.*After the Rain*.
Chapter 1

Edo - 1854

No one ever felt cold when the peak of summer settled over Tama, steeping the countryside in thick humidity and insufferable swelter. Why, the mere thought of catching chills at this time sounded absurd to even someone like Hijikata, who'd always been intolerant and predisposed to a good shiver every now and then.

But that was before this strange time of year came about once more to remind him of the capriciousness and unpredictability weather could have—when everything was bathed in sunlight one moment and soused by torrential downpour the next, all with very little precursor.

It was either a marvel or a curse, and the answer relied entirely on whether there was a roof above one's head or not when nature decided to flip the switch. A traveling medicine peddler oft had no such luxury of shelter on the move, especially while making his way down a road that cut straight through rice fields. So when the first strike of thunder split the heavens, rattled the earth, and surfed the nerves of his spine, Hijikata raised his chin to a fast darkening sky. A colorful word left his tongue and it wasn't long thereafter until he found himself sprinting through sheets of rain soaking him to the bone.

Today simply hadn't been his day. He'd spent the morning irritated over losing his hat somewhere, but that worry paled in comparison to drenched clothing and ruined wares (surely, the case strapped to his back couldn't resist that much water). Despite all this misfortune, there'd been at least one thing going in Hijikata's favor at a time when everything else insisted on the opposite, and that was location.

Sopping wet sandals pounded footprints into moist dirt and with a stumble, carried him through the outer entrance of one very particular dojo he enjoyed frequenting very much. And lo and behold...there on the porch, his favorite person even! Standing with large hands docked at his waist, Kondo watched with tranquility as the rain poured relentless and hard.

However, his ever-enduring composure vanished the instant his eyes found Hijikata; they widened along with his mouth, the dramatic arrival shattering what had once been an atmosphere of placidity. And from there, everything turned into a blur: of shouting and commotion...of animated questions and barked orders and snark from a ten year-old and helping hands and...

All of the chaos had quickly ushered Hijikata to where he'd wound up now: standing alone within the calm comfort of a familiar room, half-dressed in an oversized charcoal hakamashita that swallowed his slender figure. He gave himself another vigorous rub with the small white towel draped over his head, before his nose caught the hint of something pleasant. Dipping it toward the source—the collar—he treated himself to a deep inhale.

Gratifying, stimulating...so decidedly the scent which charmed his senses to no end. His lashes fell for a moment to simply revel in that bliss, and when Hijikata's eyes fluttered open again, several more passed before they finally fell to the folded hakama on the dresser.

The corners of his lips twitched.

It was...larger than he imagined when not being worn by its owner; that wasn't to say Hijikata hadn't seen said owner without such an article in the past, but it'd never been so neatly stowed like this. And truth be told, there were more interesting things to look at besides discarded clothing on those occasions anyway.

At that thought he softly huffed, reaching with one hand to run his fingertips over dark patterned fabric. He supposed it was time to see if there was even a remote chance at this clinging to his waist, and as he slipped freshly socked feet through the legs, an affable presence appeared outside the closed shoji.

"Toshi, can I come in?"

"Yeah." Hijikata's attention drew toward the sliding door, a gentle smile pulling at his cheeks when Kondo stepped in with a tray bearing two cups. The shoji clapped shut and before Hijikata's open display of affection could be acknowledged, he added, "It's your room anyway."

Kondo grinned with an exhale through his nose, then set the tray down on a short table and closed the space between them. "That doesn't mean I can be blatantly rude to anyone in it." Hijikata began to turn, but warm hands landed upon his shoulders and kept him in place, a strong chest pressing to his back soon after. "Right?"

"Cht. It's not rude." Hijikata felt Kondo reach beneath his arms and take the top hem of the hakama. "I yell at my sister and her kids to leave all the time."

The attire was given a stiff tug about his hips, almost like an admonishment. "Certainly sounds like rudeness to me, Toshi-san..."

Hijikata sucked his teeth and tossed his face to the side, his brow bone pushing against Kondo's temple. "No? My space, my rules."

"Ah, so that's how it is..." Kondo replied as he yanked on the straps next and began tying them as tightly as he could. Beneath his breath, he chuckled while jovially adding, "Well, pardon the intrusion then, Danna-sama¹."

Hijikata might've offered retort at being teased, but the sensation of Kondo's words feathering gently over his skin had his nerves alight and shoulders hinting upward in response. He let his desire for idle banter go, choosing instead to melt further into the arms around him while Kondo attempted to work hakama binding magic.

Despite his efforts however, the garment's inevitable fate was to hang low about Hijikata's hips. Kondo hummed his displeasure. "This is way too big on you. I'm sorry." He gave another fruitless pull to coax it into sitting higher. "Maybe I could ask Gen-san to borrow—"

Hijikata grabbed Kondo's hands before they had the chance to retreat—if they even would. "Kat-chan, this is fine. It works."

"Ah?!" Kondo stiffened. "Your hands are still so cold!"

"It's fine—"

Ignoring the protest, Kondo retracted his touch just far enough to give himself leverage; his palms immediately pressed against the backs of the clammy hands concerning him, pinning them gently against Hijikata's abdomen while thumbs began to rub small circles in attempt to rouse warmth.

"Kat-chan..." If Hijikata had meant to object to these attentions, he'd failed. Utterly.

"Are you really comfortable like this?" Kondo thrust their hands down once to indicate the attire in question. "I mean, as long as you don't mind losing your hakama..."

"Ah." Hijikata felt heat starting to blossom about his cheeks at the statement and then more so when he inwardly admitted that no, he wouldn't mind losing it at all—not one bit. He kept that factoid to himself, however, choosing to merely offer a simple and insistent, "I'm fine, really."

"All right." Kondo nosed at his damp hair. "I brought tea. Let's go sit down and get you warm, yeah?" A beat, and then he added, "Awfully strange to say that in July."

"You're tellin' me. I don't know how rain could be so damn cold now." Hijikata's voice was airy as the arms which had encircled him regrettably retreated and caused him to feel instant loss. He crossed his own before his chest to make up for it, and attempted to fill the offending distance between them with conversation. "Y'know, I should really bring some clothes and leave them here for days like these."

Filler talk at its prime, really, for it wasn't as though he minded his current state of total Kat-chan immersion. Quite the contrary, indeed.

"Or, uh, you could finally enroll and just move in," Kondo quipped while retrieving the tea and then neared an empty expanse of wall he could use to support his back. Carefully, he knelt and set the tray back down on the tatami. "Then, this could be your room too and you could yell at me to get out of it."

Hijikata snorted loudly. "Shut up."

"I'm serious! It's—" When Kondo turned to sit, the words abruptly stopped as his eyes fell on Hijikata. His lips pursed in an attempt as obvious as it was pathetic to hold back laughter, and promptly failed.

"What?!" Hijikata demanded, tossing his arms into a shrug and sending excessive hakamashita sleeves flapping, which appeared to only further fuel the situation.

"Toshi, my clothes are ridiculously big on you!"

"Well, excuse me for not being some super muscular dojo heir." With that petulant reply, Hijikata pivoted on his toes. He plopped himself down between Kondo's legs, reached for one of the cups—ah, divine heat against his hands—and then leaned back.

"You're excused." Despite being subjected to such critique, chiseled arms wrapped about Hijikata's abdomen then with unprecedented tenderness and Kondo purred in his ear, "This time." Fingertips drummed before he added, "But if you ever do change your mind…"

"Kat-chan." The name fell breathless. "This again, huh?"

The catch in Kondo's voice preceded the, "N—no pressure, of course!" Then came a laugh that was perhaps a bit too animated. "I'm patient!" And though Hijikata couldn't see Kondo's face, he perceived a genuine smile from the sound of those words, as real as the chin he felt coming to rest on his shoulder. "I can wait, I mean it. Even if you decide to never move in. I can…" He trailed off and immediately insisted, "It's fine!"

Hijikata stared into his tea as silence fell, not exactly uncomfortable or tense but certainly pensive. He knew that reply had been sincere; a non-answer or negative answer would be something Kondo would respect, even if it made him unhappy. However, this wasn't the first time such a conversation surfaced between them and undoubtedly it wouldn't be the last—with Kondo gently advancing and retracting when boundaries were trodden upon, with Hijikata wanting to honor his every desire but…

His thoughts deflected. Was it fair, forever being locked in this dance? Kondo grasped with surety where they stood and why things had to be this way, at least for now. Or so Hijikata assumed. But then again, constant rejection could do unfavorable things to someone, no matter how careful the letdown and despite how unhurt he outwardly appeared.

Wincing, Hijikata's lips pulled into a taut line. Outwardly, ne… The outside matching the unspoken inside was the real issue, and he had no idea if Kondo was swallowing unpleasant feelings from inclination to protect him; it wasn't a far-fetched theory, as the young master had always been a brooder by nature and preferred to keep his worries to himself. That, on its own, was certifiably unjust and deserved addressing even if it was merely speculation, but Hijikata wouldn't stand to even consider the possibility of Kondo suffering from misread intent.

Thus with resolve to set things right, without even knowing if they actually required to be, he pressed the cup to his mouth and a gulp followed. His chest pushed outward from the deep inhale drawn immediately after, and on its release, he spoke up. "Kat-chan."

"Mm?"

"You know, I—" The stop was abrupt when Hijikata realized where his words were heading and he soundlessly chided himself. He needed to offer something better than a generic 'it's not you, it's me' excuse, no matter how truthful it was. His tongue poked out to wet his lips and he replaced the teacup on the tray, then leaned back into the blissful recesses of Kondo's arms. Several moments of quiet consideration passed before it became apparent that he was trying too hard, and on that, Hijikata settled for the route of pure candor. "Can I ask you something? Seriously."

"Anything, Toshi." The sincerity in that reply was like an embrace itself, and it made it hard—so hard—to not just completely give in. Because Hijikata knew how much Kondo wanted this. And more than that, more than anything, it was what he wanted too if he were honest with himself.

There were conditions, though, and therein lay the dilemma which kept his feet cemented in a realistic life versus the ideal dream. Accepting Kondo's hand and never letting go warranted absolute fealty; it was a level of commitment that Hijikata knew himself to be capable of and how he longed for the day he could give it. But in the present, the place and time were wrong. There was too large a gap separating them, and too great a threat of becoming yet another reliant string attached not pulling its weight.

Before anything else, Hijikata needed to be at the point where he could offer what he had without accompaniment of terms in his favor, or skewed sacrifice—needed to be able to meet Kondo halfway, instead of three-quarters or even further. Part of it stemmed from pride, yes, but that resolve had always taken root primarily in equity and balance. And what better way to demonstrate his perceived lack of those factors than in this very moment?

"Would you say it's fair?" Hijikata raised his shoulders. "This situation."

"Fair," Kondo repeated slowly. "I'm…afraid I'm not following you?"

A soft scoff. "Take a look around. I'm under your roof. I'm wearing your clothes." Nodding steadily, Hijikata continued rattling off without pause, for the more reasons he listed the more valid his logic became and the better his argument. "I'm drinking your tea. You're happily assuming the role of furniture. We're—"

Kondo's frame stiffened and he attempted to coax them both into moving to see each other face-to-face; Hijikata, however, intentionally pressed heavily unto him to prevent it. "What does—" He struggled for a moment more before giving up. "What does that have to do with anything?"

"Isn't it obvious?" The lack of answer to Hijikata's question confirmed it hadn't been, prompting yet another half-sigh. "Kat-chan, you're always cleaning up my messes."

"Toshi." Kondo gave another gentle push. "Please, can we…?"

Relenting with a shake of the head, Hijikata leaned forward and turned himself so their eyes could meet. "Look," he began, sitting back in informal seiza but never had the chance to finish his thought.

"No." The softness which previously enveloped Kondo had vanished, in both voice and demeanor. "First of all, I'm not cleaning anything up." As he spoke, however, it appeared something had begun to dawn on him and his stance instantly mellowed. He squinted, and then reached forth carefully to brush his thumb along Hijikata's cheek. "Did I—?" The words died and he swallowed hard with the sinking of his shoulders. Kondo's gaze fell for a moment, and then it returned. "I made you think that? You think you owe me for something?"

"What? No." Hijikata's hand covered the one gently pressed to his cheek and pulled it away in favor of cradling it with both of his own. "No, it's not that. Or…" Taking a breath, his focus veered off over his shoulder and his spine relaxed slightly. "It's not you making me feel..." He paused, considering the correct language. "…indebted."

Kondo's mouth parted at that, but Hijikata pressed on before he could properly reply. "It's like this. I was in the middle of the Kawamura rice field when the storm rolled in." His eyes narrowed at nothing in particular on the far wall. "And thinking back on it now, I wasn't the only one who got caught in it. There were others traveling, of course. And at that first crack of thunder, whoosh, everyone took off." Hijikata's voice trailed into a pensive tone, almost as if he were speaking to himself. "I wonder where they ended up."

Kondo's fingers twitched between the palms that sheltered them to indicate he was listening, and when Hijikata's eyes met his again, warm gold was rife with consternation; still, despite apparently being needled at by a million questions, Kondo remained respectfully quiet, humble, attentive.

Hijikata exhaled, appreciating the courtesy and regard, and reciprocated in full by not allowing this conversation to turn into a guessing game. "What I mean is that they all had some place, or someone, in mind to run off to. I did, too." His shoulders nudged upward. "And that's why I wound up here."

"And I'm glad you did," Kondo asserted. "Toshi, I'm glad. I mean, where else would you have gone? Under some random roof somewhere so you could shiver while you're soaked to the bone?"

"Maybe."

"But that doesn't make any sense!"

"It does when you think how much I rely on you!" The retort had Kondo's lashes parting a little wider and Hijikata's shoulders dipped as he tossed his gaze to the side once more. "Kat-chan, I rely on you so much. Too much."

He felt Kondo inching closer on his knees and a warm hand fell over his own. "Toshi."

Letting his lashes fall, Hijikata shook his head with vehemence. "So, if I moved in here, do you know how much worse that would be? How much of a burden? It's—"

"Toshi." A gentle shake brought Hijikata back to Kondo, and all he knew from there was the embrace he found himself pulled into.

¹ Danna-sama: Master

Side note about Souji's age... While it's unknown if his birth year was 1842 or 1844, I chose 1844. I understand this goes against what Hakuouki's writers decided. He always strikes me as very young in Reimeiroku however, so that's why I went to go with the later year.