Chapter Nineteen

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Renesmee

"Renesmee! Wake up!"

His hands were warm on my face, causing me to smile. I was in Jake's arms once more at his house. He was making breakfast, our favorite: Eggs, bacon, and cheese, all between two slices of golden-brown, buttered toast. He was rubbing my back, telling me to wake up. When I opened my eyes, I would see his beautiful, perfect, smiling face. He was with me and we were home, and that was all that mattered.

When I opened my eyes, dread filled me. We were not at home. We were still in Volterra. I was lying in a bed, probably still in the old house where the vampires lived. And it wasn't Jacob who was standing over me; it was Nick with a heating pad in his hands.

"Thank God you're alright," he whispered, breathing a sigh of relief. He leaned forward and kissed me, holding an extra second longer than usual.

"What happened?" I asked, sleepiness and confusion ringing groggily in my voice.

"You fainted. I caught you before you hit your head."

"Oh," I said softly. "Thank you. For catching me."

Looking up at him, I took in his beauty once again. I truly believed he was one of the most perfect creatures to ever walk this earth. And he loved me. He loved me so much, that he brought me around the world to help me find the happiness he knew I sought.

There was a part of me who loved him too; Nick had been my escape when things were their darkest. You cannot have that in your life and not feel some sort of affection. But even here, in of the most romantic places in the world, where I had finally discovered who I truly was, I felt a part of me holding back.

He lifted me to a sitting position with care, as if I was extremely fragile. And I supposed I was; I had been emotionally broken so many times. And at the moment, I felt as if I would never be put back together.

"You should rest for a little bit. And then maybe, if you're up for it, we can go get you some breakfast." After I nodded, he leaned down to give me another kiss. "I will leave you to relax and will be back up to get you soon."

As soon as he left, I reached into my pocket to grab my cell phone. Maybe it was the thought of finally knowing the truth, but I felt a great urge to call my parents, to tell them what I finally knew once more after all this time. To tell them that I was ready to come home.

Only, my cell phone was not in my pocket. I scanned the room quickly, hoping Nick had placed it on a table, but did not see it anywhere. I must have dropped it in that big hall," I thought.

I laid back down and let my mind wander. How had my parents managed to erase my memory? To wipe away my recollection of the first years of my life, when everything made sense. Completely destroyed through such a selfish act. Were they filled with guilt daily? Or did they feel it was justified? I wondered if any of my aunts, uncles, or grandparents defended my right to remember my own life when my parents presented them with idea. Or did they go along with it as willing participants?

Knowing I couldn't sit here any longer, consumed with my own painful thoughts, I slid out of bed. My feet hit the cold tile floor before they moved slowly over to the door. I swung it open and walked down the dimly-lit hallway. Incomprehensible voices echoed off the stone walls. They stopped abruptly when the people (or rather, vampires) sensed me coming.

"Hello, Renesmee," said Aro just before I rounded the corner. His voice sounded as pleasant and welcoming as usual. However, a surge of uncertainty ran through my body; there was something off about him, something that I could not place. It had to do with more than being a vampire. It was almost as if I were seeing something from my dreams at night come to life before my eyes.

Nick walked quickly over to me and touched my arm, which pulled me from my thoughts. "You were supposed to be resting."

I gave him a small, apologetic smile. "Could we go for a walk? I need some fresh air."

"Fresh air would be good for the girl, Nicholas," Aro said. "This morning was a lot to take in."

"Of course," Nick replied. "If you'll excuse us, Uncle." He gave his uncle a departing nod as he took my hand to pull me toward a winding staircase.

"Goodbye, Renesmee," Aro told us.

"Goodbye. We will see you soon," I called back.

When we emerged outside, it was still overcast and gloomy.

"We're in this beautiful foreign country, and I haven't seen one bit of sun," I complained with a laugh as we walked down the street hand-in-hand. "We may as well have stayed in Washington."

Nick chuckled too. "That is a good thing—if it were sunny, I wouldn't be able to go outside." At my confused look, Nick elaborated. "Did you ever notice that your parents refuse to go outside in the sunlight?"

I thought back to the rare days of glory in Washington, when the sun would shine bright and beautiful. Jacob had taken me to school those days. I remembered last summer, when I had asked my mother if we could go to the beach for a vacation; her eyes had widened before giving me a firm no, as if my innocent suggestion had instead been asking to cliff dive or to go bungee jumping.

"What happens to you in the sunlight?" I asked, once again afraid of the answer.

Sensing my worry, he laughed once more. "The sun radiates off of our skin, and it draws attention to us. We try to stay as subtle as we can."

"Subtle? You're stunning. Look at all of the people staring at you right now." It was true. Wherever we walked, people turned to look. It happened with my family too; the beauty of a vampire, a siren of sorts, meant to lure people to their demise.

Nick shrugged. "I don't really notice anymore."

After a few moments of silently walking, the memory of what had happened right before I passed out came flooding back to me. I hesitated, unsure if I should ask Nick about it, for fear he would confirm that what I remembered what true. But I had to know, and I didn't want to find out from my father without having time to prepare myself mentally. "Was what Aro said true? Can my father really read minds?"

The atmosphere instantly grew heavy, even in the midst of the laughter and merriment that filled the people of Italy. "Yes, he can," he responded.

The thought sickened me. What secrets had he heard? Especially concerning Jacob; hours of private thoughts and memories...fantasies. Things I would never want my father to hear. I felt my entire face fill with heat just thinking about it.

"Your mother and father are not the only ones of your family with powers," Nick continued. "Your aunt, the small one with the dark hair. She can see the future. And her husband, he can change the emotions of the people around him."

He paused, grasping my hand a little tighter. "And you...you can place your hand on someone and let them see exactly what you're thinking."

I gave him a questioning look. "That's all?"

"It's a better power than you think. Perspectives are difficult to understand and accept. But you, Renesmee, have the power to make people view life in a different way, a way of thinking they cannot reject because they are witnessing it for themselves through eyes."

"Oh," I stated, still not convinced. There was nothing special about a power such as that. Of course, even in the midst of a gene pool of amazing powers such as mind reading and being a shield, I would receive the useless one. "And what about you?" I asked. "Do you have a special power?"

He ran his fingers through his dark brown hair, giving me a small smile. "Yes," he admitted with a sigh.

"And that would be...?"

He turned to me hesitantly, obviously uncomfortable. "Do you remember something...strange happening to you the night you asked your parents and Jacob all of those questions?"

The second he said those words, it all made sense. The voice. It had been familiar. But at the time, before I learned of the world as I now know it, I couldn't ever have known that to be a possibility.

"It was you." My voice was calm, non-accusatory. After all, if it hadn't been for that voice, I never would have had the courage to come to Vulterra in the first place to discover the truth.

"I wanted to tell you," he told me. "But I knew you would not understand until you had the entire picture."

"But how did you know what I was going to say? It was as if you were in the room."

We parted ways for a moment as a giant crowd of people came down the sidewalk. When we came back together, Nick grabbed my hand firmly before beginning his explanation. "My power is similar to your father's. I can read minds. But, I have to insert my own thoughts their mind. And I have to be familiar with the person so that I fit there naturally, as if it were their own voice telling them what to do."

"Then who was the second voice?" I asked.

Nick squeezed my hand. "Renesmee," he said gently. "You want to please your family so badly. Even in your subconscious. That second voice was you. Fighting against what you knew you needed to do. Because deep down, you knew the consequences of speaking so boldly. You knew that by doing so, you risked finding out a truth that you may have been better off not knowing."

I felt warm tears begin rolling down my cheeks. A deep ache filled my chest as thoughts of my family swam into my head. What had I done? How could I have hurt them this badly? The people who loved and cared for me unconditionally. The people who had been there for me my entire life. I betrayed them in this one act of impulse. Suddenly, the city felt huge to me, and the miles between my parents and me seemed endless. My body began to shake with homesickness and grief.

"I have somewhere we can go, if you want," he told me gently. "It's a little bit of a drive, but it might make you feel better."

I nodded, unable to speak.

He began weaving us through a crowd of people, taking us to the edge of the sidewalk where he hailed a cab. A white car pulled up after a few moments, and Nick opened the door and ushered me in first.

"Por favore portaci a Berignone Forrest," he said in beautiful Italian, reaching into his pocket before handing the cab driver money.

We drove for about 30 minutes, staying mostly in silence. During the times we did talk, Nick told me that he often comes here when he visited his uncle. He found sitting among the trees cathartic.

When we arrived, I politely said goodbye to the driver in the little Italian that I remembered. We were surrounded by miles and miles of beautiful green trees, working their way up a small mountain. The sight almost took my breath away; it was clear why Nick felt comforted when he came here. Walking on the main path, worn by the feet of the many tourists who came to visit, we made our way into the earthy sanctuary.

Suddenly, Nick stopped.

"What is it?" I asked, my voice cracking with concern. I hadn't thought of the possibility of animals out here, and I hoped that Nick did not see one.

As he turned he head toward me, I almost jumped at the sight of his intense eyes, an expression foreign to his typically soft face. "We need to move quickly."

"Why?" I asked him. "I thought we were here to relax."

Suddenly, I felt a sense of dread wash through my body. What exactly was I doing? Going to an isolated forest with a boy who just recently told me he was a blood-thirsty vampire. Nick had said that he and his family only live on the blood of animals, but I didn't even know if that was at all possible. I didn't even have my phone with me, which I now realized I had never even inquired about.

"Nick," I said quietly, trying to remain calm. I looked over and saw a young man and women emerge from the forest, speaking in quick Italian. At least I'm not alone, I thought. But what good would it do if he could easily overpower all of us? Could he easily outrun me if I tried to run? Could he out think me if I tried to hide?

"We need to move," Nick repeated firmly.

I stood still, shaking my head. "I'm feeling a little sick. I need to sit and rest for a minute."

"Renesmee. Trust me. You're going to want to go into the forest."

"Why?" I asked again. My heart rate continued its steady increase. I wondered if he could hear it, if he knew I was scared. If he were truly my friend, my fear would be of concern to him and he would take me home, despite how long it took us to get here. And if the alternative were true...I pushed the thought out of my head, knowing that panic would only cloud my thoughts.

Nick paused for a moment as a smile filled his face. And then, he said the last words I had ever expected to hear.

"Your family is here."