Jim sat at home, his head in his hands. "Jim, I'm going to ask you this one more time. Why did he try to hit you." An hour, they've been having this conversation for an hour. He was trying to side step her questions, lie and tell her he didn't know. Not for the sake of their relationship, which if he was being honest, knew had an expiration date, but for the sake of Pam. God he felt like such an ass dragging Karen along, leading her on. He likes her, he really does, she's smart, and funny, and he thinks if this were another life, a life where he didn't have Pam, maybe they'd work out.
But he does have Pam, well... he doesn't have have her, but one day he thinks. One day maybe he'll have Pam, Pam who is everything, everything to him. Everything he wants, and needs and his heart feels heavy just thinking about her.
"Jim, why did Roy try to hit you?! You're not even listening to me?!" She's pacing back and forth, trying, willing him to tell her something. But Karen is right, he wasn't listening, he was actually thinking about their conversation in the break room today, the way Pam had tried to apologize to him and the way he shot her down with a snarky comment about Roy. It was eating him up inside.
He sighed and looked up at Karen, "Roy hit me because when he and Pam were engaged, I kissed her." Karen was silent, "oh...were you drinking or something? I mean that sucks but a drunken kiss is just a simple mistake, I mean we can work through that." His lips were thin as he contemplated his next words "I finally told her that I loved her... and she turned me down and then I took the job in Stamford."
"Loved?" She asked
"Love" he finished
"Love? All this time?"
It hurts to hear him say, and there's a look on his face that tells her there's no argument to be had here. Nothing to discuss, his face tells her that this, them, they, were just a distraction. It hurts, but she's not one to grovel, he hears the click clack of her heels on the floor, and the hard slam of the front door. She was gone, gone gone. He knew it, and to be honest he didn't care. She didn't deserve that, but honestly it didn't matter, it would've happened at some point anyway.
He hopped in the shower, hoping to wash the day away, but he just couldn't shake this feeling. He wanted to tell Pam he was sorry, or tell her something. He wasn't really sure what he wanted to say because there were so many things he'd love to tell her. Thinking of love he thought, love would be a great, he'd love to talk to her about love. He chuckled to himself, he'd start with sorry. He knew her, and he knew she'd probably spent the whole evening beating herself up at the thought of what Roy had tried to do. It wasn't her fault. He checked the time, it was a little late but it was Pam, even if sorry was all he got to say to her tonight, that would be worth it. He dried off, threw on a pair of sweatpants and an old t- shirt, grabbed his keys and walked out the door.