It's A Balancing Act (someday I'm gonna fall)

It's rare but at sunset two days later on his day off, Kaldur went to Star City's docks and sat at the end of one of the piers. The air was chilly and ranked of sea water and dead fish. A smell he hoped he could get rid of as soon as he left. Gods, but he regretted his decision to make it the docks. It felt so...cliche.

After sitting there for a solid half hour, he was considering on swimming back to Mt. Justice when he hears loud footsteps jogging down the pier.

"Sorry!" Jackson panted, slowing down to catch his breath, "Dad wouldn't sleep for nothing in the world! It's crazy tryin' to sneak by him, Kal." Taking a deep breath, then letting it out, Jackson joined him at the end, "So, how's it being a 'hero'?"

"It's not a joke." Kaldur grumbles just a bit but felt more at ease than normal. "I'm undercover trying to get close to all their operations so Father'll have something on Aquaman."

Jackson hummed, "So how's that going for you?" He shifts the backpack he had on to his lap and opens it to find some snacks, "Want some?"

"You're in a charitable mood, Jackie." Kaldur eyed him, "What were you doing with those thugs? It's not like you to do that."

Jackson found his chips and ate some then shrugged, " It was something to do. Gotham has a lot of street gangs that the bats can't always watch- especially if they operate in other cities." He grinned, " Besides, I figured I'd get a read on the crime lords around these parts."

"Again, this is not a game!" Kaldur snapped then shook his head, "Father won't be pleased if he knew about this."

"Which is why, you're not going to tell him." Jackson looked at him, " Dad's got you doing all this undercover work, and then he's doing some work of his own but I can't do nothing! It's not fair and I'm getting so rusty with my skills- I just can't sit there and do nothing while you guys work!" Angrily he opens his soda, " I want to be useful, damn it."

Kaldur closed his eyes, rubbing them for a bit, "For the love of gods, Jackson, don't you know the dangers here? Just because you're bored doesn't mean you risk everything Father's done for you and me." he stood up, " Now, I need you to go home and pretend nothing's happened and not to get involved with those second rate thugs again."

Eyes narrow, his jaw clenched slightly, Jackson caps his soda and closed his bag getting up to stand face to face, " Make me."

"What."

he shrugs on his back pack and pushed Kaldur, " I said make me. You're not Dad and you're not older than me-"

"-We're the same age, you idiot." Kaldur interjected.

"Well, you're not the boss of me, asshole!"

A headache began beating in the back of his head and migrated slowly to the temple. Kaldur rubbed at it before throwing his hands up. He had to deal with other moody teenagers on a daily basis. He simply did not have the patience of this right now.

He ran his hand over his face, slightly sucked his teeth before pointing at him and walking off, " You know what? Let Father deal with this. I have too much to deal with without you ruining shit, Jackson."

"You're not telling Dad!" Jackson called, then his eyes widened as his brother continued walking off, "Kaldur'ahm! You better not tell Dad a damn thing!"

In a reply, Kaldur flipped him off and continued walking.

Jackson swore to himself. "I can't believe him."

"Kaldur?" M'gann, of course, caught him just as he returned to the team's base. He usually split his time between there and Atlantis most days. "Where were you?"

"I had some things to attend to." Kaldur fell back into the act as easily as slipping into another skin. " Is there a problem?"

She stared at him for a long while before smiling brightly, " No, nothing at all! I was wondering if you'd like to go to the beach with us?"

"Us?"

"Hey!" Robin waved from the couch, "It's the only time we got before Sunday, so, what do you say?"

Wally grins, " I've already told my uncle I was staying over- so it's cool."

Artemis shifted a little, trying to not roll her eyes at him, " I wanted to use the gym." She muttered but there was a trace of a smile there.

"It's settled then." M'gann clapped her hands, " Oh, I can't wait! I've always wanted to do this and have a sleep over!"

"Er, it's not really-" Artemis started but stopped. If the girl wanted a sleepover, who was she to say otherwise?

Kaldur wondered how, again, did his father's former partners or brief alliances partners end up losing to these kids. It didn't make sense to him, yet they always came away on top. He shook his head at his thoughts.

There were just some things that just seem to happen.

"Very well, lets get everything to the beach."

At the beach, they set off fireworks, and played night volleyball, listened to music- did all sorts of things that one could dod at night. At the end, they ended up listening to some music. Some had dozed on their blankets, others were off in their own mind.

Kaldur wandered off from the group, walking along the shoreline, pondering again his life. His role. He was the one that was here for a purpose. Bring down Aquaman.

That was the whole point, wasn't it? Yet, how can he do that if he's stuck here all the time playing nice with the other kids? His thoughts turned to his brother and he hoped that Jackson had listened to him. Hoped that he's staying out of trouble. There was no need for him to do things like this.

"Reckless idiot." He kicks sand up a bit before stopping in his tracks. His lips twitched slightly just as a brow rose when he saw them. "And what brings you gentlemen here?"

Before him stood one of Black Manta's men- Kareem, he'd guessed- walking towards him just as he fell into a defensive posture. You'd never know if that paranoid Bat had surveillance cameras everywhere. It'd be just like him to do that, too.

"A message from him." The masked manta soldier threw a green bottle at him, "Do with it what you will- Atlantean scum."

It was an act. All of it. Kaldur felt a smile grace his face as he bent down to pick it up. He could read between the lines. Finally! Father's sent word about the next step in his mission. Maybe now he could abandon this and go home- finally.

"Tell that murderous wretch that if I ever see him come near here- that I will not hesitate." He hoped his meaning was conveyed. 'I hope to see you again.'

Without another word, the soldiers retreat into the sea, just as Kaldur heard- " Kaldur! What's happened?"

He suppressed a groan, his team had come running. Gods help him.

"It's nothing." He hid the bottle from view, " My king's enemy felt the need to remind me that he still is a menace."

"Are you sure?" M'gann asked, floating just a few inches above the ground, "It looked serious."

"It's fine." Kaldur walked by them, "We should turn in for the night. We have a mission tomorrow, I believe."

"What's that?" Robin eyed his shirt, "Is that a bottle?"

That headache from earlier returned and part of him longed to strangle Robin. One thing Jackson didn't tell him was that this kid was far too inquisitive for his own good. He had to know everything around them- no doubt part of Batman's traits. It made him both excellent to have on a team but horrible any other time.

"Yes, it's green. I happen to like the color." Kaldur said continuing on.

As he walks away, Robin continued to frown watching him and the other team go. "Something about this isn't right."

Getting time alone was difficult. You never know if there's listening devices anywhere in this place. There's only one place in the entire mountain where there wouldn't be and that's at the entrance to the sea in the lower levels. After the team had gone to bed, Kaldur headed there and quietly submerged himself into the waters. He held the green bottle in his hands and uncorks it.

A glow came from inside with a recorded message from his father.

"Son, I know it's been a long time since we've spoken, let alone met." David said, " I had hope to see you soon but it seems things have changed. An opportunity has appeared and the light has shown us a path to Aquaman's downfall. Now more than ever, Kaldur'ahm, I need your insider knowledge of that Team and the League's movements. You're a smart boy, you'll know how to reach me.

Now, if you need money there is a cove nearby that I've order my men to stockpile with both cash and gold as well as weapons. Use it at your discretion, Kaldur, I know you'll judge what's best. You must protect our future interests if we're ever to rebuild Atlantis in a better image. "

The hologram seemed to pause before it adds, " We miss and love you." Then winked out of existence.

His hand went up to where the hologram used to be, eyes softened just a bit as he allowed himself this moment. He wished he had said that to Jackson. He had missed his brother and father more keenly than he'd like to admit. Even to himself. He had thought this mission would be an easy one, and yet...

"I miss you too."

Despite himself and his own warnings, he wished for another moment with Jackson that hadn't ended the way it did. He was trying to protect him but it sucked so much to be away like this and with them so close, too.

Eventually, he takes the bottle and corks it, pulling himself out of the water.

"Going for a night swim?"

The voice startled him as he sees Robin there. Forcing himself to relax, Kaldur raised a brow, "Yes, is that a problem, Robin?"

"Maybe." Robin folded his arms, " You've been acting weird lately, Kaldur. I was just wondering if something's wrong."

Shrugging slightly, he walked on, "I'm surprised you've given any thought on what's normal for me." Sarcasm laced his words, " I thought you only reserved your attentions to your computer or Kid Flash's jokes."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Robin followed behind at a distance.

Exasperated, Kaldur glanced over at him, finding this feeling slightly familiar from when Jackson used to try and needle him for answers. "It means I thought you didn't care what I did outside of the team missions."

Maybe that surprised Robin or not. Kaldur couldn't read his eyes with those sunglasses on, but the way his mouth tighten around the edges spoke volumes. Maybe the kid was learning? Who knows, but the day had been draining and there was a mission soon.

Kaldur just wanted some sleep now.

Gotham.

It had to be Gotham! Ugh. Kaldur wasn't fond of the city the moment he stepped in it. It was dirty in a way that didn't have anything to do with actual dirt. The air wasn't as good as it had been at Happy Harbor- hell, even Star City was better and they had smog reports. More than that- Gotham was Batman's territory and he guarded jealousy like a miser with his gold. It's a wonder the bat ever leaves.

"This place is like a cave without being in one." Kaldur muttered to himself. No wonder Robin's messed up. He added silently in his head. Just being here feels like that.

It was a mistake to come here. That's what he thought just as Clayface seemed to reform in front and around them.

Reaching for his waterbearers, Kaldur mentally cursed himself for being distracted. He should've been more careful- more aware! Would this blow his cover? Would everything his Father had worked for- trained him for- go to waste?

Who would he have to hurt to escape in tact?

Strangely, his mind shied away even as it supplies the answer to possible routes. He could take out M'gann first and drawn the rest of the team in water to keep them busy for as long as it took him to escape to the sea. And then-

"Aqualad!"

His mind snapped back to attention, back ridged. Wait, what had happened? Some how, he had lost both time and action. They had lost to Clayface, Batman had saved them and was talking to him.

When had he zoned out? It was unusual, he didn't normally do that.

"Are you here or is your mind elsewhere?"

"I am here." Kaldur said carefully, trying not to betray his thoughts. What could he say? " But part of me is still in Atlantis." There, that sounded good.

Batman narrowed his eyes, as if trying to determine if that was the truth. "Then maybe you should think about where you really want to be, Aqualad. Either you're here a hundred percent or you're not here at all." With a swish of his cape, he left.

Kaldur waited a good three minutes before relaxing. Thank gods he's gone. Of anyone, Batman made him the most nervous. Detectives always did. The attention to detail all the time was so nerve-wrecking and exhausting. It was starting to be exhausting around Robin as well.
Part of him thanked some good fortune that he never ran into Artemis while with his father. Otherwise his cover would really have been blown.

He really needed to figure out how to at least know what the Team's next mission would be but he doubts Batman or any of the other mentors would tell him that right now. He's shaken the confidence in him to be a competent leader.

He needs to rebuild that. But how?

The thought carried him off for a moment as he left the warehouse to go to the zeta tube that was near by.

"Psst... Pstt- Kal!" He turned his head to the sound. Being in the air, sound was louder again and easier to hear than underwater. having been there long enough and coming back made his hearing better.

Kaldur searched through the darkness around him til his eyes landed on the familiar figure. He glanced over his shoulder before heading towards it.

"Jackie, is that you?" Cautiously, he peered into the darkness,"What are you doing here?"

Jackson shifted, " Brought you something."

His brows rose, "What? I have to get back before they notice."

Jackson offered a tupperware dish to him, " Here. It's from home."

"Home? Are you telling me you guys are living in Gotham?" The switch back to normal English was instant. "Why? It's...grimy."

"Dunno." Jackson answered, " Dad decided it. Anyway, I thought you might be homesick for something that actually has, you know, seasonings."

Kaldur cracked a smile, " How did you know? Actually, how did you know I was even here?"

Jackson's brows rose a little and he just shrugged, " Don't know. It's like I got a sixth sense for you. Maybe a twin thing?"

"We're not twins."

"Close enough." Jackson rolled his eyes, and shifted a bit looking away, "and..Thanks."

"For what?"

He groaned, " You're going to make me say it, aren't you?"

"Yep." Kaldur hummed opening the container and the smell of home cooked food hid the smell of the place. "This looks good."

Jackson sighed, " Ok, um.. Thanks for not telling Dad." He looked away, " Anyway, go on and go. I just..- be careful, alright? " Then he looked to him, " Something's going on. You might get hurt in the process, Kal."

Kaldur frowned, slowly covering the dish, " What do you mean?"

Again, his brother shifted in place, a hand went to the back of his neck as he looked down, " I don't know but Dad's excited about it. Says everything's going to change once you get that intel of their next mission or whatever. That maybe you don't have to stay there any longer once it's done. But I have no idea what could've changed."

"And you think I'm in danger?"

At his nod, Kaldur sighed softly but held his hand out, " Thanks, Jackie. You better be careful, yourself. I don't know much but I know the League's got some heavy hitters that'll make problems for Father in the future."

Jackson clasp his hand and nods, " Ok, I'll see you."

With that the two parted ways again.

Some times, the best approach is a direct one.

Red Tornado was basically the chaperone and guardian of the team when they were all there as well as looking after both Conner and M'gann when they weren't. He was an official member of the League, and as such, Kaldur wondered if he may know some of their missions ahead of time- or even potential ones. It was a thought that lead him to find the red android monitoring some of the security screens at the meantime since most of everyone was gone save for himself and the other two.

"Aqualad." Red Tornado greeted him. " I had thought you would have gone back to Atlantis by now."

This interaction also put his acting skills to the test. He wasn't too certain if Red Tornado couldn't sense a shift in his own biochemistry and whether the reactions matched or not. It's a gamble, but he's willing to risk it.

"I am, I just- I just have a lot on my mind." Kaldur folded his arms across his chest, staring up at the monitors, "There's been much that has weighed on me as of late. My preformance with leading the team has suffered because of it. I am-" He paused for effect, "- I am torn, Red Tornado. I enjoy the work I do and feel it is my duty to do it, but I think something of Atlantis still draws me there." He exhaled, turning to him, " I am returning to see if- if my decision is sound."

"That is a wise course of action."

"I hope so." Kaldur dropped his hands, " I hope the Team will understand if my decision affects them as well." He looked up at the screens again, " Yet, I cannot rest easy on either. I still wonder about the work we're doing here."

Good. The robot doesn't suspect anything, still he felt uncomfortable about it. It meant he still had to go through the gauntlet of his mother and Calvin Durham as well as the royal family and his...'friends'. He regretted the lie but knew he had to lie in that bed now.

"Rest assured, it is good work you all do. You've proven yourselves well these past few months." Red Tornado turned to him, "Be proud of that."

Something unsettling snaked through him that was warm. Pride? Why would he be happy to recieve praise from a machine? It didn't make sense to him. Still, he smiled at Red Tornado, "Thank you. It's hard to see it that way."

As he turned to leave, he paused, "If it's not a bother, Red Tornado, do you know what mission we're to head to next?"

This was it. Would he get anything here yet?

"According to the notes, they're considering three places to send the team, but one target seems more likely." Red Tornado said, "Bialya."

Bialya? What the hell could be in that godforsaken place? What could be so important? Kaldur wondered what the League was doing and if they were using them as a smoke screen.

"I see, well, I shall endeavor to make my decision quickly then." He said to him, "And thank you."

"You're welcome."

Kaldur left to the Zeta tube, his mind filled with all sorts of things and notions- most curiously was the idea that he maybe growing to actually like these people. It was absurd, of course. He shouldn't and wouldn't do that. He had a mission, a purpose and he'll finish it all to rejoin his father and brother in his rightful place.

"They're nothing more than just tools." He told himself teleporting to Atlantis's watery realms, "That is all.