding?" Pam spluttered, nearly choking on her tea. "I don't think we're nearly ready for anything like that."
"But someday, right?" Selina insisted. "I mean, you love her, she loves you, you're not planning on leaving her soooo…. that's the inevitable conclusion, am I right? Or did I miss a step?"
Pam stared down at her cup. Selina wasn't necessarily wrong, but everything still felt so new between them. They had time. She wasn't about to ruin a good thing because Selina was being pushy…. And mildly intrusive. Even still, the idea wasn't an unwelcome one. In fact, it made her glow. Marrying Harley….
"Pam?" Selina was staring at her, obviously confused by her sudden silence.
"Someday," she said, a small smile playing on her lips. Selina's features softened again and then she regained her edge.
"I'd better be one of your guys' maid of honor or I swear to god…"
"I'm not so sure," Pam mused, raising her cup to her lips. "Barbara seems like a far less overbearing candidate."
Selina's mouth opened and then she whirled around to glare at Barbara (who sat behind the counter, completely unsuspecting) and then turned back to Pam, her eyes narrowing when she saw the smirk on her face.
"You're a bitch." She pointed an accusatory finger.
"And you're nosy and rude," Pam retorted, setting her cup down and laying one hand over the other calmly. Selina's eyes narrowed further.
"Okay…fine… No more 'intrusive' questions," she put air quotes around the word. "And you let me be in your eventual wedding party."
"Deal," Pam smiled, raising her mug again as Selina picked at the surface of the table, lips pulled into a pout.
After the silence stretched a few beats, Pam added, "Although, you are, and always were, a part of the plan anyway."
"God damn it, Pam."
/
"So," Joan began, leaning back in her chair and focusing her gaze on Harley and Pam. "Your communication has improved dramatically. No more arguments, I assume?"
Pam nodded, glancing at Harley out of the corner of her eye. The blonde was practically vibrating in her seat, bottom lip caught between her teeth as she struggled to contain herself.
"Wonderful. And your SIT sessions," Joan continued. "Have you been able to test your boundaries?"
Harley snickered despite herself and Joan looked up from her notes, giving her a perplexed look. Pam hurried to intervene before she blurted something that might embarrass them both.
"The SIT sessions won't be necessary anymore," Pam explained coolly, crossing her hands in her lap.
Joan's eyes narrowed. "The last time the two of you decided to put an end to the SIT sessions, it resulted in an enormous argument. Are you sure dropping them again won't be an issue?"
"I'm sure," Pam said. Harley squirmed and looked back and forth between Pam and Joan, practically bursting at the seams.
"Harley?" Joan noticed her barely contained excitement. "Something to say? Do you agree with Pam?"
"Oh, you bet I do," Harley grinned, bobbing her head up and down.
Joan still didn't look convinced. "Might I ask why you feel it's appropriate to stop them?"
Pam opened her mouth, prepared to explain the situation in the most delicate way she could manage, when Harley finally burst.
"Because we totally did it, that's why!" Harley bit her lip again when both Joan and Pam whipped around to look at her. She raised her shoulders in a sheepish shrug, a smile tugging at her lips. "Sorry… but we did. A few times actually. Pammy's not afraid anymore."
Joan turned her attention to Pam, clearly struggling to maintain her professionalism. "Pam? Thoughts? Do you really believe you've broken through what was holding you back?"
"I do," she said, fighting the heat that rose in her cheeks when Joan smiled.
"That's wonderful news. I'm proud of the progress the two of you have made individually and as a couple. A healthy sex life can drastically improve the strength of a relationship." Harley set her hand down on the couch, wiggling her fingers in a sign that said to Pam, 'hold me'.
"However," Joan said, watching as Pam lay her hand over Harley's. "I would still like to see the both of you for the next few months. Perhaps not as frequently. But the last thing I want is for the two of you to take a step backwards in your progress. Agreed?"
Pam nodded and Harley gave Joan a thumbs up, an enormous grin still threatening to split her face.
"Well then ladies, I'll let you go for the day."
Harley bounded out of her seat, racing for the door while Joan and Pam stood more slowly.
"Joan, I want to thank you," Pam said, pausing in the doorway. "I couldn't have gotten this far without you."
Joan studied Pam for a moment and then her face melted into a smile, eyes crinkling at the corners. "You had the power to face your fears inside you all along. All I did was help you realize it."
"Then thank you for helping me realize," Pam insisted. Joan had been there for her from the beginning, through her lowest points. She'd kick started her healing. Pam wasn't about to let the older woman off without accepting her thanks.
Seeming to sense this, Joan relented. "You're welcome. Stay strong. You've made incredible progress and I sense you haven't finished growing just yet. Keep your mind and you heart open and someday, Pam, you'll be completely free."
/
Jay threw the papers down onto his kitchen table, scowling at them as they scattered across its surface. He hadn't bothered to read past the first paragraph. He was too infuriated. He was seething. He was humiliated. Pamela Isley had thwarted him at every turn. She'd taken Harley, pulled in the police to keep him away and now this, a PPO that ensured his arrest if he was caught near her again.
She seemed untouchable and Jay couldn't stand it. He growled and turned away from the papers, beginning to pace the living room. He had a week until his court date. A week to file a motion against Pamela's accusations. But should he bother? Even if he managed to discredit the PPO, she'd find some other way to stop him.
For weeks he'd spent time memorizing her schedule, following her home, eavesdropping as Harley unloaded her worries to Floyd, finding the right moments to plant the letters. Catering them to her fears, pulling her away from Harley. He'd been meticulous, cautious, patient. And still, he'd failed.
Jay wanted revenge. He wanted to hurt her, make her bleed, crush her pride and her spirit. He needed to be cunning, crafty in how he proceeded.
He would fight her PPO, discredit her 'evidence' and while he did that… he'd find another way to destroy Pamela Isley.
And then it struck him. Pamela had a strong defense against him, but even more so than that, she had a dangerous weakness that Jay knew how to exploit. One that he was angry enough to take advantage of.
He would have to be cautious. He would make it look like an accident, like a set up. He would give it time. Lower their defenses. He could make it work. And he could crush Pamela in the process. After all, he hadn't seen Harley's name from what he'd read of the PPO. A grin spread his lips, a plan beginning to take shape in his mind. To finally put an end to the nuisance that was Pamela Isley…
He would target Harley instead.