Chapter Thirteen
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Bella
I laid on the couch in the living room with my arm hanging over the side, drawing in the dust that coated the floor with my finger. As my finger moved back and forth in sweeping motions, thought back to happier times. The giggle of my daughter as she ran down the hallway in our sweet little cottage in Forks. The grin of my husband as he challenged her to the game that helped her hunt animals better. Even times in Alaska-although the secrets were as real as they were here, at least Renemee hadn't realized them. It was my fault, I knew it. I should have never suggested we move back to Washington. I should have realized the amount of despair this would cause my sweet, innocent child. The child who had always loved with her entire heart, without conditions.
I wasn't ready for her to become a vampire. To lose what made her human without her consent. The part of her heart and soul that tied her to Jacob, regardless of what their relationship turned out to be.
The loss, that hadn't even happened yet, hit me forcefully. But I knew we were running out of time. If we did not tell Renesmee when she returned from Jacob's, we were on track to losing her forever. At that was a truth that I just could not bare.
Edward returned home before long; I heard his car whip into the driveway with a screech, before he threw it in park and stormed into the house.
"We have to tell her," he told me forcefully.
I sat up and nodded. "I know."
"Just hear me...oh. I thought you would take some convincing."
My eyes narrowed with anger. "Convincing? Edward, my daughter is in distress. I will do anything to make things right again. Even if that means doing the unthinkable."
"Okay then." He sat down on the couch next to me, taking my hand into his like he had done so many countless times before. "It's settled. We will go get her from Jacob's tomorrow morning. We will bring her back here, all four of us. We will tell her everything. And then..."
This was the part. The unthinkable, the unspeakable that was just as hard for him to accept as it was for me. "And then we change her," I finished the darkest thought either of us would ever have.
He nodded. "If the Volturi learn that she had knowledge of our world and still remained a half breed, they could use it against us as treason. Even if we had already changed her. It's best to do it right away."
"You're right. We can't risk anything else happening. We've been through enough. Did you tell Carlisle yet?"
Edward nodded. "I talked to him on my way home. He is in full support and thinks it is long past due. He understands that we want to keep her from changing as long as possible, but he sees Renesmee slipping further and further away from us." And then, he turned to me, his golden eyes filled with more pain that I had ever seen before. "We cannot lose her, Bella. We cannot lose her."
I fell into his arms with a sigh. "We won't," I said firmly.
I only wished that I believed it.