Chapter Five

‡

Bella

It was three in the afternoon and I was sitting at home, enjoying the last few moments of my alone time. Edward, Alice, Esme, and Jasper had all gone hunting for the day. Usually we hunted as a family, but Carlisle had to work and the others had nothing to do today. I had not been in the mood, so I told Carlisle that I would go with him sometime within the next few days.

I heard the door open, and I turned around to see that Nessie was home from school. She had an armload of books, although I knew that she would not be studying from them. Due to the fact that the "medicine" that she took only slowed her physical growth down and had no effect on her intellectual growth, she was very advanced for her age. She even took honors level classes, but they did not seem to be challenging enough. Edward constantly encouraged her brilliance, expressing his wishes wanting her to go into even higher level classes, honors classes that seniors would take. However, Nessie always refused, saying that she was content in the classes that she was currently in. I figured she just wanted to try to blend in at school as much as she could—she didn't want to be regarded as someone who was much smarter than everyone else. I always smiled when I recalled this; she was exactly like me, not wanting to be the center of attention.

"Hey, Mom," she greeted me quietly.

"Hey, Ness. How was school?"

She shrugged, setting her books down on the floor as she stripped her coat and shoes. "It was okay, I suppose."

When she turned around to put her coat in the closet, I frowned. She hardly ever told me anything about school or her friends. Before we moved here, all Nessie dreamed about was going to a real high school and having real friends. But once we arrived, she realized that it was not everything that she had dreamed of, that she was too different from the kids in her school.

This was completely understandable; Nessie did not have the patience to deal with people far younger in emotional years, although she did not understand why. However, I knew that she was always nice to everyone and that she even sat with some kids at lunch in an attempt to be normal.

Even though I knew she had good reasoning behind her lack of socialization, I often found myself growing angry with her. The whole reason we moved to Washington was in order for her to have a normal life, so that she could experience being a real teenager. When she refused to have friends outside of school, it was as if our move was a waste.

When I had first suggested the idea of moving back to Washington, he had been angry. Although he had not said so to me, I knew he had wondered why I had this seemingly frivolous desire to turn our lives upside down simply so Nessie could go to high school. After a few minutes of assertive persuading on my part, he had eventually realized that it was a good idea and sincerely wanted to go through with it.

As Nessie went upstairs with her books, I recalled the day when I had announced to everyone that I wanted us to move back to Washington. We had all been sitting at Carlisle and Esme's house. After a week of practicing a well-thought out speech, I had finally felt ready to unveil a suggestion for one of the biggest changes in our lives that we had seen in years.

‡

Juneau, Alaska- 5 years ago

This was not New Hampshire. This was not Edward, Alice, Emmett, Jasper, Rosalie and I going to Dartmouth together. This was not Carlisle saving lives at a hospital nearby the campus. This was not being careful when the sun came out. This was not the way everything was supposed to turn out.

This was Alaska. This was my little girl, overtaken by amnesia, confused beyond belief. This was her forgetting who we were, who she was. This was seven years of secrets and lies, of completely secluding ourselves from the real world. This was a family who was still together, but completely hurt by the pain of having to hide who we truly were from someone who had every right to know.

This was over.

I stood in front of the entire family, excluding Nessie, who fast asleep at our house next door. I had only one thing on my mind; the very thing I was going to do anything I could to make possible.

"I want to move back to Washington," I said firmly.

Jaws dropped. Eyes widened.

"Pardon me? You want to do what?" Edward asked softly.

"I want to move back to Washington," I repeated, with even more force behind my request.

Suddenly Emmett burst into a fit of booming laughter. Usually, I loved his risible personality, but right now it was causing anger to flow through me. He stopped instantly when he realized that this was as far from a joke as possible, immediately furrowing his eyebrows with confusion as he attempted to perceive this notion. "Bella, you've got to be kidding."

"I've been thinking about this for a long time, so I would appreciate if everyone would hear me out before they say anything," I declared, making eye contact with everyone around me. I looked at Edward for a second longer than I had with everyone else, my eyes warning him not to interrupt me. I took a deep breath, ready to begin the speech I had been practicing in my head for the past week.

"Please don't get me wrong: living in Alaska has been nice. We have all gotten to go to college together. Carlisle has a nice job close to home. To be honest, when we moved here I had not thought anything would work out—I was completely miserable. But I wanted to stay strong for Nessie.

Which brings me to the reason behind my seemingly insane request: Renesmee. No one can deny how strong she has been through this entire ordeal. I cannot even begin to imagine what it would be like to wake up and discover that I could not remember anything about my life.

Nessie has been an amazing daughter, niece, and granddaughter. And now I am asking that we give her something back—I want to move back to Washington. Going to a real school, having real friends, and being a part of the real world is the only thing Nessie has ever wanted. All of you can see this, even though she never mentions it. She obsesses over those teenage fiction books. She wants to be a part of that world. And the only way she can do that is if we move away from here."

I took another deep breath and closed my eyes, thankful I was done with my opening speech but knowing it wasn't over; the hard part was about to come, an interrogation I was hoping I would not have to face.

"Are you finished, Bella?" Carlisle asked gently.

I hesitated before nodding, keeping my eyes away from my husband.

"First of all thank you for your lovely speech—I can tell that you have put a lot of thought into this," Carlisle began, his voice as calm and rational as always. "Now, I would like to say that I think your idea is a very good one. Even without her telling us, we all know that Nessie wants to move. But Bella, what you might be looking past is the question of how normal would her life be if we moved. She would certainly realize the moment we got there that we are not normal."

I took another deep breath as I recalled my argument to this valid point that I had known was going to be brought up. "Yes, I realize that. But I think we can work past it. You know more than anyone how strong our family is. And Nessie trusts every single one of us; I truly think that if we tell her not to worry about anything she grows concerned with, she will push it to the back of her mind. I believe we can handle it."

Carlisle nodded, taking in my explanation. I looked around the room—everyone else was pondering this thought as well. It stayed silent for a few minutes as everyone decided whether this would be the right thing to do for our family. Emmett was the first to speak. "I think it's a great idea," he stated boldly.

Taking my hand into hers, Alice smiled. "I agree," she said softly.

One by one, everyone else confirmed that they thought it was a good idea as well. Finally, everyone turned to Edward, who had yet to say anything. I knew he would be hurt that I had not run this by him beforehand. But I didn't want anyone talking me out of it before I presented it to the family, which he was prone to do.

Edward sighed, giving me a small smile as well; it seemed forced, but I would accept it. "I agree as well. I would love for Nessie to go to a real school. What part of Washington were you thinking?"

I explained to everyone my brilliant plan of moving to Port Angeles so that we could be near Jacob but away from Forks, where people would recognize us. To my amazement, everyone agreed once again and we immediately began making plans. I smiled at my family, ecstatic by their decision; we were officially moving back to Washington, back to the life that we had been forced to abandon.

‡

For some reason, this memory always made me a little sad. I had been so naive back then. I supposed I had been more then correct—Nessie never even asked one question about why we were so different. We should be ecstatic about this; we never had to lie to her. But I knew, deep down, that in reality, we were lying to her. We were withholding information. We were refusing to tell her who she really was. And in my opinion, that was the worst thing two parents could do to their child.