Boy, am I on a roll! A... transform and roll OUT, that is! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Fear my hurricane of puns. And, FEAR MY RULES SPAM.
In response to AndromedaAI: Yes, yes, I did read Short Stuff. (Facking hilarious title, btw.) And although I got dragged away by something else and couldn't review, I would now like to say this in response. YOU MUST UPDATE. THE POWER OF THE MINIFORMERS COMPELS YOU~ *evil sorcerer hand gestures and wiggling fingers*
In response to Princess of Dreams: Lol! He tries to get on everybody's good side, but I think he also may have a crush on Tally. I think it's kind of cute, but I can see Tally's point where it would get annoying. So, probably both! :D
Anyhoozle! Let's get on with the rules, shall we?
Credit to Naughtia for Rule #6: A new member of the house suffers at the hands of a 'Con who should really be in some kind of nuthouse.
Credit to Naughtia, smoshaholic123, and my buddy freakofnature96 (from Youtube) for Rule #7: Tally watches what she wants, when she wants, but the bots have their own set of rules. (I rolled all your rules into one just because y'all had the same basic idea. Smooshed them all together lol!)
Credit to Klicks for Rule #8: Starscream should really watch where he's going around Tally.
Credit to Klicks for Rule #9: Skywarp is afraid of the bath tub, thanks to one of Ramjet's tall tales.
Credit to Anonymous BW FG for Rule #10: Megatron doesn't like to share, especially when it comes to his precious rubber ducky.
Credit to Anonymous BW FG for Rule #11: A P.O.K.E. is not something you do to your friends on Facebook.
Also, thanks to Anonymous BW FG for correcting my numbering! I didn't even notice. Next one will be rules 12-15 then and I'll fix the numbering. XD
I didn't use all of your ideas simply because like I said I'm doing updates of 5 rules at a time. (OK, six this time, whoopsie...?) There WILL be more next chapter... as long as you keep sending meh ideas!
The Kuroshitsuji and Macross thing in Rule #7 is kind of a shout out to myself, as well as an inside joke between me and freakofnature96. I'm voicing Grace O'Connor in his fandub of Macross Frontier, and somewhere along the line we got to talking about my profile pic on Skype, which is Undertaker from Kuroshitsuji. And we totally decided that he and Grace are crazy, creepy, and perfect for each other.
So Undertaker x Grace is totally a crossover pairing now. I even have fanart and videos.
KUROSHITSUJI AND MACROSS FOREVER!
MWAHAHAHA.
Now, keep that evil laughter in mind as you read through this next set of devious rules!
6. I bought a fish because I thought you guys might be lonely, not so you could take advantage of its 3-second attention span.
(They wanted to know more about the organic world?)
(I could live with that. I encouraged it. I went out and bought a fish for just that purpose.)
(Little did I know, there were more than a few bots who were not using the little goldfish in the way I intended.)
(I caught Soundwave flashing his cameras at it and stunning it.)
(He did it so many times I think the thing actually had some kind of freaky fish seizure.)
(Then Bumblebee started buzzing his stingers against the glass and scaring the hell out of them.)
(Three seconds later, wouldn't you know it, they came swimming back only for Bee to do the same thing.)
(Ironhide threatened to blast the tank with his cannons if the fish didn't stop looking at him, and I quote, "with those big old eyes.")
(One day I decided I ought to clean the fish tank, and I enlisted the lovely First Aid as my cleaning buddy.)
(I put the fish in a bag with water and gave it to Prowl for safekeeping.)
(When First Aid and I came back from the bathroom, with a sparkling tank, we found Prowl lying on the table where we left him with the fish.)
(Someone had made him crash.)
(Judging by the fact that we found the bag with the fish in Blitzwing's possession, with a bunch of holes in it, I have a pretty safe guess who it was.)
(Skywarp actually cried when we had to flush the poor fish down the toilet.)
(Then Optimus gave a very nice speech that even made me tear up a little.)
(R.I.P., Goldimus Prime.)
7. My house, my TV, my rules.
(Just because they got there before I did, that doesn't give them free reign over the remote.)
(If I want to watch Kuroshitsuji or Macross, I seriously DARE them to say something about it.)
(Because if they do, I will tell them in the kindest of terms to stuff it.)
(When I do let them have the TV, there are a few things I absolutely forbid.)
(One, Skids and Mudflap cannot watch TV alone.)
(I'm afraid they may discover... um... certain channels.)
(And I'd rather not have to answer those kinds of questions, if you know what I mean.)
(Two, nobody lets Ironhide or Hound watch Western movies.)
('Hide likes the movies with Clint Eastwood, so he wants to see other "rough-and-tumble" action movies... which, for him, translates into How the West Was Won.)
(Hound just stares at the screen, waiting to see the horses; I'm afraid someday he's going to sit too close and ruin his optics.)
(And finally, three, if you want to change the channel, DO NOT jump on the remote's buttons.)
"You break the remote, I break your everything else."
(I've never seen Knock Out run so fast.)
(He probably thought "everything else" meant his finish.)
8. Starscream, you're allowed to fly around me while I watch TV. Just remember, if you don't watch where you're going, you'll have to recharge with your optics open.
(For some reason, Starscream finds it amusing to fly circles around my head when I'm sitting.)
(When I'm sitting anywhere, really, but especially while I'm watching TV.)
(After a few times, I thought he'd get dizzy and... I dunno. Fall or puke or something.)
(But no, he keeps doing it, and to tell you the truth I don't really mind.)
(It's kind of nice to know he feels comfortable enough around me.)
(However, that all ended when one day I was watching Good Luck, Charlie and I started nodding off.)
(Starscream figured that the best way to keep me awake was to switch up his flight pattern... right against the side of my head.)
(I chased him with a pair of jewelry pliers for a full five minutes, yelling everything I could think of.)
"Get back here! I will tear your little head off! I will mount your wings over the fireplace and throw darts at them! I HOPE YOU CAN SLEEP WITH YOUR EYES OPEN!"
(He didn't go into recharge for a full week after that.)
(He was really afraid I'd rip off his wings.)
9. Skywarp, teleport to your little spark's content... just NOT when I'm trying to give you a bath.
(A clean mech is a happy mech.)
(I make sure to give them all regular baths, even Red Alert, who surprisingly has begun to like it.)
(No microbes will invade his systems so long as he's clean, he says!)
(Most of the Seekers love bath time, because they get their wings cleaned and rubbed, which I hear is a pleasant feeling.)
(Well, not so much hear that phrase as hear Sunstorm's moans of ecstasy.)
(Seriously, I... don't know what his problem is.)
(But, when bath time rolls around every week, the only Seeker I actually have to chase around is Skywarp.)
(Apparently Ramjet told him that if you remove the plug from the drain, it sucks you in and you're never heard from again.)
(So it's always a fight between us, which mostly consists of me grabbing at him and him warping away.)
(Over and over and over.)
(And when I finally get my hands on him, he warps right out of them as soon as I go to put him in the water.)
(I feel bad for him, but I think I'm going to start catching him in a jar for bath time.)
(That way I can just pour the water and soap in, shake it up, and he's clean.)
(Then he can warp all he wants.)
10. Megatron is very protective of his rubber ducky. I am not to ever touch it. EVER. Probably not even if his life depended on it.
(At first, Megatron didn't like bath time at all.)
(In fact, he was almost like Skywarp about it, except... not the "scared" thing.)
(Megs liked to fire his cannon at me whenever I told him it was time for his bath.)
(His tiny, cute little cannon that actually kind of gives you first-degree burns.)
(So... not all that cute, really.)
(Whenever I gave him a bath, I'd have to hold him under the water, one hand pinning him down, while I scrubbed him.)
(And he would be trying to yell the whole time.)
(One day I decided that, after I'd captured him for bath time, I would try a different approach.)
(After all, maybe he just didn't like being manhandled. Or, uh, woman-handled.)
(So come bath time, I managed to grab him after a mini fight and carried him to bathroom, then I very gently placed him on the side of the tub.)
(I could tell he was confused, because he looked at me like "WTF?")
"I'm giving you a choice, Megatron. You can fight with me like we usually do... but if you do that, I won't let you play with this bath toy."
(I brought out a little rubber duck from the water, and squeaked it a few times.)
(He looked from it to me, then jumped onto my hand and wrapped himself around the duck.)
"Mine."
(Since then, I haven't had a problem with bath time for him.)
(But the last time I tried to let someone else use the duck, somehow he found out and decided to stand there blasting his cannon over and over on my leg until I was done.)
(Long story short, I now just buy everyone their own bath toy.)
11. I can complain about Megatron all I want... just not where Lugnut can hear me.
(Sometimes I wish Lugnut would just, I dunno, drop off the face of the Earth or something.)
(It would be a whole lot less grief for me if he randomly disappeared.)
(Before I got Megatron his rubber ducky, he used to annoy the hell out of me, as I've detailed in Rule 9.)
(Every time he fought back at bath time, I would come out of the bathroom soaked and have to change my clothes.)
(While simultaneously devising new ways to keep Sunstorm out of my room while I changed.)
(Knock Out liked to follow me around and help me pick out new clothes from my closet.)
(Say what you like about him, but he's got an optic for fashion.)
(And while he did that for me, I would complain rather loudly about what had just gone down.)
"God, I don't know how much more of this I can take! Megatron's driving me crazy. Why can't he just learn that rules are rules? He's got to follow them like everyone else. He's not above them."
(One of these times, Lugnut happened to be walking by my door and overheard me.)
(He threw a tiny tantrum, finding a little crack in the door and running in to yell at me.)
(It was actually kind of funny.)
(Until he decided that the conclusion to his tantrum was to P.O.K.E. my toe, that is.)
(Once my toe stopped hurting, I trapped him in a shoe box and didn't let him out until I felt he had learned his lesson.)
(Who would have thought an attack with an acronym that spells poke would hurt so much?)
FALALALALALALALA~
Poor Tally! Poor Skywarp! And what the hell is with Megatron and his ducky?! I bet he has a crush on it! CARGO SHIP!
Don't forget to send in some more suggestions, and reviews are always welcome! They make me feel so warm and fuzzy inside. 8D
Thankies for reading! ^^