The doorbell rang once.
"Shit," Moon said. She was up to her arms in toxic fluid, cleaning between the crevices of Medusa's spikes.
"Do you want to answer the door?" she asked Medusa. The toxapex undulated her tentacles in a shrug and emitted another burst of liquid poison.
"Thought not." Moon sighed.
The doorbell rang again, with a lightness that somehow suggested polite restraint.
"Coming!" Moon yelled, pretty sure her voice would carry past the thin walls. She worked off her gloves, making sure that her bare skin didn't touch any of the toxic fluid Then she made her way to the front and pulled open the door.
Lillie blinked back at her.
"Oh," Moon said. Lillie. Lillie with her blond hair still in a ponytail, gently swishing back and forth. Lillie with her delicate hesitance, hovering like a butterfree on the threshold. "Um, come in?"
"It's good to see you, Moon," Lillie said, stepping inside. She had a determined air that only emphasized the slight waver in her voice. Lillie made an aborted step forward, turned pink and whispered, "I hope I haven't come at a bad time?"
That's when Moon realized she was still in her "de-tox" cloths – a tattered gray shirt, threadbare pants, and heavy rubber boots. Moon started to grin. "Do you want me to change?" she asked.
Lillie's eyes widened. "Oh, I didn't mean, and I'm sure I didn't intend to imply—"
When Lillie was flustered, she pressed the tips of her fingers against each other and held them out in front of her chest like a shield.
"But you'd prefer it, wouldn't you, if I made myself fit to be seen by civilization?"
"Well you said it, Moon, not I . . ."
They stared at each other and then, at the same time, started to laugh. Lillie' laugh started a restrained giggle, but grew into a unladylike roar as Moon began to guffaw.
"Come in the kitchen," Moon said, when their laughter had died down. "I think we have some biscuits. Kesia will want to say hi, and Hera too. I'll be back in just a few minutes."
She ducked into her room, stripped off her de-tox cloths and hastily pulled on a white blouse and some leggings. It was hard to believe that Lillie was here, sitting in her apartment. Somehow Lillie didn't fit into a drab place like this.
When she came back into the kitchen, Lillie was deep in conversation with Kesia. "I brought a few gifts for your pokemon," Lillie said when she saw Moon. "A charcoal for Kesia, and a smooth stone for Hera . . . I have something for the others as well."
"Thanks, Lillie. That's really thoughtful," Moon said, taking a seat.
"It's really nothing," Lillie said. "It's the least I can do." She placed her fingertips together in her lap and sat up straighter. "I understand I'm to be your manager."
Moon blinked, not expecting Lillie to cut past the smalltalk. "Well-"
"I will do my very best to fulfill this role to the utmost of my capabilities and not let you down, Moon!" Lillie said quickly. She stood up from her seat and began to pace. "I have to admit, I wasn't quite sure what attire is appropriate for a manager. I opted for business casual, in pastel blue to convey openness and energy. However, if that's not adequate I did bring along a varied wardrobe, and can—"
"Lillie," Moon said. "Calm down. What you're wearing is good. It's good because you chose it."
"Because I . . . chose it," Lillie repeated, blinking very fast. "Of course. Have I mentioned that it's awfully good to see you, Moon?"
"No," Moon said, her smile suddenly feeling like a mask. "You haven't."
"Oh." Lillie's hand flew to her mouth. "How remiss of me . . ."
"It's really good to see you," Moon said, but the words sounded forced and inadequate. "How have you been?"
"Me?" Lillie seemed surprised at the question. "Quite well, thank you. And Mother has been doing well too. She's able to walk now, though of course, she's not allowed out of the mansion."
"My heart bleeds for her," Moon said dryly. "I didn't ask about Lusamine. I asked about you. How's the journey going? Have you met new pokemon? Seen new places? It must be wonderful," she added wistfully.
"Y-yes," Lillie stammered. "Very wonderful. And as for yourself, Gladion told me that financial circumstances have prevented you from traveling? But that will change starting now, of course." Her voice had regained its firmness. "A trainer like you, not able to travel! That sort of thing should be illegal."
"It's not just the money," Moon said, looking away. "It's my mom. She has cancer, you know. It feels wrong for me to leave her, when she's so sick . . ."
Lillie put her hand over Moon's. "I understand," she said quietly. "But your mom . . . I'm sure what she wants most in her heart is for you to be happy. She wouldn't want you to suffer for her sake. It's not selfish to fulfill your dreams, if in doing so you fulfill hers."
Moon felt wetness gather in her eyes and blinked. Lillie had this way of putting words together that made everything seem clear.
It suddenly hit Moon how enormously selfish she was being.
"About that . . ." Moon said, trailing off. "I wasn't really thinking when I asked for you to be my manager. I don't want to take you away from your journey."
Lillie stared at her, a faint frown on her face.
"I mean," Moon continued, worried she hadn't made herself clear, "you've been looking forward to it for so long, and now I'm dragging you away just when you were really getting started . . ."
The smile Lillie mustered was so obviously fake that Moon wasn't surprised to see it collapse under its own weight. Lillie pressed the tips of her fingers against each other.
"The truth is . . . oh .. . the truth is . . . it's so awkward to say. I haven't been traveling for months now. I made a few new friends but they didn't like battling and so we traveled, and it was nice, but it, wasn't the same as in Alola. My pokemon kept me company, but there was no one else. People aren't very friendly in Kanto, or, that's not fair, but they weren't to me, not that I blame them, I'm not a very good trainer and I didn't know what to say to anyone, so I said nothing or, or silly things, things that were stupid and didn't matter. Then there was a complication with Mother's health, so I came back to the mansion, and I – decided to stay a while, helping Mother. Since I failed so terribly at being a trainer I thought it was the least I could do . . .'
"You've been—" Moon's mouth was dry. "You've been with Lusamine. For months?"
Lillie nodded energetically. "I've been taking care of her. The attendants don't stay long, they say she's cruel. But I'm used to it, and it feels good, I suppose, do something I'm capable of. I'm not really cut out to be a trainer anyway . . ."
Lillie trailed off, perhaps finally noticing that murder was written on Moon's face.
"Why the fuck," Moon said, "am I hearing Lusamine's words in your mouth."
Lillie flinched. Her mouth worked soundlessly.
"Training's not for everyone. I know that. Hau's given it up. But – being your mom's maid? That's not right. You deserve more than that."
Lillie shook her head. "It's not easy, but that doesn't mean it's not the right thing to do, Moon. It's my responsibility . . ."
"So you're saying I should stay here and support my mom, then?"
"It's different with you," Lillie murmured, not meeting Moon's eyes.
"Different?" Moon said tightly. "Why. Why is it different?"
Lillie looked up. Her eyes were wide and her face was open. She was almost smiling. "Because you're a hero, Moon," she said simply.
A hero. The word bucked in Moon's mind like a rebellious tauros.
When Moon didn't reply, Lillie continued, shyly. "You're a hero. You saved Nebbie, the first time we met, back on the bridge. You used your own body as a shield. And me. You saved me too. From Team Skull and from Lusamine. You saved the world."
Moon felt herself going hot and furious. "Did you ever think I saved you because you're worth saving?"
Lillie opened her mouth and then closed it.
"You act like I'm some kind of selfless hero, but I'm not. I'm selfish. Of course I'm selfish. Why do you think I asked for you, anyway?
"Because you needed a manager," Lillie whispered.
"Because I missed you," Moon shouted. "Because you're my friend. Because you're important. Because I," Moon drew in a breath, pushing back the tears suddenly welling up in her eyes, "I need you." The words sounded so vulnerable. They were too close to three other words that Moon had been turning over in her mind. She pressed her eyes shut before the wetness could escape.
"You . . . need me?" Lillie said, each word slow and incredulous.
"Don't you realize," Moon said thickly, "That to me you're a hero? Because you did things that scared you every day and you did them just because you thought they were the right thing to do."
Lillie swallowed. "Moon, I—"
"Don't you know that it hurts when you talk like this? Like you aren't worth something? When, to me, you're worth everything?"
Moon looked down, finding it impossible to continue speaking. She could feel Lillie's eyes on her, hear Lillie breathing loudly in the silence. She closed her own eyes, trying to find some equilibrium. She didn't want to cry again, she wanted words: clear, eloquent words that would be like a crystal mirror—words that would show Lillie herself the way Moon saw her.
"Moon," Lillie said finally. Her voice sounded strange—distant and flat. Moon didn't dare to look up. "Am I hired?"
It wasn't the question Moon had expected. "Um," she said. "Yeah. Of course. If you still want to accept."
"Could you tell me, please, what exactly you'll want me to do?"
Moon risked a glance up. Lillie's face was set in an oddly neutral expression, her hands planted on the tabletop. "I'm not sure, really . . ."
"Gladion looked up your tournament history. You lost in the second round, to an opponent with three pokemon remaining. What made that possible?"
The memory made Moon's stomach twist, but Lillie's voice, at least, held no judgement. "They wouldn't let me use Z-crystals," she said. "That was the first sign things were going to be different. And then . . . I've never battled somewhere like that before. So loud, with all these lights and distractions. Back in Alola, I could feel my pokemon, if that makes any sense. I could feel the battle. I—I guess I panicked."
"I see," Lillie said. She was silent for a moment, then spoke with increased warmth. "That's fixable, Moon, that's all fixable. I'll file a complaint against the tournament leagues first. Banning Z-crystals when they allow mega evolution bands is an insult to Alolan tradition. As for the venues—not all of them are like that. We'll start you off at the field tournaments, the ones away from urban centers. You can acclimatize gradually, not all at once." Lillie began to speak faster and faster, punctuating her words with small emphatic gestures.
"That . . that sounds like a really good plan, actually," Moon said, not sure why she was surprised. "I think . . . yeah, I think I could do that."
An old image suddenly dominated her mind—a path up to a mountain, and at the top . . . at the top, the thing she'd been seeking. It was back in focus.
Am I doing this, Moon thought, scared and giddy. Am I really, really doing this?
"Lillie," she said, finally meeting her eyes. "I meant everything I was saying just now. About what you mean to me. And it's not something you have to earn, you know? I mean, whether you could solve my problems or not, that wouldn't change."
Lillie swallowed, but didn't look away. Her silence stretched out, so long that Moon was almost tempted to dismiss the topic—anything to turn Lillie back from a statue into a person.
And then Lillie said, quietly, "I understand. But I don't understand, not really. I understand that you mean what you're saying, because you're Moon, you're honest and you always say what you mean, but I don't understand how you could feel that way about me. And . . .I like making plans, I like fixing things, I like to be able to help. Doing that makes me feel like I am—" her voice faltered "—worth something."
Moon pushed back her chair, walked round the table, and took Lillie's hand. She wasn't sure what to do with it, so she did what her mom always did when she was sad, raised it to her lips and dropped a soft kiss there. Lillie went still for a second, and then she stood too, and was pulling Moon into a tight embrace. Moon could feel the softness of her cheek and smell the salt of unshed tears pooling in her eyes. She hugged Lillie with all of her strength, trying to transmit through the gesture that feeling which she could never get right in words.
At last, Lillie disentangled herself and took a step back. Her eyes were shining.
"I'm not the person you think I am—" she held her hand over Moon's lips when Moon started to protest "—I'm not. But I want to be her—and I think I can be. If I'm with you. Because back in Alola, everything began to feel possible after I met you. As if, instead of running away, there were things I could be running to." She withdrew her hand and clasped it behind her back, looking at Moon with an expectant look.
"I just want you to be Lillie," Moon said helplessly.
Lillie smiled. "I will be. If you'll be Moon. She's my hero, you know." She glanced around the kitchen. "I know it's old-fashioned of me, but would you mind terribly if we made a toast? To Lillie and Moon? And to . . . to being ourselves, together."
Moon nodded. She picked out two glasses from the cupboard and filled them up with razzberry juice. "To Lillie and Moon," she said slowly. "And to our new future, together."
Their glasses came together, in a click. And Moon realized that was the sound it made— her future.
It was already here.