"Disarm you with a smile,
And cut you like you want me to.
Cut that little child
Inside of me and such a part of you.
Ooh, the years burn."
Disarm by The Smashing Pumpkins
/
As they drove through Salt Lake City he briefly thought about Jenny, the girl who somewhere between Carson City and the Utah border had laid down cards and told him his future. He hoped she was still alive, working at that job she told him about here. He hoped she hadn't gotten into the wrong car, she was a good soul and deserved to have an abundant life. She had advised him to live his life that way all those years ago and wasn't this just part of that.
Marriage. Like he had ever thought about that.
It wasn't anything he had ever dared to think about or want. He felt different now, he was a married man and even he couldn't believe it. They wore no rings and the license would be hidden away forever in a lock box in the closet, but they knew and that was all that mattered. It was funny, he never intended to marry her, the thought never crossed his mind, until it did and then it was all he wanted. Maybe it was the first step into a straight life. He knew Lucy would want that and now he'd married her, effectively tying her to him forever. Maybe that wasn't the right thing to do; he didn't care, he wanted her with him. Maybe he should try and get his shit together for her sake.
Lucy looked out the car window as Mac went past the interstate entrance and kept driving to the other side of town. At a gas station on Lucy's side of the road, a dark-haired girl in a black business skirt, white blouse and black blazer was drinking coffee from a to go cup as she pumped her gas. She looked over as they passed by, recognized the truck and smiled, the dark haired girl with her head out the window had to be his Lucy. She just knew it, and she somehow knew they were in Salt Lake for a special reason. Lucy smiled back at her and Jenny then made the sign of the cross across her chest. God bless her, God bless her, God bless her. She whispered as she looked up towards the sky.
Lucy held the marriage license on her lap and looked at it with disbelief, they were married. She couldn't believe they had really done it.
She wondered if this would change him. Probably not, but maybe, it would reassure him that she really wasn't going anywhere. For some reason, he always thought she was leaving him. It wasn't mistrust or jealousy, but like he was afraid to be happy or didn't know how to be. Sometimes he said he was afraid something would happen to her, something out of his control.
As children, he wasn't like that, but she noticed as he got older a cloud descended on him. Sometimes it stayed a long time and sometimes not, but it never left for good. The drugs were part of it, she knew that. But there was something else too, something she couldn't put her finger on, maybe this would help.
"You missed our turn," She said.
"I know,"
"Where are we going?" She asked.
"To eat a good meal, get drunk and consummate this unholy union."
"I have work," Lucy fretted.
"No, ya don't. Ya have a toothache. Walter said to feel better." He said with a smile.
He had made reservations at the fanciest hotel in town before they left, wanting her to feel like a bride for a little while. He couldn't give her much, no white dress, no ring, but he could call her out of work for the night and actually keep his yap shut and surprise her. They brought no clothes with them or anything, but they could buy whatever they needed. This was their honeymoon after all.
When they got back home it would be business as usual. But for one night they could be some other couple, one that could walk down the street holding hands, one that could be unafraid.
He considered if they left for good, just kept driving, what would happen. It was the perfect time to do it, yet he couldn't. Lucy would go anywhere he wanted her to go, he knew that, but something tied him to that shit town. His father? Maybe. And maybe after the old man was dead they could leave. Lucy would be finished with her online classes then, they could go somewhere far away, the east coast maybe. It was a pipe dream and he knew it, but he liked to think about it sometimes.
/
After dinner and way too much wine he carried her over the threshold of the room, they were both drunk and laughing at the cheesy way they were acting, but it was the one of the only chances they would ever have to be silly together this way. When he was at home it was like a blanket of gloom settled over him, the loss of hope maybe. Or maybe the canyon life was just getting to him after all these years.
She loved him when he was like this though, happy and free, and she loved him and held him up when he wasn't.
Mac switched on the light and immediately her eyes zeroed in on the hot tub in the middle of the room. He set her down on her feet and kissed her, she was his wife now.
He set the wine bottles down on the dresser because they stopped for more wine as they walked back to the hotel from dinner. It was still light out and they were wasted and happy.
"Oh Mac this is amazing," She turned the knob on the side of the tub and stripped out of her clothes. His eyes settled in her body and the bruises he'd left on her the night before, as she walked up the steps and sunk down into the hot water, "Come on," She waved to him.
She had left marks on him too and long ago he had accepted that it was the way it was with them. They loved hard and in secret, and sometimes because of that it got out of hand. They held nothing back from each other. He stripped down and joined her, letting out a groan at the feel of the hot water on his body.
"Oh, fuck this is nice. " He scooted closer to her and pulled her into his lap facing him, "Now I really do own your ass."
"Pffftttt. You wish." She laughed and wrapped her arms around his neck.
"I wish I could give you a better life."
"I have the life I want."
"Today a marriage license, tomorrow a restraining order," He said with a laugh and a wink, then a shadow came over his face, "One more thing we can't tell people," He sighed.
"Husband," She kissed down his neck, "Don't you know it's hot as fuck to have a secret, it's so dirty." She drew out the last three words and whispered them in his ear. Then kissed her way down his neck until he was moaning loudly.
Mac pulled her closer, bringing her right breast up to his mouth as she dug her hands into his hair and pulled hard.
"Ever do it in a hot tub before?" He asked, bringing his hands down over her back and she laughed at that because he knew the answer to that question, she had only ever been with him.
"You?" She asked carefully, and not really wanting him to answer.
He shook his head, "Never been in one before."
Lucy moved against him and he brought his hands up to her breasts as she slid down on to his dick as the water bubbled around them.
"Oh, baby that's it," He moaned against her neck and slid his hands down over her ass to move her against him, "Move that sweet ass."
Lucy pushed herself against him and wound her arms around him as his mouth went back to her breasts. He went from one to the other with his hot mouth, biting and sucking until she was covered in purple marks all over her chest. His fingers dug into her ass as she moved above him and as usual, Lucy was blown away by the amount of passion inside him.
Fucking Mac was always a perfect combination of love and hate; always they left marks on each other, bruises that on another couple might signal abuse. This was not abuse. She dug her hands into his shoulders and lay into him with everything she had.
"Oh fuck me," He moaned, "Fuck me good."
Lucy leaned down and kissed him hard, pushing her tongue into his mouth and sucking hard, "Come on," She whispered, "Fill me up, give it all to me."
"Oh, fuck yes I will," He gripped her hips and moved her faster.
"Come on baby," She moaned as he reached down between them to get her off first, "Cum inside me, cum inside me."
Mac slid his fingers on either side of her clit and kept them there as her body moved against his and soon she was falling apart and her pussy was squeezing him like a vice.
"Oh fuck, I'm cumming..." She screamed, pulling him close to her, "Oh god, oh god."
Mac followed right after her screaming the usual string of profanities, "Oh fuck, oh goddammit, fuck yes, FUCK YES!" and pulled her against him.
/
"I used to be a little boy
So old in my shoes.
And what I choose is my choice.
What's a boy supposed to do?
The killer in me is the killer in you.
My love,
I send this smile over to you."
/
It was dark when they woke up in the huge soft bed, the sun had gone down long ago, and there was a soft breeze coming in through the sliding doors. The curtains blew softly and there was a little radio in the room on the nightstand that he had turned on that played alternative music. The time on the radio/clock said 8:45 pm, they had slept for three hours wrapped up together in the huge white comforter.
It was quiet and peaceful as they slowly woke up and when "Disarm" came on he pulled her up to stand on the bed and took her in his arms to dance.
"Are you still drunk?" She laughed and he nodded.
"Me too," She giggled like a young girl, "We're gonna be so hungover tomorrow."
"Don't care," He replied as he led her in the slow dance, holding their hands against his chest.
"I like this song. It's just melancholy enough," She said, and then added, "It always made me think of you."
"Did we really do this?"
"Yeah," She looked up at him, "We really did."
"I'm sorry that we can't have a big party like normal people..."
"I'd rather have one day of abnormal with you than a lifetime of normal with someone else."
"You're the best, Luce." He said, kissing her and pulled her down onto the bed. He was all lips and teeth all over her neck and chest as his hands came to her breast. Lucy reached down and grasped his cock in her small hand, then brought her lips to his.
"I want that," She whispered into his ear and ran her tongue over his ear, sucking on his earlobe.
Mac moaned as she sucked her way down his neck and he dug his hands into her hair.
"Then take what you want," He groaned as Lucy kissed down his chest to his stomach and started pumping his dick in her hand. She looked up at him before she ran her tongue over his balls nice and slow, finally taking his cock in her hot, wet mouth, "Fuck I think I'm gonna like bein married, gimme that."
Before she knew what he was doing Mac was pulling her by the legs until her pussy was on his face, and he spread her legs wide. Slowly he brought his hands to her thighs, followed by his mouth in teasing little bites and licks until he got to where he wanted to be.
He was a tease, licking her slow from back to front, touching her clit with the tip of his devil's tongue just briefly then pulling away but holding her thighs snug in his hands. Lucy ran her tongue over his cock from base to tip and pushed herself down on his face trying to get more before she took him in her mouth again. It was all he could do not to cum down her sweet throat, but she had to cum first, he needed her to cum first.
Her mouth was filled with his cock and she moaned around him as he slid his tongue over her already wet lips once again, Mac spread her legs further and pushed his tongue inside of her. Lucy couldn't move because he held her tight, all she could do is groan and suck his dick as he assaulted her pussy with no intention of letting up anytime soon.
He could already feel her starting to lose it when he added his fingers into the mix and every moan she made vibrated on his cock while he worked her over. Lucy always came fast and he could feel her start to twitch around his fingers, it was going to be soon and he couldn't wait to drink every drop of her.
She screamed with a mouthful of cock as he licked her without stopping until she was almost sobbing with need, his rigid tongue slid against her engorged clit and she exploded like a nuclear bomb. Mac drank every bit, licking and sucking as if he was starving for her, and she tasted sweet as he unloaded down her throat.
They had run off and gotten married and it was working for him so far.